FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you think looks are a form of privilege?
Do you think looks are a form of privilege?
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By *alcon2 OP Man 3 weeks ago
North |
This isn't something I've considered, up until the last few years.
A lady commented to me that I'm the sort of person that doors and opportunities may be opened for that may be closed to other people..
Another guy told me that he didn't feel attractive as a teenager and that's affected his mental health in adulthood..
So..it's not something I've thought about until recently as I mentioned, but that could be my privilege showing...
(This sounds incredibly arrogant when I read it back. apologies .)
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I've never put to much importance on looks, mine or anyone else's I was born with this face can't do much about it.
But I can good looks can help you get you more openings in life.
Doesn't always get you what you want and it doesn't stop you going through all the pain and heartbreak life brings
Judging by all the good-looking women on here that complain about being stood up it doesn't even get you the sex you want
Looks doesn't automatically make you intelligent. It can make you popular with the opposite sex but that doesn't automatically mean you will find the love of your life
I'm just average looking and I would say my looks have neither helped or hindered me |
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By *a LunaWoman 3 weeks ago
Wherever the wind takes me |
Agree with Diamondsmiles really.
Some of the most beautiful people in the world aren’t immune to heartbreak and misfortune.
I think it can get you noticed, sure, but the rest is up to you, hard work etc.
And looks can be temporary.
I feel lucky to have grown up without social media pressure regarding appearance. I guess it’s pretty brutal these days. |
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I think it might do. I remember reading up on something called the Halo Effect which I found quite interesting to study which indicated that people who seem more conventionally attractive receive more opportunities or more chances to succeed. |
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"Yes, is the short answer. Good looks absolutely come with some privilege. Luckily, I’m a handsome bastard."
Just kidding. I wasn’t one of the good looking kids, and I was a properly awkward teen. And I watched ‘conventionally attractive’ friends sail through life.
Not all beautiful people though. Not by a long shot. Obviously it’s not that simple. Nothing is. |
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"Yes, is the short answer. Good looks absolutely come with some privilege. Luckily, I’m a handsome bastard.
Just kidding. I wasn’t one of the good looking kids, and I was a properly awkward teen. And I watched ‘conventionally attractive’ friends sail through life.
Not all beautiful people though. Not by a long shot. Obviously it’s not that simple. Nothing is."
My best friend (she still is) was beautiful and I was the one who always got the not so good looking mate 🤣 |
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I've never considered it as a way of having doors opened or creating opportunities.
As far as it being a privilege I think that may be how others see it rather than the person themselves.
It wouldn't be the first conversation suggesting that someone only got that job because of how they look rather than the fact they had all the relevant skills.
Looks can sometimes be a curse rather than a privilege because people can't see beyond the book cover.
I would say with confidence that quite a few good-looking people have had doors closed by those who only see the aesthetically pleasing face and assume they are shallow and unsuitable. |
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I also think it could have something to do with confidence in some cases (not all). If you think you look good you are more confident and outgoing. I know that’s the case with me. I am a different person when I’m not overweight and I feel good about myself. |
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"I've never considered it as a way of having doors opened or creating opportunities.
As far as it being a privilege I think that may be how others see it rather than the person themselves.
It wouldn't be the first conversation suggesting that someone only got that job because of how they look rather than the fact they had all the relevant skills.
Looks can sometimes be a curse rather than a privilege because people can't see beyond the book cover.
I would say with confidence that quite a few good-looking people have had doors closed by those who only see the aesthetically pleasing face and assume they are shallow and unsuitable."
 |
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I think the difference with fab is that there is an assumption that good looking people are good in bed.
Stunning pics and hot body so surely their sexual prowess knows no bounds?
And yet so many complain about not getting repeat meets so maybe the truth of the matter is that there is no correlation between looks and sexual ability and those stunners were just a shit shag? |
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"Also good looks attract the haters who are jealous of them"
That is definitely true. Also the implication that good looking people must not be such nice people as some kind of karmic justice, which is obviously nonsense. |
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"I also think it could have something to do with confidence in some cases (not all). If you think you look good you are more confident and outgoing. I know that’s the case with me. I am a different person when I’m not overweight and I feel good about myself. "
Hit the nail on the head there Nora. I've landed a couple of jobs over the years, not because of looks (like when is that ever a prerequisite ...OK, unless you're a model or something) or my abilty to do the job, but because I bullshitted my way through it with faux confidence and charm. |
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Pretty privilege absolutely exists. Obviously, that doesn't mean that attractive people get absolutely everything they want in life with no problems  it just means society looks more favourably on conventionally attractive people and it's pretty pervasive. |
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"I have no idea what is considered good looking anymore. From what I read on here, it's all just about preferences."
I certainly think my perception of good looking (or not) is skewed! I seem not to agree with the media outlets who tell me Such-and-such-a-body is handsome etc. |
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"Yes I think it is. I also think weight is. I think fat people are looked at differently in society.
That's just because they're just harder to see past 🥪"
Yes. We do indeed make better doors than windows 👍🏻 |
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"I have no idea what is considered good looking anymore. From what I read on here, it's all just about preferences.
I certainly think my perception of good looking (or not) is skewed! I seem not to agree with the media outlets who tell me Such-and-such-a-body is handsome etc. "
Same here Mrs KC. I’ve never really gone for the ones everyone else seems to think are good looking. Same with celebs. George clooney, Brad Pitt etc. I just can’t see it |
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"I have no idea what is considered good looking anymore. From what I read on here, it's all just about preferences.
I certainly think my perception of good looking (or not) is skewed! I seem not to agree with the media outlets who tell me Such-and-such-a-body is handsome etc.
Same here Mrs KC. I’ve never really gone for the ones everyone else seems to think are good looking. Same with celebs. George clooney, Brad Pitt etc. I just can’t see it "
I was reading earlier about the "heartthrobs" cast in the forthcoming Beatles biopic. I felt MYOPIC. I must need my eyes testing 🧐 |
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"Pretty privilege absolutely exists. Obviously, that doesn't mean that attractive people get absolutely everything they want in life with no problems it just means society looks more favourably on conventionally attractive people and it's pretty pervasive. "
This |
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Sure looks can be an inital positive thing and gets you somewhere.
But as other people have said above, thats it. The rest is up to you. Once you open your mouth, the looks dont matter.
I was never told my by parents I was enough as I am. Had a narcissistic husband who made sure he never complimented me to keep me with him so now, as a 48yr old woman, I dont feel nor think I am attractive.
I am however a nice human being  |
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"Also good looks attract the haters who are jealous of them"
I used to go out with a girl who was hated by some women because of her looks and friendly personality, she never saw how pretty she was to be honest, just a down to earth person x
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You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide? |
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By *alcon2 OP Man 3 weeks ago
North |
"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?"
Online, possibly. |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?"
It's more than a train of thought; there's tons of research showing the dating and mating advantage of men being tall.
Leo Blooms, 6ft 5.🦒 |
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I've been rejected so many times on here because I'm a cd,every time I look at somebody I like,there profile says I'm blocked due to my sex,it does affect your mental health, and confidence, I feel like scum on this site. |
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"I've been rejected so many times on here because I'm a cd,every time I look at somebody I like,there profile says I'm blocked due to my sex,it does affect your mental health, and confidence, I feel like scum on this site."
Why on earth do you stay if its having that affect on you
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?"
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
It's more than a train of thought; there's tons of research showing the dating and mating advantage of men being tall.
Leo Blooms, 6ft 5.🦒"
😮
Do you even know where your feet are at any given moment? |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
It's more than a train of thought; there's tons of research showing the dating and mating advantage of men being tall.
Leo Blooms, 6ft 5.🦒
😮
Do you even know where your feet are at any given moment? "
One of them is usually in my mouth.🙊 |
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By *ugar91Woman 3 weeks ago
near you |
I do believe there is pretty privilege.
People are nicer to you if you're pretty. Not disputing it can be a curse.
I think sometimes when someone is good looking they can be overlooked. I was SA by a good looking guy and his friend said why would he need to do that to someone like you. |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
"
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous  |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous "
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣 |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣"
But he's got the hair  |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results. "
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔 |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair "
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you! |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results.
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔"
No
Speed and privilege are different
One's quick
One's guaranteed |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you!"
Punching down seems to be a national sport these days |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you!
Punching down seems to be a national sport these days "
More height jokes
Sick of being bullied on here. |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you!
Punching down seems to be a national sport these days
More height jokes
Sick of being bullied on here."
Tbf, I'm shorter than the shortest king while I'm seated ♿
Mr KC, on the other hand... |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you!
Punching down seems to be a national sport these days
More height jokes
Sick of being bullied on here."
You’re a while 1” taller than me if that helps. |
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Attractive pepple will always and always will have a head start in any profession they choose because unfortunately "thats life" I've seen attractive women get seriously over promoted simply because they are very "easy on the eye"......fact. |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results.
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔
No
Speed and privilege are different
One's quick
One's guaranteed "
Fast results without effort sounds like privilege to me. 🤔 |
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"Attractive pepple will always and always will have a head start in any profession they choose because unfortunately "thats life" I've seen attractive women get seriously over promoted simply because they are very "easy on the eye"......fact."
I've seen men get promoted way beyond their ability because the only (much more suitable alternative) was a woman.
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"Attractive pepple will always and always will have a head start in any profession they choose because unfortunately "thats life" I've seen attractive women get seriously over promoted simply because they are very "easy on the eye"......fact.
I've seen men get promoted way beyond their ability because the only (much more suitable alternative) was a woman.
"
Same. Same. |
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By *alcon2 OP Man 3 weeks ago
North |
"I think others see it as privilege but I‘ve always viewed it as just another of the crosses I have to bear "
But you have a cool name, Noddy...
My real name is one people forget & I have to spell most of the time. |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results.
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔
No
Speed and privilege are different
One's quick
One's guaranteed
Fast results without effort sounds like privilege to me. 🤔"
In your opinion of course |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results.
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔
No
Speed and privilege are different
One's quick
One's guaranteed
Fast results without effort sounds like privilege to me. 🤔
In your opinion of course "
It's my opinion as well, I'm really not getting what you say |
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"Definitely not a privilege.
Just helps you get what you want in life faster and sex quicker,than someone less fortunate who has to put in more effort to achieve the same results.
Is that not exactly what privilege means? 🤔"
Yep |
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"You're a nice looking man, so yes I do believe that those looks may have opened doors for you
That said, there is a train of thought that links height in men to success (both sexually and professionally)
So, does your not being tall cancel out some of the privilege that your looks provide?
I was going to make a similar point, OP. You're also not white, so minus a privilege point there too! Never mind privileged, you're practically oppressed!
Yours in solidarity,
YOLO
🤣
Poor Falcon, you guys are obviously just jealous
No, no, I am short and brown too. Falcon and I are practically brothers. He just got the looks - like Arnie in Twins!
🤣
But he's got the hair
Kick a man when he's down, why don't you!
Punching down seems to be a national sport these days
More height jokes
Sick of being bullied on here.
You’re a while 1” taller than me if that helps. "
It does. But I bet you're going to wear heels when we go out?!
😉 |
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By *HUSH-Man 2 weeks ago
London |
"I think others see it as privilege but I‘ve always viewed it as just another of the crosses I have to bear
But you have a cool name, Noddy...
My real name is one people forget & I have to spell most of the time."
I think I know what your name is now by the way. Just need that guessing game to come back on the forum. |
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By *edSirenWoman 2 weeks ago
magic mountain |
"Looks are only a privilege until you open your mouth. "
Agreed. You can be stunning as hell, but if you’re entitled, rude, ignorant and narcissistic behind that… they’ll only get you so far. Nobody likes a cunt (she says on a swingers site 🙈😅😂). |
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By *alcon2 OP Man 2 weeks ago
North |
"Looks are only a privilege until you open your mouth.
Agreed. You can be stunning as hell, but if you’re entitled, rude, ignorant and narcissistic behind that… they’ll only get you so far. Nobody likes a cunt (she says on a swingers site 🙈😅😂)."
Plus I sound like janet street-porter. |
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*some* men will accept behaviour from a good looking woman that they wouldn't from a less attractive one. You see it all the time even on here in the 'she wouldn't get a second look in real life why is she being so picky?' comments.
Some women will behave badly towards a man they don't find attractive and in ways they never would towards a good looking man.
It carries on from there. |
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By *edSirenWoman 2 weeks ago
magic mountain |
"Looks are only a privilege until you open your mouth.
Agreed. You can be stunning as hell, but if you’re entitled, rude, ignorant and narcissistic behind that… they’ll only get you so far. Nobody likes a cunt (she says on a swingers site 🙈😅😂).
Plus I sound like janet street-porter."
Ooooft… bet you make all the ladies wet with just a haaaalllllloooo |
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"There have been several studies in the US that have shown being “attractive” (as rated by a group) tends to correlate with higher pay and more opportunities. Is that ‘privilege’? No idea."
That is pretty much the definition of privilege, yes. |
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"It’s amazing how people on screen seem to be easy on the eye. I wonder if doors of opportunity was open for the less attractive women/guy who auditioned for the role.? "
Many antagonists in tv/films are "ugly", "strange" looking or have a deformity. I read an article recently decrying how so many James Bond villains have facial disfigurements/disabilities and the perpetuating of harmful stereotypes and "othering". |
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"*some* men will accept behaviour from a good looking woman that they wouldn't from a less attractive one. You see it all the time even on here in the 'she wouldn't get a second look in real life why is she being so picky?' comments.
Some women will behave badly towards a man they don't find attractive and in ways they never would towards a good looking man.
It carries on from there. "
Astute behavioural examples, I agree they feature prominently. I don't think it's particular to fab though, more a general social phenomena.
It does indeed carry on from there, with all kinds peculiar games and pay-offs.
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Pretty privilege is very real and has tons of downsides as well. When you’re often chosen or things without having to put the work in, your whole life, you don’t get to develop or learn lessons the same as others. |
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"It’s amazing how people on screen seem to be easy on the eye. I wonder if doors of opportunity was open for the less attractive women/guy who auditioned for the role.?
Many antagonists in tv/films are "ugly", "strange" looking or have a deformity. I read an article recently decrying how so many James Bond villains have facial disfigurements/disabilities and the perpetuating of harmful stereotypes and "othering". "
People with visible disabilities have been used as "baddies" since forever and it doesn't help when the reaction of many adults to things like wheelchairs is to behave like a numpty. Just behave normally*
*Though, some people are clearly not normal! |
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