 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Right my mate has just started seeing a lady half his age. He is due to come into some money soon. She knows this too. She is broke with 2 kids. They have only been together for a few weeks and she has pulled at his heart strings and got him to agree to move in together as she don't like where she lives. It means moving to abigger house but they don't have the deposit.
Do I
A . Take him aside and slap some sense into him
Or
B. lend them the money and be there for him if it all falls apart.
He has been married twice before and lost 2 houses and everything he owns!!!
Help plz  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He may not listen if you tell him but if you don't you will regret it
People have to make their own mistakes and if hes made these before and goes in again - its not your fault
Oh and no - no lending money |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think a real friend will have the tough conversation while also being supportive.
The 'I love you man and I am there for you no matter what you decide but have you considered that you are putting a lot into this again and you've done that twice before and suffered. What is the harm in waiting this time... taking it a bit slower. I wouldn't be a true friend if I didn't have your best interests at heart... blah blah'
It's not the easy choice but it is the choice that friend will make. I wouldn't call anyone who sits back and watches me make a car wreck decision a true friend. Even if I turn around and tell the to f**k off because of my rose tinted glasses.
That's just my view of course but what friend decides not to get involved in their mates wellbeing? I think that's called an acquaintance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Never lend money unless you can afford to lose it!
A true friend would never have asked for it in the first place, it's not as if it is only a couple of quid!  "
Exactly I have lost so much money because I took pity....not any more |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never lend money unless you can afford to lose it!
A true friend would never have asked for it in the first place, it's not as if it is only a couple of quid! "
^^^^ this!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"He can pay his own deposit
The money due to him will be upto a year before he gets it
And???? If you are against what he is doing then don't encourage it.....he is a big boy "
If he still wants to move in in a year he can fund it himself then can't he! Tell him you won't let him the money for his own good to stop him doing something stupid! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hang on a cotton picking minute! None of us know either person so who are we to pass judgement on this woman who is in a relationship with a grown man. My opinion is stop treating this guy like a child allow him to make his own decision and be there to support him if it goes wrong. Whether you lend him money is your call. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You dont owe him and you shouldnt expect him to owe you too. What if something happens to that money and he ends up obligated to you AND penniless at the same time?
Dont support the move if you dont support the relationship but leave it to him to see it for what it really is and to figure out how he goes about it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I wouldn't lend him any money.
I would have the 'chat' about how you will always be there for him as a mate but that its his life to lead and that he needs to think before he rushes headlong into another relationship.
That being said, this could be 'the one' for him so I wouldn't stand in his way  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lend him the money if he's a real friend, if you can afford it and if you're sure you will get it back. Maybe they won't marry and in which case his house and your money are safe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lend him the money if he's a real friend, if you can afford it and if you're sure you will get it back. Maybe they won't marry and in which case his house and your money are safe. "
Lend me a tenner lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
He sounds like a serial monogamist - the type just can't bear being by themselves.
I have an ex who is like that, he is currently on wife number 3, kids to two of them and has lost two houses.
I would seriously give him a slap, tell him he's a mug and needs to grow up. Then stay out of it. Under no circumstances lend him money. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right my mate has just started seeing a lady half his age. He is due to come into some money soon. She knows this too. She is broke with 2 kids. They have only been together for a few weeks and she has pulled at his heart strings and got him to agree to move in together as she don't like where she lives. It means moving to abigger house but they don't have the deposit.
Do I
A . Take him aside and slap some sense into him
Or
B. lend them the money and be there for him if it all falls apart.
He has been married twice before and lost 2 houses and everything he owns!!!
Help plz "
Option A every time...... and at the risk of being slated sounds like he`s about to get spun by a gold digger after a meal ticket |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right my mate has just started seeing a lady half his age. He is due to come into some money soon. She knows this too. She is broke with 2 kids. They have only been together for a few weeks and she has pulled at his heart strings and got him to agree to move in together as she don't like where she lives. It means moving to abigger house but they don't have the deposit.
Do I
A . Take him aside and slap some sense into him
Or
B. lend them the money and be there for him if it all falls apart.
He has been married twice before and lost 2 houses and everything he owns!!!
Help plz "
Some people never learn but we doubt he'll listen.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lend him the money if he's a real friend, if you can afford it and if you're sure you will get it back. Maybe they won't marry and in which case his house and your money are safe.
Lend me a tenner lol "
Left it on the shelf, under the photo of my pussy .... if you can get it in the next hour it's all yours  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Never a lender or borrower be!
Depends then on your friendship with him, how close? Have you discussed prior relationship breakup and reasons why?
If you are very close friends and have discussed in detail before then yes talk to him, if not it will seem odd and unwarranted advice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
