FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > New here but 0% interest from anyone
New here but 0% interest from anyone
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Hey fabbers. Im new of sorts to the site. Have been scrolling a little while trying to work it all out. I know im no 10/10 but a good 7 that looks after himself, clean, tidy, of a good size and yet anyone i have got in touch with hasn't even responded. Anyone with any clues, hints or instructions as to what i can changed or learn it would be much appreciated x |
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There’s no perfect working way to get a response here, we’re all different. Getting your personality across on a message is always difficult, my advice would be to seek out social events in your area and get yourself on the guest list, ive been far more successful doing that than messaging profiles on here. |
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"Hey fabbers. Im new of sorts to the site. Have been scrolling a little while trying to work it all out. I know im no 10/10 but a good 7 that looks after himself, clean, tidy, of a good size and yet anyone i have got in touch with hasn't even responded. Anyone with any clues, hints or instructions as to what i can changed or learn it would be much appreciated x"
What were your expectations on joining?
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Fab can be difficult - men often feel ignored, women swamped.
There's no guarantee. But if you make your profile as appealing as you can (good text and pictures), read and address profiles when you message, and respect people's preferences, you'll be doing better than a lot of men. (Messages with full sentences help. "Hi", "x", "wuu2" etc are little better than spam) |
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"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
That's up for you to figure out.
Also I have no idea why that's something that needs a PM. "
Blunt but absolutely spot on.
A simple suggestion. Why not take the time to look at the profiles of the successful guys on here.
Look at what they are doing and you aren't. You will find they are doing a LOT more.
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"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol"
"I am new to all this but wouldn't mind being taught the ropes"
I prefer someone with experience who already has good skills. |
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"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
I'd pm you with suggestions, but you blocked men. The cynic tells me you've said that as an 'in'  "
Newbie will quickly learn that us women weren't born yesterday  |
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When you say you’re new to this, what do you mean? Swinging? Or casual? Or just sex in general lol.
Also, people talking about the gym would put me off, purely because it suggests that they’d be after someone who does/ looks the same and that’s not me. I’d suggest writing something about your “type” so people know if they’d meet your expectations.
I’d be careful with posting uniforms as well as a face pic. Unless you’re not actually a firefighter lol |
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"Hey fabbers. Im new of sorts to the site. Have been scrolling a little while trying to work it all out. I know im no 10/10 but a good 7 that looks after himself, clean, tidy, of a good size and yet anyone i have got in touch with hasn't even responded. Anyone with any clues, hints or instructions as to what i can changed or learn it would be much appreciated x"
Tbf you already have a clear face pic up. Remembering that you can't be attractive to everyone would be a good start. You will find your person eventually OP. |
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"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
I'd pm you with suggestions, but you blocked men. The cynic tells me you've said that as an 'in'
Newbie will quickly learn that us women weren't born yesterday "
Well I can assure you that I also was not born yesterday.
I can only really speak for myself, but being helpful on the forums is just something of my nature, of which I'm confident there's plenty that are similar to me from speaking to several of them. People often try and take "helpful" as naivety though, something that anyone that knows me would not describe me as.
But through that digression the point I'm making is that deceit is fairly easy to spot for anyone who wants to open their eyes and look  |
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"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
I'd pm you with suggestions, but you blocked men. The cynic tells me you've said that as an 'in'
Newbie will quickly learn that us women weren't born yesterday
Well I can assure you that I also was not born yesterday.
I can only really speak for myself, but being helpful on the forums is just something of my nature, of which I'm confident there's plenty that are similar to me from speaking to several of them. People often try and take "helpful" as naivety though, something that anyone that knows me would not describe me as.
But through that digression the point I'm making is that deceit is fairly easy to spot for anyone who wants to open their eyes and look "
I was agreeing with you, sorry. You said that the cynic in you takes it as an in.
It's usually an in, but, like you, we know |
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"Can I just check what you think your username means please?
I am curious too
I got a private message with a reply but we can’t post private messages in the forum so I can’t tell ya  "
A thread to find women to message, when things could be answered in the thread. How original |
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"Can I just check what you think your username means please?
I am curious too
I got a private message with a reply but we can’t post private messages in the forum so I can’t tell ya "
OP any chance of posting the reply in this forum please, so we can all see it ? |
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"Can I just check what you think your username means please?
I am curious too
I got a private message with a reply but we can’t post private messages in the forum so I can’t tell ya
OP any chance of posting the reply in this forum please, so we can all see it ?"
Ok let’s see if I get away with this. I have always thought it meant along the lines of “granny I’d like to fuck” but I think the OP maybe didn’t realise it’s pretty much only for ‘females’ ie granny not grandad in common usage these days. I can already feel a timeout coming. |
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"Can I just check what you think your username means please?
I am curious too
I got a private message with a reply but we can’t post private messages in the forum so I can’t tell ya
A thread to find women to message, when things could be answered in the thread. How original "
Indeed |
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"anyone i have got in touch with hasn't even responded. Anyone with any clues, hints or instructions "
As no one has responded to your messages, I think you should consider changing your name and profile pic as they seem not to be appealing to women if you have zero response. Also, what sort of first message do you send ? |
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I’m going to go against the grain on the replies of this thread, OP, and your photos actually look ok…. Bio could use some work though
There are many factors at play when contacting someone and expecting a reply. People have to be interested, attracted, and having the time and space to reply. Many messages slip through the hundreds of messages net.
It can be quite disheartening as a single guy I guess.
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By *hirleyMan 53 minutes ago
somewhere |
"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
I'd pm you with suggestions, but you blocked men. The cynic tells me you've said that as an 'in'
Newbie will quickly learn that us women weren't born yesterday
Well I can assure you that I also was not born yesterday.
I can only really speak for myself, but being helpful on the forums is just something of my nature, of which I'm confident there's plenty that are similar to me from speaking to several of them. People often try and take "helpful" as naivety though, something that anyone that knows me would not describe me as.
But through that digression the point I'm making is that deceit is fairly easy to spot for anyone who wants to open their eyes and look
I was agreeing with you, sorry. You said that the cynic in you takes it as an in.
It's usually an in, but, like you, we know "
Yeah it's all good, the forums aren't to be taken too seriously imo |
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By *hirleyMan 42 minutes ago
somewhere |
"anyone i have got in touch with hasn't even responded. Anyone with any clues, hints or instructions
As no one has responded to your messages, I think you should consider changing your name and profile pic as they seem not to be appealing to women if you have zero response. Also, what sort of first message do you send ?"
Not that I think your advice is wrong or singling you out Sally, but I don't understand why so many people rarely advise in these posts (there's many) that the way to get your 'foot in the door' is not to treat this place like it's tindershag. This is something that judging from what OP has said here and in the profile he sees it as. From personal experience, you're infinitely more likely to get as the op said; interest, if you actually go to the swingers clubs... |
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No its a legitimate ask as to what im doing wrong. I was married for 19 years until 3 years ago. Last time i was dating online dating wasn't a thing. Im old school see a pretty woman, pluck up the courage to go chat and possibly face rejection face to face. I am sort of struggling with online dating trying to show the real me through a bio. Hope that clears this up and shows its not just a ploy |
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"No its a legitimate ask as to what im doing wrong. I was married for 19 years until 3 years ago. Last time i was dating online dating wasn't a thing. Im old school see a pretty woman, pluck up the courage to go chat and possibly face rejection face to face. I am sort of struggling with online dating trying to show the real me through a bio. Hope that clears this up and shows its not just a ploy"
I answered your question above.
It's the private message thing that feels like a ploy. |
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I would like to say i am a firefighter, i have saved lives and also served in the army. I think its fudging disgusting when people lie about this. I have friends that was badly injured risking their lives for people they don't know and 100% should be against the law like in america. There is nothing on my profile that is not even close to even bending the truth. This is me trying to learn the modern way of dating/hook ups. Take the pee all you want but manage 19 years with one person and see just how out of touch you too would be on the dating scene. |
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"No its a legitimate ask as to what im doing wrong. I was married for 19 years until 3 years ago. Last time i was dating online dating wasn't a thing. Im old school see a pretty woman, pluck up the courage to go chat and possibly face rejection face to face. I am sort of struggling with online dating trying to show the real me through a bio. Hope that clears this up and shows its not just a ploy"
This isn’t a dating site tho. |
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I know i was talking in general. I am single, busy with kids, 2 jobs and living that finding someone to build a relationship with is a struggle so if i can meet people to have fun with here and there would be alot more easier than dating |
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"I would like to say i am a firefighter, i have saved lives and also served in the army. I think its fudging disgusting when people lie about this. I have friends that was badly injured risking their lives for people they don't know and 100% should be against the law like in america. There is nothing on my profile that is not even close to even bending the truth. "
No one has disputed the fact you are a firefighter |
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"I know i was talking in general. I am single, busy with kids, 2 jobs and living that finding someone to build a relationship with is a struggle so if i can meet people to have fun with here and there would be alot more easier than dating "
Use the reply+quote button (below the message you're replying to, on the right), so we know who you're talking to |
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"I know i was talking in general. I am single, busy with kids, 2 jobs and living that finding someone to build a relationship with is a struggle so if i can meet people to have fun with here and there would be alot more easier than dating
Use the reply+quote button (below the message you're replying to, on the right), so we know who you're talking to "
Ah ok that makes sense hahaha |
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"Maybe i confused about when people are saying they can see through my post"
The ploy I was talking about was trying to slide into private messages, rather than having a discussion in the thread.
I don't doubt you're a firefighter. |
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"Maybe i confused about when people are saying they can see through my post
The ploy I was talking about was trying to slide into private messages, rather than having a discussion in the thread.
I don't doubt you're a firefighter."
I just thought people wouldn't want the notifications for something to make my personal profile better. Wasn't a ploy at all. Sorry i gave that impression |
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By *ornycougaWoman 24 minutes ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"Please pm me with suggestions to take my profile up a level or two lol
That's up for you to figure out.
Also I have no idea why that's something that needs a PM.
Blunt but absolutely spot on.
A simple suggestion. Why not take the time to look at the profiles of the successful guys on here.
Look at what they are doing and you aren't. You will find they are doing a LOT more.
"
Or search the forums for the eleven trillion other threads on this topic |
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"Maybe i confused about when people are saying they can see through my post
The ploy I was talking about was trying to slide into private messages, rather than having a discussion in the thread.
I don't doubt you're a firefighter.
I just thought people wouldn't want the notifications for something to make my personal profile better. Wasn't a ploy at all. Sorry i gave that impression "
Fair enough.
Men sometimes use threads like this as an excuse to talk privately.
Everyone who's posted in this thread will see the thread in their recent posts until it ends. There's nothing that can be done about that, so don't worry about it |
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"I’m going to go against the grain on the replies of this thread, OP, and your photos actually look ok…. Bio could use some work though
There are many factors at play when contacting someone and expecting a reply. People have to be interested, attracted, and having the time and space to reply. Many messages slip through the hundreds of messages net.
It can be quite disheartening as a single guy I guess.
"
The nicest, and most honest reply on this thread x |
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Fab is a brutal place for pretty much every guy on here.
Embrace the fact that you’ll only find a very VERY small percentage of people willing to meet you, and they’ll take a lot of finding.
We don’t know you, so write a profile that best reflects you. Use it as a shop window, dress it up nice and it may entice. |
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