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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
I'm curious. 
The other thread running about finding love or indeed looking for love on a swinging site got me to thinking... why is this the wrong place to find love?
Who made that rule? What's the theory behind it? What difference would it make for someone to add a paragraph to their profile to say they are open to finding a potential partner? Or does that muddy the waters on a swinging site?
I've always said that I wouldn't look here either but I can't decide (or perhaps can't remember) the reason not to. 
I'm not currently looking for a partner but if/when I decide I am going to, the thought of joining the likes of Match or POF leaves me pretty cold. I'm not vanilla so don't really have the urge to wade through a whole pile of vanilla profiles on a vanilla site (no offense to vanillas obviously) so where else would you look?
I guess it's a shame the Fab Flirts site didn't take off (or did it and I've not looked?) cause I dare say that was the theory behind that.
I guess I'm just curious as to why people would appear to be slated for looking for more than casual sex on a site full of like-minded kinksters? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would not contact anyone who’s profile included text explaining they were looking for a relationship and I would not accept an offer to meet made by anyone who was in the market to find a life partner on here..  |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I would not contact anyone who’s profile included text explaining they were looking for a relationship and I would not accept an offer to meet made by anyone who was in the market to find a life partner on here.. "
I'm not sure I would either but that's because it's not what I'm looking for.
Why is it not okay to say that you are looking for that though Soxy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would not contact anyone who’s profile included text explaining they were looking for a relationship and I would not accept an offer to meet made by anyone who was in the market to find a life partner on here..
I'm not sure I would either but that's because it's not what I'm looking for.
Why is it not okay to say that you are looking for that though Soxy? "
I don’t have a problem with anything anyone includes on their profile that clearly explains what they offer and expect with potential swinging partners…… !!!
If someone is hoping to find a life partner here, I wish them good luck……but because it’s not something I find appealing I’d steer a wide berth from any profile that included wording to that effect.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMHO, for those who truly seek NSA fun means just that, no string attached, and that includes no emotional or financial attachment or dependence.
By all means look for love via FAB, and there had been some notable success stories that I am aware of since I joined FAB in Aug 2009.
However, please do not expect others to want the same in return.
To some, myself included, sex is just a recreational activity that they enjoy from time to time.
Those who do not seek love or emotional attachment/dependence that would "fuck and go" are not cold-hearted bastards, providing they are upfront about what they want and don't want, and do not string people along just to get their legs over.
Finding a soul mate that shares views, opinions, morals and values in the vanilla world is hard enough as it is, and it would be a lot harder to find one that would accept the idea of multiple partners past, present and future.
Forever talking about life would be so much better with a special someone to share with implies one is not happy with his/her life as it is. It reeks of neediness and desperation, which is not particularly attractive.
And don't get me started about spongers and those looking for meal tickets in the name of love!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im the same as Miss Cheekychops .. if it found me on here then great
He would have to very patient though and settle for 6 dates a year 
I think you can find love anywhere - just because you find it on here doesn't take its authenticity away does it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx |
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By *ald6974Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because theipy have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx "
TOSHN....DONT WANT YOU TO FEEL SLATED...BUT WOTS THE DIFFERNCE BETWEEN 20 VERIS ON HERE AND YOUR "FIANCEE" IN THE FUTURE WHO GOT NAILED 13 NITES ON THE BOUNCE ON THE GIRLS 2 WEEK HOLIDAY IN MAGALUF, THEN THE YEAR AFTER SHE TRIED BETTERING IT TO 26 IN HAIYANAPA...?? |
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It's not that people can't..... it's just a few things make it not recommended, such as....
People will play you to get a shag.... more so on here than other places.
A lot of the singles on here who are looking for love (openly or not) are fucked up with so much baggage they'd have a £6k charge to use Ryanair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx "
Lol not everyone on here is here because they were hurt just for most this lifestyle matches their life...relationships an be time consuming...I get where your coming from in a way,although if i really liked someone their previous sex life would be irrelevant |
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By *ald6974Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"It's not that people can't..... it's just a few things make it not recommended, such as....
People will play you to get a shag.... more so on here than other places.
A lot of the singles on here who are looking for love (openly or not) are fucked up with so much baggage they'd have a £6k charge to use Ryanair"
......hence the primark shoebox?? Lol kidding, loved ur comment.....u wanna get married?? Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because theipy have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx
TOSHN....DONT WANT YOU TO FEEL SLATED...BUT WOTS THE DIFFERNCE BETWEEN 20 VERIS ON HERE AND YOUR "FIANCEE" IN THE FUTURE WHO GOT NAILED 13 NITES ON THE BOUNCE ON THE GIRLS 2 WEEK HOLIDAY IN MAGALUF, THEN THE YEAR AFTER SHE TRIED BETTERING IT TO 26 IN HAIYANAPA...??"
yeah but i would not have to read how good she was lol  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Well I went to an adult cinema with a guy to shag all and sundry and met my beloved soulmate. Not sure you could get any less of a place to meet someone"
I met my ex hubby in the Gay Village.  |
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"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx "
I admire your honesty 
When women are surrounded day after day with people telling them they are great for being so liberated (and any other tosh they can think of to hopefully get a sniff), they don't always realise how many skeletons they are stacking up in their closet and forget that your thoughts/feelings are still pretty typical of the average guy in the street.
Some will go on to find love no doubt........ and need to try and keep a FUCKING HUGE secret for the rest of their lives. I imagine them feeling the turd touching cloth every time their new love introduces them to a friend and the friend utters the dreaded words .... "Don't I know you from somewhere?" |
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By *ald6974Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx
I admire your honesty
When women are surrounded day after day with people telling them they are great for being so liberated (and any other tosh they can think of to hopefully get a sniff), they don't always realise how many skeletons they are stacking up in their closet and forget that your thoughts/feelings are still pretty typical of the average guy in the street.
Some will go on to find love no doubt........ and need to try and keep a FUCKING HUGE secret for the rest of their lives. I imagine them feeling the turd touching cloth every time their new love introduces them to a friend and the friend utters the dreaded words .... "Don't I know you from somewhere?""
. Crimewatch uk....or it may have been tesco's lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx
I admire your honesty
When women are surrounded day after day with people telling them they are great for being so liberated (and any other tosh they can think of to hopefully get a sniff), they don't always realise how many skeletons they are stacking up in their closet and forget that your thoughts/feelings are still pretty typical of the average guy in the street.
Some will go on to find love no doubt........ and need to try and keep a FUCKING HUGE secret for the rest of their lives. I imagine them feeling the turd touching cloth every time their new love introduces them to a friend and the friend utters the dreaded words .... "Don't I know you from somewhere?""
  Thanks .. Its only my feeling and i may find i am wrong in the future and meet my soulmate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe its not as bizzare a place as we think.
Your going to meet people who have already exposed a few hidden sides to their personality, and consequently both parties may find complete honesty together.
That's the key to a wholesome fulfilling relationship ? |
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Personally, I'd not want to hear from someone looking for a relationship. Whilst I like to meet playmates more than once and I do go for a drink, dinner etc, it's on a ad hoc basis, I do that with several people.
I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone from here with the ensuing drama thanks. |
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"IMHO, for those who truly seek NSA fun means just that, no string attached, and that includes no emotional or financial attachment or dependence.
By all means look for love via FAB, and there had been some notable success stories that I am aware of since I joined FAB in Aug 2009.
However, please do not expect others to want the same in return.
To some, myself included, sex is just a recreational activity that they enjoy from time to time.
Those who do not seek love or emotional attachment/dependence that would "fuck and go" are not cold-hearted bastards, providing they are upfront about what they want and don't want, and do not string people along just to get their legs over.
Finding a soul mate that shares views, opinions, morals and values in the vanilla world is hard enough as it is, and it would be a lot harder to find one that would accept the idea of multiple partners past, present and future.
Forever talking about life would be so much better with a special someone to share with implies one is not happy with his/her life as it is. It reeks of neediness and desperation, which is not particularly attractive.
And don't get me started about spongers and those looking for meal tickets in the name of love!
"
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"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx "
You're entitled to your opinion, however I don't think you'll endear yourself to many with your comments...then again, some openly state they aren't fussy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone on here, it's still early days but its lovely at the moment, just spent s lovely evening sitting by the cathedral green in Exeter eating supper |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Me personaly would not be looking for a partner for life on here .. I think the main reason and please dont take offence cause its just how i feel ..Say i met a lady on here who i really liked and to know she had 20 veris on here in a year would play on my mind forever and ultimately probably end the relationship .. Plus the fact that most singles on here are on because they have tried relationships and been hurt so just want nsa sex so that does not happen again ... Why do i get the feeling im going to get slated lol xx "
Well that's refreshingly honest... I don't think you should be slated for having an opinion at all.
We all have a past though... is it just because you'd be able to read about it? What about your previous girlfriends? Would you discuss that or is it just a one way thing? I'm genuinely curious as to why that would matter... |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Ive recently updated my profile and believe ive been truly honest "
Good for you... I think honesty is good!
"You CANT look for love....LOVE FINDS YOU "
You can look for dates though can't you? Nothing wrong in making yourself available for love to find you! |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"It's not that people can't..... it's just a few things make it not recommended, such as....
People will play you to get a shag.... more so on here than other places.
A lot of the singles on here who are looking for love (openly or not) are fucked up with so much baggage they'd have a £6k charge to use Ryanair"
I need to get me more cynical... or at least stop trying to see the best in people! I'd not even considered the possibility of people playing it to get a shag!
Everyone has baggage... I'd guess the Ryanair charges would vary person to person. Life affects all of us and we all have pretty different reasons for choosing this lifestyle. I think I dip in and out of this lifestyle because of my baggage.
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