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What inanimate object has it in for you?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Blusher

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Blusher "
Has it attacked you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to..... "

I loathe the bastard stuff. Its formed from concentrated evil.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hoover.....its decided to only suck with one attachment.....and not the attachment that makes hoovering easy

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By *H91Man  over a year ago

E

The shed door frame, I'll end up knocking myself out one of these days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

anything i range of my head or feet- I could enter a stadium and kick the only delicate object there....then bang my head on something when I try and run away before anyone notices

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Blusher Has it attacked you? "

It attacked my bank balance lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Straighteners - they always attack my skin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Straighteners - they always attack my skin

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I do ok with inanimate objects, but hamsters attack me on sight for some bizarre reason. The most placid and happy go lucky household pet turns into a ravenous berserker as soon as I walk through the door.

My wife doesn't help. When I get in from work, she shouts, 'Dinner's here!' to them.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Straighteners - they always attack my skin "

Oh yes I burn my ears

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By *ibbyhunterCouple  over a year ago

keighley

corned beef tins , nearly lost fingers in the past

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

cheese triangles

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter

The step into / out of my shower .. always catching my right foot as i step into or out off.. No specs misjudge bloody ouch.!!!

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By *livia_KWoman  over a year ago

South London

Self serve bloody checkouts. Stupid things never work properly for me and then I look like an idiot having to call over a staff member who just tell me I'm doing it wrong. I'm not doing it wrong, the machine is just stupid and has it in for me!

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"cheese triangles "
Lmao.....let me guess by the time you get the wrapper off they are no longer Triangles?

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By *livia_KWoman  over a year ago

South London


"Straighteners - they always attack my skin "

I once burnt my head with an iron! When I was a teenager and had really long hair I used to iron it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Straighteners - they always attack my skin

Oh yes I burn my ears "

Dont use them to straighten your ears then. You don't suit the 'Spock' look anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I do ok with inanimate objects, but hamsters attack me on sight for some bizarre reason. The most placid and happy go lucky household pet turns into a ravenous berserker as soon as I walk through the door.

My wife doesn't help. When I get in from work, she shouts, 'Dinner's here!' to them. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The tow bar on my car is constantly attacking me. Im covered in bruises. Everytime I put anything in the boot I bang my legs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"cheese triangles Lmao.....let me guess by the time you get the wrapper off they are no longer Triangles?"

more like road kill

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to..... "

Use real condoms then....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Self serve bloody checkouts. Stupid things never work properly for me and then I look like an idiot having to call over a staff member who just tell me I'm doing it wrong. I'm not doing it wrong, the machine is just stupid and has it in for me! "

Whoever invented those self serve checkouts needs to be hung by their dangly bits from a rather tall building. Everything I use one it f&&ks up on me grrrr

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My garden, can I pick my garden .. Grrrr these stingy things just keep sprouting up unannounced and by eck they do attack!!!

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By *opping_candyWoman  over a year ago

West Yorkshire

My kitchen cupboards. Seems like every time I open the high* ones something launches itself at me. If I'm lucky it'll be something soft like a bag of pasta. If I'm unlucky a tin of beans. And one time, a vase from the top of the cupboard fell and hit me on the head and actually knocked me out.

*high as in height, I don't think they smoke.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

my crutches ..when i'm d*unk they don't work properly !!!

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My garden, can I pick my garden .. Grrrr these stingy things just keep sprouting up unannounced and by eck they do attack!!!"
Stop throwing your knickers out there then and use a washing machine you dirty girl.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My garden, can I pick my garden .. Grrrr these stingy things just keep sprouting up unannounced and by eck they do attack!!!"

so long as they're not causing a nasty itch

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"my crutches ..when i'm d*unk they don't work properly !!!"

But they weren't designed to be used to flag down taxis and buses, neither were they to be used as some to hold onto when riding some chaps cock

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The loft ladder ........... one of these days its gonna chop my hand off ........ I have been banned from going in the loft now

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By *ire_bladeMan  over a year ago

Manchester

The telly remote....damn thing keeps hidding in the fridge grrrr

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The living-room door frame, it's always getting in my way.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Chuffing pepper grinder... Fell out of the cupboard , about 3000 little black marbles all over the kitchen floor ! Ffs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My garden, can I pick my garden .. Grrrr these stingy things just keep sprouting up unannounced and by eck they do attack!!!Stop throwing your knickers out there then and use a washing machine you dirty girl. "

I tried that

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Chuffing pepper grinder... Fell out of the cupboard , about 3000 little black marbles all over the kitchen floor ! Ffs "
.....that made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My garden, can I pick my garden .. Grrrr these stingy things just keep sprouting up unannounced and by eck they do attack!!!

so long as they're not causing a nasty itch "

Only if they get ya!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to..... "

I have the exact same problem with women

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women "

You are picking the wrong ones then....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Tables I just stubbed me toe...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Tables I just stubbed me toe... "

Aww will suck it better

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then.... "

You the right one?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Tables I just stubbed me toe...

Aww will suck it better "

I wouldn't they are minging lol

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then....

You the right one? "

No, I'm far too animated and complicated and exasperated.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Tables I just stubbed me toe... "

I find that strange as every woman I know who does that Stubbs their toe whereas myself and people I know tend to bang the bit Inbetween the two toes and that hurts a lot more. However I will be glad to kiss it better for you and attend to your every need.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then....

You the right one? "

She would eat you alive...l

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then....

You the right one? No, I'm far too animated and complicated and exasperated. "

And the queen of expanding ones vocabulary, lol. Well as you say you aren't the right one. You can always point me out in the right direction, lol.

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Wires, damned bloody wires, like feckin spaghetti all over the place......grrrrr they make ma blood boil....grrrrr and more grrrrrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then....

You the right one?

She would eat you alive...l "

....together with cling film???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mine has to be Clingfilm...fucking thing never does what I want it to.....

I have the exact same problem with women You are picking the wrong ones then....

You the right one?

She would eat you alive...l "

I would love to be eaten whilst awake . Secondly we all got to die of something. So might as well do something I enjoy.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

The hanging basket outside my front door. I always hit my head on it then shout at it like it's a real person that thwarted me in the head lol

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My car horn and club bag which simultaneously bang together through no fault of me to inform the street that I've just got back.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum. "

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My car horn and club bag which simultaneously bang together through no fault of me to inform the street that I've just got back. "
Literally got the horn then?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My car horn and club bag which simultaneously bang together through no fault of me to inform the street that I've just got back. Literally got the horn then? "

Not now no lol.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? "

My guy does much worse than that!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that! "

A guy with a heart here mind

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind "

You sound like the Tin man.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man. "

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man. "

Actually he wants a heart I already got one. If you want to compare me with someone. I am a mixture of the scarecrow, the lion and rocky . Although at times I may resemble the tin man as some of me does turn a bit stiff and can be mistaken for steel

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? "

That was the lion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man. :-

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? "

No it isn't. Scarecrow wanted a brain, the lion wanted courage and tin man wanted a heart.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion. "

No he wanted courage.... The scarecrow was brainless.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion. "

Wrong again.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. "

Bugger, the scarecrow

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By *risky4somesCouple  over a year ago

Near glasgow

Door handles... You walk past and suddenly your stopped in your tracks as your sleeves are caught in them flinging you back the way you came! Gets me every time

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By *ighland_RoseCouple  over a year ago

Brigadoon

Henry the Hoover...we have an abusive and destructive relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow "

So glad you put a comma in, a scarecrow with anal gape could be interesting!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow "

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson "

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman  over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson "

No I meant bugger the scarecrow.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

my ex husband

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do "

I certainly don't doubt that . I was saying though I'll teach you other things that you aren't good at and you two give me a reward for it, lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do

I certainly don't doubt that . I was saying though I'll teach you other things that you aren't good at and you two give me a reward for it, lol"

I'm like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My fecking garter belt, cant undo the straps

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson No I meant bugger the scarecrow. "

No chance of buggering you then as somebody claimed you would eat me alive

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My fecking garter belt, cant undo the straps "

Hows your flower after the tights?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do

I certainly don't doubt that . I was saying though I'll teach you other things that you aren't good at and you two give me a reward for it, lol

I'm like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way!! "

And I am like rocky. No matter how tired my opponent will make me. If I have belief I can go further I will get the job done. No matter how fiery the opponent is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh god sugar strands .... My little man decorated my kitchen floor with them one morning last week, I'm still finding them now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do

I certainly don't doubt that . I was saying though I'll teach you other things that you aren't good at and you two give me a reward for it, lol

I'm like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way!!

And I am like rocky. No matter how tired my opponent will make me. If I have belief I can go further I will get the job done. No matter how fiery the opponent is "

Must be difficult putting up with Bullwinkle though?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god sugar strands .... My little man decorated my kitchen floor with them one morning last week, I'm still finding them now"

Why is he dropping sugar all over the floor for? Surely he must realise it gets covered in sweetness every day

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My bed post, always without fail smashes my ruddy toes!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god sugar strands .... My little man decorated my kitchen floor with them one morning last week, I'm still finding them now

Why is he dropping sugar all over the floor for? Surely he must realise it gets covered in sweetness every day"

He's 3, doesn't understand things like that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My shoe cupboard door.....keeps hitting me on the bum.

I bet that's frustrating as I bet you wish it was a guy doing that? My guy does much worse than that!

A guy with a heart here mind You sound like the Tin man.

Is he the guy that sang if I only had a brain!? That was the lion.

Wrong again. Bugger, the scarecrow

Read my message before that one you quoted and you know who is who. Do I get a reward for teaching you lovely ladies a lesson

No, we don't need teaching, we are both fairly good at what we do

I certainly don't doubt that . I was saying though I'll teach you other things that you aren't good at and you two give me a reward for it, lol

I'm like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way!!

And I am like rocky. No matter how tired my opponent will make me. If I have belief I can go further I will get the job done. No matter how fiery the opponent is

Must be difficult putting up with Bullwinkle though? "

You mean Irwin winkler?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god sugar strands .... My little man decorated my kitchen floor with them one morning last week, I'm still finding them now

Why is he dropping sugar all over the floor for? Surely he must realise it gets covered in sweetness every day

He's 3, doesn't understand things like that "

At that age I wouldn't know how to word things, but I would still know how to compare two things that are the same

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the overhang of my staircase and the extractor hood in the kitchen insist in cracking me hard on the head at any given opportunity

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