Keep making the same mistakes?
Sitting here crying so much head hurts over the same guy that broke me in November.
It's not his fault at all. I can't let go even though all it does is cause pain.
I'm really trying this time buy now do I break the cycle? |
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"If I were you I wouldn't allow myself to get feelings for another man when you are happily married."
If only I had had a choice about that.
I've been completely open and honest with my husband all the way through. Its not love but enough feelings are involved for it to be complicated |
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"Keep making the same mistakes?
Sitting here crying so much head hurts over the same guy that broke me in November.
It's not his fault at all. I can't let go even though all it does is cause pain.
I'm really trying this time buy now do I break the cycle?"
Oh lovely I'm so sorry... sending hugs xx |
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"If I were you I wouldn't allow myself to get feelings for another man when you are happily married.
If only I had had a choice about that.
I've been completely open and honest with my husband all the way through. Its not love but enough feelings are involved for it to be complicated "
Sorry to read it's complicated and you're very upset but you do have a choice about your situation. You are in control and should walk away from people who cause you upset. Don't allow them to hurt you.
You say you're happily married so focus on your husband and forget this other person.
I am sorry if that sounds harsh but you, your husband and your marriage are what should matter, not the 3rd person.
Hope you're ok. |
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Unfortunately we can't help who we have feelings for...
Although this is one reason I wouldn't want either of us to have a regular partner. To be fair I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be an issue... but it saves the risk.
I have to say it would hurt me If my partner got upset about losing or not seeing another person.
Cali |
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"Keep making the same mistakes?
Sitting here crying so much head hurts over the same guy that broke me in November.
It's not his fault at all. I can't let go even though all it does is cause pain.
I'm really trying this time buy now do I break the cycle?"
How does hubby feel about this situation? Is he going to find this thread? Does he even know that you have feelings of some sort for this guy?
You have said that you keep making the same mistakes with this guy. Did you not see the huge red flag before it wrapped itself around you? Was your husband aware of any red flags? Did you openly communicate with your husband - and I mean really honestly communicate with him about the man you repeat met with, and discuss all risks together?
You want to know how to break the cycle, well I would advise you to discuss and agree that with your husband. Try sense checking yourself with all play partners, especially those you repeat meet with by asking yourself if you could easily walk away and forget them. If no, then you don't play with them again. It's really that simple.
I am being very direct with you, for a good reason and not because I am a cow bag - although you are entitled to think of me as one. Your marriage is the priority, your effort and emotions are for your husband and not people you fuck from here.
I do hope the negativity passes, genuinely I do. Take care.
Mrs
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If I was in a couple, which I have been previously on here (though not married to him), we were each other's priority. No chance feelings could be involved with anyone else, as the boundaries were always there. |
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Thank you for all the replies, even those who are worried about sounding harsh.
I'm not taking anything that's been said in a negative way, you've all said what I already know.
I can honestly say my marriage is the one thing I'm not worried about. He has been involved every step of the way. He's not been happy all the way through and his needs have been my top priority. However he is amazing and recognised that this is something I needed to explore and has let me find my way.
I honestly don't know I would have the same faith if it was the other way around. |
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"If I were you I wouldn't allow myself to get feelings for another man when you are happily married.
If only I had had a choice about that.
I've been completely open and honest with my husband all the way through. Its not love but enough feelings are involved for it to be complicated "
My husband nursed my heart back to normal when it happened to me 3 years ago.
Now I keep everyone at arm’s length- never putting myself into that position again.
Friends, yes. Benefits, yes. Romantic feelings? Nah.
Doesn’t make it any less raw right now. I know. 🧸 |
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I'm so sorry, I've had this kind of experience before (let a guy in, got hurt, let him in again, got hurt again). It feels impossible, but the best thing is to go cold turkey and remove him from your life so you have space 🖤 |
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"If I were you I wouldn't allow myself to get feelings for another man when you are happily married.
If only I had had a choice about that.
I've been completely open and honest with my husband all the way through. Its not love but enough feelings are involved for it to be complicated
My husband nursed my heart back to normal when it happened to me 3 years ago.
Now I keep everyone at arm’s length- never putting myself into that position again.
Friends, yes. Benefits, yes. Romantic feelings? Nah.
Doesn’t make it any less raw right now. I know. 🧸 "
Thank you, I feel less silly knowing I'm not the only one |
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As other have said - if it is causing you issues then you need to block and move on. Heartless but you have to do it. If it is a recurrent theme then maybe you need to move on from the site.
What does the other chap say? Does he know about the way you feel?
Personally I would want to know if I was causing issues because I would probably force it and move on myself. That’s not me being a heartless bastard but I largely see my role on here as an addition to a couples relationship and I would never want to get in the way of that. |
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"You’ll reach a point where you just have enough. It’ll creep up on you and then BAM…
“Fuck off Dave I’m not interested!”
And you’ll mean it."
This made me actually laugh out loud cause you got his name right  |
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"You’ll reach a point where you just have enough. It’ll creep up on you and then BAM…
“Fuck off Dave I’m not interested!”
And you’ll mean it.
This made me actually laugh out loud cause you got his name right "
Can we all collectively tell Dave to fuck off? |
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"As other have said - if it is causing you issues then you need to block and move on. Heartless but you have to do it. If it is a recurrent theme then maybe you need to move on from the site.
What does the other chap say? Does he know about the way you feel?
Personally I would want to know if I was causing issues because I would probably force it and move on myself. That’s not me being a heartless bastard but I largely see my role on here as an addition to a couples relationship and I would never want to get in the way of that."
He's barely on here so this site isn't an issue.
He does know and he hates hurting me at all. It really isn't his fault, he just finds it as hard as I do.
We've talked today and I've been stronger and told him we need a break. He's in complete agreement. I just have to stick to it this time. |
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The silver lining is that that we’ve got a lot of films/books/songs that we can get the boohoos out over before throwing on some make up and faking it till we make it. Heartbreak is a universally shit situation. Most of us have been there at some point.
Hope your head and heart recover quickly! |
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By *ony MannMan 4 days ago
Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Andover |
We all get feelings for others, not everyone we bed but some. The problem is it is not always reciprocated.
I don't know why you are feeling bad but sometimes it is best just to move on,have a big regret and hope it gets less.
X |
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