FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Couples only female half swapping

Couples only female half swapping

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi myself and husband came to swinging just to watch see whats happening etc. Since then we've got more involved and tried new things and decided now that we like idea of 2 guys. However he isn't happy with single guys and only wants to meet couples, since one single guy stupidly was chatting to him about his wife at home and that he'd never let her do this. So now we have issue that he's demanding couples but female half of couple will not be involed, maybe fem to fem etc and then I can have 2 guys. I think this is never going to happen. What do u guys think? To make it worse I only want blk guys so looking for couples with blk guys (near impossible)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi welcome to the forums,

Just a question but whilst the male half of the couple and your OH are entertaining you, what's the other fem meant to do?

You may struggle in finding what your looking for.

Personally if we don't ALL play, then there's no play!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Surely single men that are playing with their partners permission are the obvious solution?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I agree what will female do? I can't understand his logic with this. So I want him to see that it isn't really possible

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

swinging in a couple is a 2 way thing, you have to respect the others wishes or you have no relationship.

so basically he want you spoilt by 2 blokes, but he doesn't want to play with anothers girl?

You'll find that, it will take a bit longer perhaps.. it's usually the other way round which would be difficult.

The amount of unhappy ladies in couples in the LS we have met would be happy for that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Good idea about single men with other halfs permission we'll have to look out for that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

His thought was that he's bringing me whilst the single guy wouldn't bring their partner to do this. I think that was his issue, but this is now making it so difficult to find meets. We went to a club last night and had loads if offers but no blk guys and the woman obviously wanted to play with him. I've said it's waste of our time going to clubs anymore as this probably will always happen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You may also want to reconsider tarring all singlemen with the same brush based on one idiot;s comments?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've said this, not all guys will be the same. We've met some great guys and loved our play as did he. This comment was months ago and has totally ruined swinging since then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

to the OP

Try a Black Mans Fan Club event.

Plenty of respectful single guys.

http://www.fabswingers.com/profile/bmfc_parties

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love black mans fan club, there always great nights

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is that why we have people approaching us asking to meet just John? Because they assume as we're swingers I'll agree to it / anything goes kind of thing.

I can assure you for this lady that is not the case.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know I can't think any lady would like and agree to this idea he has. We're stuck watching and just each other at moment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love black mans fan club, there always great nights"

Best to stick to those then.

The hosts/event runners know the people there better than anyone (club owners tend not to get involved so much) and they are the ones to ask for respectful reliable guys.

You guy will get used to socialising with the single guys there, get to know them better and feel happier for it.

Take some numbers and outside of the events stick to guys you know well from those events.

Just dont meet new people privately until you feel you know them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Problem with black mans fan club loads single guys which he doesn't like. Always go to them but we end up only playing with each other. Defeats purpose of swinging. I agree best place to find inter racial couples tho. Still think female half won't want to sit at side and just watch or let her partner go off. I know this would never happen for me. To see him with someone else is a turn off not turn on. He loves to watch me play with both men and women which I love. It's a difficult one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Married (happily). Playing with wife's permission. We tried together but she says its not for her at this time. However, she's happy for me to have fun, as long as she knows where I'm going.

I could ask her if she'd like to make lunch / dinner whilst were playing

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"You may also want to reconsider tarring all singlemen with the same brush based on one idiot;s comments?"

Thing is, with the best will in the world it's hard not to in some cases I'm afraid.

I used to always accommodate whether the man could or not. My daughter was coming home from uni and I mentioned to my playmate (we were in my bed at the time) that we'd have to meet at his house the following week.

He said, and I quote: "sorry, I don't invite swingers into my home, it's not a knocking shop!"

After I'd chucked the cheeky bastard out of my house I decided that no one comes into my house that can't invite me to theirs and I don't care what their reason is as all I hear is "my house isn't a knocking shop!"

It may seem unfair to those I exclude, but that comes under the heading of "too bad!" really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You may also want to reconsider tarring all singlemen with the same brush based on one idiot;s comments?

Thing is, with the best will in the world it's hard not to in some cases I'm afraid.

He said, and I quote: "sorry, I don't invite swingers into my home, it's not a knocking shop!"

It may seem unfair to those I exclude, but that comes under the heading of "too bad!" really."

That's so bad, what a cheeky guy. I can see where he's coming from, this guy didn't know he had me there and was going on and on about how much he liked me and how he wanted a good fuck and then get back before his wife goes mad. Brad just was quite and came to me and suggested we go. To make it worse it was a small gang bang party so was very obvious but the guy in question looked embarrassed as we left. Thankfully it was single girl we are really good friends with text her after we'd gone and she understood. That's spoiled it now for other genuine single guys

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

There are plenty of genuine single men on the site.

Consider a social meet in a coffee shop or pub so the three of you can establish boundaries and suss each other out before there is any commitment to play - better to find out over a coffee that he was fibbing then when he's trying to hurry things cos his phone keeps ringing and it's his wife!

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

Do you think that he's imposing these virtually impossible to meet criteria because he doesn't really want to be swinging at all? Z

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"You may also want to reconsider tarring all singlemen with the same brush based on one idiot;s comments?

Thing is, with the best will in the world it's hard not to in some cases I'm afraid.

He said, and I quote: "sorry, I don't invite swingers into my home, it's not a knocking shop!"

It may seem unfair to those I exclude, but that comes under the heading of "too bad!" really.

Sadly, that's the reality. I know there are men that genuinely can't accommodate, but I can't erase the "my house isn't a knocking" shop comment: I think they see their home as sacrosanct.

Shame really.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Do you think that he's imposing these virtually impossible to meet criteria because he doesn't really want to be swinging at all? Z"

The thought did occur to me too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We meet a couple who have the same rules as you. The m only plays with his wife and me and silk only play with her. It is the perfect scenario for us as I don't want to play with other men but love watching Silk with other women.

It works well for us as its hard to find another couple where I don't feel I have to justify why I don't play with men or feel under pressure in some way.

MissD

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you think that he's imposing these virtually impossible to meet criteria because he doesn't really want to be swinging at all? Z

The thought did occur to me too.

It crossed my mind too. The scenario you quite, you adapted the way you go about swinging to stop a repeat of an unpleasent eperience. But the OP has put rules in place that make it virtually impossible

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We meet a couple who have the same rules as you. The m only plays with his wife and me and silk only play with her. It is the perfect scenario for us as I don't want to play with other men but love watching Silk with other women.

It works well for us as its hard to find another couple where I don't feel I have to justify why I don't play with men or feel under pressure in some way.

MissD

Thanks we'll keep trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you think that he's imposing these virtually impossible to meet criteria because he doesn't really want to be swinging at all? Z

The thought did occur to me too.

Maybe this is the case, but he's always on the site asking if there's anything in etc. see how it goes x

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By *iss__KittyWoman over a year ago

somewhere in Cornwall

The only thing I can think of is if the male is a Bull/Dom who cuckolds his partner. This meets all your requirements as he can instruct his partner to sit quietly by while you and he play.

You could try some cuckolding sites to see if that helps.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also thought that he is imposing these strict rules because he's not keen on the idea of swinging.

If we meet couples then I've had moments where I've sat back and watched, I don't feel the need to play every minute, but I wouldnt meet any couple on the terms that one of us would be excluded. We are a couple,

that's obviously two of us. I don't loan out my OH like a library book. Looking at the other replies many other couples aren't interested in that scenario either.

Just accept that your swinging experiences are going to be very limited if those are the rules you play by

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You may also want to reconsider tarring all singlemen with the same brush based on one idiot;s comments?"

thanks for that...there are plenty of REALLY single men around

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious."

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part. "

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

I've showed him this, to show how difficult it will be and he's in a sulk suggesting we leave swinging all together. Which isn't what I wanted or intended to prove. I wanted him to see its weird and almost impossible to achieve.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

It's not weird it's his preference and just because its not the norm doesn't mean it's any less valid then other people's fantasies. It just means accepting that it will be a little harder to find then the norm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

Yeah I guess so, we need just to keep searching and trying. Thanks for your input x

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

To be honest with you I'd be less than happy if my partner discussed me like this in a forum trying to canvas opinion to prove me wrong then described me in the same forum as being "in a sulk".

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious."

Exactly what I was thinking - maybe he doesn't want to bring it up but he feels it's unfair that you don't want him to play with other females.

If a couple requested Craig meet them and he wanted to I wouldn't mind at all. He has a singles account for that. Although if they asked for us both to turn up but me sit out I'd not be too happy!

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By *imjohnCouple over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

Exactly what I was thinking - maybe he doesn't want to bring it up but he feels it's unfair that you don't want him to play with other females.

If a couple requested Craig meet them and he wanted to I wouldn't mind at all. He has a singles account for that. Although if they asked for us both to turn up but me sit out I'd not be too happy!"

Swinging for couples means just that...we only meet couples where both play with others, its only fair your hubby can do the same as you otherwise its gonna go tits up.

Rethink the situation as swinging might ruin your relationship in the long run, if you have the concerns about hubbys involvement with women it won't get any easier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

Perhaps he is right, perhaps swinging just isn't for you as a couple!

You seem to lack communication with each other, and have to say that I wouldn't be to happy if my OH had put up a thread to discuss my wants/not wants up in a public forum!

Trust and lots of communication are key for a couple if they want to try swinging

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"I am wondering if he possibly resents the fact that you get other men, but don't want him having other women?

By insisting in couples rather than single men, he may be trying to bring other women into the picture, without making it obvious.

I wondered that too.

I've played as a couple with other couples where one of them will only play with my bloke. It's all been a bit weird and made me feel like a spare part.

I've asked him outright n he's said no but maybe there's an element to it. I agree it's weird n female would feel like a spare part that's why we've not done it.

Who's idea is it not to include other women?

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