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Well its almost Thursday!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My teenage daughters friend has many issues, my daughter stands by and supports her friend, The friend doesn't get to much stick as they come across as not taking it. However my daughter is now the centre of a hate campaign for being friends with a "freak"!
I've approached school and stressed my concerns, what have they done .... naff all, The school prides itself on anti bullying.. its an absolute joke. She leaves in less than 4 weeks so her attendance is paramount.
I'm angry and obviously concerned for my daughter, I feel that as she's a school leaver, its being brushed under the carpet. |
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"My teenage daughters friend has many issues, my daughter stands by and supports her friend, The friend doesn't get to much stick as they come across as not taking it. However my daughter is now the centre of a hate campaign for being friends with a "freak"!
I've approached school and stressed my concerns, what have they done .... naff all, The school prides itself on anti bullying.. its an absolute joke. She leaves in less than 4 weeks so her attendance is paramount.
I'm angry and obviously concerned for my daughter, I feel that as she's a school leaver, its being brushed under the carpet. "
What kind of hate campaign ?
Who is doing what to who ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sons school prided itself on a no bullying policy also...and i had spoken to them on various occasions and even on the day he was attacked as the threat had already been given...they did naff all and i don't think schools do they just kept saying ah hes a big lad and a confidant kid im sure he will be fine and it will all blow over.
They can't do enough for him now,almost as if they feel guilty and he is the same age and i wonder if they would have acted differently had he been 12 or 13. |
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If she's year 11 and leaving soon should not make a difference. However, I suspect it will. She might not be learning much new but doing revision. BBC bitesize (no witty jokes) can help if she refuses school cos of the hate campaign. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My teenage daughters friend has many issues, my daughter stands by and supports her friend, The friend doesn't get to much stick as they come across as not taking it. However my daughter is now the centre of a hate campaign for being friends with a "freak"!
I've approached school and stressed my concerns, what have they done .... naff all, The school prides itself on anti bullying.. its an absolute joke. She leaves in less than 4 weeks so her attendance is paramount.
I'm angry and obviously concerned for my daughter, I feel that as she's a school leaver, its being brushed under the carpet.
What kind of hate campaign ?
Who is doing what to who ?"
Being a mother I say hate campaign ... Its mental bullying, name calling, Facebook/bbm messages, corridor whispers, comments on school bus , that sort of thing. mainly off other year 10/11 pupils |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When our youngest was repeatedly bullied by the same kid, and us repeatedly going to the school. In the end we threatened to take the headmaster, school snd local education authority to court for failing in thier duty if care to our daughter that they finally took it seriously and took action against the boy that wad bullying her. Also one of her elder brothers waited outside the school grounds for him,.sometimes fight fire with fire, never bullied her again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My youngest son, who is 8yo, was going through a period of getting bullied at school from a 11yo lad! I complained to the headmisstress numerous times as did my ex, but with absolutely no results!!
I know it was wrong, but i took the day off work and turned up at the school to confront the lads dad! I told the dad that if it didn't stop there and then, he and i would settle it!
It stopped that day! Sometimes you just have to do whats right for YOUR child! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does she have exams coming up? They need to address it before it affects her studies x"
Yes ... That's my issue but as yet nothing has been done yet I reported it last Thursday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion."
Think it would also be logged on their school record. I think they have a chat with the offenders first before they suspend too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion."
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
Think it would also be logged on their school record. I think they have a chat with the offenders first before they suspend too."
So, the school should be talking with the offenders.. ? And threatening them with suspension / expulsion...?
Would this not make matters worse, outside school hours where the school has no jurisdiction....? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?"
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams."
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams."
 |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams.
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....?"
I don't know the school, the situation or what their policies are. When I have been a governor for Year 11s it would only come to us if things were really bad - violence or actual, substantiated threats. For Year 11s the emphasis was on getting to some sort of mediation and stressing they all need to buckle down for their exams. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams.
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....?"
Exactly!! So if you take matters into your own hands, going to see the parents, speaking with the offenders, it could in fact make it worse for the victim. Then school would say you took the wrong approach. In fact bullying is never resolved.... it just moves on to the next subject so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams.
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....?
Exactly!! So if you take matters into your own hands, going to see the parents, speaking with the offenders, it could in fact make it worse for the victim. Then school would say you took the wrong approach. In fact bullying is never resolved.... it just moves on to the next subject so to speak"
So, leaving the schools aside, because they will do nothing, if I understand properly, are we saying that responsible parents can't sit the children involved down and find a resolution....??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams.
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....?
Exactly!! So if you take matters into your own hands, going to see the parents, speaking with the offenders, it could in fact make it worse for the victim. Then school would say you took the wrong approach. In fact bullying is never resolved.... it just moves on to the next subject so to speak
So, leaving the schools aside, because they will do nothing, if I understand properly, are we saying that responsible parents can't sit the children involved down and find a resolution....???"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped."
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of genuine curiosity...
How does a school "resolve" bullying issues...???
Suspension for the guilty party. If that doesn't work, then expulsion.
This is why I asked.... Wouldn't that make matters worse...?
They are unlikely to suspend anyone in Year 11, also going through exams. The school will be more concerned to get everyone through to the exams.
So, probably, the school can / will do nothing.... So, how is the bullying resolved....?
Exactly!! So if you take matters into your own hands, going to see the parents, speaking with the offenders, it could in fact make it worse for the victim. Then school would say you took the wrong approach. In fact bullying is never resolved.... it just moves on to the next subject so to speak
So, leaving the schools aside, because they will do nothing, if I understand properly, are we saying that responsible parents can't sit the children involved down and find a
resolution....???"
I'm sure that can work in some situations yes, but as I previously said its then on to the next victim. Victims can also be bullied further by the sheer fact that they sort help. Peer pressure is also involved  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped.
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is..."
I couldn't give a toss what you call it! You try watching your son come home day after day with a black eye, or bloody nose or crying because hes had his money taken off him again!! As i said in my earlier post, we went to the school NUMEROUS times with no results. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm sure that can work in some situations yes, but as I previously said its then on to the next victim. Victims can also be bullied further by the sheer fact that they sort help. Peer pressure is also involved "
So, if we adults agree that we would do more good by doing nothing.... Should we really be asking the schools to be able to do something different....?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped.
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is...
I couldn't give a toss what you call it! You try watching your son come home day after day with a black eye, or bloody nose or crying because hes had his money taken off him again!! As i said in my earlier post, we went to the school NUMEROUS times with no results. "
And breathe....!!! I dont say you were wrong, it's probably what I would have done....
I am genuinely curious about the moral implications of expecting the education system to resolve issues... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I'm sure that can work in some situations yes, but as I previously said its then on to the next victim. Victims can also be bullied further by the sheer fact that they sort help. Peer pressure is also involved
So, if we adults agree that we would do more good by doing nothing.... Should we really be asking the schools to be able to do something different....??"
The schools "ask" that you contact them at the first sign of bullying, A majority of it takes place within school hours and on school grounds so of course they should be doing more! Most schools promote anti-bullying so yes we expect things to happen when complaints are made |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped.
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is...
I couldn't give a toss what you call it! You try watching your son come home day after day with a black eye, or bloody nose or crying because hes had his money taken off him again!! As i said in my earlier post, we went to the school NUMEROUS times with no results.
And breathe....!!! I dont say you were wrong, it's probably what I would have done....
I am genuinely curious about the moral implications of expecting the education system to resolve issues..."
The reason we went to the school was because my boy was becoming withdrawn and wanted the schools input in solving the matter. The teachers just fobbed us off with the excuse "boys will be boys"! So, right or wrong, i'm his dad and here to love and protect him, so i did!
As i said, the other lads dad wasn't interested either, at first, until i told him that whatever his lad did next to my lad, i'd do to him. And now the other lad actually plays with my boy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The schools "ask" that you contact them at the first sign of bullying, A majority of it takes place within school hours and on school grounds so of course they should be doing more! Most schools promote anti-bullying so yes we expect things to happen when complaints are made"
Totally agree... But, genuinely, what do the schools do...?
Theres no corporal punishment, no probability of suspending the guilty, and they are probably only going to exacerbate the problem....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped.
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is...
I couldn't give a toss what you call it! You try watching your son come home day after day with a black eye, or bloody nose or crying because hes had his money taken off him again!! As i said in my earlier post, we went to the school NUMEROUS times with no results.
And breathe....!!! I dont say you were wrong, it's probably what I would have done....
I am genuinely curious about the moral implications of expecting the education system to resolve issues...
The reason we went to the school was because my boy was becoming withdrawn and wanted the schools input in solving the matter. The teachers just fobbed us off with the excuse "boys will be boys"! So, right or wrong, i'm his dad and here to love and protect him, so i did!
As i said, the other lads dad wasn't interested either, at first, until i told him that whatever his lad did next to my lad, i'd do to him. And now the other lad actually plays with my boy! "
So... Being a typical caring parent, you found one way of resolving the issue, and equally typically, the children are now mates... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
The schools "ask" that you contact them at the first sign of bullying, A majority of it takes place within school hours and on school grounds so of course they should be doing more! Most schools promote anti-bullying so yes we expect things to happen when complaints are made
Totally agree... But, genuinely, what do the schools do...?
Theres no corporal punishment, no probability of suspending the guilty, and they are probably only going to exacerbate the problem....
"
It actual fact they do very little,. that is why bullying continues to be such a major problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In an ideal world yeah! But try having a civil conversation with a guy thats doped up to eyeballs about his kid bullying yours!
Theres only so many, "yeah mans" you can take! It eventualy got to the point where i told him if his son ever went near mine again, then me and him would sort it out between us. As i said, the bullying stopped.
Ahh..So bullying is the solution to bullying...???
Perhaps the schools could use this as a method of teaching children how wrong it is...
I couldn't give a toss what you call it! You try watching your son come home day after day with a black eye, or bloody nose or crying because hes had his money taken off him again!! As i said in my earlier post, we went to the school NUMEROUS times with no results.
And breathe....!!! I dont say you were wrong, it's probably what I would have done....
I am genuinely curious about the moral implications of expecting the education system to resolve issues...
The reason we went to the school was because my boy was becoming withdrawn and wanted the schools input in solving the matter. The teachers just fobbed us off with the excuse "boys will be boys"! So, right or wrong, i'm his dad and here to love and protect him, so i did!
As i said, the other lads dad wasn't interested either, at first, until i told him that whatever his lad did next to my lad, i'd do to him. And now the other lad actually plays with my boy!
So... Being a typical caring parent, you found one way of resolving the issue, and equally typically, the children are now mates..."
Yep. We found out that the lads mum had a word with him, guess his 'dad' was busy, and she told my ex that her boy wanted included in the group of friends my son had. But didn't know how to, so resorted to his 'dads' behaviour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So... Being a typical caring parent, you found one way of resolving the issue, and equally typically, the children are now mates...
Yep. We found out that the lads mum had a word with him, guess his 'dad' was busy, and she told my ex that her boy wanted included in the group of friends my son had. But didn't know how to, so resorted to his 'dads' behaviour.
"
So one solution may be to sit both children down and, help them, sort out the problem behind the trouble....
Who needs schools....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My youngest son, who is 8yo, was going through a period of getting bullied at school from a 11yo lad! I complained to the headmisstress numerous times as did my ex, but with absolutely no results!!
I know it was wrong, but i took the day off work and turned up at the school to confront the lads dad! I told the dad that if it didn't stop there and then, he and i would settle it!
It stopped that day! Sometimes you just have to do whats right for YOUR child!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am going to back a few years when my son was at school, he is now 22.
It was when he started year 8 that was when the problems started and although we (Me and his dad ex) knew why this was happening nobody on the outside did.
He studied really hard to achieve what he wanted, and in year 11 it took a turn for the worse.
You see my had come out as gay. we knew but the school didn't have a clue at all.
He was bullied so much that his grades went down and he skipped school to get out of what was going on.
I knew that a teacher in his year was gay herself, so i went to her for help. She was amazing and even stood up in front of the whole school that Homophobic's would not be welcome at any stage of a child's life in the School.
From that time on it has been a policy of their's ......  |
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