FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I thought I was just being a mum
I thought I was just being a mum
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.
After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.
It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.
Am I over the top?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
not ott, tell them to fuck off, you are what you are and don't change it for anything, I would call it being in the right place if that's how you want to spend your time.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nope I don't think you are. I take it she doesn't work till 10 every night? So you will have time to do daughter/mum stuff as well as going out on the nights she doesn't, making it a balance. Our children are not at home forever and quality time gets more difficult when they are older. True friends understand this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No, they never stop being your baby, does this friend have kids of a similar age?
Yes but boys and he's male "
I think he'd understand more if he had girls himself. I think you're right to be annoyed and he's been a bit insensitive x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Typical knee jerk reaction when a bloke doesn't get his own way. Calling us irrational/daft etc.
I think it's a lovely thing to do. I try and see my mum every day as we don't live together but not far away just for a natter. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
"One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.
After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.
It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.
Am I over the top??"
Not OTT. Your choice. Does kinda depend on the age of your daughter and whether she appreciates it or feels you are keeping an eye on her behaviour and checking up she is not out all hours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One of my girls does shift work and when on lates doesn't get home till 10ish, I prefer to be here at home when she gets home, have her dinner ready and chat about her day.
After being asked to go out (not off here) I've declined cause I just want to stay home relax and be home for my daughter. The person has thought it was hilarious and said I treat her like a school kid, I said its how I am.
It's my choice to do this and they've really took the piss so now I'm really annoyed.
Am I over the top??"
its sweet x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.
My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.
My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."
My 21 year old daughter moving back in with me ...so understand where you coming from ...she has health issues been medical advised to cut down her hours at work ....no matter how old my children are I'm their mum first and anything else gets put behind them ....So don't feel guilty or pressured for them been your first priority |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.
My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."
So you're just being a loving, caring , Mum 
Simples  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
agree shows your a caring mum im the same even meet mine off a late train to save walking up a dark rd on own no matter how old our childern get we still worry about them after all we were there age once and god knows what we got up too lol
keep up the good work tease xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I think you are a fantastic mum!! Keep up the good work
Mine are still quite young but I see them every day even though I don't live with them. Yes it means free time is non existent at the moment but when they are older I will get my life back. If someone doesn't get that then they get left behind on the scrap heap as I move forward with my genuine friends  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Typical knee jerk reaction when a bloke doesn't get his own way. Calling us irrational/daft etc.
I think it's a lovely thing to do. I try and see my mum every day as we don't live together but not far away just for a natter. X"
In general, I think men have a different communication criteria than women. A phone call between mum and daughter can last hours, but one between father and son can be completed within 60 seconds with all necessary information being exchanged. "You alright?", "yeah I'm alright, you alright?", "yeah I'm alright - everyone there alright?", "yeah, we're alright". "Ok, bye then", "yeah bye". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd be really upset if someone went for that angle withmy Mum....I would never take advantage, but my Mum is the best thing that happened to me....apart from Dad....so its the same for him
However, even at my age, my old dears would never expect anything less than respect for their family xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you , makes me feel better about myself now.
My daughter is 20 and has recentlyoved back home after having her own independence for 15 months, she does suffer with moods swings and mild depression too, so all the more reason for me to do this. She's on lates every other week."
if it makes you happy and makes her happy then good for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had a falling out with a male friend as he said I fretted too much over my daughter (then 20) as I couldn't sleep til she got home.
The irony is he couldn't sleep until his cats got home. When I pointed this out he said his cats could be harmed or killed by foxes: unlike the two legged predators that could attack my child!  
Now she drives and has a boyfriend I don't worry, but her dad does. He lives in Peckham and will always phone me to say Pookie has just left get her to phone me when she gets home...we live four miles away: a 10 minute drive! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Men come and go but family are forever you put her first and I would have too x you're a good mum even if she is not a baby x If he really like you he will understand. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
our youngest is 22, and I wont sleep properly if she is out..
wont even have a beer in case she needs picking up..
when she was at Uni you don't know when they're out late..
when home you think differently..
OP, that your 'friend' cant see that says a lot about them..
not you.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
But, how old is she ? When will she have some independence in her life ? Would it be any better just to phone you when she gets home and says she's all right ?
Please, no criticism intended here, just feel the need to know a few more facts 
