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Silly jokes thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Where do fish keep thier money

In the river bank

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By *ashful BazMan over a year ago

poole dorset

Because I'm stressed, I've started sniffing glue.

It's the only thing holding me together.

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By *lanwoodMan over a year ago

Alton

Two goldfish swimming round in a bowl. What's the name of the one in front?

Bob.

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By *atcockleedsMan over a year ago

leeds

What do you call a prostitute with white eyes ? Full

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By *ashful BazMan over a year ago

poole dorset

Q Whats worse than spiders on your piano?

A Crabs on your organ.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What do you call a man with a spade in his head

Doug

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: Because he was stuck in the chicken!!

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By *atcockleedsMan over a year ago

leeds

2 prostitutes stood on the corner first one say " it's going to be busy tonight I can smell the cock in the air " the second says " sorry I just burped "

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By *ashful BazMan over a year ago

poole dorset

Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass.

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By *hite SnakeMan over a year ago

leeds

"Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass."

I know the lesbian dinosaur was called a lickalotapuss

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By *taffsfella1Man over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head

Doug"

What do you call a man without a spade on his head?

Douglas!

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By *ibbyhunterCouple over a year ago

keighley

what do you call a donkey with three legs?

a wonky!

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By *ashful BazMan over a year ago

poole dorset

Q What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

A Men usually miss all three.

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By *onnydebbieTV/TS over a year ago

doncaster

heard the one about the man who put condom.on inside out!!

he went!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me: Are you a Virgin" ... Blonde: "Not yet"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's green and hangs from trees ?

Leaves.

Where would you find a dog with legs ?

Where you left if

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's green and hangs from trees ?

Leaves.

Where would you find a dog with legs ?

Where you left if

Oops no legs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

still no idea

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By *inky BunnyMan over a year ago

Cardiff

A tramp stopped me and said : "give me 20p for a pint!".

I said : "here's 40p get me one too!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/13 22:06:30]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That was bad taste, sorry if anyone saw it

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By *uud 4-funMan over a year ago

Dartford

"Q What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Mega-saur-ass.

I know the lesbian dinosaur was called a lickalotapuss"

There was a species of dinosaur with one single eye and a squint. It was called Dyathinkesaurus

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

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By *uud 4-funMan over a year ago

Dartford

I'm reading a book about micro gravity at the moment - It's hard to put down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got."

And i had the last one

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By *ashful BazMan over a year ago

poole dorset

Q Whats the difference between a radial tyre and 365 used rubbers?

A One is a goodyear, the other is a

GREAT FUCKING YEAR

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf.

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By *rnycpl2705Couple over a year ago

Killin

A man says to his wife " I bet u can't make me happy and pissed off at the same time "

Wife says " I bet I can "

Husband says "go for it"

Wife says " u have a much bigger penis than ur brother"