FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fuck Buddy, The Rules.
Fuck Buddy, The Rules.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people? |
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Yeah of course it is...
I've been on the receiving end of a playmate deciding that he didn't want me (or him) to meet other people... He didn't quite get that, to me, that's a relationship and not casual fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds like you are falling for this person and so a chat would be needed to see of they feel the same. You might be pleasantly surprised. "
I find that idea quite terrifying!!! but hugs for your reply x |
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It can be a mix of emotions at times..esp if like me you hang out,have a laugh,sleep over etc..
and there is no doubt the more you see someone you do get very close to them..
only thing you can do is talk to them as you would with any friend...just be honest about how your feeling  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be a mix of emotions at times..esp if like me you hang out,have a laugh,sleep over etc..
and there is no doubt the more you see someone you do get very close to them..
only thing you can do is talk to them as you would with any friend...just be honest about how your feeling "
Yes, thats so spot on, you do get close and maybe you dont want a fully fledged thing with them but them meeting others or actually myself meeting others is just not feeling good, ggrrr!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My FWB dosnt meet others. If he did it wouldn't be a problem though because I do  "
Why does he not meet others and is he cool with you seeing others? If you dont mind me asking  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!!"
Oh, I dont think either of us want a GF/BF thing and what if i talk about it and come across as being all girly and pathetic, I am supposed to be super cool you know lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they are a fuck buddy then it's ok for them to meet others, unless you have 'the talk' and want to meet just exclusively... But there is another choice where you fuck as a couple and meet others together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My FWB dosnt meet others. If he did it wouldn't be a problem though because I do "
Same as mine then, spend weekends and time off together and he sends me off to clubs and meets as the sex is better when I come back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they are a fuck buddy then it's ok for them to meet others, unless you have 'the talk' and want to meet just exclusively... But there is another choice where you fuck as a couple and meet others together. "
Lady, what the hell is 'The talk' lol.
Ah you girls are great, thanks for this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be honest with yourself and live in the now, not the past and not the future.
What you think or feel right now is all that really matters for you, what others think is irrelevant. |
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"If they are a fuck buddy then it's ok for them to meet others, unless you have 'the talk' and want to meet just exclusively... But there is another choice where you fuck as a couple and meet others together.
Lady, what the hell is 'The talk' lol.
Ah you girls are great, thanks for this x"
When you say how you feel about them... |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people?"
I would expect my fb to see others - otherwise it's a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!!
Oh, I dont think either of us want a GF/BF thing and what if i talk about it and come across as being all girly and pathetic, I am supposed to be super cool you know lol "
There is nothing wrong with talking about it all!
I don't know how long you have been meeting each other but over time you do get close, and i know from my side i think a lot of my FB - but i choose to only do meets with him and thats my choice. He wants to and does meet others alone - again thats his choice and we both knew this from the start and things haven't changed for us
Have a good chat with them if your not happy about something or not sure where you stand just make it known - if he doesn't like it he can (basically) do one! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!!
Oh, I dont think either of us want a GF/BF thing and what if i talk about it and come across as being all girly and pathetic, I am supposed to be super cool you know lol
There is nothing wrong with talking about it all!
I don't know how long you have been meeting each other but over time you do get close, and i know from my side i think a lot of my FB - but i choose to only do meets with him and thats my choice. He wants to and does meet others alone - again thats his choice and we both knew this from the start and things haven't changed for us
Have a good chat with them if your not happy about something or not sure where you stand just make it known - if he doesn't like it he can (basically) do one!"
So how are you when you know he is on a meet?
Thank you btw for your advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!!
Oh, I dont think either of us want a GF/BF thing and what if i talk about it and come across as being all girly and pathetic, I am supposed to be super cool you know lol
There is nothing wrong with talking about it all!
I don't know how long you have been meeting each other but over time you do get close, and i know from my side i think a lot of my FB - but i choose to only do meets with him and thats my choice. He wants to and does meet others alone - again thats his choice and we both knew this from the start and things haven't changed for us
Have a good chat with them if your not happy about something or not sure where you stand just make it known - if he doesn't like it he can (basically) do one!
So how are you when you know he is on a meet?
Thank you btw for your advice "
Pm me if you want to chat - i'm outside your age range |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find I can get competitive when my regular guy is meeting others ... It turns me on so much though... I can get to turned on at times and then get overly frustrated.
I have been known to be disappointed when I wait to hear the details and it wasn't that great.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with Evie that you should talk to them - but if you agreed in the beginning it was a FB 'relationship' where you met for casual fun together now and then, then i'd assume the situation hadn't changed on their part - unless you had any reason to believe it has!
It wouldn't hurt to talk to each other now and then about where you both stand with what is going on
But if it becomes a case of neither wants to see anyone else then i'd class that as becoming a BF/GF relationship!!
Oh, I dont think either of us want a GF/BF thing and what if i talk about it and come across as being all girly and pathetic, I am supposed to be super cool you know lol
There is nothing wrong with talking about it all!
I don't know how long you have been meeting each other but over time you do get close, and i know from my side i think a lot of my FB - but i choose to only do meets with him and thats my choice. He wants to and does meet others alone - again thats his choice and we both knew this from the start and things haven't changed for us
Have a good chat with them if your not happy about something or not sure where you stand just make it known - if he doesn't like it he can (basically) do one!
So how are you when you know he is on a meet?
Thank you btw for your advice
Pm me if you want to chat - i'm outside your age range"
sent you a pm x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My FWB dosnt meet others. If he did it wouldn't be a problem though because I do
Why does he not meet others and is he cool with you seeing others? If you dont mind me asking "
He's not on any of these sites and is quite happy to just be FWB with me for now. As for me seeing others he is cool with that. After all we are just best friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i don't agree that if you don't meet others alone its a relationship..you can still b fb's..
"
I'd be expecting a relationship to still play alone if it suited us lol x
I have rarely recently met without my fuck buddy... That's my choice. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My FWB dosnt meet others. If he did it wouldn't be a problem though because I do
Why does he not meet others and is he cool with you seeing others? If you dont mind me asking
He's not on any of these sites and is quite happy to just be FWB with me for now. As for me seeing others he is cool with that. After all we are just best friends "
OH, Your so lucky, sounds like a very special friendship xx |
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"i don't agree that if you don't meet others alone its a relationship..you can still b fb's..
I'd be expecting a relationship to still play alone if it suited us lol x
I have rarely recently met without my fuck buddy... That's my choice. X"
exactly..there are no set rules..its something you have to figure out between the 2 of u x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x"
Have you told him? What happened?
Hope you dont mind me asking xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Have you told him? What happened?
Hope you dont mind me asking xx"
I told him, he already knew!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had this discussion the other day about the relationship word. It does not mean commitment or monogamy.. "
A relationship without commitment or monogamy, sounds like a new kind of relationship I am not familiar with lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Have you told him? What happened?
Hope you dont mind me asking xxI told him, he already knew!!!"
AND??? Then what? Did he feel the same? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
it happens... Just try not to let it cause bother. "
This is where we disagree, it's happened, so what, be honest and let it cause bother if it does. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Ouch!! Been there still hurts like hell  "
Oh hugs big girl. Maybe its a thought to maybe stop seeing our fuck bud's if we realise your getting feelings for them.
Hope your ok, hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Have you told him? What happened?
Hope you dont mind me asking xxI told him, he already knew!!!
AND??? Then what? Did he feel the same?"
yes he feels the same way, which I already knw!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
it happens... Just try not to let it cause bother.
This is where we disagree, it's happened, so what, be honest and let it cause bother if it does. "
by bother I mean grief.. I'm honest always.. but sometimes it can mean issues arise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Have you told him? What happened?
Hope you dont mind me asking xxI told him, he already knew!!!
AND??? Then what? Did he feel the same?yes he feels the same way, which I already knw!!!! "
Oh WOW, I am thrilled for you both. Very cute xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had this discussion the other day about the relationship word. It does not mean commitment or monogamy..
A relationship without commitment or monogamy, sounds like a new kind of relationship I am not familiar with lol x"
I think every relationship has commitments.. even friendships... But what and how much is always individual..however monogamy isn't required in all relationships..I think trust and honesty are the key and communication.
I'm guilty myself of not communicating and going off all upset because I've thought something.. where as if I had stayed calm and waited and asked I could have saved myself much upset and embarrassesment..
hindsight is great lol |
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
Ouch!! Been there still hurts like hell
Oh hugs big girl. Maybe its a thought to maybe stop seeing our fuck bud's if we realise your getting feelings for them.
Hope your ok, hugs x "
Thanks Hun I'm definitely getting there. I think it was worse because he actually felt the same and wanted more than fb although we both knew it couldn't happen
I'd say if there's any chance of taking things further go for it but if not get out now before you get hurt xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
it happens... Just try not to let it cause bother.
This is where we disagree, it's happened, so what, be honest and let it cause bother if it does.
by bother I mean grief.. I'm honest always.. but sometimes it can mean issues arise. "
Like what? You find out he doesn't feel the same? Isn't it better for you to know where you are in his pecking order? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fallen for my fb, hook line and sinker!!! Which is against the rules but it's a bit late now x
it happens... Just try not to let it cause bother.
This is where we disagree, it's happened, so what, be honest and let it cause bother if it does.
by bother I mean grief.. I'm honest always.. but sometimes it can mean issues arise.
Like what? You find out he doesn't feel the same? Isn't it better for you to know where you are in his pecking order?"
no I mean that sometimes feelings cause people to react differently. I would always want to know where I stand.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Totally awesome advice and input from all of you fab girls, Its a complicated one as how can you not develop feelings for someone you spend time with and are very intimate with.
I take on board all of your advice, from being cool, to cautious, to learning to talk about my feelings etc. To know the right time to pull the plug, to avoid being hurt. To enjoy the good times while they are here.
And who said swinging was uncomplicated?
Huge hugs to all of you. Adele x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i don't agree that if you don't meet others alone its a relationship..you can still b fb's..
"
I did say if 'neither wants to see anyone else' (by choice and only meet with each other doing no other kinds of meets together/alone) 'then I'D class that as BECOMING a bf/gf relationship' (not that it was a definite if you didnt see anyone - in my eyes i'd see it as heading that way)
Just wanted to clarify that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My FWB dosnt meet others. If he did it wouldn't be a problem though because I do
Why does he not meet others and is he cool with you seeing others? If you dont mind me asking
He's not on any of these sites and is quite happy to just be FWB with me for now. As for me seeing others he is cool with that. After all we are just best friends
OH, Your so lucky, sounds like a very special friendship xx"
Thank you! I love him to bits but not in love with him if you know what mean. He's there for me, like I am for him x |
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i think you have to stay centred on what you want and learn by each f b along the way. i got a terrible crush on my first fb , got in an awkwar d commitment withy second ...hope not to make similar mistakes with my third . but im making my rules up as i go honesty and trust and respect and recognise and avoi dpast pitfalls |
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"Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people?"
of cause its OK, why just stick to one person its a swingers site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me, being exclusive, only playing as a cpl or having to ask permission to meet others is relationship territory.
I like to have a group of friends with benefits, I enjoy my time with them but im free to do what I want, when I want with who I want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people?"
if your not in a relationship I cant see how you can stop them really, they are single so can do what they like surely |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
FWB is a complicated relationship.
It raises so many questions which should be addressed before you commit in my opinion.
Do you have more than one?
If you want to meet do you ask each other first?
Do you tell each other every time you meet with someone else?
Do you go into details about what happens on a meet?
Do you meet others as a couple?
How often do you keep in contact?
It's a minefield if you ask me.
I would rather just see a few men and when I am ready have a relationship, where no other parties are involved.
But good luck to you all who have successful fwb.
Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Look at what you want out of this situation. Do you want to meet him regularly, do you want to meet others. Does he want to meet others and is he ok about you.
I personally feel as long as you are both honest with each other about how you play then all is good. He doesnt need to tell you who he is meeting, but it would be good manners to inform you he is meeting others so you can ensure you always practice safe sex if that is important to you. Similarly if both of you go to clubs together, if he is wanting to take someone else out to clubs then you have a right to know and thereby sort out your own social life.
If you both meet others then neither of you can be demanding of the others time, but I do think its good manners to inform each other whether the swinging will be an exclusive thing.
FBs dont necessarily have to be boyfriend and girlfriend if they only swing together. It literally could be getting together to share the swinging scene, but I do think that each should know the basis of the others' situation |
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Some good advice...
My experience with FB is that the more honest and open you are from the start and set boundaries you are happy with then the smoother the sailing.
Worst was someone I met in a club, started off as a promising romance just became a cold booty call for him, with me still holding out for more. Never again.
Best was a guy again I met in a social setting but was totally honest about what he wanted, suited me too and we both had great sex about once a week but were free to see others but never really discussed it. Just had hot NSA regularly, relaxed and fun.
It can be a minefield but can also be great fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's ok for them to meet others.. But if you feel that it would cause issues between the two of you they you need to have a chat with him and see where you go from there... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that if your fb then you or them should be able to see others I do however think that neither party should rub the other persons nose in it but if strong feelings start to take over and you find yourself falling for them you both need to talk to see where you stand but rules do need to be set out . |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I encourage my FB to meet other women as I am concerned that he doesn't get out much. I shouldn't be his one stop shop for all things sexual, and I don't want him to become too attached. However I hope he keeps room in his life for me, as I would be quite gutted if I never saw him again. Those are the risks you take though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This whole ' FB' thing works for some .. but you can clearly see the ones where it doesn't
There are a lot who aren't honest about they feel ... it leads to heartbreak and can become awful to watch especially when its played out in status messages and in forums and groups
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I wouldn't expect exclusivity or to share every detail with someone. I don't really understand the fb term.
I have men I meet for sex, some regularly and we have become friends. Others the sex was a one off and we have not met again or communicate as platonic friends.
I can honestly say that the only time I have felt jealousy about my regular male friends is when they have found a partner and they are no longer available to ever play with again. So many excellent men that know what works with me no longer available. Wistful emoticon needed here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my bloke have a couples profile. We both still meet other people and sometimes tell each other and sometimes not. I don't know if we are fb's or fwb's or what. It doesn't matter to me, I'm just glad it works. I'm constantly confused by it but loving it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have several FB's - probs around 10 regular at once - I make it clear they are like one boyfriend but made up of several different parts and there is defo no commitment either way ..... I tell them they are like my little foster children - I adore them when I have them but they WILL be going back xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people?"
if u even have to ask tht q then u obviously have feelings for thsi person! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your in a good position, for me I have tried relationships and for me they just don't work. The perfect scenario for me is to meet a FB on here, even make a couples profile so extra fun. If feelings develop then we will talk, but we both understand this life |
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"Guys, hi.
If you have met someone you like, chill with, have great sex with and see regularly is it cool for him or her to go and meet others?
How does everyone feel about their regular swinging partner meeting other people?"
I feel very chilled about it...I encourage it and want him to have a lot of fun....absolutetly!! |
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"I encourage my FB to meet other women as I am concerned that he doesn't get out much. I shouldn't be his one stop shop for all things sexual, and I don't want him to become too attached. However I hope he keeps room in his life for me, as I would be quite gutted if I never saw him again. Those are the risks you take though."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its however you define it. .. but I think looking for more in a place like this is heartache waiting to happen.. just my opinion. "
Well said
A fuck bud is exactly that, sumone who u just fuck. It aint a relationship and if i had one it wldnt bother me in the slightest if they shagged other ppl |
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