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meet cancelled
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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had a meet tonight ( me and my gf ) and been textin exchangin pics and phone calls etc and alls going well until she asks me what race i am.....i go mixed half jamaican half white ( i am fairly light skinned ).......she cancels there and then sayin i only meet white guys, wtf..........if you like what you see and have a connection over the phone, what does it matter what race i am? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guess it comes down to personal choice and preference - and of course clear pics to enable people to get an idea if attraction up front!!
So the GF is playing too now then? I'd set up a couples profile if I were you - much easier to get meets that way as plenty will be suspicious of a single male profile with a GF/FB !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It shouldn't do.
But is it personal preference or is it racism?
The person may be a racist so their personal preferences wouldn't include yourself.
I'd say fuck em your loss and move on.
To judge a person by the colour of their skin is small minded in my opinion and does certainly hint at racial factors. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guess it comes down to personal choice and preference - and of course clear pics to enable people to get an idea if attraction up front!!
So the GF is playing too now then? I'd set up a couples profile if I were you - much easier to get meets that way as plenty will be suspicious of a single male profile with a GF/FB !! "
thanks for the advice  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It shouldn't do.
But is it personal preference or is it racism?
The person may be a racist so their personal preferences wouldn't include yourself.
I'd say fuck em your loss and move on.
To judge a person by the colour of their skin is small minded in my opinion and does certainly hint at racial factors."
ye it is pretty piss take  |
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"It shouldn't do.
But is it personal preference or is it racism?
The person may be a racist so their personal preferences wouldn't include yourself.
I'd say fuck em your loss and move on.
To judge a person by the colour of their skin is small minded in my opinion and does certainly hint at racial factors."
I largely agree but do know someone who cannot stand Asian (as in Indian Sub Continent) men. She say's one of the things that really gets to her is the accent, the sound of the voice freaks her. The reason for this, a serious attempted rape by someone she had befriended and trusted, som things can go more deeply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May be speaking out of turn but it's my opinion... I would say normally its personal preference on what that person was attracted to but with you I would say definitely racist!! Your not dark at all  |
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"May be speaking out of turn but it's my opinion... I would say normally its personal preference on what that person was attracted to but with you I would say definitely racist!! Your not dark at all "
Yeah just look at the photos, definitely racist. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course it's racism. She obviously liked your looks and personality enough to want to meet you but changed her mind cuz you told her your ethnicity.
"
i guess so  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It shouldn't do.
But is it personal preference or is it racism?
The person may be a racist so their personal preferences wouldn't include yourself.
I'd say fuck em your loss and move on.
To judge a person by the colour of their skin is small minded in my opinion and does certainly hint at racial factors.
I largely agree but do know someone who cannot stand Asian (as in Indian Sub Continent) men. She say's one of the things that really gets to her is the accent, the sound of the voice freaks her. The reason for this, a serious attempted rape by someone she had befriended and trusted, som things can go more deeply."
And that is a good reason for her. And completely understandable.
There were a few EDL threads on here a few weeks back and it was fairly obvious that there is by some strong support for them and their views by some people on this site. Not everyone but some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course it's racism. She obviously liked your looks and personality enough to want to meet you but changed her mind cuz you told her your ethnicity.
i guess so "
Fucker her. It's her problem not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - If you hadn't mentioned that you'd had phone calls with this 'person', then I'd be leaning towards her actually being a fake, but unless it was someone who really does need a shrink, I think you covered that one.
As for her 'preferences', two things on that: one, she really ought to state it in her profile and not waste peoples time. And two, she'd already seen pics of you - now she's either not taken much notice (or looked at something other than your face) or she's shown them to someone else and THEY have put the question in her head - known that to happen before, but not to me.
Either way, I think you're better off rid of her.
ted. |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
I often wonder with people like this if popular icons like Vin Diesel too would mean they'd be turned down.
I'm so glad neither of us see colour as an issue.
It hurt us though a while back being labelled a racist by a lady we weren't attracted to that happened to be either Thai/Malaysian only for her to throw the race card into the equation.
Move on, good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be of the opinion if someone doesn't want to spend time with me due to the colour of my skin, the accent I have or the country I come or came from, then I'm happy not to have to spend time in their company. Small minded bigots and people with narrow thinking patterns aren't my idea of a good time I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be of the opinion if someone doesn't want to spend time with me due to the colour of my skin, the accent I have or the country I come or came from, then I'm happy not to have to spend time in their company. Small minded bigots and people with narrow thinking patterns aren't my idea of a good time I'm afraid. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"had a meet tonight ( me and my gf ) and been textin exchangin pics and phone calls etc and alls going well until she asks me what race i am.....i go mixed half jamaican half white ( i am fairly light skinned ).......she cancels there and then sayin i only meet white guys, wtf..........if you like what you see and have a connection over the phone, what does it matter what race i am?"
It shouldn't matter at all and if you've been exchanging pics then I really cant for the life of me understand why she cancelled after asking what race you are!! Block and move on I say!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think racism may be alittle too strong a word for a situation like that, we all find different things attractive or unatractive, and everybody has the right to say who or what they do or don't want without being labeled.
However if she's already seen pics of you, she should have realised to start with and must had liked what she saw, sounds more like she was trying to find a reason NOT to meet and that was her justification in her mind? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be of the opinion if someone doesn't want to spend time with me due to the colour of my skin, the accent I have or the country I come or came from, then I'm happy not to have to spend time in their company. Small minded bigots and people with narrow thinking patterns aren't my idea of a good time I'm afraid. "
Or ugly people , old people bald people its called preference and you can certainly fuck whom you like and it has nothing to do with anyone else ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think racism may be alittle too strong a word for a situation like that, we all find different things attractive or unatractive, and everybody has the right to say who or what they do or don't want without being labeled.
However if she's already seen pics of you, she should have realised to start with and must had liked what she saw, sounds more like she was trying to find a reason NOT to meet and that was her justification in her mind? "
possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It shouldn't matter at all and if you've been exchanging pics then I really cant for the life of me understand why she cancelled after asking what race you are!! Block and move on I say!!"
The only reason I can think of that would explain that someone cancels an already planned meet after asking what race the OP is, is racism. Having seen pics and talked to him/them whilst arranging a meet all was fine until he was asked his race. Whilst an earlier poster highlighted a case of attempted rape by men of a certain race as an exceptable reason for not liking a certain group of society, which in my mind isn't racism it's avoiding reliving a horrific memory. To reject someone by skin colour or race is racism. I know that it is a personal preference but it is at the same time racism especially when they tell you 'I only meet white people'
Anyone who rejects someone purely on race is by definition racist. |
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"OP - If you hadn't mentioned that you'd had phone calls with this 'person', then I'd be leaning towards her actually being a fake, but unless it was someone who really does need a shrink, I think you covered that one.
As for her 'preferences', two things on that: one, she really ought to state it in her profile and not waste peoples time. And two, she'd already seen pics of you - now she's either not taken much notice (or looked at something other than your face) or she's shown them to someone else and THEY have put the question in her head - known that to happen before, but not to me.
Either way, I think you're better off rid of her.
ted."
spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be of the opinion if someone doesn't want to spend time with me due to the colour of my skin, the accent I have or the country I come or came from, then I'm happy not to have to spend time in their company. Small minded bigots and people with narrow thinking patterns aren't my idea of a good time I'm afraid.
Or ugly people , old people bald people its called preference and you can certainly fuck whom you like and it has nothing to do with anyone else ! "
Except in this case the preference was stated after pictures were seen.
I've got no problems with people having preferences and in fact I'd rather not meet people who are racist as is my preference. However claiming that its prefernce when choosing people after you've spoken to them and seen pictures but they're part Jamaican then race actually does come into it. By the very definition of racism judging people based on their race is not a preference but racism. It is however their preference to be racist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But by definition anybody that rejects someone purely on their sex is sexist ?
Unfortunately there are racist people in this world, it's not perfect , but everyone has the right to choose who/what they wish to have sex with without hateful words being applied. ( and racism has to be one of those words ) unless we know the person who did the rejecting and her reasons behind it why fuel the hate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be of the opinion if someone doesn't want to spend time with me due to the colour of my skin, the accent I have or the country I come or came from, then I'm happy not to have to spend time in their company. Small minded bigots and people with narrow thinking patterns aren't my idea of a good time I'm afraid.
Or ugly people , old people bald people its called preference and you can certainly fuck whom you like and it has nothing to do with anyone else !
Except in this case the preference was stated after pictures were seen.
I've got no problems with people having preferences and in fact I'd rather not meet people who are racist as is my preference. However claiming that its prefernce when choosing people after you've spoken to them and seen pictures but they're part Jamaican then race actually does come into it. By the very definition of racism judging people based on their race is not a preference but racism. It is however their preference to be racist. "
Well said.
We all have preferences for a multitude of different reasons, to have a preference to avoid others of a different race is racism. There are obviously some people you're not going to click with, whatever the race, but to rule them all out due to race... it's racism whatever way you want to wrap it up. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Think racism may be alittle too strong a word for a situation like that, we all find different things attractive or unatractive, and everybody has the right to say who or what they do or don't want without being labeled.
However if she's already seen pics of you, she should have realised to start with and must had liked what she saw, sounds more like she was trying to find a reason NOT to meet and that was her justification in her mind? "
Exactly. I think she was looking for a reason to cancel as she changed her mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But by definition anybody that rejects someone purely on their sex is sexist ?
Unfortunately there are racist people in this world, it's not perfect , but everyone has the right to choose who/what they wish to have sex with without hateful words being applied. ( and racism has to be one of those words ) unless we know the person who did the rejecting and her reasons behind it why fuel the hate? "
So you want people to air their racist views but not be called out on it?
Ahhh bless don't hurt the poor racists feelings by calling them a racist...
Oh dear. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i really wouldn't worry too much about it...from your last pic id have guessed you were mixed race and bloody gorgeous too! her loss sexy  "
made my day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All you have to do is pull your socks up and move on..she cancelled, she cancelled. You cant do anything about it.
..just count your lucky stars your not asian lol theres far more rejection for us haha
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But by definition anybody that rejects someone purely on their sex is sexist ?
Unfortunately there are racist people in this world, it's not perfect , but everyone has the right to choose who/what they wish to have sex with without hateful words being applied. ( and racism has to be one of those words ) unless we know the person who did the rejecting and her reasons behind it why fuel the hate?
So you want people to air their racist views but not be called out on it?
Ahhh bless don't hurt the poor racists feelings by calling them a racist...
Oh dear."
. The Oxford English Dictionary defines racism as the “belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races” and the expression of such prejudice.
So how is choosing to only sleep with "white" or "black" guys or girls racist?
Sorry to hijack your post op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Exactly. I think she was looking for a reason to cancel as she changed her mind. "
HaHa so of all the reasons for not meeting someone she said I'm not meeting you your black, way to go.
So she was just letting them down gently was she???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But by definition anybody that rejects someone purely on their sex is sexist ?
Unfortunately there are racist people in this world, it's not perfect , but everyone has the right to choose who/what they wish to have sex with without hateful words being applied. ( and racism has to be one of those words ) unless we know the person who did the rejecting and her reasons behind it why fuel the hate?
So you want people to air their racist views but not be called out on it?
Ahhh bless don't hurt the poor racists feelings by calling them a racist...
Oh dear.
. The Oxford English Dictionary defines racism as the “belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races” and the expression of such prejudice.
So how is choosing to only sleep with "white" or "black" guys or girls racist?
Sorry to hijack your post op "
Because she rejected them because the OP is of mixed race. She judged him by his race. He was not suitable for a meet because of his race.
She was happy to meet them after seeing pictures of them and speaking to them on the phone.
She then asked what race he was.
She then cancelled the meet and told him it was because he is of mixed race by telling him she only meets white people.
You can quote the dictionary but you don't seem to understand what it is saying.
Look up racism on wikipedia for more than a short definition of racism.
She has based her judgement on his race after accepting the images and conversation as acceptable.
You can try and justify it by saying she is not attracted to black,brown whatever he is, why then did she accept a meet based on photographs and talking on the phone but reject it when told of his racial background... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But by definition anybody that rejects someone purely on their sex is sexist ?
Unfortunately there are racist people in this world, it's not perfect , but everyone has the right to choose who/what they wish to have sex with without hateful words being applied. ( and racism has to be one of those words ) unless we know the person who did the rejecting and her reasons behind it why fuel the hate? "
Sexism doesn't equate here. If I'm heterosexual and claim to be but never have sex with women because I don't find them attractive means I'm a deluded man who's clearly repressing my sexuality. If I will sleep women but not Asians or blacks due to their race then I'm afraid that's racism. If I categorise people by race for my dislikes and preferences then don't be
Surprised when you're categorised as a racist. The problem is that people dress up their preferences with language quite frequently. This is another example. If you find that uncomfortable then imagine how it feels to be told that you're attractive and we want to meet but I don't like you because of where your parents were born: |
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"Looking at your pics, im surprised!
What prompted her to ask what race??
Your the least looking mixed race guy iv ever seen and im assuming, as you spoke on phone, that there is no accent??
"
Lol "... least looking mixed race guy iv ever seen. ." What does that mean? And why would you think there was a possibility he may have an accent? Because he's part Jamaican? Oh dear oh dear lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sexism equally equates when talking about a persons preference, if someone chooses to sleep with a particular group of people and excludes others for whatever reason that's their choice too many people throw words around without choosing those words carefully, words have power and they can also loose that power if used in the wrong context. I'm uncomfortable with people always using the words like racist when someone doesn't like what they choose it degrades the impact these words have. And the Wikipedia meaning I have read and re read it never states someone is racist if they choose to only sleep with white or coloured skin people (although it does argue if in fact we can be racist at all, as we're all one race) now as I'm finally busy at work I will leave you to argue it out op all I can say is count it as a close call, if she isn't open minded then you wouldn't have had fun anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sexism equally equates when talking about a persons preference, if someone chooses to sleep with a particular group of people and excludes others for whatever reason that's their choice too many people throw words around without choosing those words carefully, words have power and they can also loose that power if used in the wrong context. I'm uncomfortable with people always using the words like racist when someone doesn't like what they choose it degrades the impact these words have. And the Wikipedia meaning I have read and re read it never states someone is racist if they choose to only sleep with white or coloured skin people (although it does argue if in fact we can be racist at all, as we're all one race) now as I'm finally busy at work I will leave you to argue it out op all I can say is count it as a close call, if she isn't open minded then you wouldn't have had fun anyway "
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"
Lol "... least looking mixed race guy iv ever seen. ." What does that mean? And why would you think there was a possibility he may have an accent? Because he's part Jamaican? Oh dear oh dear lol"
It means he is the least looking mixed race guy I have seen!...Im sorry if that statement wasnt clear enough for you!
And I assumed NO accent....
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Lol "... least looking mixed race guy iv ever seen. ." What does that mean? And why would you think there was a possibility he may have an accent? Because he's part Jamaican? Oh dear oh dear lol
It means he is the least looking mixed race guy I have seen!...Im sorry if that statement wasnt clear enough for you!
And I assumed NO accent....
"
Think you need to work on your phraseology
Still can't think why you'd bring up his accent unless you think his Jamaican blood would automatically make him speak patois |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kinda disagree with all this, I have black family, so I'm not racist, but I choose not to sleep with black/Asian/mixed race anything because I'm not attracted to them personally, in fact I don't look for attraction in meets anyway, but besides the point, surly it's choice who and what you sleep with, what is it called when I get told I'm ugly and to skinny?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sexism equally equates when talking about a persons preference, if someone chooses to sleep with a particular group of people and excludes others for whatever reason that's their choice too many people throw words around without choosing those words carefully, words have power and they can also loose that power if used in the wrong context. I'm uncomfortable with people always using the words like racist when someone doesn't like what they choose it degrades the impact these words have. And the Wikipedia meaning I have read and re read it never states someone is racist if they choose to only sleep with white or coloured skin people (although it does argue if in fact we can be racist at all, as we're all one race) now as I'm finally busy at work I will leave you to argue it out op all I can say is count it as a close call, if she isn't open minded then you wouldn't have had fun anyway "
I can see what you're saying and agree to an extent. However in this case I'm not sure I agree. If she just said she wasn't going to meet him that's fine, but saying its because of who he is then that's making much more of a generic statement which then ascribes the "ism" to it. The one thing on which we absolutely agree is that he has had a close call! Imaging if he'd turned up and she'd had the same conversation! |
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