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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What is the most classic faux pas you have come out with ...............
Someone once said to me ............. I would love to raise your skirt and suck on your nipples .................. errrrrrrmmmmmmmm I didn't realise they had sunk that far South .............  |
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once opened a cv from a 19yo girl which read
i have had sex jobs this year,
invited her in for a interview and omg ive never seen anyone blush so much when i pointed it out, turns out she meant 6 jobs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"once opened a cv from a 19yo girl which read
i have had sex jobs this year,
invited her in for a interview and omg ive never seen anyone blush so much when i pointed it out, turns out she meant 6 jobs "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have just had to start wearing spectacles for reading.
My mother in law was round last week and I asked her if she would like to see my new testicles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Daughter once asked me what was in the bag I was carrying and I said Swinging kit instead of Swimming kit 
And said Daughter asked for Durex paint in B&Q  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're not just as tight as my last girlfriend...
I then found out she could slap REALLY hard."
wish I had never opened this thread whilst drinking coffee choking and spluttering  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sat at the nurses station chatting with a female doctor about peoples size in general, she came out with, well your not that fat, calked her a.cheeky bitch. She was so embarressed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was doing 2D shapes with a kid. She was struggling to work out how many sides an octagon had so I asked, "How many testicles does an octagon have?" I then repeated the word tentacles what felt like a million times! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was little I overheard my mum complain to my dad that her piles were hurting, I thought I'd use it as an excuse not to go to school the next day, for some reason she didn't believe me!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I was little I overheard my mum complain to my dad that her piles were hurting, I thought I'd use it as an excuse not to go to school the next day, for some reason she didn't believe me!! "
that did make me laugh out loud   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was little I overheard my mum complain to my dad that her piles were hurting, I thought I'd use it as an excuse not to go to school the next day, for some reason she didn't believe me!!
that did make me laugh out loud "
She's never let me forget it! |
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I was once waiting at a crowded tube station when an elderly couple came up to me and said. 'Eeeeeeeeeeh it's Edward!' (I am not Edward by the way) and went straight into asking me how I was. I felt awkward and just pretended I knew them and said I was fine. They then asked me how the family was and asked about people by name. I felt I had dug a hole for myself so just started making shit up about these family members hoping that they would get on the train soon. But the old fuckers just kept asking questions!!! It was at one point during me waxing lyrical about my imaginery Uncle Simon that the Husband in the coulple started nudging his wife and said 'Mary it's not Edward'. 
They both backed away as if I had killed Uncle Simon there on the platform while several commuters shook their heads and tutted at me.
I'm shuddering right now thinking about it.
Does getting lost in a web of your own bullshit with an OAP Couple count as a faux pas? If so I think I win. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was once waiting at a crowded tube station when an elderly couple came up to me and said. 'Eeeeeeeeeeh it's Edward!' (I am not Edward by the way) and went straight into asking me how I was. I felt awkward and just pretended I knew them and said I was fine. They then asked me how the family was and asked about people by name. I felt I had dug a hole for myself so just started making shit up about these family members hoping that they would get on the train soon. But the old fuckers just kept asking questions!!! It was at one point during me waxing lyrical about my imaginery Uncle Simon that the Husband in the coulple started nudging his wife and said 'Mary it's not Edward'.
They both backed away as if I had killed Uncle Simon there on the platform while several commuters shook their heads and tutted at me.
I'm shuddering right now thinking about it.
Does getting lost in a web of your own bullshit with an OAP Couple count as a faux pas? If so I think I win."
yeah a close second at the mo ........ I just had a little incident with my bum and think I am gonna blame u for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A Chinese man got in my cab and said Harrow. I said ok mate and pulled away.
He said you don't know where I'm going yet, I looked at him puzzled and he said I only said hello. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Chinese man got in my cab and said Harrow. I said ok mate and pulled away.
He said you don't know where I'm going yet, I looked at him puzzled and he said I only said hello. "
I had a similar incident with a Chinese man. He said what I thought was the Tara hotel when in fact he said the tower hotel. They are about four miles from each other. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"What is the most classic faux pas you have come out with ...............
Someone once said to me ............. I would love to raise your skirt and suck on your nipples .................. errrrrrrmmmmmmmm I didn't realise they had sunk that far South ............. "
That really made me chuckle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was with ex wife in the day she liked sex we were in garden centre i thought it was empty was feelng her up on a table and said i am going to lick your fanny it ended bad she was sat on tannoy switch it was broadcast to everyone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Was with ex wife in the day she liked sex we were in garden centre i thought it was empty was feelng her up on a table and said i am going to lick your fanny it ended bad she was sat on tannoy switch it was broadcast to everyone "
now that did make me splutter and cough |
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