FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When is an adult age gap creepy
When is an adult age gap creepy
Jump to: Newest in thread
I think creepy is too strong for any legal and consensual relationship/liason. I do think that large age gaps are more prone to questionable power dynamics. The men my age who go for much younger women are often not the most admirable sort of person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
18 is too young for any developed adult but clearly the men in the chat who think it isn't are predatory. 18 may legally be an adult but mentally and biologically they are still late adolescent. The prefrontal cortex does not develop until 25. So rational cognitive function is not yet developed even in later teens.
If you are a 60 year old man dating an 18 year old, no matter how you justify it. Your are with them because you can control or manipulate them in a way you couldn't with a grown ass woman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree with most people here as long as it’s over 18 consenting adults age difference shouldn’t matter and doesn’t to me though it’s usually other people who find it creepy….I’ve had an age gap of nearly 50 years when I was 20 and it was amazing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down "
With things like that I think "sugar daddy" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down
With things like that I think "sugar daddy" "
Yes.. I thought the same |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
So if a younger female is with a much older man she's either being taken advantage of or she's fleecing him for cash? That's quote a jaded way of looking at things.
As someone who has dated much older and younger it has always been about the individual and our mutual enjoyment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When there’s a motive from the older party to prey on a vulnerable young adult.
Or
When there’s a motive from a younger developed adult to prey on an elderly person
"
My comment was not in response to yours BTW - it was based on the thread in general. Didn't see yours until I.posted mine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So if a younger female is with a much older man she's either being taken advantage of or she's fleecing him for cash? That's quote a jaded way of looking at things.
As someone who has dated much older and younger it has always been about the individual and our mutual enjoyment. "
Sadly it is usually the case these days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down "
Shot down? 19 and 70?! Anyone who thought that wasn’t odd I’d find odd! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *end1Man 7 days ago
southend on sea |
"So if a younger female is with a much older man she's either being taken advantage of or she's fleecing him for cash? That's quote a jaded way of looking at things.
As someone who has dated much older and younger it has always been about the individual and our mutual enjoyment. "
couldn't of put it any better myself 👍 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down
Shot down? 19 and 70?! Anyone who thought that wasn’t odd I’d find odd!"
Billy Bob Thornton is 69 and totally hot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down
Shot down? 19 and 70?! Anyone who thought that wasn’t odd I’d find odd!"
There'll be someone Nora, there always is  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oobaaMan 7 days ago
South Shields |
I was 48 and got into a relationship with a 25 yr old.
We had a child 2 years later and were together for just over 4 years.
Various things forced us apart but we are still civil and meet as a family once a month for a day out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't know I find it uncomfortable and and can often be exploitative when the gap is too large. Not sure what a 50 year old wants from a 20 year old to be honest (apart from the obvious) in a relationship.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I feel like I'm a bit of a hypocrite in this regard because I regularly find the age gap between myself and an older woman quite hot but think it would be creepy if I was the older man in that scenario. I do think it depends on the ages too. I'll find a 20 year old and 40 year old creepy but wouldn't bat an eye at 30 and 50. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My then 70 year old next door neighbour often had a then 19 year old girl stay at his house. Judging by the noises through the bedroom window, they were definitely intimate. I found that.. let's just say odd.. before I get shot down
Shot down? 19 and 70?! Anyone who thought that wasn’t odd I’d find odd!
There'll be someone Nora, there always is "
Oh yeah 🤣. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If they’re a teenager then I don’t really think anyone over the age of 21 should be getting wi to them. That’s my personal feelings.
But 21+ I think you can get with whoever you love. "
I agree with this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So if a younger female is with a much older man she's either being taken advantage of or she's fleecing him for cash? That's quote a jaded way of looking at things.
"
Those are the default responses. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd  "
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship?"
No because neither of you were still in your teens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship?
No because neither of you were still in your teens "
Ok just to play devils advocate, lets say a 19 year old girl plays with a 57 year old guy in a club… is that creepy?
Or is it creepy if they’re in a relationship? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship?"
That’s not even comparable to 19 and 70 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship?
No because neither of you were still in your teens
Ok just to play devils advocate, lets say a 19 year old girl plays with a 57 year old guy in a club… is that creepy?
Or is it creepy if they’re in a relationship?"
Think creepy is the wrong word tbf....I wouldn't think it was creepy,, I'd just think the elder was a perv |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All to do with the individual, I bat for the it doesn't matter once everyone is over 18, however I wouldn't dream of dating a lady that young."
I think along these lines. I could (if it ever happens) fuck an 18-25 year old and not think twice.
I could only date a 25+ woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All to do with the individual, I bat for the it doesn't matter once everyone is over 18, however I wouldn't dream of dating a lady that young.
I think along these lines. I could (if it ever happens) fuck an 18-25 year old and not think twice.
I could only date a 25+ woman"
If they are good enough for a "fuck" ....why not good enough to date?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All to do with the individual, I bat for the it doesn't matter once everyone is over 18, however I wouldn't dream of dating a lady that young.
I think along these lines. I could (if it ever happens) fuck an 18-25 year old and not think twice.
I could only date a 25+ woman
If they are good enough for a "fuck" ....why not good enough to date??"
Because sex doesn’t necessarily need an emotional long term commitment. I don’t feel a 18 year old and I would be in the same place for the long term, and even if she said she was I’d feel guilty for robbing her of things young people do.
As a sidenote I had a friend at uni who was 19 dating a 42 year old woman. We talk about it now 20 years on, and although he said he’s grateful for the memories, he was too young to settle down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To answer the whingers messaging me, yes, I'd also find a 19 year old boy and 70 year old woman odd
Ok, so I’m 39 and recently had a play with a 63 year old in a club. Would that be creepy?
Because to me it’s consensual, she had beautiful eyes and it was hot how much she wanted me.
Or is it different if a play and if a relationship?
No because neither of you were still in your teens
Ok just to play devils advocate, lets say a 19 year old girl plays with a 57 year old guy in a club… is that creepy?
Or is it creepy if they’re in a relationship?"
Both, she's a teen 🤷♀️ yes it's consensual and legal but I still find it odd |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *batMan 7 days ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"I’d find an 18 year old and someone over 60 very odd and creepy. It’s legal I know but still weird to me. "
I'd be surprised if such a relationship worked, but if it does, good luck to them.
Just being the Devil's advocate, is 18 and 59 creepy?
What about 58?
57?
56?
You can fill the rest in.
For me, it's about the people, not their ages, but as I said, I'd be surprised if a 42 year gap actually worked.
Gbat |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’d find an 18 year old and someone over 60 very odd and creepy. It’s legal I know but still weird to me.
I'd be surprised if such a relationship worked, but if it does, good luck to them.
Just being the Devil's advocate, is 18 and 59 creepy?
What about 58?
57?
56?
You can fill the rest in.
For me, it's about the people, not their ages, but as I said, I'd be surprised if a 42 year gap actually worked.
Gbat"
Yes. It is. I’m 54 and the thought of me or anyone my age with an 18 year old makes me feel sick to be honest. I accept not everyone will agree but the op asked  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it depends on their respective actual ages...a 40 year old and a 60 year old doesn't seem as wide as gap as a year old and a 40 year old "
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been out this evening to meet a “friend”.
He’s 30, I’m 55. That gap doesn’t seem quite as large as it did when we first met when he was 21 and I was 46 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *end1Man 7 days ago
southend on sea |
I met a 27 year old woman who was also 7 months pregnant on fab last year. Also have a daughter with a ex who's 20+ years younger than me. Plus a couple of fwb in the past where there's been a big age gap. All over the age of consent don't see the big deal age is a number. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it depends on their respective actual ages...a 40 year old and a 60 year old doesn't seem as wide as gap as a year old and a 40 year old
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been out this evening to meet a “friend”.
He’s 30, I’m 55. That gap doesn’t seem quite as large as it did when we first met when he was 21 and I was 46"
I'm 34, meet me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If they’re a teenager then I don’t really think anyone over the age of 21 should be getting wi to them. That’s my personal feelings.
But 21+ I think you can get with whoever you love. "
I absolutely agree |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it depends on their respective actual ages...a 40 year old and a 60 year old doesn't seem as wide as gap as a year old and a 40 year old
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been out this evening to meet a “friend”.
He’s 30, I’m 55. That gap doesn’t seem quite as large as it did when we first met when he was 21 and I was 46
I'm 34, meet me!"
You’re too old for me Clamdaddy. 🙈 fucking hell did I really just call you that. Please change it soon 😩 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *end1Man 7 days ago
southend on sea |
"I think it depends on their respective actual ages...a 40 year old and a 60 year old doesn't seem as wide as gap as a year old and a 40 year old
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been out this evening to meet a “friend”.
He’s 30, I’m 55. That gap doesn’t seem quite as large as it did when we first met when he was 21 and I was 46
I'm 34, meet me!
You’re too old for me Clamdaddy. 🙈 fucking hell did I really just call you that. Please change it soon 😩"
I may be wrong but I'm guessing your not meeting 😂😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it depends on their respective actual ages...a 40 year old and a 60 year old doesn't seem as wide as gap as a year old and a 40 year old
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been out this evening to meet a “friend”.
He’s 30, I’m 55. That gap doesn’t seem quite as large as it did when we first met when he was 21 and I was 46
I'm 34, meet me!
You’re too old for me Clamdaddy. 🙈 fucking hell did I really just call you that. Please change it soon 😩 I may be wrong but I'm guessing your not meeting 😂😂"
I’m not. I just revisit old friends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There’s 10 years between me and my partner and age doesn’t bother me or us, but we find older couples are cautious about meeting us at first x"
How come they're cautious? I mean it isn't like you both have a massive age gap difference |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There’s 10 years between me and my partner and age doesn’t bother me or us, but we find older couples are cautious about meeting us at first x
How come they're cautious? I mean it isn't like you both have a massive age gap difference "
We’ve been with ages 50+ and sometimes they set profiles to ages 30+ which he qualifies for but I don’t, it’s more I’m below the limit for some but once they meet us they realise I appear older mentally so it’s not a problem lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There’s 10 years between me and my partner and age doesn’t bother me or us, but we find older couples are cautious about meeting us at first x
How come they're cautious? I mean it isn't like you both have a massive age gap difference
We’ve been with ages 50+ and sometimes they set profiles to ages 30+ which he qualifies for but I don’t, it’s more I’m below the limit for some but once they meet us they realise I appear older mentally so it’s not a problem lol x"
Ah fair enough. You can't please everyone I suppose haha x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"18 is too young for any developed adult but clearly the men in the chat who think it isn't are predatory. 18 may legally be an adult but mentally and biologically they are still late adolescent. The prefrontal cortex does not develop until 25. So rational cognitive function is not yet developed even in later teens.
If you are a 60 year old man dating an 18 year old, no matter how you justify it. Your are with them because you can control or manipulate them in a way you couldn't with a grown ass woman. "
Yeah, older men with young adult women often seem to be exercising a power that they couldn't with someone their own age. Likewise, they may seem mature to someone young but like a loser to someone their own age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *0sfunMan 7 days ago
cannock |
It is a difficult one because maturity of the person comes in to it too. I definitely find the 18 with 50 an odd situation but we all find different things attractive now it’s not something I’d be keen on with such a gap but as some of you’ve stated that gap at different ages doesn’t make such a difference, purely for the fact that at 18 your not really life hardened or I guess mentally in that place |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If they both over age of consent and enjoying themselves and not doing any harm then it is there choice and people should just accept or mind their own business.
Charlie Chaplin was 73 when he last fathered a kid and Des O'Connor was 72 so clearly they was with a younger woman and in loving relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ister_EMan 6 days ago
Hayling Island |
I find that the power dynamics and discrepancies creep me out more than the actual ages. When someone is at risk of being taken advantage of it begins to make me uncomfortable.
That's more about the individual than the age though.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I find that the power dynamics and discrepancies creep me out more than the actual ages. When someone is at risk of being taken advantage of it begins to make me uncomfortable.
That's more about the individual than the age though...."
Agree as a guy or woman could be say 51 and 52, the behaviour of one of them could be creepy and yet age gap is only a year so being creepy is to do with personality and behaviour not age gap |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not so keen on the word creepy -my observations are that people find it uncomfortable if the other party is the same age, or younger than their own children.
I don't have children so only my mum to judge me... She would flip if I bought home a youngster or someone her age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
An adult age gap is creepy when it's creepy.
That's a flippant response but the only answer I can give. I've known several women in relationships with much older men, over 30 years in one case. There was nothing at all creepy, everyone was happy.
I know of one couple where the woman was 18 and the guy in his fifties. He behaved oddly and from the start was defensive and almost aggressive about their relationship before anyone even mentioned it. I got weird vibes from that.
As with every other relationship in the world it's down to the individuals within it rather than just their age. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So obviously post 18.
Or is it never creepy?!"
More maturity and power dynamics I think. There are vulnerable 50 year olds and a few mature 18 year olds. I think the later is rare though! In terms of age difference, for attraction and sex it makes little difference but I dont think an 18 year old with 50 year old makes for a lasting relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not sure we would meet a couple with a huge age gap. But if we did, if was an equitable relationship, we would probably be OK. Other posters have mentioned potential power dynamic issues in old/young pairings, but with one older couple we met who were pretty much the same age, it became clear during our meet that the man was exercising coercive control over the woman. Obviously, that was the end of that meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OK how is this for a hypothetical. A man in his late 30s or 40s. Babysits a girl of 13 (friends with girl's mother). By the time she is 19 they are in a sexual relationship. Creepy or not creepy?"
Definitely creepy because the 1st thing that springs to mind is "grooming" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just watched Olivia Atwoods new show and apparently the biggest number of search engines queries in porn are MILF, followed by GILf.
These terms have seen an over a 700% increase recently.
So there must be something in this age gap thing,
Mrs x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"18 is too young for any developed adult but clearly the men in the chat who think it isn't are predatory. 18 may legally be an adult but mentally and biologically they are still late adolescent. The prefrontal cortex does not develop until 25. So rational cognitive function is not yet developed even in later teens.
If you are a 60 year old man dating an 18 year old, no matter how you justify it. Your are with them because you can control or manipulate them in a way you couldn't with a grown ass woman. "
Your profile says you would like to meet women aged 18-60! At 42 is that acceptable as you’ve stated above “18 is too young for any developed adult but clearly the men in the chat who think it isn't are predatory” I may have misunderstood what you wrote though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just watched Olivia Atwoods new show and apparently the biggest number of search engines queries in porn are MILF, followed by GILf.
These terms have seen an over a 700% increase recently.
So there must be something in this age gap thing,
Mrs x"
I'm investing in GGILF porn shares, has to be the next trend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just watched Olivia Atwoods new show and apparently the biggest number of search engines queries in porn are MILF, followed by GILf.
These terms have seen an over a 700% increase recently.
So there must be something in this age gap thing,
Mrs x"
Or maybe it's just older blokes searching for a woman in their own age range. IMO a mature woman is likely to have a more interesting bod than one of the younger 'carbon copy' female porn stars. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don't read the qoran. The age gap in there will..."
The Talmud is no better. Can’t be more specific. I’ve already been on the naughty step for sharing the age I lost my virginity with an older woman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A 30 Yr old very good looking women going with a 80 year old man.
You see alot of it aswell. 
How many 80 year old billionaires live in Newcastle "
I didn't put billionaire.
Just 30 Yr old nice women going with an 80 Yr old man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The rule of “half your age plus 7” as the lowest you should go seems to work quite well"
Safe rule, never steered wrong of this! 👍🏼 It works for engaging people at similar stages of life, conversations and a magnitude of other things |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A 30 Yr old very good looking women going with a 80 year old man.
You see alot of it aswell.
How many 80 year old billionaires live in Newcastle
I didn't put billionaire.
Just 30 Yr old nice women going with an 80 Yr old man "
Yeah, just noticed somebody else sneaked that in.
But I'll ask, how many 30 year old women are knocking around with 80 year old men in Newcastle? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A 30 Yr old very good looking women going with a 80 year old man.
You see alot of it aswell.
How many 80 year old billionaires live in Newcastle
I didn't put billionaire.
Just 30 Yr old nice women going with an 80 Yr old man
Yeah, just noticed somebody else sneaked that in.
But I'll ask, how many 30 year old women are knocking around with 80 year old men in Newcastle?"
Not in Newcastle but on here I have.
Of course you see 30 yr old women with 50 yr old men quite alot.
On here you get really big age gaps, but everyone have different preferences. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A 30 Yr old very good looking women going with a 80 year old man.
You see alot of it aswell.
How many 80 year old billionaires live in Newcastle
I didn't put billionaire.
Just 30 Yr old nice women going with an 80 Yr old man
Yeah, just noticed somebody else sneaked that in.
But I'll ask, how many 30 year old women are knocking around with 80 year old men in Newcastle?"
You can still get a good Toon out of an old piano. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Without the involvement of money, would there be a gap?"
Probably not...some of these young ones (men and women) would rather rely on much older ones to spend money on them so they don't need to get off their arses. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Without the involvement of money, would there be a gap?
Probably not...some of these young ones (men and women) would rather rely on much older ones to spend money on them so they don't need to get off their arses."
Without the money it might have to be a kink or fetish. Reversing the roles can help show the logic. Imagine a rich young woman in to older guys with no money. What would those motives be? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This thread made me remember the time a car tipped over outside my house so we rush out and get a young girl out and an old bloke she looked about 18 and he looked 70 plus, they were both Ok my wife new who the girl was and she aske the girl, is this your grandad the girl replies no he is my boyfriend, I very nearly wet myself laughing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I couldn't care less about age gaps but I do question why a person chooses to meet a man of 45 but not 46.
Then why not 47? Then 48 too? "
I see you have an age thing set up but at least people can still message you, that way although you prefer under 45, you can see if at 46 they tick all your boxes.
But there are many others who block people messaging who are outside of their age range. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
+ Harry Styles.
Creepy or healthy?
If I remember rightly wasn't he under 18 when they started dating she was in her 30's.
