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Anything worse than loneliness
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By *uperS77 OP Man 6 days ago
Gloucester |
I don’t think there are a lot of mor mentally challenging things than loneliness in our modern society.
After Covid I really thought there would be a move to a more inclusive gentler kinder society, looking out for those who were finding it hard to cope with being alone. As the pandemic highlighted this with self isolation etc. I experienced it myself being cut off from my kids and family.
However with the pace of life nowadays I think lots of people are forgotten, and wish this could be changed. |
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Why are you lonely?. Do you have friends, family or work colleagues nearby?. Have you considered getting a dog for companionship or a joining some kind of social group. You could also do voluntary work to get you out the house and meet new people. |
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"Why are you lonely?. Do you have friends, family or work colleagues nearby?. Have you considered getting a dog for companionship or a joining some kind of social group. You could also do voluntary work to get you out the house and meet new people."
Or post on an internet forum and engage with the people on there like you have.
If someone is feeling lonely then it is they who have to take steps to remedy that.
Loneliness will present to everybody on a different level, some may experience loneliness more acutely than others, having limited interactions for only a short period may induce feelings of loneliness in some, while for others prolonged solitude is bliss.
Society cannot tell these individuals apart, they need to help themselves a bit.
Hope that all didn’t come across as uncaring. |
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I think there are different types of loneliness, and stages or levels.
A person could have all the friends in the world all the likes on tik tok and still feel lonely.
I find distraction gets me out of the feeling if I get it. I do something that takes my mind of it. Generally I prefer being alone, especially when it comes to relationships, lover or companion.
Caring for someone helps to, as my mom's carer I rarely feel lonely. Maybe volunteering may be a good distraction for some.
If someone lives alone it can be harder definitely and once they fall into an isolated state it's hard to break out.
They may become more of a recluse.
Some people prefer being a recluse.
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By *uperS77 OP Man 6 days ago
Gloucester |
There just feels like so much social isolation in the country, I think it comes also from the aging population who don’t know what to do on social media, old connections are eroded due to friends and family passing, and that feeling that no one cares is apparent. Which I thought this sense of entitlement would have lessened but it’s only getting worse due to far right politics of selfishness |
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Loneliness is dreadful.
My dad will soon be 98, my mum died nearly three years ago, they'd been marry 67 years. He goes out almost daily to various clubs and church functions where he is well known. One of my brothers and I call him daily and Mr N and I visit him frequently. He's still lonely though because of the hours and hours at a stretch that he's alone because he always returns to an empty house because there's no one to share the small insignificant events of the day.
There is simply nothing that will alleviate that kind of loneliness.
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"There just feels like so much social isolation in the country, I think it comes also from the aging population who don’t know what to do on social media, old connections are eroded due to friends and family passing, and that feeling that no one cares is apparent. Which I thought this sense of entitlement would have lessened but it’s only getting worse due to far right politics of selfishness "
There is quite a lot in place for older people. It's a case of getting out and joining in. The ones who really suffer are those who can't get out |
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By *uperS77 OP Man 6 days ago
Gloucester |
"There just feels like so much social isolation in the country, I think it comes also from the aging population who don’t know what to do on social media, old connections are eroded due to friends and family passing, and that feeling that no one cares is apparent. Which I thought this sense of entitlement would have lessened but it’s only getting worse due to far right politics of selfishness
There is quite a lot in place for older people. It's a case of getting out and joining in. The ones who really suffer are those who can't get out"
absolutely this or can’t access social media or the internet to get to know about things, lots are in grief as well |
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"Loneliness is dreadful.
My dad will soon be 98, my mum died nearly three years ago, they'd been marry 67 years. He goes out almost daily to various clubs and church functions where he is well known. One of my brothers and I call him daily and Mr N and I visit him frequently. He's still lonely though because of the hours and hours at a stretch that he's alone because he always returns to an empty house because there's no one to share the small insignificant events of the day.
There is simply nothing that will alleviate that kind of loneliness.
"
Oh, that cuts deep, MrsNC 😢 |
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"I don’t think there are a lot of mor mentally challenging things than loneliness in our modern society.
After Covid I really thought there would be a move to a more inclusive gentler kinder society, looking out for those who were finding it hard to cope with being alone. As the pandemic highlighted this with self isolation etc. I experienced it myself being cut off from my kids and family.
However with the pace of life nowadays I think lots of people are forgotten, and wish this could be changed. "
All COVID and the lockdown achieved was to make people more selfish and self centered than I can ever remember in my lifetime.
We are seeing this today with the way people act particularly driving, arrogant self attitudes with disregard for everyone else me me me..
So I can imagine that this would add to someone's feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Additionally pub's closing at an alarming rate and high Street dying on its arse, there's no sense of community and feeling like you belong.
So much for progress eh  |
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"Loneliness is dreadful.
My dad will soon be 98, my mum died nearly three years ago, they'd been marry 67 years. He goes out almost daily to various clubs and church functions where he is well known. One of my brothers and I call him daily and Mr N and I visit him frequently. He's still lonely though because of the hours and hours at a stretch that he's alone because he always returns to an empty house because there's no one to share the small insignificant events of the day.
There is simply nothing that will alleviate that kind of loneliness.
Oh, that cuts deep, MrsNC 😢"
He's coping Nell but it's hard for him. |
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"I don’t think there are a lot of mor mentally challenging things than loneliness in our modern society.
After Covid I really thought there would be a move to a more inclusive gentler kinder society, looking out for those who were finding it hard to cope with being alone. As the pandemic highlighted this with self isolation etc. I experienced it myself being cut off from my kids and family.
However with the pace of life nowadays I think lots of people are forgotten, and wish this could be changed.
All COVID and the lockdown achieved was to make people more selfish and self centered than I can ever remember in my lifetime.
We are seeing this today with the way people act particularly driving, arrogant self attitudes with disregard for everyone else me me me..
So I can imagine that this would add to someone's feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Additionally pub's closing at an alarming rate and high Street dying on its arse, there's no sense of community and feeling like you belong.
So much for progress eh "
I think you're right sadly. |
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"I don’t think there are a lot of mor mentally challenging things than loneliness in our modern society.
After Covid I really thought there would be a move to a more inclusive gentler kinder society, looking out for those who were finding it hard to cope with being alone. As the pandemic highlighted this with self isolation etc. I experienced it myself being cut off from my kids and family.
However with the pace of life nowadays I think lots of people are forgotten, and wish this could be changed.
All COVID and the lockdown achieved was to make people more selfish and self centered than I can ever remember in my lifetime.
We are seeing this today with the way people act particularly driving, arrogant self attitudes with disregard for everyone else me me me..
So I can imagine that this would add to someone's feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Additionally pub's closing at an alarming rate and high Street dying on its arse, there's no sense of community and feeling like you belong.
So much for progress eh "
I remember my nearest county town in the 90s when I was a kid with family or friends, go into Wollies and I'd look through all the stuff and salivate over it we'd go into Argos and flip through the laminated catalogues, and maybe get a happy meal at the newly opened MacDonald's after a film at the cinema and it wouldn't have been a complicated experience akin to being on the Enterprise and not needed a small fortune.
The town centre was always buzzing and exciting full of people of all ages, and going there felt exciting and optimistic, to me as a kid at least.
Thirty odd years later and it's a plethora of bookie shops, barbers, charity shops, takeaways Poundland or Cash Converters, all the big chain shops like Wollies, Argos, M&S and BHS are long gone either boarded up and empty or "opening soon" with questionable groups of people loitering around and the constant steady stream of Deliveroo bikes shuffling in and out everywhere.
The shopping centre appears all but deserted save for, homeless, druggies, beggars and a few elderly people generally looking lost.
You look at pictures of the 60s or even the 80s or 90s and it was bright, clean, full of healthy looking people. Aimless chasing a material illusion in a TV advert that never arrives, how can it change so much in my lifetime, it's like witnessing the slow motion decline of a country in a microcosm. At least in a banana republic the weather is nice, but don’t even have that.
This depressing post was brought to you by ChatGPT or something. |
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Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting. |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting. "
I live in an area with a veritable fuckton of community organisations for people who want them. It takes free time, money, and very dedicated volunteers. (Once it's set up, less money or hassle. But I think most people don't have the resources or energy to overcome that) |
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If social media has taught us anything it’s that a % of people around us are homicidal and would sell our remains to their local Greggs for the price of a decent Lidl shop. And that’s assuming free parking
So community isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting.
I live in an area with a veritable fuckton of community organisations for people who want them. It takes free time, money, and very dedicated volunteers. (Once it's set up, less money or hassle. But I think most people don't have the resources or energy to overcome that)"
There are a few organised communities in this area. I was meaning more the community that exists in streets, housing estates and neighbourhoods that developed organically. |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting.
I live in an area with a veritable fuckton of community organisations for people who want them. It takes free time, money, and very dedicated volunteers. (Once it's set up, less money or hassle. But I think most people don't have the resources or energy to overcome that)
There are a few organised communities in this area. I was meaning more the community that exists in streets, housing estates and neighbourhoods that developed organically. "
I think that's difficult given current culture. But if you're part of Yourtown Organisation X, you get to know people who live nearby. It's a virtuous circle. |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting.
I live in an area with a veritable fuckton of community organisations for people who want them. It takes free time, money, and very dedicated volunteers. (Once it's set up, less money or hassle. But I think most people don't have the resources or energy to overcome that)
There are a few organised communities in this area. I was meaning more the community that exists in streets, housing estates and neighbourhoods that developed organically.
I think that's difficult given current culture. But if you're part of Yourtown Organisation X, you get to know people who live nearby. It's a virtuous circle."
True
One thing I do know about myself is that I'm not a 'joiner'. Groups, clubs, organised events are just not for me |
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I'd go with abandonment being worse than being lonely.
There's always something that can be done to stop us being lonely. If not family, then lodgers, groups, volunteering, churches,etc etc. social media gives us access to an abundance of people wanting to connect. But to be abandoned by someone you were attached to, really cuts deep in our mental health  |
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I spend a lot of time alone but am fortunate to have friends if need them. I do wonder how long would it take for some to realise if had not been in touch.
When I read stories about people who had passed at home but not found for period of time it does make me feel sad. |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting. "
People just leave the house get in the car and drive off, road I'm in only got a bus stop last year |
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"Do you think it's possible to create community, if enough people are interested?
When we moved here nearly ten years ago we really made an effort to be neighbourly. It was a waste of time because nobody was interested.
I think we have the community people want, most are happy in their bubble and have no interest in getting their neighbours washing in if it rains, lending someone a few teabags or just leaning over the fence and chatting. "
I think you only see what you want to see, and I don’t jean that in a nasty way.
Sure lots of people are busy and have demanding families and stuff going on with careers and don’t need or have time for community but there are pockets of people in all communities that do need it.
Over the last few decades I think they’re doing worse off as some of the family structures and community structures have become diminished by - the Internet, mobile technology, socialism, which likes to take the role of caring and looking after everybody, but does it very badly.
I worked on some projects in my 30s, I used to run a men’s Saturday morning breakfast, a Sunday evening church in a pub, and found people right on our doorstep in suburbia are desperate for community.
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