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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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why do people get married these days?
Marriage came about as an institution instructed by God.
So when vows are taken is it now these days as part of a religious commitment to god or just a way of making a commitment to each other?
So when you say your vows do they actually apply to that extent these days? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage has been around longer than Christianity..and wasn't always about god. 
I would never get married again. Should not have done so In the first place... But felt obliged. |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
I always said I would never get married. I didn't see the point in it, saw it as just a piece of paper and an excuse for having a party.
When I met my hubby I changed my mind and eventually it was me who asked him.
We have no religious beliefs. For us it was a commitment to each other and an _xpression of how much we love each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course people believe their vows when they take them. Unfortunately many don't realise what it actually entails; the pressures, the ups the downs etc. Sometimes life just strips away things and changes and takes you on paths you didn't expect. There's a difference between not taking vows seriously and making an effort and growing apart in life.
The very people who point fingers for someones failures are usually the same who pick and choose what things they think as right and wrong to suit themselves. Just a perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Marriage has been around longer than Christianity..and wasn't always about god.
I would never get married again. Should not have done so In the first place... But felt obliged. "
so what was marriage created for?
there must of been a reason |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i got married because i had a baby.
in a registry office as am an atheist."
what difference did having a baby have tho?
altho im thinking it was the legal rights over the child which have only recently started to change..
as before a father wasnt classed as anything unless he was married to the mother? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course people believe their vows when they take them. Unfortunately many don't realise what it actually entails; the pressures, the ups the downs etc. Sometimes life just strips away things and changes and takes you on paths you didn't expect. There's a difference between not taking vows seriously and making an effort and growing apart in life.
The very people who point fingers for someones failures are usually the same who pick and choose what things they think as right and wrong to suit themselves. Just a perspective. "
i was married, but realised i had done so for all the wrong reasons and so i ended it.. i thought it was what was expected of everyone i guess..
but i did very much chose to have my son and who knows what life may throw at me and him.. but no matter what i will always be there.. |
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The problem with marriage for me is until death do us part. I could only get married again if the contract was until boredom, infidelity,irritation do us part
But then there wouldn't be a lot of point
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage has been around longer than Christianity..and wasn't always about god.
I would never get married again. Should not have done so In the first place... But felt obliged.
so what was marriage created for?
there must of been a reason"
for the man's claim to the woman. It was originally a exchange between the father and the husband of property.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course people believe their vows when they take them. Unfortunately many don't realise what it actually entails; the pressures, the ups the downs etc. Sometimes life just strips away things and changes and takes you on paths you didn't expect. There's a difference between not taking vows seriously and making an effort and growing apart in life.
The very people who point fingers for someones failures are usually the same who pick and choose what things they think as right and wrong to suit themselves. Just a perspective.
i was married, but realised i had done so for all the wrong reasons and so i ended it.. i thought it was what was expected of everyone i guess..
but i did very much chose to have my son and who knows what life may throw at me and him.. but no matter what i will always be there.. "
And I applaud that. But I'm sure when you initially took those vows you trully intended to follow them.
My point ? Everyone's life is a unique path walked only by them. No one else should judge another until they have trodden in the others shoes no matter how bad another's choices |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i wasnt getting on with my parents, they didnt want me in the house, i was scared of being on my own with a baby.
i wanted to be married so i could have regular sex, you cant just go out looking for men when you have a baby. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Marriage has been around longer than Christianity..and wasn't always about god.
I would never get married again. Should not have done so In the first place... But felt obliged.
so what was marriage created for?
there must of been a reason
for the man's claim to the woman. It was originally a exchange between the father and the husband of property.
"
but that isnt what the whole marriage ceremony is based on these days..
today in the church of england it is based on what is said in the bible..
so if someone marries in a register office what are they commiting to? what is the purpose? what is explained in the ceremony? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i wasnt getting on with my parents, they didnt want me in the house, i was scared of being on my own with a baby.
i wanted to be married so i could have regular sex, you cant just go out looking for men when you have a baby."
could u not be with a man and not married to him? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course people believe their vows when they take them. Unfortunately many don't realise what it actually entails; the pressures, the ups the downs etc. Sometimes life just strips away things and changes and takes you on paths you didn't expect. There's a difference between not taking vows seriously and making an effort and growing apart in life.
The very people who point fingers for someones failures are usually the same who pick and choose what things they think as right and wrong to suit themselves. Just a perspective.
i was married, but realised i had done so for all the wrong reasons and so i ended it.. i thought it was what was expected of everyone i guess..
but i did very much chose to have my son and who knows what life may throw at me and him.. but no matter what i will always be there..
And I applaud that. But I'm sure when you initially took those vows you trully intended to follow them.
My point ? Everyone's life is a unique path walked only by them. No one else should judge another until they have trodden in the others shoes no matter how bad another's choices "
no i didnt marry with any intent to stick to the vows.. i remember thinking how i wasnt going to stick to commitment etc.. but i guess like teenagers, its hard to fight against peer pressure when your young and stupid |
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When I met my ex husband I was 24 at the time it was the age people started to settle down. I thought it was what I wanted and then a baby. I'd not get married again, not because I'm against marriage but because I don't want live with anyone. I'm in a wonderful relationship and we live seperately and can't see that changing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course people believe their vows when they take them. Unfortunately many don't realise what it actually entails; the pressures, the ups the downs etc. Sometimes life just strips away things and changes and takes you on paths you didn't expect. There's a difference between not taking vows seriously and making an effort and growing apart in life.
The very people who point fingers for someones failures are usually the same who pick and choose what things they think as right and wrong to suit themselves. Just a perspective.
i was married, but realised i had done so for all the wrong reasons and so i ended it.. i thought it was what was expected of everyone i guess..
but i did very much chose to have my son and who knows what life may throw at me and him.. but no matter what i will always be there..
And I applaud that. But I'm sure when you initially took those vows you trully intended to follow them.
My point ? Everyone's life is a unique path walked only by them. No one else should judge another until they have trodden in the others shoes no matter how bad another's choices
no i didnt marry with any intent to stick to the vows.. i remember thinking how i wasnt going to stick to commitment etc.. but i guess like teenagers, its hard to fight against peer pressure when your young and stupid"
Then I'm sorry to hear that as that's a shame, but you obviously found the courage to be strong in the face of adversity later in life.
Being honest about what you want and being able to _xpress it is very empowering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been married and i certainly don't see it as a commitment under God. It's a commitment between two ppl that have choosen to spend their time together.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've never been married and i certainly don't see it as a commitment under God. It's a commitment between two ppl that have choosen to spend their time together.."
so marriage these days is more a commitment to love each other.. and the rest can be interpretated as what is expected within the marriage? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Marriage can mean many different things to many people. With reference to god do you mean Christian Hindu seek Muslim every faith has different beliefs "
well i guess being brought up in a church of england country and being taught that mainly at school.. its the only one i know..
not really sure what others promise in front of their gods.. but it is still done under their beliefs right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was so the broken ones could be used as cannon fodder in the swinging chat forum  "
Lmao....yep there's always a new guy sticking his head over the parapet to argue and justify their position.
As the incoming fire zeroes in, the old sweats calmly shake their heads in safety. |
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By *xpresMan
over a year ago
Elland |
"Marriage has been around longer than Christianity..and wasn't always about god.
I would never get married again. Should not have done so In the first place... But felt obliged. "
I never even asked my exwife to marry me ..
Went with the flo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i gues sim kinda curious why people feel the need to make a commitment to another personj by using marriage and doing it in front of people rather than just making the commitment to your other half..
i do think too deep sometimes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got married, she left after 6 weeks.
It almost destroyed me.
--
Would I get married again? Yes
Am I crazy? Possibly
Am I an incurable romantic? Definitely.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i gues sim kinda curious why people feel the need to make a commitment to another personj by using marriage and doing it in front of people rather than just making the commitment to your other half..
i do think too deep sometimes "
I wasn't arsed either way....it's a piece of paper as far as I am concerned. Refused to do it in a church though. I do have some standards. I think a LOT of blokes only ask/go along with it, because they think they have to. And to be fair women (in society) tend to make it known that if the relationship isn't heading towards marriage, then they will find someone who wants to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got married, she left after 6 weeks.
It almost destroyed me.
--
Would I get married again? Yes
Am I crazy? Possibly
Am I an incurable romantic? Definitely.
"
Will you marry me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i gues sim kinda curious why people feel the need to make a commitment to another personj by using marriage and doing it in front of people rather than just making the commitment to your other half..
i do think too deep sometimes
I wasn't arsed either way....it's a piece of paper as far as I am concerned. Refused to do it in a church though. I do have some standards. I think a LOT of blokes only ask/go along with it, because they think they have to. And to be fair women (in society) tend to make it known that if the relationship isn't heading towards marriage, then they will find someone who wants to."
Interesting.. So maybe some people do it as a way of holding on to the person and makes them feel its a true dedication, even if the other feels the way u do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got married, she left after 6 weeks.
It almost destroyed me.
--
Would I get married again? Yes
Am I crazy? Possibly
Am I an incurable romantic? Definitely.
Will you marry me "
Of course, but one of us has got to move closer first!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd get married, I believe in marriage but it wouldn't be a marriage that wasn't a swinging one - I couldn't do that.
However the wedding I wanted could never happen as my dad isn't here, so it'll be a quiet wedding with my nearest and dearest there.
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I married at 20: I was in love. 32 years later I still love him. It was the death of our only son that drove us apart: we grieved separately.
He had two sons with a former girlfriend I was his wife and our son was "broken": I was resentful if I'm honest and resented him not being able to take my pain away.
I couldn't live with someone who wasn't my husband. I'm not religious, for me it's a commitment, a declaration of love as it were, and yes, I'd love to get married again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got married, she left after 6 weeks.
It almost destroyed me.
--
Would I get married again? Yes
Am I crazy? Possibly
Am I an incurable romantic? Definitely.
Will you marry me
Of course, but one of us has got to move closer first!
"
Ha ha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In some cases a woman has baggage and needs a home. Eventually the baggage takes over and the male becomes celibate not through choice. Marriage in this day and age needs a get out clause other than an expensive divorce. |
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