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Fab ads 💕
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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I'm bored.. post an ad describing who you're looking for and for what.
Example:
Woman
Busty
Sense of humour
Did I mention boobs?
For: cocktails (and more 🤞)
You can put an ad in for more than one person if you like and hopefully we'll get some matches. Or at least the beginnings of a new friendship.
Respect filters and remember its just a bit of fun.
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Ad 1
Looking for:
Charming, intelligent, charismatic men (preferable 35+ but that's not a deal breaker) with a slight kinky streak to share cocktails, good conversations and some amazing sex.
Ad 2
Looking for:
Sexually adventurous, emotionally mature, open minded couples who like to share and explore pleasure for group outings and group nights in  |
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"Looking for:
A woman
Not a fruit loop
That is all 
I’m the tasty kind of fruit loop. Like good old polo fruits so.. am I an exception to the rule?"
Now I used to love the fruity polos
Apart from when they got hot and stuck together in your pocket |
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Looking for list is not exhaustive:
Male:
A) someone to date, who I share chemistry with, evenings out and drinks, laugh have fun and mind blowing knee trembling sex and see where it goes with the possibility for more ie you must be single.
B) To get to know someone as above who I have chemistry with for evenings out, fun and mind blowing sex to be friends.
Must be a good kisser |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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"Looking for that very special woman for real connection and meaningful times together.
Or a whole bunch of average ones for a quick bunk up."
I'm here for one of the average vacancies |
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By *sWyldWoman 2 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Currently indulging in midlife crisis adventures and seeking a partner in crime (maybe more than one)
You should be able to make me laugh, make me think and kiss me so well that the world stops turning in that moment.
In return you'll get a woman who knows exactly what she wants and is no longer afraid to ask for it!
Like a sexy vintage car I've got a few faults but I'll be memorable. |
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Lovely Twat seeking ..
Someone who actually doesn't let me down ..
Enjoys the friends part too and feels comfortable around each other...
Likes lazy Sundays in bed ..
And the odd occasional day / weekends away ..
Not much to ask is it 🤷♂️😆 |
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"Quirky slightly unhinged woman with lumps and bumps seeks charismatic, emotionally stable, sarky, tatted, kinky gentleman for fun nights in and out. "
Oh and must be at least 6ft and have a massive cock 🤣 |
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Older fella. Chubby. Experienced. Looking for willing victim....err, I mean lady partner for fun, frolics and food. Likely to suck your nipples and I wouldn't mind you reciprocating. Will provide Angel Delight, crisps and alcohol, or soft drink. Bedsheets are clean and my bed is a super king 🤓 |
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By *aizyWoman 2 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Older fella. Chubby. Experienced. Looking for willing victim....err, I mean lady partner for fun, frolics and food. Likely to suck your nipples and I wouldn't mind you reciprocating. Will provide Angel Delight, crisps and alcohol, or soft drink. Bedsheets are clean and my bed is a super king 🤓"
What flavour Angel Delight?? |
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"Older fella. Chubby. Experienced. Looking for willing victim....err, I mean lady partner for fun, frolics and food. Likely to suck your nipples and I wouldn't mind you reciprocating. Will provide Angel Delight, crisps and alcohol, or soft drink. Bedsheets are clean and my bed is a super king 🤓
What flavour Angel Delight??"
Butterscotch 👌🤓 |
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By *aizyWoman 2 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Older fella. Chubby. Experienced. Looking for willing victim....err, I mean lady partner for fun, frolics and food. Likely to suck your nipples and I wouldn't mind you reciprocating. Will provide Angel Delight, crisps and alcohol, or soft drink. Bedsheets are clean and my bed is a super king 🤓
What flavour Angel Delight??
Butterscotch 👌🤓"
Dammit  🤢 |
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Mischievous female seeks:
- FWB; Tall (preferably 6’2+), handsome male who is an excellent kisser, can make me laugh, keep my attention, adore oral and repeat (heavy cummer a bonus). Spooning is non negotiable.
- Lovely curvy female for cocktails, kisses and lots more.
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"Older fella. Chubby. Experienced. Looking for willing victim....err, I mean lady partner for fun, frolics and food. Likely to suck your nipples and I wouldn't mind you reciprocating. Will provide Angel Delight, crisps and alcohol, or soft drink. Bedsheets are clean and my bed is a super king 🤓
What flavour Angel Delight??
Butterscotch 👌🤓
Dammit 🤢"
Can prepare an alternative 🤓 |
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By *wertyjk01Man 2 weeks ago
NW London/Kent/Midlands |
A child at heart is looking for:
A woman, or a couple
To drink wine and build Lego with (I'll bring the Lego you bring the wine)
While watching crappy movies, eating questionable food and playing games together |
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"Mischievous female seeks:
- FWB; Tall (preferably 6’2+), handsome male who is an excellent kisser, can make me laugh, keep my attention, adore oral and repeat (heavy cummer a bonus). Spooning is non negotiable.
- Lovely curvy female for cocktails, kisses and lots more.
"
I would like to apply 😋 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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Scouse sounding, slightly pyschotic Welsh, fat, catfish, older than her years (I'm boring as fuck) for
A man with a pretty face, pretty dick and a sense of humour that's OK with semi regular shags, being gagged and getting kicked out the door once the deed is done.
Or
A confident woman with a devilish smile and a glint in her eye 🥵 for something that involves Dutch courage, because I'm shite when it comes to women  |
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"Mischievous female seeks:
- FWB; Tall (preferably 6’2+), handsome male who is an excellent kisser, can make me laugh, keep my attention, adore oral and repeat (heavy cummer a bonus). Spooning is non negotiable.
- Lovely curvy female for cocktails, kisses and lots more.
I would like to apply 😋"
From what I can see application accepted 😁 |
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"Scouse sounding, slightly pyschotic Welsh, fat, catfish, older than her years (I'm boring as fuck) for
A man with a pretty face, pretty dick and a sense of humour that's OK with semi regular shags, being gagged and getting kicked out the door once the deed is done.
Or
A confident woman with a devilish smile and a glint in her eye 🥵 for something that involves Dutch courage, because I'm shite when it comes to women "
I can do an awkward wink … will that suffice?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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"Scouse sounding, slightly pyschotic Welsh, fat, catfish, older than her years (I'm boring as fuck) for
A man with a pretty face, pretty dick and a sense of humour that's OK with semi regular shags, being gagged and getting kicked out the door once the deed is done.
Or
A confident woman with a devilish smile and a glint in her eye 🥵 for something that involves Dutch courage, because I'm shite when it comes to women
I can do an awkward wink … will that suffice?! "
Yes  |
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Woman
Smile, boobs (lack of adjectives intentional - I'm an equal opportunity guy 😉)
Interesting - preferably on more than just fab as a topic.
For: a conversation at first (on whatever they like). I'm happy to just sit and listen, asking questions or joining in if it's a shared interest. I like looking into people's eyes when they're talking about things they're interested in. It's part of the mental attraction. Hopefully that doesn't sound weird 🙃 |
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Woman. Vintage. Seeks gentleman for relaxed , sensual afternoon crumpet butterings. Required to bring own upright cucumber and be extremely generous with it. Sipping from porcelain cups compulsory. |
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"Woman. Vintage. Seeks gentleman for relaxed , sensual afternoon crumpet butterings. Required to bring own upright cucumber and be extremely generous with it. Sipping from porcelain cups compulsory."
exemplary 😍
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We are seeking a gent who fits our dynamics - doesn’t have a profile full of dick pics and is looking to meet a couple to help push our boundaries.
A lady who adores the best of both worlds when it comes to sex and who knows what she enjoys and is forward enough to ask for it.
We would love to find friends for in and out of the bedroom who just embraces the lifestyle, respects a couple and is sexy AF 🔥
BP x |
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Years ago when I was backpacking through western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo...
Now I have your attention lol basically I'm looking for a lady that has a good sense of humour, friendly, has a love for the outdoors and even more so a goddess in the sack
Oh, the icing on the cake would be if she likes her feet played with too.. this may be a deal breaker but why not.. you only live once |
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"Looking for
A tall, average/athletic/gym bod build, SINGLE male
Good sense of humour and able to have great conversations.
For nice times in and out of the bedroom"
Ah drats.. i feel at the first hurdle when you mention tall 
Dang it |
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"Woman.
With a pulse.
No standards.
Clean or unclean I don’t mind.
Must be on the dole, therefore available 24/7.
No car or other transport which will aid their escape. "
Is the pulse non negotiable ? |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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Woman
Comfortably uninterested
Enjoys dry humour, meaningful chat, and not being pestered
Not here for meets, dates, or attention
Looking for: the occasional organised social, if the dates work. Otherwise, just loitering. |
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By *rKnightsMan 2 weeks ago
Nott,in,your,mums,forrest |
"Woman.
With a pulse.
No standards.
Clean or unclean I don’t mind.
Must be on the dole, therefore available 24/7.
No car or other transport which will aid their escape.
Is the pulse non negotiable ?"
I would never admit to such a heinous act, but if no one Witnesses it, it never happened 😉🤫 |
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Looking for….
Woman/couple!
20’s-40’s, extremely kinky, chilled, naked stoners!
Crazy is good as I get bored easily! Just be cool honey bunny!
All applications in the strictest privacy!
Please apply within |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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"Caring, empathetic man with emotional intelligence seeks woman to make nothing else matter in our meeting of hearts.
No uglies, please."
That was actually pretty sweet. Glad you balanced it with the last sentence  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 weeks ago
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"Misanthrope with weird twisted humour seeks fellow oddball for insult based humour and mutual mockery, and probably a hug
Is the hug negotiable? 😬
Absolutely 👍 "
In that case, I know someone that I can set you up with |
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"Misanthrope with weird twisted humour seeks fellow oddball for insult based humour and mutual mockery, and probably a hug
Is the hug negotiable? 😬
Absolutely 👍
In that case, I know someone that I can set you up with "
Lord.. break it to me gently by all means! |
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Looking for a woman with a twisted bad sense of humour who enjoys teasing while wearing seamless tights without pants. Likes having her long legs and arse worshiped and loves giving head as much as receiving. Experimental and like exploring new kinks as well as old ones.
And some who is funny and we both laugh at same things so the connection will be there.
If not just any woman |
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