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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Should they have rights to know and access their birth grandparents and other family. Or should it be left to the adopted person to call all the shots? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't ever wanted to contact my parents but have a great desire to know my grandparents and extended family. They are part of a history I won't ever know and hold the key to my past my heritage |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The child is 13 and does not know the parent is adopted so assumes the grandparents to be birth grandparents. My worry is the child will find out and be angry at being lied to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We see the tv show long lost families I just think they are the fairy tales of this....in a lot of circumstances it is heart ache..."
That show has made me think if the child is kept in the dark for too long they may never get to meet their birth family... |
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"The child is 13 and does not know the parent is adopted so assumes the grandparents to be birth grandparents. My worry is the child will find out and be angry at being lied to. "
It's up to the parent to find the right time/age to explain and to them their parents are their parents and not the one that gave them up at birth...so the grand parents are the child's grandparents  |
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"The child is 13 and does not know the parent is adopted so assumes the grandparents to be birth grandparents. My worry is the child will find out and be angry at being lied to. "
thats true but we have always been honest, but in reality it doesnt really matter, and this is something ive agonised over for 30 years or more, nurture is way more important than nature, if you see them as grandparents then they are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"however honesty is key, and the younger they know the better"
That's what I'd hoped for and indeed what the adopted person experienced. I imagine if you find out things like this as a teenager or older you'd feel a bit ....not sure what word is best, but betrayed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, I've never really given this much thought but maybe I should. My husband is adopted but has never wanted to contact his biological father (he did find his mother years ago but she died). It's never occurred to me that our kids might want to find him. I don't think they even realise that their dad was adopted but maybe that's a conversation we need to have.
I can understand why the kids might want to know their biological grandparents but this could be a really damaging process within the family if the adopted person didn't want to know. It's also worth considering that a lot of biological parents don't want to know either so as a previous poster said, these fairytale stories are often a long way from the reality. |
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By *d_deeTV/TS
over a year ago
cheshire |
I've known I was adopted since a very early age and never had any desire to find my real parent. My Mum(RIP) and Dad have been so good to me I have never seen any reason to. Every woman I have been with has wanted to search for me but as a lad on that programme last week said, It feels like betrayal. My daughter doesn't care either, but then again she doesn't care about anything |
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