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Anal etiquette!!!!
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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????
Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol
Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!
Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spit on the hole and bang it in nuts deep. Wipe any mess on the duvet or curtains  "
You forgot the 3 second warning by shouting 'Brace Brace Brace' followed by 'Ramming Speed!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will always shout CHARGE!!! before I take my run up.
Does this count as etiquette?"
Only a problem if the rest of the light brigade are in the queue too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.
Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up?
Ahh that's what sploshing is !"
So what's Spelunking then?
 |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Hmmm I should have included welly boots in my fab tool kit pic.
Waders would be better don't you think? Wouldn't wellies fill up?
Ahh that's what sploshing is !
So what's Spelunking then?
"
I think it's basically the same, except you wear a helmet with a torch fixed on the front. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm so glad I haven't got told off for this post lol it's a genuine curiosity I thought I'd throw to the forum to chew on!!!"
i have shower attachment for cleaning a few hours before hand
but most sex toys sites do douche kits there were some good post a few years ago on it all |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you 
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick 
but I've had sweet corn "
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick
but I've had sweet corn
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye? "
No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!
Stupid man |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick
but I've had sweet corn
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?
No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!
Stupid man "
Would you like a lesson? |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick
but I've had sweet corn
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?
No I don't know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye because I don't bloody have a japs eye !!
Stupid man
Would you like a lesson?
Errr hmmmmmm , can I phone a friend  "
I'm not offering a free service to all your mates dirty bums  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick
but I've had sweet corn
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye? "
He Knows : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m4mykKnGjw
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY! 
Smooth
Hmmmm might have to re-think about u lol"
What I ment to say was, be relaxed, use lube and ease in gently. Stupid auto correct |
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By *irtyDee33 OP Woman
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
"BITE THE PILLOW! I'M GOING IN DRY!
Smooth
Hmmmm might have to re-think about u lol
What I ment to say was, be relaxed, use lube and ease in gently. Stupid auto correct"
Haha nah you've done it now |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Oh ffs trust you
Touch ya toes Moody, and bite on this stick
but I've had sweet corn
Ewwww you just had to lower the tone. It was a polite respectful thread up until this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to extract sweet corn from a japs eye?
He Knows : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m4mykKnGjw
"
It's made him a little off colour  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread is making me hungry.
When you didn't think it could get any lower
Is a straw or fork required?? "
or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread is making me hungry.
When you didn't think it could get any lower
Is a straw or fork required??
or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets "
I suppose hands would be as good as anything? |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"This thread is making me hungry.
When you didn't think it could get any lower
Is a straw or fork required??
or a spoon... maybe chop sticks for stiff nuggets
I suppose hands would be as good as anything? "
I bet you're the type that uses bread to mop his meal up with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only a problem if it starts splashing out with each thrust.
Hahaha! splatter guard needed! "
In welding terms that might be called a Splashback arrestor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You lot are priceless!
You could always use a condom... "
Just wondering...
After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.
In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc? |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
You lot are priceless!
You could always use a condom...
Just wondering...
After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.
In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc? "
If you go by Letsbehavingyous thread the other day. You leave it on the floor for someone to go arse over tit. That's when the shit really hits the fan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a sensible note - that's what wipes are for.
Love my anal fun.
 "
Ah.. obvious realy.
Wipes are not something we use at home and not been to a club yet. It was a thought that came to me in a 'daydream' the other day. |
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By *msmithWoman
over a year ago
bristol |
I only do anal with someone I'm comfortable with. Always douche before if I know he's going there. But nowadays, he usually does it unexpectedly that I wouldn't know to wash before.. Etiquette-wise, the guy will go wash/change condom before re-entering vagina..  |
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"
You lot are priceless!
You could always use a condom...
Just wondering...
After you have used a condom and then have a condom that is grim on the outside and possibly full on the inside.
In clubs would you sort that out then leave the action for a short while to dispose of the dead codom and wash hands etc? "
I didn't think about it in that much depth if I'm honest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump? "
Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?
Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls "
Did they sell the dodgy tea sets as well? 11 mugs but no cups |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst we are on the subject. Scented bog rolls ! What are they all about? Who on earth would want to sniff your bum after having a dump?
Went to spurs game last year and the stall outside was selling arsenal printed big rolls
Did they sell the dodgy tea sets as well? 11 mugs but no cups "
And managed by the Arse-venger - there you go got the thread back on track with arse action rheme |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only do anal with someone I'm comfortable with. Always douche before if I know he's going there. But nowadays, he usually does it unexpectedly that I wouldn't know to wash before.. Etiquette-wise, the guy will go wash/change condom before re-entering vagina.. "
spot on advice for changing condoms....everyone knows that you cant play in the paddling pool after being in the sand pit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This actually happened to me once. Was giving anal to a lady and all of a sudden got that smell that something isn't quite right and the feeling of warmth increased too...needless to say, things were a bit messy down there !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only do anal with someone I'm comfortable with. Always douche before if I know he's going there. But nowadays, he usually does it unexpectedly that I wouldn't know to wash before.. Etiquette-wise, the guy will go wash/change condom before re-entering vagina..
spot on advice for changing condoms....everyone knows that you cant play in the paddling pool after being in the sand pit "
AKA playing with jack after you've been round Gary's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????
Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol
Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!
Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!"
I have to agree if you go turd burgling you have a petty good chance of squewering a nugget at some point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????
Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol
Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!
Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!
I have to agree if you go turd burgling you have a petty good chance of squewering a nugget at some point. "
Turd burgling!
Love this  |
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"I just wanted to find out what guys expect when they want to enter someone's bum????
Now I am a clean person, like many of us here but sometimes guys must expect if they are going to put there cock in a place where bodily waste comes out that u might occasionally get some on it!! Lol
Sorry if your eating your tea but just wanted some opinions on this!!!!
Not intending to cause offense at all, just curious!!"
If you want a sensible answer now all the jokes have been wrung out of it - it's pretty much as you describe in your question: (speaking for myself anyway) if anal is on the menu then I would hope and expect to find an empty parking space. However, as you said, waste goes with the territory so I think it is crucial not to be a pussy about it if it does happen, just laugh it off, clean up and carry on. If a guy can't handle the heat he should stay out of the kitchen.
I once read about a porn 'star' who in mid arse-fuck was the recipient of an unplanned arse-volcano and ran from the room puking, his career at a premature and hilarious end. Pussy should've been an accountant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I really want to write something witty but the boys have already lowered the tone!
I have anal enemas that I buy from the states online if I know it might be on the cards I can use the evening /morning before. Then im not worrying and can relax. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nearly herked once having been invited to drill a sweet sexy ladies Marmite mine.
After I came I pulled out and there was sweet corn on me chap!"
You needed the crochet hook |
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