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By *elloWoman 2 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
Good 1st date - met in a pub had some drinks went back to his and shagged
Worst 1st date - went to a pub had drinks and didn't get a shag  .
Disastrous 1st date - went to the cinema (can't remember what we saw but the first toy story was showing on the other screen) it was dark when we went in , sat down and my fat arse broke the seat, popcorn went flying I shout d 'for fuck sake' and from across the dark theatre and voice went 'is that you Dawn?' several people from work were in there, recognised my swearing annoyed voice and witnessed my embarrassment and my poor taste in men lol |
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My worst date included him looking about ten years older than his photos, telling me he wanted me to pee in his mouth and roll around a paddling pool full of custard within about 20 minutes of arriving, he kept growling at me as he leered across the table, spent half the date slagging off his ex and how boring she was in bed and had turned his son against him, then revealed he was a tory, laughed at me for being a member of the labour party and supporting Jeremy Corbyn and told me he thought the black lives matter movement were terrorists  he offered to drive me home when I said I had to go, I politely declined but he insisted he stay with me until my taxi arrived then he attempted to kiss me which I managed to dodge but he pulled me into a hug and grabbed my arse while he growled down my ear 🤢
He text me saying what a good time he had had, I told him I had no interest in seeing him again and blocked his number 😅 |
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"My worst date included him looking about ten years older than his photos, telling me he wanted me to pee in his mouth and roll around a paddling pool full of custard within about 20 minutes of arriving, he kept growling at me as he leered across the table, spent half the date slagging off his ex and how boring she was in bed and had turned his son against him, then revealed he was a tory, laughed at me for being a member of the labour party and supporting Jeremy Corbyn and told me he thought the black lives matter movement were terrorists he offered to drive me home when I said I had to go, I politely declined but he insisted he stay with me until my taxi arrived then he attempted to kiss me which I managed to dodge but he pulled me into a hug and grabbed my arse while he growled down my ear 🤢
He text me saying what a good time he had had, I told him I had no interest in seeing him again and blocked his number 😅"
Harsh 🤭🤓 |
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We went to a large bookstore, and wandered about showing each other books we’d enjoyed. Eventually we each had a pile of books and found seats in a corner where we read out passages of books or poems to each other or asked the others questions and laughing. Eventually we made our way to the cafe where we had food and played a game of scrabble in which he cheated terribly but even that seemed adorable. It was a pretty great date. |
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"Good 1st date - met in a pub had some drinks went back to his and shagged
Worst 1st date - went to a pub had drinks and didn't get a shag .
Disastrous 1st date - went to the cinema (can't remember what we saw but the first toy story was showing on the other screen) it was dark when we went in , sat down and my fat arse broke the seat, popcorn went flying I shout d 'for fuck sake' and from across the dark theatre and voice went 'is that you Dawn?' several people from work were in there, recognised my swearing annoyed voice and witnessed my embarrassment and my poor taste in men lol "
I like your style |
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"My worst date included him looking about ten years older than his photos, telling me he wanted me to pee in his mouth and roll around a paddling pool full of custard within about 20 minutes of arriving, he kept growling at me as he leered across the table, spent half the date slagging off his ex and how boring she was in bed and had turned his son against him, then revealed he was a tory, laughed at me for being a member of the labour party and supporting Jeremy Corbyn and told me he thought the black lives matter movement were terrorists he offered to drive me home when I said I had to go, I politely declined but he insisted he stay with me until my taxi arrived then he attempted to kiss me which I managed to dodge but he pulled me into a hug and grabbed my arse while he growled down my ear 🤢
He text me saying what a good time he had had, I told him I had no interest in seeing him again and blocked his number 😅"
Lol you’ve got to love him thinking you’d had a great time |
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Good - Lots to talk about and felt a nice "connection".
Bad - Took her out for a meal. Not good for a first date but what made it worse was could sense it was not appreciated. I was right. I no longer do food first dates! |
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Good - One of the best was recently; met in a pub and it immediately felt really natural to be around him. Conversation flowed, a lot of laughter, and the kisses were awesome 
Bad - When the guy turned up, it was clear he'd lied about just height. Now, I don't have a height thing, but when we stood together he kind of looked like my child. He also smelled like old vegetables and didn't make any effort to talk to me. I was looking for escape routes 5 minutes in. |
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"We went to a large bookstore, and wandered about showing each other books we’d enjoyed. Eventually we each had a pile of books and found seats in a corner where we read out passages of books or poems to each other or asked the others questions and laughing. Eventually we made our way to the cafe where we had food and played a game of scrabble in which he cheated terribly but even that seemed adorable. It was a pretty great date."
This sounds utterly perfect 🥰 |
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"We went to a large bookstore, and wandered about showing each other books we’d enjoyed. Eventually we each had a pile of books and found seats in a corner where we read out passages of books or poems to each other or asked the others questions and laughing. Eventually we made our way to the cafe where we had food and played a game of scrabble in which he cheated terribly but even that seemed adorable. It was a pretty great date."
I'll see you in Waterstones on Broad Street  |
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Good - she bought me a delicious home-made cheesecake and I ate a bit from her body.
Bad - she told me she dated her ex for seven months and they never had sex
Ugly - she looked more like 140 than 40
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My last date was back in 1989.
We got mixed up at as to which pub we were meeting at and both somehow managed to miss every other walk to the other pub, we bumped into each other on the way back, I went on to be married to him for 22 years. So was it good or bad???
I haven't dated since. |
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Good: he cooked for me, brought me breakfast in bed and bit my bum.
Bad: at the end of a perfectly pleasant evening out he told me he didn't want to see me again as I needed to sort myself out both physically and mentally. |
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Worst first date. Went to meet a woman I'd been chanting to online. She was beautiful and we got along so well. Her pics didn't quite match her profile. She neglected to tell me she had a penis, goatie and was actually a guy. I was furious and he tried to tell. Me I should try as we got along so well on message. Needless to say I quit online dating.. Kinda. |
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Worst first date: dirty long weekend in a hotel (huge mistake to make that the first date but I was younger and infinitely stupider).
I eventually gave up trying to get laid and ended up lying on the bed wanking while he lay next to me playing candy crush on his phone.
Weirdest wank ever to the occasional encouragement of candy crush sound effects "delicious!", "sweet!", but at least I'd brought my vibrator so got a few orgasms out of it. |
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