FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Silly postings ............
Silly postings ............
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What's the definition of trust?
Two Cannibal's having oral sex "
Did you hear the crash as the penny dropped ............... I have read that four times  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you better now Minx?
That's as maybe, ma coffee table is still recovering after traumatic experience  "
at least yours didnt have a chess set on it .......................... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the definition of trust?
Two Cannibal's having oral sex
Did you hear the crash as the penny dropped ............... I have read that four times "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's the definition of trust?
Two Cannibal's having oral sex
Did you hear the crash as the penny dropped ............... I have read that four times
"
bit of a dumb blonde spell |
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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
A lorry driver goes on a date with a girl, afterwards they go back to her parents place, and just beginning to have sex on the couch when he feels the cold steel of a gun barrel on his neck.. Before he could turn around her father said "if you're a real lorry driver you'll be able to back out of there with a full load!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves.
The husband says, "No chance love, they're way too damn expensive."
Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep when the husband tries his luck
and places his hand on her hip.
She turns to him and says, “Whoa there! I don’t think so cowboy.
If you’re not prepared to shoe the horse you sure as hell ain’t gonna ride it.”
Hehe  |
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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
My dad worked on the roadwork’s for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there.
------------------------------------
I'm fed up with the excuses women come out with to avoid having sex, like;
"I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Minxie, Soxy and Euro discover a long lost temple....
Inside is a 60 foot statue of a goddess, in solid gold... In place of its clits it has an enormous diamond, the size of a football....
A sign beside it reads "Whosoever wishes the diamond must first satisfy the goddess...!!!"
Our three intrepid explorers leave the temple to discuss plans.....
Minxie refuses to shag a goddess, even for a diamond that big...
Soxy, brave Soxy, returns to the temple.....
Half an hour later there is a blood curdling scream.... And Soxy flees from the building covered in blood and bite marks....
Euro, calmly enters the goddess' lair....
An hour passes, two, a day....
A week later there is no sign of Euro...
Minxie and Soxy fear for his life....
A week later.... Euro emerges from the temple, cool, suave and unruffled, carrying the diamond.....
Which just goes to prove what an idle fecker Euro is....!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Two nuns sharing a bath. One asks 'Where's the soap?'
The other replies.. 'yes it does, doesn't it...'
.
.
.
I shall now allow for 'Minxie Time' for her to get that one...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Two nuns sharing a bath. One asks 'Where's the soap?'
The other replies.. 'yes it does, doesn't it...'
.
.
.
I shall now allow for 'Minxie Time' for her to get that one...... "
oiiiiiiiiiiii I knew that one lol wot about the constipated accountant ............... he worked it out with a pencil |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Minxie, Soxy and Euro discover a long lost temple....
Inside is a 60 foot statue of a goddess, in solid gold... In place of its clits it has an enormous diamond, the size of a football....
A sign beside it reads "Whosoever wishes the diamond must first satisfy the goddess...!!!"
Our three intrepid explorers leave the temple to discuss plans.....
Minxie refuses to shag a goddess, even for a diamond that big...
Soxy, brave Soxy, returns to the temple.....
Half an hour later there is a blood curdling scream.... And Soxy flees from the building covered in blood and bite marks....
Euro, calmly enters the goddess' lair....
An hour passes, two, a day....
A week later there is no sign of Euro...
Minxie and Soxy fear for his life....
A week later.... Euro emerges from the temple, cool, suave and unruffled, carrying the diamond.....
Which just goes to prove what an idle fecker Euro is....!!! "
I like this one .............ok ure forgiven for the crack yesterday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From SuperNannies Alternative Guide Book to Child Rearing......
"Mummy! Mummy! I 'ate my Dad's guts!"
"Leave 'em on the side of the plate then, luv..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why am I running round in circles?"
"Shut up or I'll nail the other foot to the floor..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why's Daddy staggering down the garden path?"
"Shut up and reload, son....."
|
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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
"From SuperNannies Alternative Guide Book to Child Rearing......
"Mummy! Mummy! I 'ate my Dad's guts!"
"Leave 'em on the side of the plate then, luv..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why am I running round in circles?"
"Shut up or I'll nail the other foot to the floor..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why's Daddy staggering down the garden path?"
"Shut up and reload, son....."
"
Mummy! Mummy! Can I lick the bowl out?
Shut up and flush it like everyone else...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I like this one .............ok ure forgiven for the crack yesterday "
Awwww.... See, I knew you would....
To be fair, she was really grateful.... And you knowi could never leave you... |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I shall relate part of the 12 and a half minute phone convo I had with my Mam trying to tell her an address for a sympathy card she was sending...I said I'd ring her when I got back from the shop, but popped round my sister in law's and ended up staying for a brew and a craic, so got home to two messages and the phone ringing....
Mam: Where've you been?
Me: Jean's house, Philip is in hospital so I stopped for a chat
Mam: Who's Jill?
Me: No, Philip, my nephew....
Fast forward thru the asking for details...
Me: Right, Auntie Molly's address is 4
Mam: 4
Me: Box Field
Mam: Toxic Seed?
Me: No, Box Field, I'll spell it...B O X
Mam: C?
Me: No, B for Bravo....
Mam: B R A V
Me: No, I'm spelling it phonetically
Mam: You're selling what?
Me: (takes deep breath) NO, B FOR BRAVO
Mam: B
So we get the address done and I say Scarborough...
Mam: How do you spell Scarborough?
Me: I've lost the will to live, give it your best shot...the postcode is Sierra Charlie
Mam: Fiesta, Harley?
Me: S for sugar, shit, shovel...C for cat, Charlie, Chumbafeckingwumba
Mam: I might not bother sending a card....
Me: (counts to 10)
Mam: You still there?
Me: I'm counting to 10...
Mam: You found a hen?
Me: SEND THE BLOODY CARD!!!
Whilst that's not word for word as I've changed names and addresses, hopefully you get the drift - it would have been quicker for me to pop back round with the fecking address (or possibly hand deliver the card to the other side of the country |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"From SuperNannies Alternative Guide Book to Child Rearing......
"Mummy! Mummy! I 'ate my Dad's guts!"
"Leave 'em on the side of the plate then, luv..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why am I running round in circles?"
"Shut up or I'll nail the other foot to the floor..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Mummy! Mummy! Why's Daddy staggering down the garden path?"
"Shut up and reload, son....."
Mummy! Mummy! Can I lick the bowl out?
Shut up and flush it like everyone else...
"
Sod! Knew I forgot one!!!! |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself "
Is that something else you have broken |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I shall relate part of the 12 and a half minute phone convo I had with my Mam trying to tell her an address for a sympathy card she was sending...I said I'd ring her when I got back from the shop, but popped round my sister in law's and ended up staying for a brew and a craic, so got home to two messages and the phone ringing....
Mam: Where've you been?
Me: Jean's house, Philip is in hospital so I stopped for a chat
Mam: Who's Jill?
Me: No, Philip, my nephew....
Fast forward thru the asking for details...
Me: Right, Auntie Molly's address is 4
Mam: 4
Me: Box Field
Mam: Toxic Seed?
Me: No, Box Field, I'll spell it...B O X
Mam: C?
Me: No, B for Bravo....
Mam: B R A V
Me: No, I'm spelling it phonetically
Mam: You're selling what?
Me: (takes deep breath) NO, B FOR BRAVO
Mam: B
So we get the address done and I say Scarborough...
Mam: How do you spell Scarborough?
Me: I've lost the will to live, give it your best shot...the postcode is Sierra Charlie
Mam: Fiesta, Harley?
Me: S for sugar, shit, shovel...C for cat, Charlie, Chumbafeckingwumba
Mam: I might not bother sending a card....
Me: (counts to 10)
Mam: You still there?
Me: I'm counting to 10...
Mam: You found a hen?
Me: SEND THE BLOODY CARD!!!
Whilst that's not word for word as I've changed names and addresses, hopefully you get the drift - it would have been quicker for me to pop back round with the fecking address (or possibly hand deliver the card to the other side of the country "
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken "
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol "
typo * it not I * and ffs I have just sent a private message to myself instead of replying in the forum ................ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on  "
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....  |
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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
My wife was counting all the 5p's and 10p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change." |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol "
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault"
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol "
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though..... "
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments "
So do I. Rats ...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it "
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ........... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments "
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky! |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ........... "
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky! "
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted."
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it "
like just when it was being taken out the box???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!"
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!! |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it
like just when it was being taken out the box???? "
Yes
Might even count if you were in the same postcode |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!! "
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it
like just when it was being taken out the box????
Yes
Might even count if you were in the same postcode"
I can confirm categorically that I did not take it out the box and I wasn't in the same postcode at the time .......... but somehow it has gone wrong over the last 11 months since it has been in my possession lol see not my fault !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming! "
Once you leave, you cannot return...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming!
Once you leave, you cannot return...... "
Then I shall remain an Oldhamer! |
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"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it
like just when it was being taken out the box????
Yes
Might even count if you were in the same postcode
I can confirm categorically that I did not take it out the box and I wasn't in the same postcode at the time .......... but somehow it has gone wrong over the last 11 months since it has been in my possession lol see not my fault !!!! "
You be the lady at a and e reception giving the I slipped and fell on it honest  |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming!
Once you leave, you cannot return......
Then I shall remain an Oldhamer! "
My son used to play that. Oh hang on - that was Warhammer..... |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming!
Once you leave, you cannot return......
Then I shall remain an Oldhamer!
My son used to play that. Oh hang on - that was Warhammer..... "
Once you leave Oldham you don't want to come back! haha |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming!
Once you leave, you cannot return......
Then I shall remain an Oldhamer!
My son used to play that. Oh hang on - that was Warhammer.....
Once you leave Oldham you don't want to come back! haha"
I used to work a company based in Dewsbury. Same applied there.... |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"
Course, you know the worrying part of all that - in about 30 years time, YOU'LL be just like your Mum.....
Ted, I hate you
Thank God I've no children to inflict that on
My pleasure! Notice how I didn't sign that comment though.....
Ah, but Ruby usually does sign her comments
I didn't sign anything - or are we confusing Rubies again Ted that's frightfully Unlucky!
Cue Twilight Zone intro music.... doo de doo doo, doo de doo doo...... everybody sing along....
ted.
Haha Ted - we'll have no confusion at the Beach Party!
Hope not or I'll have to put you on the train home!!!!!!!
Haha - I was born in Kent so it'd be a homecoming!
Once you leave, you cannot return......
Then I shall remain an Oldhamer!
My son used to play that. Oh hang on - that was Warhammer.....
Once you leave Oldham you don't want to come back! haha"
You nearly had me n Miss Pussy back when we went wrong with your directions! Still haven't updated the satnav lol
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it
like just when it was being taken out the box????
Yes
Might even count if you were in the same postcode
I can confirm categorically that I did not take it out the box and I wasn't in the same postcode at the time .......... but somehow it has gone wrong over the last 11 months since it has been in my possession lol see not my fault !!!!
You be the lady at a and e reception giving the I slipped and fell on it honest "
Noooooooooo my excuses are all plausible lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hours ago when Ruby went off for a nap I promised to start a silly thread to amuse her when she woke up ............. then I telephoned 3 to get my phone sorted out and four hours later .......... I now have my laptop back (he remotely nicked it - 3 man) and the phone is no better than it was ...... apparently I have a faulty handset ........... nothing new there then, so feel free to post anything silly and stupid you like to cheer a fellow forumite up whilst she is on bed rest for the next 24 hours .......
my silliness will shine throught the thread hopefully ..... please don't let me be talking to myself
Is that something else you have broken
oh god here we go..... nope it wasn't my fault, originally 3 thought it was a glitch on the software, now they believe the phone is faulty .......... so I cannot be my fault ............ the other one works perfectly lol
Did you take it out of the box, if you did it must be your fault
so if I didn't and someone else did it would be their's then?? lol I can see me wiggling out of the blame here lol
We need three independent people that we swear on oath that you never touched it
when you say touched it ........... could you clarify exactly what u mean please ...........
That any part of your body went within a inch of it, better still if you breathed on it
like just when it was being taken out the box????
Yes
Might even count if you were in the same postcode
I can confirm categorically that I did not take it out the box and I wasn't in the same postcode at the time .......... but somehow it has gone wrong over the last 11 months since it has been in my possession lol see not my fault !!!!
You be the lady at a and e reception giving the I slipped and fell on it honest
Noooooooooo my excuses are all plausible lol "
Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol 
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please "
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo |
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"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo "
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either |
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"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either but I never went to A&E for that one .......... lol
24hours in a and e says different
nope my debut on telly is on the 10th July ............. "
What don't the porn movies count |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either but I never went to A&E for that one .......... lol
24hours in a and e says different
nope my debut on telly is on the 10th July .............
What don't the porn movies count "
never starred lol |
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"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either but I never went to A&E for that one .......... lol
24hours in a and e says different
nope my debut on telly is on the 10th July .............
What don't the porn movies count
never starred lol "
What you never starred but was in the back ground  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either but I never went to A&E for that one .......... lol
24hours in a and e says different
nope my debut on telly is on the 10th July .............
What don't the porn movies count
never starred lol
What you never starred but was in the back ground "
never |
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"Everyone thinks that, until the staff give that smile and knowing look
I have never received one of them smiles or knowing looks lol
No doctor don't take it out just change the batteries please
oiiiiiiiiiii I have NEVER been to A&E for anything like that!!!!! concussion yes ..........but not apparatus being stuck noooooooooooooo
No candle light bulbs(lamps to a sparkie) stuck either but I never went to A&E for that one .......... lol
24hours in a and e says different
nope my debut on telly is on the 10th July .............
What don't the porn movies count
never starred lol
What you never starred but was in the back ground
never "
That's what they all say |
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