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By * Jay69 OP Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. It manifests itself in your children's names,
Penny, Goldie and Frank."
He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children's names:
Brandy and Sherry. You even called the cat, "Whisky".
He then turned to the fourth Mum June: "Your obsession is with flowers. Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy."
At this point, the fifth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered:
"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's put Willy and John Thomas in the buggy and go home." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A blonde takes her car to a mechanic. he says 'nothing to worry about, just shit in the air filter'. She says 'Brilliant, so how many times a day do i do that?' lmao |
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By *scariMan
over a year ago
Taunton |
Little old lady goes to doctor. Doctor ask what is the problem? She explains ...when she passes gas you can't hear it and you can't smell it. In fact she tells him...i just farted several times...and as you can see no smell and you can't hear em'.
Doctor gives her a prescription and tells her to come back in a week.
She returns to the doctor the following week and is quite puzzled with the doctor...she explains the pills he gave her are making her farts really stink...and ask him why that is...but she still can't hear the farts.
Doctor explains...now that we have your sinus problem fixed ...lets work on your hearing.
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By *scariMan
over a year ago
Taunton |
A father asked his ten-year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"
Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed,
"When I was six, I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the 'there's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'there's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."
"Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"
"Do you want a hand job?"
She's a keeper. |
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By *scariMan
over a year ago
Taunton |
On their honeymoon,
the blond bride slipped into a sexy nightie and,
with great anticipation, crawled into bed,
only to find her new catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, It's Lent.
In tears, she sobbed, Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!
Who did you lend it to,
and for how long? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of my favs........
A blonde and a brunette are talking in the office...
Blonde: I'm not feeling very well... I have a sore throat.
Brunette: When I have a sore throat, I give my husband a blow job... the next day, my throat is fine.
Blonde: Hmm... interesting.
The next day...
Brunette: How's your throat?
Blonde: Fine... your idea was great! Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea! |
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