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Things you have learnt from the movies
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What movie cliches have you learnt? I'll start with....
Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters,though their clothing can be shredded-- except for the bits required for minimal decency,which are made from completely indestructible fabric. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every female ever should be able to wake up in the morning with hair and make up perfect"
Yeah but the guy laid at the side of her doesn't have morning glory   |
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Men can be beaten, shot, blown up, thrown out of planes, probed by aliens without a murmur, but the moment a pretty woman offers to bathe their wounds and give them the gentlist touch they scream and jump like little girls! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That 99.9% of street scenes in Hollywood movies are filmed in a 100 yard long section of universal studios. If you've been there you will know what I mean with the flight of concrete steps leading up to a large building. I see it over and over again ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...
I like your kinda films... 
Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...  "
Now that would be one hellova movie night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...
I like your kinda films...
Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...
Now that would be one hellova movie night"
Can I come and see your collection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...
I like your kinda films...
Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...
Now that would be one hellova movie night
Can I come and see your collection "
Sure if you suply the cockporn... My bad i mean popcorn!! |
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When an action hero kills the bad guy he does so with a little quip and then kills them
When a bad guy goes to kill the action hero he has to tell them their life history this giving them chance to escape
 |
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"When in a big, dark, scary house, it's better to go off exploring. On your own."
And NEVER switch on a light, always take with you a big knife from the obligatory knife block that ever slasher film house has on the kitchen counter x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing the movies have taught me:
Is that no one actually Dies, they use actors and actresses, well that's okay unless you have an undertaking business outside the studios |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women like anal, facials and can squirt on command...
I like your kinda films...
Oh, we're talking films, I was just going by experience!...
Now that would be one hellova movie night"
I'll order us a pizza and warm up the blue-ray player...
Or should I just set up a camera and we can make our own?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That if you get attacked by a gang of 30 bad guys you needn't worry they will only come at you one at a time while the others prance around at the edge of the shot waiting for their turn "
OH! Rather similar to a gangbang then??? |
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"No matter how much we think the man villain will succeed in whatever plot he's got no matter what the odds are the good guys always win....lol"
yep, usually as the genius big bad guy who has built their empire from scratch and outwitted all others decides to tell the 'hero' whats about to happen.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The frog noises you hear in films are only found in California.
If you're black in a horror film don't worry about learning too many lines, you're going to die soon
No one locks their cars in the USA
People think American cities are clean because many of the street scenes are now shot in Canada
If you're a police captain you're going to get "chewed out" by the mayor for the antics of your brilliant detective who's never failed to solve a crime
Steven Segal can only do one wrist lock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first man i through door lives in a shoot out.
Car doors stop bullets when you hide behind them.
There is always loads of flames in an explosion.
Explosions don't kill the good guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Male heroes who act in films NEVER go bald or get thin hair however old they get. The exception to that rule is the bad guy who is allowed to be bald. The second exception is Jason Statham/Vin Diesel et al because they are hard men. Oh n Bruce Willis (I assume cos he once was Mr Demi Moore n therefore excused on grounds of diminished responsibility! )  |
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Despite it being 'spontaneous' when a character breaks into song everyone else already knows the lyrics and they all dance the same.
Every girl in the 80's had a perm
Every boy in the 80's possessed only one jacket of the following 3 - denim leather or letterman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the american military are absolutely fucking terrible at any scientific research...they get hold of iron mans outfits and designs,,,bravo...but in an encounter with a threatening alien force, they decide to send soldiers out with normal army gear
fucking morons |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
We are a nation of animal lovers....
When the blonde bint gets slaughtered, we all think "yeah, the bimbo deserved it"...
When the good looking young guy is next we think "Yip, saw that comming"...
BUT if the family pet gets it???
OMFG!!! They killed the dog! I cant believe they did that! that so fkn outta order! How dare they! Thats sick!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All american cars have a set of keys under the sun visor 
Good guys can be thrown/pushed or fall through a plate glass window but get up without a scratch on them !!
The military continue to use rockets, missiles and firearms on a 100ft monster even though it clearly does no damage whatsoever !!!
Being a huge hollywood action hero orginally from Austria entitles you to become an american governor of state
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a large building , tree or other huge object is beginning to fall its always best to run in the exact direction of the path its falling in !
When being chased by a car, motorbike or other fast moving vehicle its best to run in a straight away from said vehicle instead of dodging to the side and running in the opposite direction !! |
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