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Northerners!!!!
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"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?' 'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.' Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!' God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the country !' "Northern Monkey !!!   | |||
 oh dear this has more potential of getting out of hand than the cheating partner threads | |||
"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?' 'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.' Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!' God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the country !' "Ah but you've missed one vital thing though. God said that when He wanted a place that is to be the biggest and best place in the North of England, and wanted the best people there, He created a wonderful land of fine hard working folks with pride and humility and He called that land Yorkshire. He saw that He had a bit of earth left over, so He created the Pennines as a barrier against darkness and insanity to the West, he rolled out that bit of left over earth and called it Lancashire! | |||
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"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' That is how it actually reads in the bible lol Gospel truth.... well said. Southern fairys 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?' 'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.' Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!' God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the country !' " | |||
"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' Beautifully put 
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on
earth.
There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North
West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest
artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people
from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous
and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely,
'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the
country !'
Ah but you've missed one vital thing though.
God said that when He wanted a place that is to be the biggest and best place in the North of England, and wanted the best people there, He created a wonderful land of fine hard working folks with pride and humility and He called that land Yorkshire. He saw that He had a bit of earth left over, so He created the Pennines as a barrier against darkness and insanity to the West, he rolled out that bit of left over earth and called it Lancashire! " | |||
" oh dear this has more potential of getting out of hand than the cheating partner threads "Youre probably right because not everyone will take it the way it was intended ..ad harmless banter !! | |||
"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' Beautifully put
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'
God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'
'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on
earth.
There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North
West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest
artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people
from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous
and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely,
'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the
country !'
Ah but you've missed one vital thing though.
God said that when He wanted a place that is to be the biggest and best place in the North of England, and wanted the best people there, He created a wonderful land of fine hard working folks with pride and humility and He called that land Yorkshire. He saw that He had a bit of earth left over, so He created the Pennines as a barrier against darkness and insanity to the West, he rolled out that bit of left over earth and called it Lancashire! "Oh yes, the truest statements ever to appear on here. Anywhere that isnt Yorkshire is simply in the big swirling mass of "not yorkshire" | |||
"Ah but you've missed one vital thing though. God said that when He wanted a place that is to be the biggest and best place in the North of England, and wanted the best people there, He created a wonderful land of fine hard working folks with pride and humility and He called that land Yorkshire. He saw that He had a bit of earth left over, so He created the Pennines as a barrier against darkness and insanity to the West, he rolled out that bit of left over earth and called it Lancashire! "   | |||
" oh dear this has more potential of getting out of hand than the cheating partner threads
Youre probably right because not everyone will take it the way it was intended ..ad harmless banter !!"Made me giggle but then I live in Wales!!!! | |||
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" Oh yes, the truest statements ever to appear on here. Anywhere that isnt Yorkshire is simply in the big swirling mass of "not yorkshire"" I went to Yorkshire once, it was closed. | |||
"I went to Yorkshire once, it was closed. " That was a narrow escape. | |||
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"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort "I don't own a hoodie or trackie bottoms so I'm not allowed up there anyway. | |||
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"I managed to escape!! Its true what they say.....it is grim up north!! So glad Im an adopted southerner, would'nt go back up there if you paid me!!" Consider yourself an adopted sexy southerner lol | |||
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"Seems to have hit a raw note with the southern contingent..lol Sense of humour must cease to exist once you hit sheffield! "They never laugh in Sheffield. Dave | |||
"Seems to have hit a raw note with the southern contingent..lol Sense of humour must cease to exist once you hit sheffield! "The north begins a long way south of Sheffield my gravy supping friend | |||
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"Somebody from wales admitted to giggling. I didnt know they could do that. " But they had to go church the next day for that. Dave | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it. "You're still considered northerners to us | |||
"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
You're still considered northerners to us "I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is. Dave | |||
" oh dear this has more potential of getting out of hand than the cheating partner threads
Youre probably right because not everyone will take it the way it was intended ..ad harmless banter !!
Made me giggle but then I live in Wales!!!! "Same here | |||
"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
You're still considered northerners to us
I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is.
Dave" | |||
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"I'm still chuckling over the bit about someone from the Wirral writing 'hard-working and high-achieving' It must have been a new experience. Dave " | |||
"I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is." Oh my fucking God, the wars that caused!!! I'm from East London and lived in Chesterfield for a year. When I went into a bakery and asked for a tuna salad roll all Hell broke loose, lol. - Amy. x | |||
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"I went to Yorkshire once, it was closed. That was a narrow escape. "For Who?.... | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it. "Us Mercians are second to none | |||
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"Can't we all just get along? Yeah there are some tossers down south but there's quite a few up here. " It's only a giggle. We love northerners really. They're all so quaint and old fashioned. | |||
"Can't we all just get along? Yeah there are some tossers down south but there's quite a few up here. It's only a giggle. We love northerners really. They're all so quaint and old fashioned. " And everybody should own one
boom boom | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
Us Mercians are second to none "I guess being at the bottom of the pile you would br second to none. 5oth is not second | |||
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"Its about time we built a huge fuck off wall round Yorkshire to keep the Riff-Raff out.... self rule from york Federal Republic of Yorkshire..... "That idea has been mooted but it was nothing to do with keeping people out. | |||
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"Can't we all just get along? Yeah there are some tossers down south but there's quite a few up here. It's only a giggle. We love northerners really. They're all so quaint and old fashioned. And everybody should own one
boom boom" | |||
"It's not really grim up north - that's just a line to put wussy southerners off. Been married to a Yorkshire lass, and lived with a Lancashire lass for 12 years. I'm neutral - I'm from the West Country "And your a very brave fella, especially for marrying both sides of the border! | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
Us Mercians are second to none
I guess being at the bottom of the pile you would br second to none. 5oth is not second"I think you're kinda missing the point there Sir Bobness, we separate what people are really missing out on. Bonnie Prince Charlie never made it past Derby | |||
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"Do they still speak English in the south?" ????????? | |||
"Do they still speak English in the south?" No we don't. We fit every stereotype anyone from the rest of the country ever had of us. | |||
"Do they still speak English in the south? No we don't. We fit every stereotype anyone from the rest of the country ever had of us." I don't get what they mean. | |||
"It's not really grim up north - that's just a line to put wussy southerners off. Been married to a Yorkshire lass, and lived with a Lancashire lass for 12 years. I'm neutral - I'm from the West Country
And your a very brave fella, especially for marrying both sides of the border! "I've a garden full of roses - all colours! | |||
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"Do they still speak English in the south? No we don't. We fit every stereotype anyone from the rest of the country ever had of us. I don't get what they mean. " Nah, it's just the Jocks that are mean.... *runs & hides* | |||
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"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort "And your from BRISTOL!!!??? | |||
"I managed to escape!! Its true what they say.....it is grim up north!! So glad Im an adopted southerner, would'nt go back up there if you paid me!!" We might not want you, we know where you've been now. | |||
"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
You're still considered northerners to us
I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is.
Dave"Yeah we do, there barm cakes. | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
You're still considered northerners to us
I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is.
Dave
Yeah we do, there barm cakes."That's just barmy. | |||
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"Good laugh to be honest and it's leaves us Midlanders out of it.
You're still considered northerners to us
I have to agree, we are originally from East London (now Northants/Leic border). Living amongst these northern monkeys can be difficult. Especially as they don't know what a bread roll is.
Dave
Yeah we do, there barm cakes.
That's just barmy. "Isn't that the weather you lot get? | |||
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"It's not really grim up north - that's just a line to put wussy southerners off. Been married to a Yorkshire lass, and lived with a Lancashire lass for 12 years. I'm neutral - I'm from the West Country "How mixed up is that eh? haha! | |||
"I managed to escape!! Its true what they say.....it is grim up north!! So glad Im an adopted southerner, would'nt go back up there if you paid me!! We might not want you, we know where you've been now." | |||
"Seems to have hit a raw note with the southern contingent..lol Sense of humour must cease to exist once you hit sheffield!
They never laugh in Sheffield.
Dave"If you had Nick Clegg as an MP you wouldn't be laughing either. | |||
"Ask a notherner to say " The lion , The Witch and the wardrobe " It comes out as .......... Tut lion , tut witch and tut wardrobe and then i shat me sen ! lol "Nice Michael Macintyre gag. But I'm from Yorkshire and I don't say that. | |||
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He wasn't too impressed when he was presented with a serving of Tripe at the next Sales Conference either... | |||
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"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???"Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut? | |||
"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???
Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut? "I've never heard of anyone punching a horse in Bristol. | |||
"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???
Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut?
I've never heard of anyone punching a horse in Bristol. "Punching a horse seems trivial to kids shooting each other in london every day | |||
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"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???
Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut?
I've never heard of anyone punching a horse in Bristol. Punching a horse seems trivial to kids shooting each other in london every day"I don't know how you get your news up there but next time the wandering minstrel turns up with fables from foreign lands he may point out that in 2012 there was not one teenage shooting in London and there has only been three in two years so its hardly a problem down here. | |||
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"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???
Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut?
I've never heard of anyone punching a horse in Bristol. Punching a horse seems trivial to kids shooting each other in london every day
I don't know how you get your news up there but next time the wandering minstrel turns up with fables from foreign lands he may point out that in 2012 there was not one teenage shooting in London and there has only been three in two years so its hardly a problem down here. "Ask the same fairy how many horses have been punched in Newcastle in the last 30 years..lol and no teenagers at all drawing guns on each other! Obviously your fairy writes for the sun | |||
"Im bit lost since when do Bristolians punch horses ?? lol ""They Shoot Horses, Don't They?", a song by Racing Cars | |||
"Wouldnt go any further North than Cheltenham without at least an armed escort
And your from BRISTOL!!!???
Is that the same Bristol they twinned with Beirut?
I've never heard of anyone punching a horse in Bristol. Punching a horse seems trivial to kids shooting each other in london every day
I don't know how you get your news up there but next time the wandering minstrel turns up with fables from foreign lands he may point out that in 2012 there was not one teenage shooting in London and there has only been three in two years so its hardly a problem down here. Ask the same fairy how many horses have been punched in Newcastle in the last 30 years..lol and no teenagers at all drawing guns on each other!
Obviously your fairy writes for the sun "We can't afford the bullets up here. We make do with fisticuffs. | |||
"I managed to escape!! Its true what they say.....it is grim up north!! So glad Im an adopted southerner, would'nt go back up there if you paid me!!" Im an official adopted Southerner. Born in Jersey C.I. adopted and brought over here to live as a baby. We have our funny ways as do others. | |||
"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?' 'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.' Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!' God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the country !' "Never a truer word spoken Wouldn't live dawn sauth for love nor money Northern folk are salt of the earth !! end of !! | |||
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Never a truer word spoken
Wouldn't live dawn sauth for love nor money
Northern folk are salt of the earth !! end of !! "So you'd rather live oop north and do without the love and money. Fair doos | |||
"Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God,'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.' God continued, pointing to the different countries. This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.' The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?' 'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, four Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.' Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!' God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South to Govern the country !'
Never a truer word spoken
Wouldn't live dawn sauth for love nor money
Northern folk are salt of the earth !! end of !! "You would probably have to save up a bit first even if you wanted to....to be honest | |||
