FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do compliments make you feel uncomfortable?
Why do compliments make you feel uncomfortable?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont get that many compliments when i meet people, i met someone recently who kept saying nice things to me and i couldnt stop laughing because i dont hear it that often.
if someone says i look nice thats ok, but if they say i look stunning, i think thats just ott.  |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
I wouldnt say they make me uncomfortable just find them hard to accept ....in saying that 1 compliment i do like is.. after having a nite of hot sex with a sexy lady and she wants to meet again for round 2 ,3 and more  |
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"Cause the bad stuff is easier to believe.
far harder to believe someone would compliment me, than believe an insult... Compliments always seem fake  "
Ah I didn't mean that... I just mean that the things we doubt in ourselves, when people compliment us its sometimes hard to take them graciously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of it is how to reply, you can't say yeah I know because that might come across as arrogant even if joking, you can just say thanks but then do you have to pay something nice back if so what do you say? Especially if your not attracted to them, which then leads to a awkward silence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see them pointing and whispering, that's the one with the yacht. Then a few minutes later they will start to sidle up to me.
If that's what you are after just come out With it |
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they make me feel uncomfortable because all my life, from being as small as I can remember I've had nothing but negative stuff told to me. Wont go into details, but it was from family, school and progressed to long term partners.
So if someone compliments me, I find it very difficult to believe. I feel uncomfortable. Thats why if someone calls me a fat ugly slag on here, it doesn't bother me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not too comfortable with compliments, the main reason is because I don't truely believe them myself.
The main thing is to take them gracefully anyway, something that I've only learnt in the last few years... |
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Compliments are good because they help you build your self esteem, however, you shouldn't let them go to your head so that you think you are the bee's knees, so to speak.
Constructive criticism can be just as advantageous as a well directed compliment.
All things in moderation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not too comfortable with compliments, the main reason is because I don't truely believe them myself.
The main thing is to take them gracefully anyway, something that I've only learnt in the last few years..."
Snap Salted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not too comfortable with compliments, the main reason is because I don't truely believe them myself.
The main thing is to take them gracefully anyway, something that I've only learnt in the last few years..."
This is how I feel- never really had compliments and always end up tongue tied how to reply as a result.
Have started to warm to them, seem to be more forthcoming since being single again, but still can catch me unaware.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love compliments when said sincerely. On here however, they are just things said randomly to many others. So I never take them seriously, but thank them all the same... |
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Oh I dont know why , I am terrible at accepting compliments not believing in my self at all. Someone was kind to me today as he always has been over the years I have known him. He must mean what he says or he wouldnt keep coming back.
I really should accept with a smile |
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Im terable at taking them never no what to say.....I posted a thread a week or to ago about my doughter an how id let her down an a few comented how nice it was but id just posted how I felt an dident expect much responce when ppl did it flummoxed me had no idea how to respond.....mad really |
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It depends for me. If someone compliments me on something I don't think is good ie my hair, or how pretty I look. I make a joke of it, turn bright red and run and hide. If I'm complimented on something I believe to be true ie cute bum, then I'll smile and say Thank you.
However, in a swing club, I don't believe any compliment!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its a mixture of things. If you were brought up to give compliments and received them in return. Then when people say it in passing. You are used to it and know how to respond to it. If on the other hand you had a bad past where your confidence gets shattered then its hard to know when someone genuinely means it or if they are telling you what you want to hear. Not only that, but if they knew the compliment was genuine. They wouldn't know how to react as its their first one and aren't use to having them often.
I for one can't take them either. |
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Well, well, well, you have all surprised me ! I would have thought that a genuine compliment, well meant with no ulterior motive and delivered in a respectful manner would have been well received.
I always thought that to be the case, truly.
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"I think its a mixture of things. If you were brought up to give compliments and received them in return. Then when people say it in passing. You are used to it and know how to respond to it. If on the other hand you had a bad past where your confidence gets shattered then its hard to know when someone genuinely means it or if they are telling you what you want to hear. Not only that, but if they knew the compliment was genuine. They wouldn't know how to react as its their first one and aren't use to having them often.
I for one can't take them either."
ye that ^ good post mate like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love compliments 
However if they are simply compliments to get in my knickers then i do roll my eyes lol... "
What if someone compliments on how lovely you look in your knickers or even say your knickers look nice? |
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"I love compliments
However if they are simply compliments to get in my knickers then i do roll my eyes lol...
cheeky your gorgeous come here an giz a shag
not tonight i am washing my Hair.... "
god damn it that was my best line too |
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Compliments: A polite expression of praise or admiration.
Regardless of our social, religious, ethnic or politcal background, we are not used to being praised so as we grow up it becomes more difficult to accept praise and expressions of admiration. In this very cynical world we tend to assume that someone paying us a compliment is after something, a favour, some help, money...The above is only my opnion but I think it applies to a large number of people on this planet.
Personally I was brought up to look up to others (not forgeting the fact that everyone is taller than me Lol), they were always taller, kinder, richer, smarter, more educated, with better kids, a better job, better house, faster car, even their pets were better than mine apparently etc...
I now accept polite expressions of praise and admiration because they make me feel good and I will take a ray of sunhine anywhere I can take it. I also give myself a pat on the back when I have achieved something...nobody can say that one is not heart felt or genuine! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not too good on compliments. I think it stems from hang ups I have about myself. Therefore if ssomeone pays a compliment I find it hard to accept. And I don't want to set myself up for a fall by believing it.
I think a lot of it comes from how image is portrayed by the press etc. I know that not everyone can look nice, pretty, toned etc. But it doesn't stop me wanting to be perfect. Which I know I'm not. "
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have been told that I have a force field around me to reject compliments and that people are hurt that I can't accept their compliments. I am working on it.
As to the why, others have already said it their posts. |
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"I'm not too good on compliments. I think it stems from hang ups I have about myself. Therefore if ssomeone pays a compliment I find it hard to accept. And I don't want to set myself up for a fall by believing it.
I think a lot of it comes from how image is portrayed by the press etc. I know that not everyone can look nice, pretty,
toned etc. But it doesn't stop me
wanting to be perfect. Which I know I'm
not. "
I like your pegs, your chastity thing and your Buzz Lightyear outfit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase  My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always getting told off for not accepting complements I get told I need to start seeing what others see I just can't do that xx "
We never see ourselves they way others see us... Sometimes wish I could have the power to see what others see. Now that's when I would start to believe! |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though "
You do have elegant legs though and there is no reason to say that other than because it's true and one ought to compliment you on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
You do have elegant legs though and there is no reason to say that other than because it's true and one ought to compliment you on them. "
Aw thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though "
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public "
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol "
Can I call you luscious?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol
Can I call you luscious? "
Of course you can Miss Bambi |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol
Can I call you luscious?
Of course you can Miss Bambi "
You've made me very happy and made my day! |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol "
there all ex for a resen an I bet iv more than you an trust me weman are just as croul
gota say the I agree with the rest on here love your pins xxx |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol
there all ex for a resen an I bet iv more than you an trust me weman are just as croul
gota say the I agree with the rest on here love your pins xxx"
You really have a way with words Mr Blade xxx My vocab is getting so colourful thanks to you Lol |
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol
there all ex for a resen an I bet iv more than you an trust me weman are just as croul
gota say the I agree with the rest on here love your pins xxx
You really have a way with words Mr Blade xxx My vocab is getting so colourful thanks to you Lol "
is that a good thing or bad ??? |
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Compliments and appreciation are made of so many ingredients...it does not have to be a word or a sentence, it can be a look, the way someone turns when you walk past, wolf whistling, how they eys drop to their hands when you stare at them, how only garbled words come out of their mouth when they speak to you...so many ingredients...
anyone can think of others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In real life or on fab?
On fab..they don't make me feel uncomfortable at all as most of it is shitz and giggles.
In real life..it can do
Especially if it is from someone that barely knows me.
I'm always suspicious of compliments that are either from someone who doesn't know the first thing about me or if it's too OTT.
On fab..I don't mind. Unless I get a really fucking weirdo OTT message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accept compliments too well as I don't have a high opinion of myself, if that's the right phrase My ex hubby had a habit of humiliating me in public so I'm more used to being put down than complimented. I'm getting better though
So if you're in a public place and someone you're with says "Shut it sexy". Do you take that as a put down or a compliment? Lol. I can't stand people who put people down at all. Nevermind in public
lol if someone calls me sexy, that's fine It's not a nice or clever thing to do. Especially from someone I was married to! He's an ex for a reason lol "
What's isn't a clever thing to do. Calling you sexy and to shut up in public or putting you down? Lol. Good for you though. Wish all woken would ditch blokes who treat them like that. Don't you agree sexy |
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"Compliments and appreciation are made of so many ingredients...it does not have to be a word or a sentence, it can be a look, the way someone turns when you walk past, wolf whistling, how they eys drop to their hands when you stare at them, how only garbled words come out of their mouth when they speak to you...so many ingredients...
anyone can think of others?"
Well, loved the way your sexy ass pointed at me when we went bowling
Hopefully that's a compliment |
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"If they do that is...... "
They don't generally as I know I'm awesome...to my loved ones and the best mum in the world ...to my children.
From strangers trying to get into my pants: please...flattery gets you nowhere! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compliments and appreciation are made of so many ingredients...it does not have to be a word or a sentence, it can be a look, the way someone turns when you walk past, wolf whistling, how they eys drop to their hands when you stare at them, how only garbled words come out of their mouth when they speak to you...so many ingredients...
anyone can think of others?"
A smile. A random text. A peck on the cheek at a random moment. Love those.
I don't like compliments from people off sites like these... For obvious reasons.
Heartfelt compliments that are like above, then yes. |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"who the hell is stupid enough to insult someone on here . of course your going to get compliments . i wont get far with hey you bag of spanners fancy a shag"
You would fuck someone you thought looked like a bag of spanners? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it weird people put tasty pics up and dont let them be fabbedWhy is that weird? "
cos I like to show appreciation for the pic..and its not by cuming on it |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I find it weird people put tasty pics up and dont let them be fabbedWhy is that weird?
cos I like to show appreciation for the pic..and its not by cuming on it "
You can always say ...."I like your pic" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do tend to think that they are being given out of a sense of courtesy, as if scripted, rather than being heartfelt.
They don't make me uncomfortable, I can just take em or leave em. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it weird people put tasty pics up and dont let them be fabbedWhy is that weird?
cos I like to show appreciation for the pic..and its not by cuming on it You can always say ...."I like your pic" "
I'm shy n u know it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it hard to accept compliments .i deal better with negative stuff ,wiered i know but nice stuffs make me feel to humbled and i never know what to say .poppyxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it hard to accept compliments .i deal better with negative stuff ,wiered i know but nice stuffs make me feel to humbled and i never know what to say .poppyxx"
ur pics dont make me wanna wank on u! |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I find it weird people put tasty pics up and dont let them be fabbedWhy is that weird?
cos I like to show appreciation for the pic..and its not by cuming on it You can always say ...."I like your pic"
I'm shy n u know it x"
Are you really? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it weird people put tasty pics up and dont let them be fabbedWhy is that weird?
cos I like to show appreciation for the pic..and its not by cuming on it You can always say ...."I like your pic"
I'm shy n u know it xAre you really? "
only around u |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it hard to accept compliments .i deal better with negative stuff ,wiered i know but nice stuffs make me feel to humbled and i never know what to say .poppyxx
ur pics dont make me wanna wank on u! "
good i bet your mum is glad young man.xxxpoppyxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it hard to accept compliments .i deal better with negative stuff ,wiered i know but nice stuffs make me feel to humbled and i never know what to say .poppyxx
ur pics dont make me wanna wank on u! good i bet your mum is glad young man.xxxpoppyxx "
shame she has to handwash my wankingsocks |
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N
I know what I mean! 