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Silly jokes thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Where do fish keep thier money

In the river bank

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Because I'm stressed, I've started sniffing glue.

It's the only thing holding me together.

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By *lanwoodMan  over a year ago

Alton

Two goldfish swimming round in a bowl. What's the name of the one in front?

Bob.

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By *atcockleedsMan  over a year ago

leeds

What do you call a prostitute with white eyes ? Full

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Q Whats worse than spiders on your piano?

A Crabs on your organ.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

What do you call a man with a spade in his head

Doug

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: Because he was stuck in the chicken!!

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By *atcockleedsMan  over a year ago

leeds

2 prostitutes stood on the corner first one say " it's going to be busy tonight I can smell the cock in the air " the second says " sorry I just burped "

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass.

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By *hite SnakeMan  over a year ago

leeds


"Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass."

I know the lesbian dinosaur was called a lickalotapuss

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By *taffsfella1Man  over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme


"What do you call a man with a spade in his head

Doug"

What do you call a man without a spade on his head?

Douglas!

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By *ibbyhunterCouple  over a year ago

keighley

what do you call a donkey with three legs?

a wonky!

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Q What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

A Men usually miss all three.

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By *onnydebbieTV/TS  over a year ago

doncaster

heard the one about the man who put condom.on inside out!!

he went!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me: Are you a Virgin" ... Blonde: "Not yet"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's green and hangs from trees ?

Leaves.

Where would you find a dog with legs ?

Where you left if

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's green and hangs from trees ?

Leaves.

Where would you find a dog with legs ?

Where you left if "

Oops no legs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

still no idea

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By *inky BunnyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

A tramp stopped me and said : "give me 20p for a pint!".

I said : "here's 40p get me one too!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/13 22:06:30]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That was bad taste, sorry if anyone saw it

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By *uud 4-funMan  over a year ago

Dartford


"Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass.

I know the lesbian dinosaur was called a lickalotapuss"

There was a species of dinosaur with one single eye and a squint. It was called Dyathinkesaurus

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

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By *uud 4-funMan  over a year ago

Dartford

I'm reading a book about micro gravity at the moment - It's hard to put down.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got."

And i had the last one

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Q Whats the difference between a radial tyre and 365 used rubbers?

A One is a goodyear, the other is a

GREAT FUCKING YEAR

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf.

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By *rnycpl2705Couple  over a year ago

Killin

A man says to his wife " I bet u can't make me happy and pissed off at the same time "

Wife says " I bet I can "

Husband says "go for it"

Wife says " u have a much bigger penis than ur brother"

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By *heffmMan  over a year ago

sheffield

Whats blue and white and stands in a field..... A fridge in a denim jacket

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By *amslam1000Man  over a year ago

willenhall


"what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

still no idea "

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs having sex?

still no fucking idea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the Cucumber.

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By *B9 QueenWoman  over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

The best way to a man's heart?

Straight through his ribcage.

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Walked past the fridge earlier and thought I heard a onion singing a

BeeGees song......

When I opened the door it was just a chive talkin... I asked the chive if it wanted to be an onion?.....

But it said,

I'm stayin, a chive ah,ah,ah,

stayin a chive.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

a man walks into a drum kit....

....ba-da-boom-cha!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

why were the bakers hands dirty?

because he (k)needed a poo

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By *ashful BazMan  over a year ago

poole dorset

Q What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?

A Fucks Funny!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's green and can't fly?

A field.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some really funny ones here!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Q, What did the elephant say when the crocodile bit off his trunk?

A, Oh vats ferry vunny....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Q. What did the green grape say to the purple grape...

A. Breathe you fucker, breathe!!!

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By *ichaelangelaCouple  over a year ago

notts


"what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

still no idea "

and a deer with no eyes, no legs having sex???

still no fucking idea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

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