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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Firstly I want to apologise for the " it's so unfair" thread I did put up a rant about cancer then thought better of it....
But a fellow forum user has changed my mind.... So here goes?
Luke's mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer today, after suffering "IBS" for just after a year and her GP not taking matters any further she was taken to hospital last week with kidney pain, scans on her kidneys found scarring... They decided to do a endoscopy today and that's when they found it.
She is only 59, doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy and goes regularly to the gym.
I know that there are some of that have been through similar,
So how do we help her cope whilst trying to cope ourselves?
What can we expect?
Any advise is greatly welcomed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is she being offered treatment? "
We aren't sure yet ruby, we all only found out today, I think they want to try and operate maybe next week if that's viable... It's really early days yet and we all kinda of feel we are in the dark, they are going to assign her a McMillan nurse ASAP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly you don't need to apologise for deleting your threat! Secondly Sorry to hear your news. Dealing with cancer in your family is never easy and I speak from experience although not the same kind of cancer. You'll find a way to cope and to stay strong for her. Take care x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is she being offered treatment?
We aren't sure yet ruby, we all only found out today, I think they want to try and operate maybe next week if that's viable... It's really early days yet and we all kinda of feel we are in the dark, they are going to assign her a McMillan nurse ASAP "
MacMillan nurses are fantastic. They will also be able to provide support for the family too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure about that particular cancer but cancer is treated in quite a variery of ways these days.
My father got diagnosed with bladder cancer a few years ago, it was quite a shock when I found out and I lived reasonably far away at the time.
He ended up having a series of BCG injections(!) for a few years and he's OK now.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure about that particular cancer but cancer is treated in quite a variery of ways these days.
My father got diagnosed with bladder cancer a few years ago, it was quite a shock when I found out and I lived reasonably far away at the time.
He ended up having a series of BCG injections(!) for a few years and he's OK now.
"
Yes we live a fair distant away from mum... And so glad your dad is ok now |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
glad to see you decided to take the bold step.....xxxxx
as someone else had said macmillan nurses are fantastic, and dont be afraid to ask them anything with regards to what treatment she will have and any support that is there for the family..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having had recent test myself for this, enless colonscopys in just a few short months, I really feel for your partners mother. My sister has just recently had her bowel removed and her son whos only 23 is due to have his removed next month. Things do get better, and good treatment and supprt helps.
It's not a good time for you right now and sorry to hear that. I know I don't know you personally, but just wanted to pass on good thoughts to you! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As has already been said, the nurses are good, will answer all your questions and remember no question is difficult or wrong for them, they have been asked it all before. Don't spend your whole weekend driving yourselves crazy with what if's, as hard as this will be not to. Spend some time just being a family and planning good things to do. My best wishes to you all xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont drink, dont smoke, dont do drugs, eat healthy, exercise and was diagnosed with colitis 2yrs ago. Waiting for appointment to have tests on my liver as i recently went yellow eyed for a few days.
They upped my regular blood tests to every 3months now to check for cancers. Just feels like a waiting game and thats why im saving my money to go on trip around the world before i do get worse. |
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Cancer is a bitch. And it really isn't fair. I was diagnosed with early cervical cancer a year ago and was lucky to just need the effected area removing. Have just found out after a checkup that things are still not right and I am waiting to find out what's next.
I'm not looking for sympathy or to take any attention away from the OP. Just wanted to say, in terms of what you can do.... I found it hard when my mum constantly asked if I was ok or if I'd heard anything, several times a day, I felt like I made her sad. I also felt guilty because my sister had leukemia when she was younger (early teens) and that pretty much dominated years of all our lives and it seemed so unfair for my mum to be faced with her other child being ill too.
I'd say.... maybe just try and ask what you can do. Find out if she needs space or if she wants to be surrounded by loved ones. And look after each other too xxx best of luck to you all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't offer any advice on this. I'm one of the lucky ones - there is no history of cancer in my family (heart attacks, yes...) and I've only come across a very few people who have had non-threatening cancers.
All I can say is ... you post all the 'It's so unfair' threads you like - because it IS unfair.
Ruby and I send you our best wishes and hope for Luke's Mum
 and  xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Lucy and Luke, no need to apologise. Get information from Beating Bowel Cancer or Bowel Cancer UK and not Wiki or other scary sites. Get informed and then you'll be better prepared.
A very good friend of mine was diagnosed a couple of years ago at 61. He and the family went through a tough time for a few months but there was no messing with the treatment. A year after the op he was back to his wonderful self and at 18 months he is fitter and healthier than he has ever been.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lucy and Luke, no need to apologise. Get information from Beating Bowel Cancer or Bowel Cancer UK and not Wiki or other scary sites. Get informed and then you'll be better prepared.
A very good friend of mine was diagnosed a couple of years ago at 61. He and the family went through a tough time for a few months but there was no messing with the treatment. A year after the op he was back to his wonderful self and at 18 months he is fitter and healthier than he has ever been.
Good luck."
Thanks, we will take a look at that.
And pleased that your friend has made a good recovery.
It's given us some positive hope xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hello and sorry for your sad news x i lost my father in January to lung cancer so i know how scary this all can.be x first of all, there's always hope! never give up on praying for recovery. how you deal with things is impossible to say, as we all are different. the obvious direction will lead you to caring for her and naturally your own worry gets swept aside until your private moments find you thinking. make the most of your time together and i mean that in a sincere way my love x i know it may sound awful but it is meant in a sincere advice way x just try to act normal, if possible go for days out or meals etc. if it's bad news then good memories are still to.be made x i pray for you all and keep strong x god bless xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lucy and Luke, no need to apologise. Get information from Beating Bowel Cancer or Bowel Cancer UK and not Wiki or other scary sites. Get informed and then you'll be better prepared.
A very good friend of mine was diagnosed a couple of years ago at 61. He and the family went through a tough time for a few months but there was no messing with the treatment. A year after the op he was back to his wonderful self and at 18 months he is fitter and healthier than he has ever been.
Good luck."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is she being offered treatment?
We aren't sure yet ruby, we all only found out today, I think they want to try and operate maybe next week if that's viable... It's really early days yet and we all kinda of feel we are in the dark, they are going to assign her a McMillan nurse ASAP
MacMillan nurses are fantastic. They will also be able to provide support for the family too. "
They truely are angels and will be a tremendous support for u in the tough times to come.
Keep ur thoughts strong and positive as best u can and help each other when things aren't so good and don't be afraid to share ur feelings whatever they are. Chances are that those around u feel the same.
Good luck and god bless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a horrible disease and and like you say she's a feisty fighter. There is a booklet that Macmillan hand out to family's, that I found very useful. Good luck sweetie, we are all here for you xxxx |
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sorry you are going through this and you are definately not alone,it will be very hard whatever happens from here on .anger,tears,fear,etc they are all part and parcel, the only advice i can give to you is to communicate and be honest and open about your feelings, and take nothing for granted, i sometimes think it is harder for the persons support network as you never know what to say or do for the best,i dont know about others, or the course of treatment if any that lies ahead but i had chemo and went through a spectre of emotions,but i appreciate those that supported me nowmoreso ast that time and put up with my many mood swings and tantrums just be there, be strong,and i hope its something that is minimally invasive and back to good health in no time xx |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
Rant as much as you like i lost my mum to cancer 23 yrs ago and wish i had had freinds like we have here to let off steam to
just take each day as it comes
thinking of you hugzz
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Firstly we would both like to thank everyone that has sent us private messages and texts,
Luke's mum has a large tomour in her upper bowels and will be having an operation in the next couple of weeks to try and remove it 
Once again thank you so much for all the support that we have received.
Luke n Lucy x |
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"Firstly we would both like to thank everyone that has sent us private messages and texts,
Luke's mum has a large tomour in her upper bowels and will be having an operation in the next couple of weeks to try and remove it
Once again thank you so much for all the support that we have received.
Luke n Lucy x"
I hope the prognosis is good hun. Horrible thing to have to go thru for all involved. Have they caught it early?? X. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Firstly we would both like to thank everyone that has sent us private messages and texts,
Luke's mum has a large tomour in her upper bowels and will be having an operation in the next couple of weeks to try and remove it
Once again thank you so much for all the support that we have received.
Luke n Lucy x
I hope the prognosis is good hun. Horrible thing to have to go thru for all involved. Have they caught it early?? X. "
We won't know that until she actually has the operation.
Thanks hottie xx |
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Big hugs guys.
And remember that if she needs a colostomy for a while or for keeps the alternatives are far worse. A friend of mine had one when in her early twenties and was horrified to begin with but discovered that the practicalities were worth it for the relief her body had. |
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Firstly so very sorry to hear your news. Secondly in 2011 we lost 3 members of my very close family to cancer within 9 months of each other. Dad being one of them. All my training went out the window I went into overdrive.
Marie curie nurses and mcmillan are fantastic they are there to answer all your questions. Its not an easy journey cant pretend it is , make sure you ask ask and ask more questions.does not matter how trivial they sound, take each day as it comes , make sure you both try to get your rest etc , you need a clear head to think, if it helps make notes, hope this thread does not sound like I am telling you what to do. It is not, just trying to be constructive.. please feel free to pm at anytime ... xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a little update
Luke's mum is going into hospital on Wednesday for an operation to remove the tumour, we have been told it's quite large and that she maybe in itu for a few days then kept in for a week or so, and they are planning radiotherapy afterwards. But all in all the outlook looks good.
Thank you all for your supporting messages it's really appreciated |
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I have had cancer myself, tumour removed from my spine aged 22. Before I experienced it, it just meant death to me buthere I am fit and healthy 24 years later, not in the wheelchair I was told to expect, not requiring any long term treatment. I wish her well and hope for a similarly happy outcome
Dave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was diagnosed with bowel cancer 5 years ago in my early 30's. Luckily an op to remove the tumour and a course of chemo sorted it. Depending on what op she has she should be out in a week or so. Hope all goes well and sending positive thoughts x |
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"Just a little update
Luke's mum is going into hospital on Wednesday for an operation to remove the tumour, we have been told it's quite large and that she maybe in itu for a few days then kept in for a week or so, and they are planning radiotherapy afterwards. But all in all the outlook looks good.
Thank you all for your supporting messages it's really appreciated "
Hope it all goes well and she recovers quickly. A friend of mines mum is having her breast removed on weds due to cancer. Awful disease. Hoping for a speedy recovery for them both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a little update
Luke's mum is going into hospital on Wednesday for an operation to remove the tumour, we have been told it's quite large and that she maybe in itu for a few days then kept in for a week or so, and they are planning radiotherapy afterwards. But all in all the outlook looks good.
Thank you all for your supporting messages it's really appreciated "
Best wishes folks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cancer runs in our family various areas,brain ,throat,prostate,womb also moles.after watching my loved ones deal or try to deal with cancer,im sure its ur attitude to it that wins the day.hope all goes well ,an smile every chance u get xx |
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They will either cut out some of the bowel where the cancer is and stich it back up. If they cannot do that the whole bowel will be removed and she will have a colostomy bag. Either way it is a good job they caught it in time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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having had breastcancer myself no wat she going though but did not loose my breast she and her family have to be has strong has they can be its hard its shit but sticking to together helps big hug for her and her family xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The operation went well, mum is now settling for the night in ICU, they won't know if they have managed to get it all out until the lab reports are back. And it was a smallish cut with no colostomy bag!
We would both like to thank everyone dearly for the kind messages on here and privately!
Luke & Lucy XX |
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"The operation went well, mum is now settling for the night in ICU, they won't know if they have managed to get it all out until the lab reports are back. And it was a smallish cut with no colostomy bag!
We would both like to thank everyone dearly for the kind messages on here and privately!
Luke & Lucy XX "
That is great news  |
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By *andWCouple
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
"The operation went well, mum is now settling for the night in ICU, they won't know if they have managed to get it all out until the lab reports are back. And it was a smallish cut with no colostomy bag!
We would both like to thank everyone dearly for the kind messages on here and privately!
Luke & Lucy XX "
Fantastic news, similar story here xx |
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"The operation went well, mum is now settling for the night in ICU, they won't know if they have managed to get it all out until the lab reports are back. And it was a smallish cut with no colostomy bag!
We would both like to thank everyone dearly for the kind messages on here and privately!
Luke & Lucy XX "
That's good positive news at least. My father had the same OP for the same thing two years ago - two years on he has just turned 75 and is as fit as a flea again. Am keeping my fingers crossed for you all and keeping you in my thoughts. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed |
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
I'm pleased for you and your mum x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Brilliant news
Best wishes to you all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Awe fantastic |
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Great news all steps in the right direction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Great news and i hope things progress in the right direction.
Ive dealt with the big C on numerous occassions...
My mom, 3 close aunts and 4 uncles and lastly my dearly missed sister.
Its bloody hard if im honest but i did my damnest to try and be positive every day and also project that to them.
Its all you can do.
I did my crying at home in bed and kept that from them.
I wish you all the best in this and hope you and your mom get through the tough times
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Great news indeed!!!! Really pleased for both of you.
((((((HUGS))))))
ted n ruby xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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this lady has to be has strong has she can and you could say easy for me to say but been there 7 year now me in remisin they all have to be strong my heart gos out to her and her family xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cancer seems to be everywere now does any of you guys rember any of this cancer shit when you was young or was it not taled about cos hi dont rember a lot about cancer when hi was young |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum had to have a breast removed she went to her gp 3 times with a lump....he told her it was left over lumps from mastitis after having my sister.
She got a 2nd opinion almost 10 months after and was having an op and treatment within weeks.
I hope it all goes well as it can and my thoughts are with you x |
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
This is wonderful news |
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Didn't see this yesterday! Brilliant news xxx |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"cancer seems to be everywere now does any of you guys rember any of this cancer shit when you was young or was it not taled about cos hi dont rember a lot about cancer when hi was young"
People didn't talk about cancer so much back then except in hushed tones or euphemisms.
Cancer's no longer the killer it was 20 or 30 years ago.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly I want to apologise for the " it's so unfair" thread I did put up a rant about cancer then thought better of it....
But a fellow forum user has changed my mind.... So here goes?
Luke's mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer today, after suffering "IBS" for just after a year and her GP not taking matters any further she was taken to hospital last week with kidney pain, scans on her kidneys found scarring... They decided to do a endoscopy today and that's when they found it.
She is only 59, doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy and goes regularly to the gym.
I know that there are some of that have been through similar,
So how do we help her cope whilst trying to cope ourselves?
What can we expect?
Any advise is greatly welcomed "
Whatever you do keep the lines of communication fully open. Quite often I see both patients and their families keeping quiet in order to protect the other. This very rarely works.
Positive thoughts for you all xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Firstly I want to apologise for the " it's so unfair" thread I did put up a rant about cancer then thought better of it....
But a fellow forum user has changed my mind.... So here goes?
Luke's mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer today, after suffering "IBS" for just after a year and her GP not taking matters any further she was taken to hospital last week with kidney pain, scans on her kidneys found scarring... They decided to do a endoscopy today and that's when they found it.
She is only 59, doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy and goes regularly to the gym.
I know that there are some of that have been through similar,
So how do we help her cope whilst trying to cope ourselves?
What can we expect?
Any advise is greatly welcomed
Whatever you do keep the lines of communication fully open. Quite often I see both patients and their families keeping quiet in order to protect the other. This very rarely works.
Positive thoughts for you all xx"
I find it easier to talk than Luke does
So I am keeping the communication going and talking about things he doesn't want to |
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"Firstly I want to apologise for the " it's so unfair" thread I did put up a rant about cancer then thought better of it....
But a fellow forum user has changed my mind.... So here goes?
Luke's mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer today, after suffering "IBS" for just after a year and her GP not taking matters any further she was taken to hospital last week with kidney pain, scans on her kidneys found scarring... They decided to do a endoscopy today and that's when they found it.
She is only 59, doesn't drink or smoke, eats healthy and goes regularly to the gym.
I know that there are some of that have been through similar,
So how do we help her cope whilst trying to cope ourselves?
What can we expect?
Any advise is greatly welcomed
Whatever you do keep the lines of communication fully open. Quite often I see both patients and their families keeping quiet in order to protect the other. This very rarely works.
Positive thoughts for you all xx
I find it easier to talk than Luke does
So I am keeping the communication going and talking about things he doesn't want to "
My father went though radiotherapy and came though the other side, his life changed for ever.
I brought him "the cancer survivors guide" which he found rather useful, if fact the book as done the rounds to others that has come though the other side of treatment. Hope life pans out more the way you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite all the remarkable support written on here you will still feel scared and fearful in your quiet moments...its natural to feel that way and its a reaction we all have. You have shown immense courage to post your feelings and its brought a huge wave of genuine support flowing back..and I join all in wishing your mum a speedy and full recovery...my motto in life is think positive! I, along with all on here hope you give regular updates...keep smiling..(But will be hard sometimes) ....thoughts...feel free to inbox me anytime |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a quick update!
Mum is coming out of hospital tomorrow! Which is great news! She will have to have radiotherapy and will be under the care of the consultants for the next 5 years!
She can't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed "
Fantastic news guys, big hugs xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great news, and the best part is yet to come, each time the consultants extend the time to the next appointment is a victory, took me a year to get from monthly to quarterly, but only another two to get to annual checks, each extension is like another step away from being a patient.
Very happy for you, Radiotherapy is a drag lots of time in the hospital, but the treatment itself is quick, and at least she will get home each night |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a quick update
Luke's mum has been to see the consultant today and the tumour was
Benign..... Such a huge relief for us all!!
Thank you once again for all the kind messages x |
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"Just a quick update
Luke's mum has been to see the consultant today and the tumour was
Benign..... Such a huge relief for us all!!
Thank you once again for all the kind messages x "
yay, absolute brilliant news |
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"Just a quick update
Luke's mum has been to see the consultant today and the tumour was
Benign..... Such a huge relief for us all!!
Thank you once again for all the kind messages x "
Oh excellent news!!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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18 months ago I was diagnosed with renal cancer - it came out of the blue and left me stunned
Nothing prepares you for such news so being confused and lost is to be expected
But cancer can be beaten its no longer a death sentence as it was in the past
All I can advise is talk to friends & family and be prepared to let your emotions out
I talked with a counsellor i know but I'd whole heartedly recommend Macmillan nurses
Dealing with cancer is differenf for esch individual - after getting absolutely pissed a couple of nights after being told I woke up and said to myself "if you're going to kill me you've got on hell of a fight on your hands" - 18 months later I'm alive & kicking
What it has given me is a different perspective on life in that I am calmer and more at ease with myself
I wish Luke's mum all the best - my thoughts are with her |
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I join Lickety and send kisses as well as hugs to both of you.