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Autistic & Hooking up.
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I've dated plenty of ND people and my best friend has recently been diagnosed as autistic. Being ND doesn't really have much baring on whether I like someone or not. If I like them and we are compatible that's all that matters to me. Being ND doesn't make you a bad partner. |
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I think this is a weird question. And I think I'm offended on behalf of the autistic and neuro divergent people I know that you needed to include the part about how they're not all freaks who obsess over trains and numbers ............ |
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"I know plenty autistic people and they would all be perfectly great partners for people . One of my exes is autistic and although we are no longer together we remain great friends "
I love this. Thank you for sharing. |
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"I think this is a weird question. And I think I'm offended on behalf of the autistic and neuro divergent people I know that you needed to include the part about how they're not all freaks who obsess over trains and numbers ............ "
I see your point & I do indeed apologise if you were offended however I was just putting up a mirror to how society has treated us in the past. |
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"I've dated plenty of ND people and my best friend has recently been diagnosed as autistic. Being ND doesn't really have much baring on whether I like someone or not. If I like them and we are compatible that's all that matters to me. Being ND doesn't make you a bad partner. "
Excellently put! Thank you! |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜"
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown. |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown."
Out of interest, why did you mention it? |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown.
Out of interest, why did you mention it?"
I have mild aspergers syndrome & have been talking to this girl I REALLY like (for a hookup) I'm afraid to tell her in all honesty. I find I can appear normal in settings like this but it still feels wrong to not mention it. I'm really on the fence about mentioning it :/ |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown.
Out of interest, why did you mention it?"
Oh sorry, you meant the one before?
Well she asked where I lived & I told her it's a specialised building & immediately she was warey about why im in here so I told her the truth. Didn't work out so well 😄 |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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An ex of mine and I are both on the spectrum, and we met on fab. Game recognises game (to a degree) and there can be a shared connection in feeling understood by another person in a place like this.
I've very much been misunderstood because I feel like a lot of people just automatically assume I'm neurotypical, despite me stating in my bio that I am neurospicey. I honestly don't care if people don't like me, that's their problem to deal with those negative emotions, not mine.
From what I've seen, there's plenty neurodivergent people on the site, and awareness helps to prevent false negative judgements. Especially when it comes to sex, some people struggle with things like orgasms or getting into the moment due to things like ADHD, or difficulty connecting. Patience is a virtue and awareness and open-mindedness can pay off in dividends |
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"An ex of mine and I are both on the spectrum, and we met on fab. Game recognises game (to a degree) and there can be a shared connection in feeling understood by another person in a place like this.
I've very much been misunderstood because I feel like a lot of people just automatically assume I'm neurotypical, despite me stating in my bio that I am neurospicey. I honestly don't care if people don't like me, that's their problem to deal with those negative emotions, not mine.
From what I've seen, there's plenty neurodivergent people on the site, and awareness helps to prevent false negative judgements. Especially when it comes to sex, some people struggle with things like orgasms or getting into the moment due to things like ADHD, or difficulty connecting. Patience is a virtue and awareness and open-mindedness can pay off in dividends"
Excellently, excellently put! Thank you for this & you're totally right. My ex was autistic too so it made it easier to not be judged. |
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Generally, if someone mentions their autism, I don't bat an eyelid. It just is what it is and we're all very different at interpreting the world anyway.
I think I'd be a little thrown to discover someone I wanted to have sex with was in some sort of specialist or assisted living situation because of their mental capabilities. I would question the validity of consent in that scenario without further context even if they seemed lucid. Maybe that's more what threw her off? |
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I met someone with autism and it's great. Things are a lot more direct as they tend to just be more open with their feelings than I'm used to. There's not hidden messages.
Their maths is very average, though, which was quite disappointing. |
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By *agic.MMan 6 weeks ago
Orpington |
I guess for me personally it would depend on the severity of their autism and if they are capable in regulating their emotions (but that's for all people I interact with really). I know some autistic people have a hard time regulating and managing their emotions, and I don't want to end up being someone's emotional punching bag. The only experience on fab I had with someone that stated they are autistic did not end up well...they messaged me, I replied and we had a pleasant back and forth conversation until they asked randomly if I want to "f...k" them, and when I politiley said I don't find them sexually attractive I got a number of abusive messages calling me names with the pretext that I waisted their time...so regardless if someone is on the spectrum or not, as long as they are emotionally mature and treat me with respect and consideration, I make no distinction |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"It’s a superpower
I wish someone could tell me which part of my autism is the superpower, other than being very average at maths, obviously."
I get so annoyed by this...
My asperges and ADD/ADHD is a super power for me that I found gratitude in having. For some of us it is a superpower, understandably for others it's a hinderance. But whenever I've seen other ND commutes people saying it's a superpower, others immediately jump on them questioning how it's a superpower and unloading a truck full of life problems and issues because they feel offended by the initial comment.
We are all different... I don't doubt your ND hinders you in life and I won't try to convince you otherwise. But the jumping on people to undermine their sense of appreciation for their level of ND whether it's autism, ADHD or whatever is really not helpful for a community that's advocates inclusively. |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown."
Then that tells you all you need to know about that person, if they're put off by someone being autistic x |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"It’s a superpower
I wish someone could tell me which part of my autism is the superpower, other than being very average at maths, obviously.
I get so annoyed by this...
My asperges and ADD/ADHD is a super power for me that I found gratitude in having. For some of us it is a superpower, understandably for others it's a hinderance. But whenever I've seen other ND commutes people saying it's a superpower, others immediately jump on them questioning how it's a superpower and unloading a truck full of life problems and issues because they feel offended by the initial comment.
We are all different... I don't doubt your ND hinders you in life and I won't try to convince you otherwise. But the jumping on people to undermine their sense of appreciation for their level of ND whether it's autism, ADHD or whatever is really not helpful for a community that's advocates inclusively."
I'm genuinely not offended. I'm quite baffled that you interpreted my comment that way. |
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"Disabled people are still human just extra special and unique I’ve dated a few lovely people "
Being autistic doesn't make me disabled. I'm perfectly abled I'm just think differently and sometimes struggle in social situations. |
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"Disabled people are still human just extra special and unique I’ve dated a few lovely people
Being autistic doesn't make me disabled. I'm perfectly abled I'm just think differently and sometimes struggle in social situations. "
Glad you said this before I had the chance too! I dont think you'd ever find anyone who would tell you that I was disabled.
As the saying goes, if you've met one person with ASD you've met one person with ASD. |
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"It’s a superpower"
I think it’s nice to have it framed like that but it’s really not. I don’t feel particularly super when I’m burnt out from social interactions and masking in public, nor when I’m hyper focused and inadvertently ignoring people.
As others have said though; many on fab are of the spicy variety and it can be a benefit to attraction if you have a similar world view and don’t have to mask |
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Being autistic is draining in social situations and masking is difficult. That said, I do feel that it allows me do things and see things others simply can't. I work in a very niche area and being autistic has allowed me to thrive and make a real difference in the world. |
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"...
I'm autistic as fuck.
I don't particularly like when people indicate it's something actually relevant in itself 💜
Amen to that. I had a hookup not that long ago & things got a bit cagey when I mentioned I have autism before the inevitable comedown.
Then that tells you all you need to know about that person, if they're put off by someone being autistic x"
What does it tell you? |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"It’s a superpower
I wish someone could tell me which part of my autism is the superpower, other than being very average at maths, obviously.
I get so annoyed by this...
My asperges and ADD/ADHD is a super power for me that I found gratitude in having. For some of us it is a superpower, understandably for others it's a hinderance. But whenever I've seen other ND commutes people saying it's a superpower, others immediately jump on them questioning how it's a superpower and unloading a truck full of life problems and issues because they feel offended by the initial comment.
We are all different... I don't doubt your ND hinders you in life and I won't try to convince you otherwise. But the jumping on people to undermine their sense of appreciation for their level of ND whether it's autism, ADHD or whatever is really not helpful for a community that's advocates inclusively.
I'm genuinely not offended. I'm quite baffled that you interpreted my comment that way."
In every ND community I'm in, every single time I've seen that comment about it being a super power, has always been followed up by someone stating the opposite very much worded like your own, followed by their reasons for why it's not a super power, and sometimes followed up by remarks made against that original comment with being invalidating, what they call, a disability. I wouldn't have commented on what you said had this not been my experience with that comment about someone's autism being a super power for them specifically. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"In every ND community I'm in, every single time I've seen that comment about it being a super power, has always been followed up by someone stating the opposite very much worded like your own, followed by their reasons for why it's not a super power, and sometimes followed up by remarks made against that original comment with being invalidating, what they call, a disability. I wouldn't have commented on what you said had this not been my experience with that comment about someone's autism being a super power for them specifically."
I understand your reaction is based on experiences you've had in other communities, but if you actually read my comment, I didn’t dismiss anyone’s perspective. I said I’ve yet to find MY superpower. That’s it. The maths bit was a tongue-in-cheek nod to another poster, not a list of grievances or a contradiction of anyone else’s view. Perhaps I should've included a 🤷♀️ to soften the tone.
Like you said, we’re all different, and we’re entitled to express our own experiences of being autistic without being accused of invalidating others. As I said, I wasn't offended by the original comment. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"It’s a superpower
I wish someone could tell me which part of my autism is the superpower, other than being very average at maths, obviously.
Cowgirl 🤠"
I'll bring the lasso and the chaps next time 🐮 |
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"In every ND community I'm in, every single time I've seen that comment about it being a super power, has always been followed up by someone stating the opposite very much worded like your own, followed by their reasons for why it's not a super power, and sometimes followed up by remarks made against that original comment with being invalidating, what they call, a disability. I wouldn't have commented on what you said had this not been my experience with that comment about someone's autism being a super power for them specifically.
I understand your reaction is based on experiences you've had in other communities, but if you actually read my comment, I didn’t dismiss anyone’s perspective. I said I’ve yet to find MY superpower. That’s it. The maths bit was a tongue-in-cheek nod to another poster, not a list of grievances or a contradiction of anyone else’s view. Perhaps I should've included a 🤷♀️ to soften the tone.
Like you said, we’re all different, and we’re entitled to express our own experiences of being autistic without being accused of invalidating others. As I said, I wasn't offended by the original comment."
Be prepared for a war of attrition with this one... |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"In every ND community I'm in, every single time I've seen that comment about it being a super power, has always been followed up by someone stating the opposite very much worded like your own, followed by their reasons for why it's not a super power, and sometimes followed up by remarks made against that original comment with being invalidating, what they call, a disability. I wouldn't have commented on what you said had this not been my experience with that comment about someone's autism being a super power for them specifically.
I understand your reaction is based on experiences you've had in other communities, but if you actually read my comment, I didn’t dismiss anyone’s perspective. I said I’ve yet to find MY superpower. That’s it. The maths bit was a tongue-in-cheek nod to another poster, not a list of grievances or a contradiction of anyone else’s view. Perhaps I should've included a 🤷♀️ to soften the tone.
Like you said, we’re all different, and we’re entitled to express our own experiences of being autistic without being accused of invalidating others. As I said, I wasn't offended by the original comment.
Be prepared for a war of attrition with this one..."
Nah, I'm respectfully done. |
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By *hirleyMan 6 weeks ago
somewhere |
I'm autistic, or so I'm told... but I refuse to be diagnosed because I just don't believe there's an explanation as to why my thinking is unique to most people I know or neuro pattern is different to that of a 'typical' human.
And I definitely do bite! I was born with teeth and so they will be used, but only when deemed absolutely necessary. |
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"On the forums I would never know most of the autistic ones are until they post on threads like these, but there are many people with autism that just can't fit into society.
It's very complex"
Hence the spectrum. Complex on a sliding scale |
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By *ypersoonMan 6 weeks ago
WHITCHURCH, Shropshire |
Funnily enough am mildly Asperger's (low end of the autistic spectrum) but I've always been willing to challenge myself to be more sociable, more open-minded & even show both how much of a gentleman I am publicly 😇 yet unleash my sexually repressed deviant side privately 😈
However my biggest problem tends to be confidence especially when around people unfamiliar to me & aren't willing to approach me (latter a rarity in the lifestyle) 😬 it's another reason I'd love to find a fuck buddy who will help me through my sexual repression & even have fun with me in swingers clubs too hence become a more complete person 👍 |
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"Funnily enough am mildly Asperger's (low end of the autistic spectrum) but I've always been willing to challenge myself to be more sociable, more open-minded & even show both how much of a gentleman I am publicly 😇 yet unleash my sexually repressed deviant side privately 😈
However my biggest problem tends to be confidence especially when around people unfamiliar to me & aren't willing to approach me (latter a rarity in the lifestyle) 😬 it's another reason I'd love to find a fuck buddy who will help me through my sexual repression & even have fun with me in swingers clubs too hence become a more complete person 👍"
YES!!! Exactly this!! |
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On the superpower thing. I've built a career on being able to solve a particular kind of problem on a kind of 'savant' level. My ND brain can just synthesize a certain kind of data in a particular kind of way and it works on a sensory level for me.
I would trade that superpower in a second if I didn't have to deal with all the other shit. |
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Sorry I didn't even realize I never answered the OP
Neuro status just isn't a factor for me. I'm ND in long line of ND's and I work in a sector that is like a global nation-state for the neuro spicy
I have and have had ND lovers . I might have found out before or after. I might have told them about my brain at some point but it's not really a factor as much as an interesting conversation about brains if it comes up. |
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"Sorry I didn't even realize I never answered the OP
Neuro status just isn't a factor for me. I'm ND in long line of ND's and I work in a sector that is like a global nation-state for the neuro spicy
I have and have had ND lovers . I might have found out before or after. I might have told them about my brain at some point but it's not really a factor as much as an interesting conversation about brains if it comes up."
Thank you so much! |
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By *hirleyMan 5 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Most people I’ve seen on a long-term more serious situationship (including my primary relationship) are in the high-functioning autistic spectrum.
I just cannot resist them. 🤤 😋 😋 😋 "
Suckered for punishment over here  |
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"I think it only fair to bring the subject up so we can make the necessary adjustments to help the connection."
I have that I'm on the spectrum in my profile not sure if it puts people off, but it at least gives the person a heads up that a message might not come through the way I mean or a may take up a message sent the wrong way. |
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"Most people I’ve seen on a long-term more serious situationship (including my primary relationship) are in the high-functioning autistic spectrum.
I just cannot resist them. 🤤 😋 😋 😋 "
Oh, yes, you can... |
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I always worry, I’ve met a couple of ladies who have been on a scale of autism, but knew they was lower on the scale, I also knew them away from the sex so knew what they was like.
Absolutely wouldn’t bother me if they was high up the scale, it takes all sorts to make a world, but my fear is consent and that’s my worry and why I rarely would meet unless I knew them separately and understood there capacity. |
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& we don't (all) bite 
