FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you say no without offending somebody?
How do you say no without offending somebody?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do? 
I go like this.......
No "
I knew I could rely on you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No "
open ur legs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legs"
Filty - pure and utter filth! Granny is a lady you know! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legsFilty - pure and utter filth! Granny is a lady you know! "
No he doesn't know. Which is why he's checking me bits....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just say no, if they get offended its their problem"
You actually do have a point here but still ... few of us enjoy upsetting other people so I wondered if there were better ways? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just say no, if they get offended its their problemYou actually do have a point here but still ... few of us enjoy upsetting other people so I wondered if there were better ways? "
Shotgun and a polite leave me alone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Look Aphro .... there's a flaw in the scenario .
cannot is a mile or more from 'don't want to' ...
which is is ?"
But just every now and again I really would if I could but I do know that I really cannot? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legs
Okay chunky hunks..... "
I really wanted a no..just so i could hatewank!then send abusiveness |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legs
Okay chunky hunks.....
I really wanted a no..just so i could hatewank!then send abusiveness"
Sorry darlink !
No I won't open my legs.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legsFilty - pure and utter filth! Granny is a lady you know!
No he doesn't know. Which is why he's checking me bits....
"
cheers for the pic...u could shag my arse with the size of that!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legs
Okay chunky hunks.....
I really wanted a no..just so i could hatewank!then send abusiveness
Sorry darlink !
No I won't open my legs.... "
Of course you would not - noblesse oblige!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..  "
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"be open and honest..
you waffle some made up cobblers it may come back and bit you on the arse..
integrity etc.. Thats what I thought really - how are yours btw?
empty ish.."
Thought you were keeping some for me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'."
Broken record method, eh? Sounds cool but still would probably cause offense unforuntately. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Foxy and 3rd person - that simply would not work in the case; well not without causing offense but that said.. it is really about the other person, isnt it?"
sometimes you have to be a bit frank..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legsFilty - pure and utter filth! Granny is a lady you know!
No he doesn't know. Which is why he's checking me bits....
cheers for the pic...u could shag my arse with the size of that! "
I didn't get Clit Kween 1969 without lots of erectile flexin ...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Foxy and 3rd person - that simply would not work in the case; well not without causing offense but that said.. it is really about the other person, isnt it?
sometimes you have to be a bit frank..
"
Frankly, my dear - |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'."
Let me explain where you are going wrong Steve.
The correct response is....... No
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I go like this.......
No
open ur legsFilty - pure and utter filth! Granny is a lady you know!
No he doesn't know. Which is why he's checking me bits....
cheers for the pic...u could shag my arse with the size of that!
I didn't get Clit Kween 1969 without lots of erectile flexin ...... "
You reminded me about a joke about Cillit bang - only I cannot remember the punch line... story of my life... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"be open and honest..
you waffle some made up cobblers it may come back and bit you on the arse..
integrity etc.. Thats what I thought really - how are yours btw?
empty ish..Thought you were keeping some for me?"
how do you want them.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'.Broken record method, eh? Sounds cool but still would probably cause offense unforuntately."
Offensive is the inability to accept that no is no and I don't need to give reasons. People could be more socially aware and take no for an answer, after all, I wouldn't have said no if I meant maybe or yes. I mostly say yes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"be open and honest..
you waffle some made up cobblers it may come back and bit you on the arse..
integrity etc.. Thats what I thought really - how are yours btw?
empty ish..Thought you were keeping some for me?
how do you want them.."
Any which way but loose |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'.Broken record method, eh? Sounds cool but still would probably cause offense unforuntately.
Offensive is the inability to accept that no is no and I don't need to give reasons. People could be more socially aware and take no for an answer, after all, I wouldn't have said no if I meant maybe or yes. I mostly say yes "
Well put! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"be open and honest..
you waffle some made up cobblers it may come back and bit you on the arse..
integrity etc.. Thats what I thought really - how are yours btw?
empty ish..Thought you were keeping some for me?
how do you want them..Any which way but loose"
right turn Clyde..?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just say no .if they ask for an explanation they on the wrong site.we can all decide not to do things if we want to.incidently no isn't a word that enters my vocabulary very much unless its a no thank you to face pics sent .i think its best just to be honest then but polite .politeness costs nothing .poppyxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A simple "thanks for the message but I'm not really interested", works for me. If they get abusive, block and move on.
Life's too short to worry about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
so my serious answers, I can say no even to those Ive found rather tasty..if I feel they arent going to be my cuppa on the meet..mainly itd be down to things being too scripted as it where
and to me now(being on the site a good few years), I just think...well...it IS only a shag, so ive lost the patience for dealing with those just thinking things can be dictated(I follow rules that appear normal obviously, not when it sounds like someone wants their porno-serious fill) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"be open and honest..
you waffle some made up cobblers it may come back and bit you on the arse..
integrity etc.. Thats what I thought really - how are yours btw?
empty ish..Thought you were keeping some for me?
how do you want them..Any which way but loose
right turn Clyde..?
"
You want to talk? Take a walk. You want to eat? Take a seat |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"so my serious answers, I can say no even to those Ive found rather tasty..if I feel they arent going to be my cuppa on the meet..mainly itd be down to things being too scripted as it where
and to me now(being on the site a good few years), I just think...well...it IS only a shag, so ive lost the patience for dealing with those just thinking things can be dictated(I follow rules that appear normal obviously, not when it sounds like someone wants their porno-serious fill)"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just say no .if they ask for an explanation they on the wrong site.we can all decide not to do things if we want to.incidently no isn't a word that enters my vocabulary very much unless its a no thank you to face pics sent .i think its best just to be honest then but polite .politeness costs nothing .poppyxx"
I agree, I am always polite when refusing someone as I would hate to be rudely rebuffed if I had plucked up courage to message someone. I do get annoyed when asked to justify what is a personal choice though.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just say no .if they ask for an explanation they on the wrong site.we can all decide not to do things if we want to.incidently no isn't a word that enters my vocabulary very much unless its a no thank you to face pics sent .i think its best just to be honest then but polite .politeness costs nothing .poppyxx"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
If it's real life then assume a No and then block is not possible.
No, with a few genuine reasons would be good. Guess you do not want a discussion or negotiation?
How about a polite no, followed re-stating the points they may have made - to show you listened, give a reason or two with the kicker, I'm sorry, the decision is final, non negotiable and that's the end of it.
Any good? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If it's real life then assume a No and then block is not possible.
No, with a few genuine reasons would be good. Guess you do not want a discussion or negotiation?
How about a polite no, followed re-stating the points they may have made - to show you listened, give a reason or two with the kicker, I'm sorry, the decision is final, non negotiable and that's the end of it.
Any good?"
I like it - sounds like the best (most workable )option -thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I get turned down more often than not, but the most offensive rejections are when they read my message and don't reply at all.
The nicest rejection I received said "no thanks but good luck anyway". How's that for you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I get turned down more often than not, but the most offensive rejections are when they read my message and don't reply at all.
The nicest rejection I received said "no thanks but good luck anyway". How's that for you?"
Might be because of your status? Your profile is good though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I get turned down more often than not, but the most offensive rejections are when they read my message and don't reply at all.
The nicest rejection I received said "no thanks but good luck anyway". How's that for you?Might be because of your status? Your profile is good though. "
Yes, I know its mostly about my status, which I am more than happy to accept, and sometimes my age. Thanks for the kind comment about the profile.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do? "
Just tell them straight out. I would.
You have to don't you.
Ben |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Saying NO !!!.. its Like When you Go On Holiday...
After so Long and a few hours off being pestered to buy this carpet or this jewels or this lucky charm or this head scarf or this cheap fake ciggys !!
That you actually Tell them to Fuck orf...
They soon understand that phrase in any country.... eh....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I said "no" recently, realised afterwards that I was a bit abrupt but had discussed what he was trying to do and id already said id only done it once and wouldnt on a first meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I said "no" recently, realised afterwards that I was a bit abrupt but had discussed what he was trying to do and id already said id only done it once and wouldnt on a first meet."
I think iin "that" context I would find it quite easy to say a firm "no", too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"someone beat me to it.
Be direct. It's rude to be polite. No with the truth is enough.I really like that way of thinking! "
I've been out of the country too long. I am too dutch to be polite.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"someone beat me to it.
Be direct. It's rude to be polite. No with the truth is enough.I really like that way of thinking!
I've been out of the country too long. I am too dutch to be polite. "
DO you think Dutch people are less polite? I am curious because some nationalities havea reputation for being one thing or another and then when you meet individual people you find that is not so? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"someone beat me to it.
Be direct. It's rude to be polite. No with the truth is enough.I really like that way of thinking!
I've been out of the country too long. I am too dutch to be polite. DO you think Dutch people are less polite? I am curious because some nationalities havea reputation for being one thing or another and then when you meet individual people you find that is not so? "
But here they do not form one queue. They will be direct and tell you the truth. They will move you out of the way if you were lingering in the supermarket.
It is just a different culture and upbringing. At first I found it offensive because it is all new to me. Now I know the rules and find it polite actually to get straight to the point. Why mess about holding in your frustrations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"someone beat me to it.
Be direct. It's rude to be polite. No with the truth is enough.I really like that way of thinking!
I've been out of the country too long. I am too dutch to be polite. DO you think Dutch people are less polite? I am curious because some nationalities havea reputation for being one thing or another and then when you meet individual people you find that is not so?
But here they do not form one queue. They will be direct and tell you the truth. They will move you out of the way if you were lingering in the supermarket.
It is just a different culture and upbringing. At first I found it offensive because it is all new to me. Now I know the rules and find it polite actually to get straight to the point. Why mess about holding in your frustrations."
Everyone I met here are nice and very friendly and welcoming. No complaints. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do? "
I've had people say it to me and I've said it to others; all done very nicely by both sides I hasten to add.
Honesty is the best policy! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"someone beat me to it.
Be direct. It's rude to be polite. No with the truth is enough.I really like that way of thinking!
I've been out of the country too long. I am too dutch to be polite. DO you think Dutch people are less polite? I am curious because some nationalities havea reputation for being one thing or another and then when you meet individual people you find that is not so?
But here they do not form one queue. They will be direct and tell you the truth. They will move you out of the way if you were lingering in the supermarket.
It is just a different culture and upbringing. At first I found it offensive because it is all new to me. Now I know the rules and find it polite actually to get straight to the point. Why mess about holding in your frustrations.
Everyone I met here are nice and very friendly and welcoming. No complaints."
Sounds good and sounds like you are experiencing that way as a different way of communicating which works for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I've had people say it to me and I've said it to others; all done very nicely by both sides I hasten to add.
Honesty is the best policy!"
I always felt that this is a good way to be. Does not stop me sometimes from feeling bad when I have to say no.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
Straight and to the point! How else can it be said?  "
You are (like many people on here with similar views) absolutely right - but sometimes it is really quite difficult when you know a bit about the person's background and their circumstances. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
Straight and to the point! How else can it be said? You are (like many people on here with similar views) absolutely right - but sometimes it is really quite difficult when you know a bit about the person's background and their circumstances."
Yes, that is true but if you know about the person's background that infers you are friendly (are a friend) with them yes? and if you are a friend, you should always be honest and frank...tell your friends what you think because if you dont and someone else does....then you will no longer have a friend, you will have an acquaintance! and acquaintances do not last long in this world...friends do! I hope I am making sense my mentor |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"I mean, do you make excuses or tell people straight that you cannot/ dont want to do soemthing they have asked you to do?
I've had people say it to me and I've said it to others; all done very nicely by both sides I hasten to add.
Honesty is the best policy!I always felt that this is a good way to be. Does not stop me sometimes from feeling bad when I have to say no. "
Look at it this way; you're only human and saying something negative is always going to be painful for the recipient.
But how else could you say it? Ramble on for ages before you get to the nitty gritty punchline?
Yes, some people have said No to me in a downright rude way and it has pee'd me off big time in some cases! But, I get over it recognising their rudeness is their problem, not mine!
if they couldn't accept rejection from me for any reason, that too, is their problem. Life is full of setbacks; it can never be "Yes" all the time! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just Say No... this is turning into grange hill..
Except of course that one was doing drugs at that time!!!!!
And it wasn't Ro-land.
To say 'no' I say 'no, sorry' and to any follow up I say 'no, sorry' again after carefully and actively listening. And to the classic follow up ' could you at least show some professional integrity and explain your reasons for your decision?' I reply 'No, sorry'.Broken record method, eh? Sounds cool but still would probably cause offense unforuntately.
Offensive is the inability to accept that no is no and I don't need to give reasons. People could be more socially aware and take no for an answer, after all, I wouldn't have said no if I meant maybe or yes. I mostly say yes Well put! "
A thought. If this is in a work context, there is always the sexual harassment clause. If no doesn't seem to work, you may want to be a little more forceful and say that if he/she continues you will have no option but to report it to your management as sexual harassment. In a lot of companies that can be very career limiting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
