If it's a single M messaging and we don't have a meet up then they've ignored our profile, so we ignore their message. If we do have a meet up then we'll look at their profile - if they're not what we're looking for, we'll move on.
If it's a F or a couple then, again, we look at their profile to see if they're what we're looking for before opening any message. |
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For me personally your first message has to be original, a bit quirky and funny… I’m only currently talking to two men on fab and both hit me up with messages that grabbed my attention.
Messages like “want some fun” or “do you like it in the ass” etc don’t even get read |
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Most will probably stand out (hopefully favourably) by attending socials or group events. Others rely on having a more accessible/appealing profile because some women will look at a profile before they open/read a message. If the profile gives them flutters (at best) or a whiplashed-smile (at worst) then they may even do something outlandish such as reply. |
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General comments:
Good profile text explaining who you are, what you're looking for, and why you think you're different.
A variety of pictures that are not just someone's genitals, that show personality.
A message that shows that you've read the profile (not *says* you have - lots of people lie) and respect what the person is looking for. Polite but not deferential. |
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Eye catching picture
decent profile name.
Inviting/ interesting opening sentence in message
Good photos on their profile, up to date veris, if they are verified. Profile text aligns to our mutual interests and makes me think we would be well matched
A search of the forums and green tick to see if they are an interesting, empathetic / kind / funny poster |
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As for your thread title on how to stand out, we want to be able to see who we're talking to. Doesn't necessarily mean face pics, but anyone who only has dick pics on their profile is an instant turn off for us |
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I've seen other people say they just click on the profile but to me that is so much effort. If I'm not interested from the preview of the message I delete it.
I mostly delete 'hey' 'how are you' 'what you doing' 'you look hot' or messages that say I'm Bob, 39, looking for XYZ that they've sent to me and every other woman in a 100 mile radius. |
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"I've seen other people say they just click on the profile but to me that is so much effort. If I'm not interested from the preview of the message I delete it.
I mostly delete 'hey' 'how are you' 'what you doing' 'you look hot' or messages that say I'm Bob, 39, looking for XYZ that they've sent to me and every other woman in a 100 mile radius."
Yup. If what I can see in the inbox preview looks like the same as 90% of the other messages, I'm not even opening the message, let alone looking at the profile. |
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We have messages from single guys turned off but we both read the forums and single guys that come across well we check out there profile. This works for us we’ve messaged a few single guys and have a meet with a real nice guy next week typically I’ll message first (mr) then see how it goes . The guy we’re meeting had a video chat with us both within a few hours of us messaging him that wouldn’t normally happen but we both liked his attitude from the start |
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"For me personally your first message has to be original, a bit quirky and funny… I’m only currently talking to two men on fab and both hit me up with messages that grabbed my attention.
Messages like “want some fun” or “do you like it in the ass” etc don’t even get read "
yup...im completely the same way...I like something funny,even silly...  |
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By (user no longer on site) 1 week ago
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Nobody has that many messages, if they do they are choosing too by not using filters. I read all my messages and if I don't respond, they aren't for me it's as simple as that really. Just delete your sent messages and whoever comes back to you will be interested. |
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"Ive seen a few women and couples profile's saying they are on 3000+ messages ..
How do people decide who gets read"
I don't know what you send as an actual message however my first thing would be...
Have you attached a face pic (as my profile politely asks for one)
I will click on your profile before I even look at the message, check your photos/blurb/interests and see what we could have in common
If the message is interesting I will reply even if it's no thanks
If it's a one/two word one and or you clearly don't have anything in common/haven't read my profile then it'll get deleted no reply
What I would like is something to support you read what I want ,so a line or comment about something I've said/an interest I've listed
A face pic so I know who I'm maybe talking with
Your profile needs to think I'm grasping what you want/offer and what I'd get out of it
At the end of the day your profile is your shop window and as a single guy you are outnumbered so you have to put the effort in
I get repeat messages and each time it's one word/shadow/no pics/ non attached... Each time I delete
The guy doesn't change his tactics doesn't consider why I'm ignoring him..
A lot on here need to take their brain out of their balls and put it back in their skull .
Common sense about communication will go a long way.
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I just saw a man local to me post a great picture and went to 'fab' it ... but he turned off the ability for anyone to fab it. The way that I gasped! I'm so tempted now to message him to tell him that's a great picture.
Might be worth considering for other men? idk |
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I do not get much interest. Couple weeks back. Did a profile update. Shortened version. Added a few more photos. Then did searches of profile type I am looking at. Some just looked. Others sent wink and a few messages. Plus put status about updated profile. As I put on another thread in past few days have had for me lot of interest. Profile looked at, winks and messages. Yes not arranged any meets yet. But at least messaging and getting responses. Had a couple winks and messages from profiles who I had looked at and not done anything as say out of age range, and saying not looking for single males. Must be doing something right. But I am not sure what I have done to make happen ? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 7 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
On the couples profile we don't get masses of messages because we have filters set tight
For those that do come in? If we can see it just says 'Hey', 'Hi' or any other obvious lack of effort it gets deleted.
Likewise any cringe usernames or cock profile pics.
They won't even get considered. For the rest we view the profile before opening a message. Nothing of interest or any easily spotted red flags and they're destined for the bin and blocked to prevent a follow up message.
We don't reply that much. Few put in enough effort to spark interest. |
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"Eye catching picture
decent profile name.
Inviting/ interesting opening sentence in message
Good photos on their profile, up to date veris, if they are verified. Profile text aligns to our mutual interests and makes me think we would be well matched
A search of the forums and green tick to see if they are an interesting, empathetic / kind / funny poster"
Damn...fell at the final hurdle 🥪 |
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