... If you are kinky, vanilla or in-between
... Maybe a raspberry ripple, or a neapolitan ice cream ... Or a mocaccino maybe?!
Who defines the boundaries.. what if you just like to dip your toe in...ohh kinky!! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
There's nothing wrong with variety.
Sometimes I like vanilla ice cream.
Sometimes I like neapolitan.
Sometimes I like chunky monkey.
Other times I like all three. At the same time. With sprinkles and a wafer. 🤷♂️ |
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By *ornycougaWoman 2 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
I don't know and I don't care. It puts me off when someone describes themselves as kinky, because as has been said... One person's neapolitan is another's vanilla. I just like what I like without labelling it |
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I think that’s the enjoyment of meeting someone and exploring the possibilities. I’d would have said I’m very vanilla, but know now that I’m not, and what I have explored so far has been amazing x. |
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By *JCRoseWoman 2 weeks ago
Caversham |
"I don’t think you really do know. It’s other people who define you that way.
Everything I like/do is perfectly normal and natural to me. It’s other people who think I’m a bit weird 😆"
Exactly this, when someone ask what's the kinkiest thing you have done it's all normal to me.
And what I think is vanilla to someone once they thought it was too kinky lol |
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This is the issue as what is kinky or vanilla is subjective.
I hate this username, I've had it 3+ years and struggled to think of a name when I joined that wasn't taken so I settled on this at the time. I am reluctant to change it now as lots of people from clubs and event chats know me as that name now. But I am always getting messages off some men on here that are quite distasteful and on the extreme end of things asking are you into "xyz". |
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I think ultimately, you will know what your own boundaries are and it's up to you whether you trust someone enough to explore them with as you can have a mixture of soft and hard boundaries.
Personally, I definitely lean more on the vanilla side than the kinky side and although there might be some elements I would like to explore, I wouldn't do it with just anyone  |
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"I don’t think you really do know. It’s other people who define you that way.
Everything I like/do is perfectly normal and natural to me. It’s other people who think I’m a bit weird 😆
Exactly this, when someone ask what's the kinkiest thing you have done it's all normal to me.
And what I think is vanilla to someone once they thought it was too kinky lol "
That tickled me  |
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Those labels were created for two reasons, either to make some people more interesting than they really are, or to make it easier for people to judge certain activities they do not understand.
Just a thought of course Xx |
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What’s kinky to us may not be to someone else and vice versa.
FAB allows you have more opportunities to explore and we’ve very much extended our sexual map however there’s still a lot of avenues we wouldn’t go down.
K |
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From my experience the easiest way to find out is to go on a date from a relationship site rather than a hookup site: eharmony rather than tinder.
I consider my tastes fairly pedestrian, but found out quite quickly they were not. I still don't consider myself kinky though - I don't tend to go for stuff you'd have to look up on urban dictionary.
Actually, that could be another test - think about the stuff you like doing. If the average person on the street would need urban dictionary to know what it was then chances are you're kinky. |
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"... If you are kinky, vanilla or in-between
... Maybe a raspberry ripple, or a neapolitan ice cream ... Or a mocaccino maybe?!
Who defines the boundaries.. what if you just like to dip your toe in...ohh kinky!! "
There is that BDSM test dot org give an idea of your profile on different types of things.
My experiences there are people that are up for doing things in the bedroom but it stops there. They normally stop at around 50 to 75% of where I’m comfortable going. Then there are people that want to go further and it usually extends outside of the bedroom.
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I'm told I'm kinky. I just do me. I've never known much other. I had a great introduction at 18 and found what I liked and expanded from there. In the scheme of a kinky scale though I'm probably in the middle. I've been a lot of people's firsts in a few things 😁
I guess kinky is comparable to autism. SOOOOO many levels and types. |
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"... If you are kinky, vanilla or in-between
... Maybe a raspberry ripple, or a neapolitan ice cream ... Or a mocaccino maybe?!
Who defines the boundaries.. what if you just like to dip your toe in...ohh kinky!! "
Dip dip dip  |
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By *eliWoman 2 weeks ago
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I don't know... yourself if you're so inclined. The other person?
I wouldn't say I'm particularly kinky, maybe a smidgen. To some I'd be utterly boring (fair) and to others the most debauched of lotus eaters. Maybe not the most, most |
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I think it's subjective and open to individual interpretation. I have, and enjoy, many kinks. I don't believe I'm kinky.
Each to their own innit, even our own personal limits and perceptions will change over time.
I definitely relate to both Obi's and Chunky Gent's ice cream analogies though, made me smile, both! |
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"Those labels were created for two reasons, either to make some people more interesting than they really are, or to make it easier for people to judge certain activities they do not understand.
Just a thought of course Xx"
Very true
People love a label 🏷 |
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