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How many chances

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

One

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"One"
Would you seek an explanation/ clarification or just "delete" them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hmmmm 2

Everyone can make mistakes ... some people can make 2 ( I know this lol)

But there are only so many times you can forgive people over and over

2

But on here 1

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One chance unless it was a life changing event that made them cancel at last min.

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By *lyce and Mister MCouple  over a year ago

Falkirk

Gave the ex 4..... Then on his 5th (an attempt to shag the next door neighbor) I told him it was done!

Learnt from it! One chance only, two for minor stuff!

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"OneWould you seek an explanation/ clarification or just "delete" them? "

yeah and that would be fine, do it a second time... gone.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

It would be a one from me. But as ive said numerous times, i wouldnt be here now with out people giving me second chances

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 06/05/13 19:40:35]

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

On here, one. I used to give two but some people took the piss. In real life, it does depend on the reasons but usually two or three. I am much more tolerant in real life.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Hmmmm 2

Everyone can make mistakes ... some people can make 2 ( I know this lol)

But there are only so many times you can forgive people over and over

2

But on here 1 "

Interesting. On here you give just one - can you say a bit more please? I mean if somebody had to cancel a meet would that mean they lost out?

I am really bad for giving people umpteen chances in life and even on here and I am wondering whether I have been too generous at times.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fool me once shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me!

I always like a reason or clarification and if I give them a second chance and they disapoint me again then that's my own stupid fault

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Gave the ex 4..... Then on his 5th (an attempt to shag the next door neighbor) I told him it was done!

Learnt from it! One chance only, two for minor stuff!"

Oh god, that is being patient!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

I tend to give two in most cases. Everyone makes mistakes and communication is a two way street.

If there's been a misunderstanding then both parties are to some extent responsible - and it's the responsibility of the person who feels in some way aggrieved or let down to clarify rules, situations and circumstances.

If you need to have a conversation about the same thing more than twice - then either the message isn't sinking in - or there's a very different point of _iew or attitude that means it's best to part ways and move on.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"It would be a one from me. But as ive said numerous times, i wouldnt be here now with out people giving me second chances"
I kind of feel the same that people deserve more than one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On here they will get a chance to explain themselves, if I don't like the explanation then they're gone. In life I'm pretty much the same. It helps that I'm not easily offended and have a great, but small, circle of friends.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"On here, one. I used to give two but some people took the piss. In real life, it does depend on the reasons but usually two or three. I am much more tolerant in real life. "
Interesting thought about being more tolerant in real life - I am also (even) more tolerant in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One chance, because if you're going to fuck up and piss me off once you'll do it again. And I'm not naive enough to let anyone do that!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Big difference here to real life...love to a friend etc and so I'd have to weigh up each scenario individually....I won't have people take the "pee" out of me, depends if they can prove their worth.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

I tend to give two in most cases. Everyone makes mistakes and communication is a two way street.

If there's been a misunderstanding then both parties are to some extent responsible - and it's the responsibility of the person who feels in some way aggrieved or let down to clarify rules, situations and circumstances.

If you need to have a conversation about the same thing more than twice - then either the message isn't sinking in - or there's a very different point of _iew or attitude that means it's best to part ways and move on."

I like that¬

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Big difference here to real life...love to a friend etc and so I'd have to weigh up each scenario individually....I won't have people take the "pee" out of me, depends if they can prove their worth."

I won't let people take the piss out of me on here or in "real life"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

In what context - life in general, swinging, relationships?

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

In what context - life in general, swinging, relationships?"

Any really - whichever you feel like discussing.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

Promises are like comforts to a fool...."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The kids get as many as needed, everyone else depends on what has happened.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Big difference here to real life...love to a friend etc and so I'd have to weigh up each scenario individually....I won't have people take the "pee" out of me, depends if they can prove their worth.

I won't let people take the piss out of me on here or in "real life" "

I can understand that

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"The kids get as many as needed, everyone else depends on what has happened."
Ah intresting one - my kids have a never ending amount of empathy from me. Mother love just does not run out.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 06/05/13 19:47:32]

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

swinging sometimes highlights the most manipulative/exploitative traits at times...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Big difference here to real life...love to a friend etc and so I'd have to weigh up each scenario individually....I won't have people take the "pee" out of me, depends if they can prove their worth.

I won't let people take the piss out of me on here or in "real life" "

I am not say I do let people, I am saying there is a difference and what one person thinks is taking the piss another will not, relationship wise I think it is very easy to say you won't, but in reality you do...eg who does most of the housework etc could be deemed as taking the piss...all in all a perception is not always right.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/13 19:48:26]

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple  over a year ago

Manchester

Oh here just one chance as there are plenty of other chancers waiting to take their place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

In what context - life in general, swinging, relationships?Any really - whichever you feel like discussing. "

Hmm. Its all contextual I guess. I would find out why first of all and take it from there.

There are some people in my life who will never run out of do-overs, pardons and forgiveness.

Others, Id just walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Big difference here to real life...love to a friend etc and so I'd have to weigh up each scenario individually....I won't have people take the "pee" out of me, depends if they can prove their worth.

I won't let people take the piss out of me on here or in "real life"

I am not say I do let people, I am saying there is a difference and what one person thinks is taking the piss another will not, relationship wise I think it is very easy to say you won't, but in reality you do...eg who does most of the housework etc could be deemed as taking the piss...all in all a perception is not always right."

saying!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

There are some people in my life who will never run out of do-overs, pardons and forgiveness.

Others, Id just walk away."

Seconded

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"The kids get as many as needed, everyone else depends on what has happened.Ah intresting one - my kids have a never ending amount of empathy from me. Mother love just does not run out. "

Neither does the Bank of Mother, apparently.

It's true. Family gets free passes all the time. Lovers less, then mates, then you lot!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

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By *lyce and Mister MCouple  over a year ago

Falkirk


"The kids get as many as needed, everyone else depends on what has happened."

Mine will too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance."

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"The kids get as many as needed, everyone else depends on what has happened.Ah intresting one - my kids have a never ending amount of empathy from me. Mother love just does not run out.

Neither does the Bank of Mother, apparently.

It's true. Family gets free passes all the time. Lovers less, then mates, then you lot!"

You re right - mine are in constant overdraft

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???"

Crime reference number.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???"

I was going to ask that as well!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???

Crime reference number. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

only get 1 chance with us, these days

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

One chance, second time they fecked it up again? Gone for good!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

There are some people in my life who will never run out of do-overs, pardons and forgiveness.

Others, Id just walk away.Seconded "

I would add - one critical factor is if they have lied to me!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"One chance, second time they fecked it up again? Gone for good! "
On here?

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By *ce WingerMan  over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Every choice you make in life should be based on previous knowledge of past actions

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

There are some people in my life who will never run out of do-overs, pardons and forgiveness.

Others, Id just walk away.Seconded

I would add - one critical factor is if they have lied to me!"

Seconded again big time!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Every choice you make in life should be based on previous knowledge of past actions "
It is evolution and learning from it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

if its my son and my hubby i will usually tell them if they have annoyed me, with my brothers and sister and parents i couldnt say anything though because i knew it would be pointless as i knew what they would say.

me and my sister didnt get on we had to stay in contact when my dad was dying of cancer, then when he died, i called her and asked if she would like to come round to my house, we lived in the same street. she didnt want to and was the same cold, cruel person she has always been, so after that i never had anything to do with her again except to send birthday and christmas cards.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"if its my son and my hubby i will usually tell them if they have annoyed me, with my brothers and sister and parents i couldnt say anything though because i knew it would be pointless as i knew what they would say.

me and my sister didnt get on we had to stay in contact when my dad was dying of cancer, then when he died, i called her and asked if she would like to come round to my house, we lived in the same street. she didnt want to and was the same cold, cruel person she has always been, so after that i never had anything to do with her again except to send birthday and christmas cards."

Miss Overall you had a tough time there and that is pretty serious stuff. Not surprised you have cut yourself off there.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! "

Are you my long lost cousin?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Family countless.

Other people not many. I don't surround myself with people who let me down if I don't have to.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


" I don't surround myself with people who let me down if I don't have to.

"

Good point!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???"

Death in the family, car written off. Would need photographic evidence of both!

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By *renchbambi xWoman  over a year ago

Need to know basis


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

Because I know how many times others have mis-undestood something I have said or done I will always seek an explanation and give the person another opportunity.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???

Death in the family, car written off. Would need photographic evidence of both!

"

And thats it .. no other excuses are worthy of being forgiven for ???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???

Death in the family, car written off. Would need photographic evidence of both!

And thats it .. no other excuses are worthy of being forgiven for ???"

Give me a hypothetical and i'll give you a judgement!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Because I know how many times others have mis-undestood something I have said or done I will always seek an explanation and give the person another opportunity. "

I am with you on that one - I always give benefit of doubt, allow for me not having been understood etc. - perhaps I am wrong there but I do give several chances. If I find I have been lied to - that is diffferent.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

Dunno.... How many more chances will ya give me...?

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By *renchbambi xWoman  over a year ago

Need to know basis


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Because I know how many times others have mis-undestood something I have said or done I will always seek an explanation and give the person another opportunity. I am with you on that one - I always give benefit of doubt, allow for me not having been understood etc. - perhaps I am wrong there but I do give several chances. If I find I have been lied to - that is diffferent."

I do give more than one opportunity too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

Surely Affro, it depends on the combined worth we place on our social interaction with that person coupled to the predetermined expectations we've subconsciously formulated about the level of reciprocated appreciation that entails....

Yeah.... thats it, or sumit like that anyway.....

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

[Removed by poster at 06/05/13 20:12:53]

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By * Jay69Man  over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin? "

At the end of the day, we may learn through experience and 'toughen up' but if our nature is to be too forgiving - we're stuck with it.

I've been taken for a chump a few times, but still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Out and out lying over a serious matter - That's it. Game over.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone no showed on me or called off without reasonable explanation at late notice. They'd have had their chance.

What constitutes a reasonable explanation ???

Death in the family, car written off. Would need photographic evidence of both!

And thats it .. no other excuses are worthy of being forgiven for ???

Give me a hypothetical and i'll give you a judgement!"

The pressure .. ok Grandmother comes to visit and wants to go BINGO

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Dunno.... How many more chances will ya give me...? "

Thats a hard one!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin? "

I saw you on heir hunters claiming great aunty Hilda's money as your own!! I want my £53.98 lol it's ok I forgive you, only 62 chances left mind you

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Surely Affro, it depends on the combined worth we place on our social interaction with that person coupled to the predetermined expectations we've subconsciously formulated about the level of reciprocated appreciation that entails....

Yeah.... thats it, or sumit like that anyway..... "

Soxy, when you put the word reciprocation my way - I just go weak at the knees

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

The pressure .. ok Grandmother comes to visit and wants to go BINGO "

Binned! Grandmother should be sent alone and you should come have fun!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin?

At the end of the day, we may learn through experience and 'toughen up' but if our nature is to be too forgiving - we're stuck with it.

I've been taken for a chump a few times, but still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Out and out lying over a serious matter - That's it. Game over. "

You know I think, and I am reflecting about this as the thread evolves, that I look at the implications for the other person and myself and what effect it has on me if I do not give them another chance. Will I feel bad? Will I feel guilty? Will I feel ok with my decision? And I think that informs my action somehow.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin?

I saw you on heir hunters claiming great aunty Hilda's money as your own!! I want my £53.98 lol it's ok I forgive you, only 62 chances left mind you"

I ll make it up to you. Promise!!

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think I'll just keep my comments to being about meets from fab. I use the Goldfinger dictum so 2 chances from me.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I think I'll just keep my comments to being about meets from fab. I use the Goldfinger dictum so 2 chances from me. "
Not 2 fingers then?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

The pressure .. ok Grandmother comes to visit and wants to go BINGO

Binned! Grandmother should be sent alone and you should come have fun!"

Hahaha Mr Striking eyes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In all seriousness I have actually had a car breakdown on me on the way to a meet, luckily I got the second chance but I guess it's all to do with how long and how well you know the person

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"In all seriousness I have actually had a car breakdown on me on the way to a meet, luckily I got the second chance but I guess it's all to do with how long and how well you know the person"
And I guess how much trust there is between you?

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London

None!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"None!

"

Not ever?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Dunno.... How many more chances will ya give me...? Thats a hard one!"

Ya noticed...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Dunno.... How many more chances will ya give me...? Thats a hard one!

Ya noticed... "

You could not miss the Eiffel Tower when in Paris now, could you?

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By * Jay69Man  over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin?

At the end of the day, we may learn through experience and 'toughen up' but if our nature is to be too forgiving - we're stuck with it.

I've been taken for a chump a few times, but still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Out and out lying over a serious matter - That's it. Game over. You know I think, and I am reflecting about this as the thread evolves, that I look at the implications for the other person and myself and what effect it has on me if I do not give them another chance. Will I feel bad? Will I feel guilty? Will I feel ok with my decision? And I think that informs my action somehow. "

I know some people who are very distrustful, everyone else is suspect and wants to take advantage. I would hate to be like that.

Assume the best of people, often I find I have to re-asses things, but that's me.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin?

At the end of the day, we may learn through experience and 'toughen up' but if our nature is to be too forgiving - we're stuck with it.

I've been taken for a chump a few times, but still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Out and out lying over a serious matter - That's it. Game over. You know I think, and I am reflecting about this as the thread evolves, that I look at the implications for the other person and myself and what effect it has on me if I do not give them another chance. Will I feel bad? Will I feel guilty? Will I feel ok with my decision? And I think that informs my action somehow.

I know some people who are very distrustful, everyone else is suspect and wants to take advantage. I would hate to be like that.

Assume the best of people, often I find I have to re-asses things, but that's me. "

Me too! I guess some of this is about taking risks with being let down again? I kind of think I would prefer to take that risk rather than cut myself off form that person (I am tlaking real life, not the site now).

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool...."

Family don't come into it unfortunately as I love them, so I don't count...sigh...more fool me.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool....

Family don't come into it unfortunately as I love them, so I don't count...sigh...more fool me."

I love my family!!

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By *pecifically1Woman  over a year ago

Hull

It would depend who and what the situation was.

Friends get chances, too numerous to mention as they give me, friendship is not about judging and ultimatums. I love and accept my friends with their faults, as they do me

On Fab - 1 cancellation and that's it...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I arranged a meet with a guy for a Tuesday as he said he was on duty all weekend. We kept in touch and exchanged pics etc and then the night before I happened to check his profile.

He'd been fucking someone off here all weekend and was stupid enough to leave the veri on display.

He never even got a chance - he was blocked on here and whatsapp

I don't have to explain myself, neither does he but I won't be lied to

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool....

Family don't come into it unfortunately as I love them, so I don't count...sigh...more fool me.

I love my family!!"

Me too. I mean I love my family not yours although if I knew your family I would probably love them too.. Never mind. I ll shut up now!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I arranged a meet with a guy for a Tuesday as he said he was on duty all weekend. We kept in touch and exchanged pics etc and then the night before I happened to check his profile.

He'd been fucking someone off here all weekend and was stupid enough to leave the veri on display.

He never even got a chance - he was blocked on here and whatsapp

I don't have to explain myself, neither does he but I won't be lied to

"

good for you. what a silly man.

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By * Jay69Man  over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset


"63!!

I'm extremely forgiving and even more stupid!! Are you my long lost cousin?

At the end of the day, we may learn through experience and 'toughen up' but if our nature is to be too forgiving - we're stuck with it.

I've been taken for a chump a few times, but still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Out and out lying over a serious matter - That's it. Game over. You know I think, and I am reflecting about this as the thread evolves, that I look at the implications for the other person and myself and what effect it has on me if I do not give them another chance. Will I feel bad? Will I feel guilty? Will I feel ok with my decision? And I think that informs my action somehow.

I know some people who are very distrustful, everyone else is suspect and wants to take advantage. I would hate to be like that.

Assume the best of people, often I find I have to re-asses things, but that's me. Me too! I guess some of this is about taking risks with being let down again? I kind of think I would prefer to take that risk rather than cut myself off form that person (I am tlaking real life, not the site now)."

Yes I was talking real life - got to have your wits about you here

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"None!

Not ever? "

Why would I?!!

People on here mean nothing so why give them a second chance? Anyone that claims to be a friend and does something to betray my trust can't earn it back. Only my family, mainly my sisters and daughters have a "get out of jail free card": I love them, so will always turn the other cheek...I think, they haven't done anything: yet!

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I think I'll just keep my comments to being about meets from fab. I use the Goldfinger dictum so 2 chances from me. Not 2 fingers then? "

To start, then the full kitkat. Limited edition.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool....

Family don't come into it unfortunately as I love them, so I don't count...sigh...more fool me.

I love my family!!"

Didn't say you didn't!

I meant there's no limit to mine because I love them, not you only giving a couple. My generosity of spirit only stretches to two of my sisters and my daughters.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

If its cancelled meet and is a stupid reason, then I delete them. Done it couple weeks ago and they havent asked to come back. If its genuine reason and they come back to ask to re-arrange then thats ok. But yes one chance only otherwise

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"On here I don't give any chances as most mean fuck all to me to even warrant a chance...If its friends and family then I give them a couple of chances...

Promises are like comforts to a fool....

Family don't come into it unfortunately as I love them, so I don't count...sigh...more fool me.

I love my family!!

Didn't say you didn't!

I meant there's no limit to mine because I love them, not you only giving a couple. My generosity of spirit only stretches to two of my sisters and my daughters. "

Doh sorry!! I had a stupid moment then,,

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

Depends

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I seldom give second chances.

Once I have lost my trust in someone, it is hard for me to ever trust him/her again.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

one on here.

real friends dont have chances as its real and shit happens

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"None!

Not ever?

Why would I?!!

People on here mean nothing so why give them a second chance? Anyone that claims to be a friend and does something to betray my trust can't earn it back. Only my family, mainly my sisters and daughters have a "get out of jail free card": I love them, so will always turn the other cheek...I think, they haven't done anything: yet!"

I can see wheer you are coming from - except I would not quite subscribe to the notion that people on here dont mean anything. Some people on here I have become friends with and they matter and I would treat their needing a second chance as different to somebody whom I had met on a casual basis.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Depends

how well I know them and what they have done, there far to many ifs and buts on this to give a defined answer to cover everyone and everything

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do? "

Depends what it was they did, i.e. how serious it was!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Depends

how well I know them and what they have done, there far to many ifs and buts on this to give a defined answer to cover everyone and everything"

I guess I did not specifi what I was talking about and to be honest I thought perhaps best to keep it open and let people decide what they want to refer to. I agree it depends on the specifics of the situation, on how close one is to the people, what the trust and relationship are like etc.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"do you give people? I mean if somebody has done something and you are not happy about it.. Do you question them, ignore the event, give them a second and third and whatever many chances?

Not thinking about anything in particular just wondering what people do?

Depends what it was they did, i.e. how serious it was! "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fore it depends on the circumstances. But I tend to talk things through analyse it and move on. If the same mistakes are made then there is an issue to be resolved one way or another.

Life is sometimes too short to give up on people.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Fore it depends on the circumstances. But I tend to talk things through analyse it and move on. If the same mistakes are made then there is an issue to be resolved one way or another.

Life is sometimes too short to give up on people. "

Spot on, that is how I see it. I sometimes think I am too geneorus as stated above somewhere but then I do think people deserve the opportunity of an explanation and a second chance, more often than not.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

to be honest even if someone did piss me off I wouldn't mail them and question them about it as I feel I have no rights to question what people on here do, unless they made a personal attack on me, and I don't mean hit me lol

I was supposed t meet a guy last week and he canceled saying he had to work late, I don't know why but I had a feeling he was lying but I said ok no worries and a couple of days later I checked his profile, just out of curiosity and sure enough I found he was verified the day after we was supposed to meet by a woman saying they had met last night, I have to be honest it did piss me off a little as he knew id had to arrange a sitter and I had swapped my day off work to meet him yet even tho he knew this he still dropped me for a what he obviously saw as a better meet and didn't even have the decency to be honest with me, but I didn't mail him as I saw no point, it wouldn't change anything and didn't need to pester him for a answer why for him to state the obvious

Sometimes its best to think 'that's life and just move on rather than cause a scene with someone who after all owes you nothing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On here or in the real world it all depends on the reasons given and explanation. Sometimes it's a zero mainly attributed to the fact that no reasonable explanation has been given or none at all..

In some cases people deserve more chances in life as life does throw at us unforeseen traumas and problems that account for a second chance if not a third...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"to be honest even if someone did piss me off I wouldn't mail them and question them about it as I feel I have no rights to question what people on here do, unless they made a personal attack on me, and I don't mean hit me lol

I was supposed t meet a guy last week and he canceled saying he had to work late, I don't know why but I had a feeling he was lying but I said ok no worries and a couple of days later I checked his profile, just out of curiosity and sure enough I found he was verified the day after we was supposed to meet by a woman saying they had met last night, I have to be honest it did piss me off a little as he knew id had to arrange a sitter and I had swapped my day off work to meet him yet even tho he knew this he still dropped me for a what he obviously saw as a better meet and didn't even have the decency to be honest with me, but I didn't mail him as I saw no point, it wouldn't change anything and didn't need to pester him for a answer why for him to state the obvious

Sometimes its best to think 'that's life and just move on rather than cause a scene with someone who after all owes you nothing"

In this case, I agree with you. I would assume that it was his choice, his priorities and good luck to him. I would not give a second chance in these circumstances though, Good example of when not to pursue.

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By *riendly foeWoman  over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

On here??

Just once....

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"On here or in the real world it all depends on the reasons given and explanation. Sometimes it's a zero mainly attributed to the fact that no reasonable explanation has been given or none at all..

In some cases people deserve more chances in life as life does throw at us unforeseen traumas and problems that account for a second chance if not a third..."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My husband gets a few chances, my son gets unlimited chances, on here its only 1 chance.

A few days ago we arranged a meet and confirmed the day before then asked for the "where" go no reply ( even though been on and off site all day) finally got a reply 1 hour before the arranged time to say was stuck in traffic.

Today a short notice meet but arranged a time and place, I even text 30 minutes before to say on our way, turned up and no answer at external door ( ok buzzer maybe broke) door was open so went in and knocked on internal flat door, still no answer, ok try knocking a little louder...... a half asleep guy who didnt resemble his photo in a flat with all curtains drawn and rubbing his eyes at the door, I asked if he would like to rearange and he said yes, half way home hes texting saying he was "awake" now and he could freshen up in 5 minutes! No 2nd chance for either im afraid!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"On here??

Just once...."

Would you say, like many people have done, that you are drawing a line between the one off nature of meets on here and real life and friendships ?

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