FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Just out of a long term relationship.....
Just out of a long term relationship.....
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"I did I had/have a huge sex drive and coming out of a sexless marriage i was gaging for a good shag and was pointed in the direction of fab. That was 5 years ago.... "Lol i appreciate there are exceptions to the rule  | |||
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"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "it certainly is | |||
"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting | |||
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"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?
Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting "Yeah sorry... I'm feeling indignant this morning after reading something else, apologies if that was harsh. 
I guess it helps to know that when you come here, you generally know what's on offer and it can remain uncomplicated. My brain is fried and my heart is broken so getting too involved is not something I want. But we all have needs right? | |||
"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?
Lol im not moaning or judging at all simply asking a question as i find it interesting
Yeah sorry... I'm feeling indignant this morning after reading something else, apologies if that was harsh.
I guess it helps to know that when you come here, you generally know what's on offer and it can remain uncomplicated. My brain is fried and my heart is broken so getting too involved is not something I want. But we all have needs right? "Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.
My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??
I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc | |||
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"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.
My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??
I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc "Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am. I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know. Shit I've been all honest again. | |||
"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.
My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??
I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc
Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am.
I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know.
Shit I've been all honest again. "Thats really cool and really glad you are able to realise all that nad make an informed decision
Happy swinging lol
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"I think it's good for some.. bad news others. I when I split waited to play but the social side of this world is great. " Yeh agreed, sometimes the warmth, caring and compassion of strangers can be a good thing ( on a social level ) | |||
I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own
I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you
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"Lol apology accepted and no offence taken And no offence but your current emotional state is exactly what im talking about, im not judging or telling anyone what they should or shouldnt do.
My point is more aimed at the those that are in a fluctual state of mind, having just left a long term relationship your are bound to be feeling fragile ect so i just wonder if swinging will help or hinder ??
I appreciate there are all sorts of variations to this and each indivdual is different, and im by no means judging etc
Yeah... I guess I've licked my wounds and I'm ready to do something about the sexual side of things. I have a grip of my emotions. I was shat on. It hurt. It takes time to get over that kind of emotional damage and it's taken me since February to deal with that. I'll be dealing with it for a while to come, that's just how I am.
I know myself well enough to know that I'm ready to delve into the physical stuff again because I find myself thinking about it. It will vary for every individual as we all heal differently. Before now I wasn't ready to think about having someone else near me. Now I am so that tells me all I need to know.
Shit I've been all honest again. "
This makes perfect sense to me, well put! | |||
"I suppose it depends on the timescale....maybe they have got over the relationship and then joined the site for NSA sex. I don't see anything wrong with that, it gives them what they want without having to have another relationship. "Actually , maybe it doesn't matter about the timescale if you are looking for just fun. I can't see anyone joining five minutes after being dumped/dumped someone anyway. | |||
"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it? "But you're an habitual trollop- not that i'm judging you though- tis one of the reasons we've been mates for so long | |||
"Often see new profiles on Fab with " Just out of a relationship so looking to explore some fantasies " I do get where these people are coming from but for me if i had just split from a long term partner i would not be jumping on to a swinging site lol !! So i guess the question is do you think swinging is good for someone that has just come out of a long term relationship and could it have a negative impact on them and the people they potentially swing with ?? Discuss lol "I avoid such profiles like the plague. The people are generally morose, bitter, more baggage than the cargo hold of a Thomas Cook jet to Tenerife in August and able to suck fun out of the atmosphere! Turning to sites like this to be ignored is not good for already damaged egos. If they have the charisma to get meets sex with strangers soon becomes demoralising for some and not good meets. | |||
"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since "Blimey! I trust that there's no kids or pets stuck at home waiting for food and drink this past month ? | |||
"I came out of a relationship two months ago, albeit, not a long long term one. I then reopened my account here on fab, I'd kept it hidden, just to use the forums for chatting with friendly people and for the humour. However, rarely used it whilst we both we're trying the relationship out, as that felt a little like cheating, and not giving my all, so it was forgotten about. Anyway, things never worked out, and I opened up the account, after about two months, I've started using the forums again, as they are great for some laughs and giggles, but I've yet to have a meet since coming back. For me it was a case of being patient, not rushing things, and even though any meets would be for a purely fun basis, I didn't want the rebound kind of effect, I don't think that would have made for great meets. Straight after the relationship, companionship and maybe even the odd cuddle were more important, So I got that from my mates. I'm glad I took my time, until the whole relationship break up is cleared in my mind, and now it's a case of bring on the fun! hee hee, just need to get rid of single guy syndrome
I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own
I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you
"You have summed this up beautifully. | |||
"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since
Blimey! I trust that there's no kids or pets stuck at home waiting for food and drink this past month ?" | |||
"Often see new profiles on Fab with " Just out of a relationship so looking to explore some fantasies " I do get where these people are coming from but for me if i had just split from a long term partner i would not be jumping on to a swinging site lol !! So i guess the question is do you think swinging is good for someone that has just come out of a long term relationship and could it have a negative impact on them and the people they potentially swing with ?? Discuss lol "depends why you split, not everyone are sad about breaking up when I split with my ex it was one of the best days of my life and swinging didn't affect me at all, if you loved your ex when you split and was hurt over it I would suggest taking some time before trying this | |||
"I've just come out of a relationship too. Well in February and I have no desire to jump into another but I have needs so NSA is pretty perfect. Why people are so intent on judging others is beyond me. Why don't you just join in, get what you need from the site and bypass the people who don't fit your needs rather than moaning about them? Just a suggestion! Oh... it's Thursday isn't it?
But you're an habitual trollop- not that i'm judging you though- tis one of the reasons we've been mates for so long "Yeah I guess having been round here for the last seven years means I know about the lurking trollops!  | |||
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"I came out of a relationship two months ago, albeit, not a long long term one. I then reopened my account here on fab, I'd kept it hidden, just to use the forums for chatting with friendly people and for the humour. However, rarely used it whilst we both we're trying the relationship out, as that felt a little like cheating, and not giving my all, so it was forgotten about. Anyway, things never worked out, and I opened up the account, after about two months, I've started using the forums again, as they are great for some laughs and giggles, but I've yet to have a meet since coming back. For me it was a case of being patient, not rushing things, and even though any meets would be for a purely fun basis, I didn't want the rebound kind of effect, I don't think that would have made for great meets. Straight after the relationship, companionship and maybe even the odd cuddle were more important, So I got that from my mates. I'm glad I took my time, until the whole relationship break up is cleared in my mind, and now it's a case of bring on the fun! hee hee, just need to get rid of single guy syndrome
I can understand why some people would jump straight back on the horse, maybe to help them forget their worries, or maybe even in a 'f**k you' I can still get my fun kind of bravado way, or even the need to feel attractive to the opposite sex, or indeed the same sex, each to their own
I think it's gonna work differently for everyone, and as long as it's fun for all, ya gotta do what's right for you
You have summed this up beautifully. "Thank you for saying so, I can only give my own interpretation, but the OP has posted an interesting question that's been relevant to me, and I'm sure many others | |||
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"when a relationship breaks, i think this offers up a great opportunity to be introspective about your own personal journey. i think the time between a 'break up' and 'moving on' is dictated largely by the inderviuals conscious starting point(ie.the damage caused by the end of a relationship) ,some people have a lot of work to do and others are more cognitively lucid. This is why we think a good social before anything else is essential(for us at least). To us the NSA and Fun aspect of all of this goes out the window if anybodies lives are negatively impacted by our actions. So just to clarify we are not judging other people infact we're not really concerned with what others do unless our paths cross, your business is your business,but if people think that swinging is some kind of sexual panacea then someone on a 'rebound' may not make for a good meet but can only be assessed on a case for case basis. we can only urge people to know them selves well enough to avoid a meet that's going to be tarnished with negative issues. personally we think that honesty is the key, if you are honest with yourself you'll know if your doing the right thing and honest with the people who you socialize/play with will minimize the risk of there being repercussions. disclaimer: this works for us and may not work for you either way your statutory rights will not be affected! " | |||
"when a relationship breaks, i think this offers up a great opportunity to be introspective about your own personal journey. i think the time between a 'break up' and 'moving on' is dictated largely by the inderviuals conscious starting point(ie.the damage caused by the end of a relationship) ,some people have a lot of work to do and others are more cognitively lucid. This is why we think a good social before anything else is essential(for us at least). To us the NSA and Fun aspect of all of this goes out the window if anybodies lives are negatively impacted by our actions. So just to clarify we are not judging other people infact we're not really concerned with what others do unless our paths cross, your business is your business,but if people think that swinging is some kind of sexual panacea then someone on a 'rebound' may not make for a good meet but can only be assessed on a case for case basis. we can only urge people to know them selves well enough to avoid a meet that's going to be tarnished with negative issues. personally we think that honesty is the key, if you are honest with yourself you'll know if your doing the right thing and honest with the people who you socialize/play with will minimize the risk of there being repercussions. disclaimer: this works for us and may not work for you either way your statutory rights will not be affected! "Well said | |||
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"About 4 weeks after my ex cheated Ide lost all my confidence, Ide had a couple of vodkas and went to a swingers club, I've been here ever since "Can't you find the exit or are you having so much fun you don't want to leave ? | |||
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"It's the reason I joined to be honest, but it isn't like I set up a profile the next day or anything. I just missed the sex and intimacy but enjoy being single (concentrating on my own life out a bit more). It is hard to meet women 'out and about' who want a similar relationship and I don't really fancy just being a douche so this seemed like a reasonable option. Maybe I've got it all wrong!" Sounds like ya got it sorted to me pal | |||
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