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Domestic sub contract
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Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ? |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?"
This is why I don't believe in FemDom - already he's got you doing shit for him when "he's" wanting to be your sub.
Whine over - just Google bdsm contacts. There's bound to be something that pops up. |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?
This is why I don't believe in FemDom - already he's got you doing shit for him when "he's" wanting to be your sub.
Whine over - just Google bdsm contacts. There's bound to be something that pops up. "
Contract- ffs |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?
This is why I don't believe in FemDom - already he's got you doing shit for him when "he's" wanting to be your sub.
Whine over - just Google bdsm contacts. There's bound to be something that pops up. "
Thanks, see no experience never thought of that |
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"He's said he'll sign a contract without even knowing what's on it !? 
I doubt it will be legally binding.
"
Well no but in the spirit of the game what would be the point of the contract if he was able to refuse the terms. |
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"He's said he'll sign a contract without even knowing what's on it !?
I doubt it will be legally binding.
Well no but in the spirit of the game what would be the point of the contract if he was able to refuse the terms."
This is why I don't believe in FemDom. Its all about the male fantasy - in my opinion anyway.
I'd love to get guys round to clean my flat, I just need to clean it first before I invite anyone round  |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?"
Thanks all, now have a couple of contracts that I can adapt |
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"He's said he'll sign a contract without even knowing what's on it !?
I doubt it will be legally binding.
Well no but in the spirit of the game what would be the point of the contract if he was able to refuse the terms.
This is why I don't believe in FemDom. Its all about the male fantasy - in my opinion anyway.
I'd love to get guys round to clean my flat, I just need to clean it first before I invite anyone round "
 same here. |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?
Thanks all, now have a couple of contracts that I can adapt "
Excellent x hope it all works out for you and you have some fun |
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I’m sorry but this for me is what gives the “scene” a bad name
Writing and signing contracts with people you don’t really know and thinks that Google will give you the answer as they don’t know either
What happened to getting to know someone, to learn their likes and dislikes and what they and you need and can offer
The ability to fuck someone up mentally is huge and this is a classic way of how it happens |
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"I’m sorry but this for me is what gives the “scene” a bad name
Writing and signing contracts with people you don’t really know and thinks that Google will give you the answer as they don’t know either
What happened to getting to know someone, to learn their likes and dislikes and what they and you need and can offer
The ability to fuck someone up mentally is huge and this is a classic way of how it happens "
I tend to agree.
The whole power dynamic is built on trust, just turning up and doing stuff has an infinite number of ways that it could go wrong. This guy could simply rob you whilst they cleaned…
I feel very apprehensive about anyone that jumps into dynamics quickly and without discussing beforehand without a baseline of understanding of each other or what they’re doing |
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"...
The ability to fuck someone up mentally is huge and this is a classic way of how it happens "
__
Might be a bit too late for that... Don't think the mental health of the person offering would change much if the offer is accepted  |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
"
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly "
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that to. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site. |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site. "
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site.
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot"
Are you reading from the big book of BDSM etiquette. All this gatekeeping is so tedious. Its a sub wanting to clean not a 50 lash judicial caning. |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site.
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot
Are you reading from the big book of BDSM etiquette. All this gatekeeping is so tedious. Its a sub wanting to clean not a 50 lash judicial caning. "
It’s not gatekeeping, it’s basic safety for everyone involved. I’m sorry if that’s tedious for you though |
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I was at a Munch yesterday and the discussion topic was the links between sex and BDSM. Hearing some people say that it's not the acts themselves but the manipulation and mindfuckery that they get off on was quite an eye-opener. Caution between new play partners is very sensible whatever the dynamic. |
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"I had a guy offering to come round and do my household chores 😂 nothing expected in return apparently...
😂"
I've had this one. Many times actually after I put a status update up as a joke from a forum game.
So many wanted to come round, clean my house naked with the curtains open. |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site.
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot
Are you reading from the big book of BDSM etiquette. All this gatekeeping is so tedious. Its a sub wanting to clean not a 50 lash judicial caning.
It’s not gatekeeping, it’s basic safety for everyone involved. I’m sorry if that’s tedious for you though"
Someone's just posted about Domino's pizza. Do you want to chime in about the hazards of stuffed cheese crusts too - I mean, its just basic safety for everyone involved too.
Clearly we're not going to see eye to eye on this and I do get that it is important to safeguard yourself as well as others in Power play or other BDSM dynamics. Just kinda want this lady to have some fun. |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site.
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot
Are you reading from the big book of BDSM etiquette. All this gatekeeping is so tedious. Its a sub wanting to clean not a 50 lash judicial caning.
It’s not gatekeeping, it’s basic safety for everyone involved. I’m sorry if that’s tedious for you though
Someone's just posted about Domino's pizza. Do you want to chime in about the hazards of stuffed cheese crusts too - I mean, its just basic safety for everyone involved too.
Clearly we're not going to see eye to eye on this and I do get that it is important to safeguard yourself as well as others in Power play or other BDSM dynamics. Just kinda want this lady to have some fun. "
Yeah, we’re not. If you understand the importance then why would you encourage someone else to do something potentially reckless? Especially if you know the dangers?
You don’t need to reply. Enjoy your day |
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"He wants to clean, she wants him to clean. There is a non legally binding contract involved. It's just a bit of role play.
Not really seeing the problem here.
Cleaners are hired through cleaning companies where there are insurances and channels if something gets lost or the cleaner does something they shouldn’t.
It’s not just about the cleaning, this is a power dynamic and has the potential to go very wrong very quickly
It also has the ability to be a lot of fun and go smoothly. If she was meeting someone from here to come around for sex there is risk associated with that too. But here we all are. Adults on a swingers site.
If you understand the complexities of power dynamics then you’ll know, if you don’t then your opinion is moot
Are you reading from the big book of BDSM etiquette. All this gatekeeping is so tedious. Its a sub wanting to clean not a 50 lash judicial caning.
It’s not gatekeeping, it’s basic safety for everyone involved. I’m sorry if that’s tedious for you though
Someone's just posted about Domino's pizza. Do you want to chime in about the hazards of stuffed cheese crusts too - I mean, its just basic safety for everyone involved too.
Clearly we're not going to see eye to eye on this and I do get that it is important to safeguard yourself as well as others in Power play or other BDSM dynamics. Just kinda want this lady to have some fun.
Yeah, we’re not. If you understand the importance then why would you encourage someone else to do something potentially reckless? Especially if you know the dangers?
You don’t need to reply. Enjoy your day "
Now you're telling me what I do and don't need to do? Too funny |
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Op hasn't said whether or not she has met him before, so it seems to be jumping to conclusions to assume she's seeking to sign a contract with a stranger?
People can also be inexperienced and ask for help, there's nothing wrong with that.
I can't help but feel like the reactions from the more experienced are what gives the scene a bad name (if it needs more help..). |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?
Thanks all, now have a couple of contracts that I can adapt "
I don't actually like contracts personally because they tend towards "rules lawyering", but others seem to like how it clearly sets out the conditions of play. So I would set it out like that - as a set of red lines, and a set of things you're both likely to consent to, and of safe words, etc etc. Have some fun with it.
Importantly, note (in person and in text) that nothing in this contract infringes on your natural rights to withdraw consent and disengage at any point - this is obviously true, but should also be something you clarify anyway. |
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"Op hasn't said whether or not she has met him before, so it seems to be jumping to conclusions to assume she's seeking to sign a contract with a stranger?
People can also be inexperienced and ask for help, there's nothing wrong with that.
I can't help but feel like the reactions from the more experienced are what gives the scene a bad name (if it needs more help..)."
Yep. As most bdsm threads on here go. But then this is a swingers site....
OP I'd suggest maybe go to your local munch with your sub and you both can get some more clarification/tips on the domesticated chores kink.
Good luck and have fun |
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"Hi, I have a guy wanting to be my domestic sub, love the idea but no experience as dominant except in the bedroom, he has asked me to write a contract that he will sign - any advice on what it should look like ?"
.
I’d be up for it but for me there needs to be some kind of reward on completion |
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It's funny how some people seem to have a running order on what and how others should play. If you're not doing it their way then you are in the wrong and giving the whole "scene" a bad rap. I tend to play more evolutionary and let thing unfold naturally rather than have a huge lists of dos and don'ts. I can see where having clear boundaries are useful and I would advice setting some if you are unsure. As someone who has enjoyed CFnm service sessions in the past I didn't feel the need to write an 8 page risk assessment beforehand |
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"It's funny how some people seem to have a running order on what and how others should play."
Right off the back you were ranting about male submissives asking for what they want from a D/s relationship 😂 calm down. |
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"It's funny how some people seem to have a running order on what and how others should play.
Right off the back you were ranting about male submissives asking for what they want from a D/s relationship 😂 calm down."
If you want to pick the bones out of my comments you might want to use the correct phrase. It's "right off the bat" not back. Also voicing an opinion is not "ranting". |
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