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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife used to embarrass me in social situations by addressing me by pet names, such as 'Snugglebear', 'Honeywunny' and 'Cutiepie'.She eventually stopped when I began doing the same thing to her.Anyway, got to go, folks; Bucketcunt's just put my tea out.  |
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I thought I was unshockable until a recent trip to Amsterdam, where I saw a sign for "duck sex". I didn't get to see anything as I was knocked out by a couple shagging on a swing. I bet they were swingers |
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I saw this Dutch bloke walking the other day looking lost, so I stopped and asked him if he needed directions? He said no I've got 'sat-nav' built into my shoes!
I carried on and thought,
'fucking clever clogs'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?" |
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"This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?""
That's a groaner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lady Penelope and Parker.....
Parker...take off my coat !
yes me lady...
Parker.....take off my shoes....
yes me lady....
Parker.....take off my dress...
yes me lady...
Parker.....undo my bra...
yes me lady...
Parker...pull down my panties...
yes me lady....
and Parker....
yes me lady...
dont wear my frigging clothes again !!!
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Pulled a gypsy bird last night, she asked me did I want to go back to hers for a good time. She wasn't fucking kidding!
I went on the dodgems, waltzer, ghost train and even went home with a goldfish!
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A Man takes his wife to a disco.
There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says:
"Looks like he's still celebrating!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol at the last post. I like that.
I went on eBay last month to buy a cock extension. Opened my package when it arrived and the item urned out to be a magnifying glass, "bastards". |
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