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Can a married person speak to others?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I read an interesting article about if it is ok for a married person to speak with others and it mentioned interesting things like how it depends what they are talking about.
The things that are ok to talk about is general conversations like work, weather or something along those lines, general topics like, you know if it is a conversation that they would have in front of their partner.
It concluded by saying what wasnt ok to chat about and do, that was more to do with flirting, that was a big no and one should stay clear of that to all costs, because flirting can be considered cheating.
What is your view about it, is it ok to talk to others, are you married and how do you deal with it if your partner talks with others, do you get jealous easily?
I agree with the points and I wold also like to add that this seems to be more of a traditional thing that a partner shouldnt speak to others, nowadays i think it is more acceptably to speak with others too  |
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Having outside perspectives is healthy and normal.
You should talk to your friends about your relationships. It's too easy to fall into patterns and tolerate less than what you should have from a relationship without that.
I flirt with everything. Doesn't mean there's intent or that I'm going to cheat on my partners.
Isolating your partners isn't cool or healthy 💜 |
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Every relationship is different.
For me, this is craziness. We both encourage each other to have independent lives / friends and lovers. It all hinges on communication and knowing the other person.
I would never try to stop someone doing anything that they might enjoy, but that's just me! |
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Sounds like nonsense to me shag, when you’re married, you should be able to trust each other and also have a clear understanding of where the line is with regards to disrespecting each other be that by your actions or words with others. Each partner should have friends they could talk to about practically anything but I would be disrespecting my partner and possibly inviting trouble if I start describing the kind of sex we have and moaning it is not fulfilling with a young woman at work.
I know some people have this rule where if they see a friend’s wife in the daytime struggling with shopping out of the supermarket they would not offer her a lift home. I get where they are coming from but I also think it’s hypothetical like if somebody needs a ride home, they will have a driver or get an Uber, I would simply ask her where is your Driver? Do you need me to call him….. |
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I see where you are coming from Shag. For many emotionally cheating is worse than physically cheating, there's tons of workplace affairs that emotionally cheat, but not physically. The term work wife/husband springs to mind. I guess the thought of a partner discussing 'married life' thoughts with others, is disconcerting for many vanilla relationships. Some hothusbands/hotwife relationships have discussion boundaries for safety purposes.
After waffling, I guess if it works for your relationship, then its no-one elses business what boundaries are in place in your relationship |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Having outside perspectives is healthy and normal.
You should talk to your friends about your relationships. It's too easy to fall into patterns and tolerate less than what you should have from a relationship without that.
I flirt with everything. Doesn't mean there's intent or that I'm going to cheat on my partners.
Isolating your partners isn't cool or healthy 💜"
Hi _reytothefairies, yes, you are right there, having outside perspectives is healthy and normal too, yes, flirting doesnt mean you cheat on the partner |
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I think it's okay to chat about anything to anyone but the difference is I also tell my partner and she tells me.
In this community it's definitely important to have open communication with your partner and set boundaries your both happy with. |
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I've been married twice and have had 2 different views on this topic.
At 17 I was with a much older guy and every woman he spoke to was a threat. He clearly wasn't going to stay with me if could have someone else. So my insecurities couldn't cope with him talking to other people at all so any conversations that could be seen outside the norm never went down well. I didn't trust our relationship was strong enough. He was a very sociable man so you imagine how that went.
My second marriage is so far removed from that dynamic I don't even recognise that person any more.
I expect him to have those conversations, actually encourage them because they are healthy. He can talk to his friends about anything he wants, male or female. I'm happy to see him flirting because that means he's happy and comfortable with who he is (not always been the way) and unsurprisingly with the lifestyle we lead if it leads to something physical that's great, but it's never really part of it.
I also get to be me, I can be my natural self around people without worrying about the effect it has on him.
Of course there are always boundaries that can't be crossed but they're personal to each couple.
For me it's about trust and knowing each other. But it's also about knowing yourself and what you can cope with. Communication then makes or breaks
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Every relationship is different.
For me, this is craziness. We both encourage each other to have independent lives / friends and lovers. It all hinges on communication and knowing the other person.
I would never try to stop someone doing anything that they might enjoy, but that's just me!"
Yes, every relationship is different, that is good how you encourage eachother to have independent lives too  |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I see where you are coming from Shag. For many emotionally cheating is worse than physically cheating, there's tons of workplace affairs that emotionally cheat, but not physically. The term work wife/husband springs to mind. I guess the thought of a partner discussing 'married life' thoughts with others, is disconcerting for many vanilla relationships. Some hothusbands/hotwife relationships have discussion boundaries for safety purposes.
After waffling, I guess if it works for your relationship, then its no-one elses business what boundaries are in place in your relationship "
Hi briar, yes, you are right there about how emotionally cheating is worse than physically cheating, yes, it depends on the relationship if it works too |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Sounds like nonsense to me shag, when you’re married, you should be able to trust each other and also have a clear understanding of where the line is with regards to disrespecting each other be that by your actions or words with others. Each partner should have friends they could talk to about practically anything but I would be disrespecting my partner and possibly inviting trouble if I start describing the kind of sex we have and moaning it is not fulfilling with a young woman at work.
I know some people have this rule where if they see a friend’s wife in the daytime struggling with shopping out of the supermarket they would not offer her a lift home. I get where they are coming from but I also think it’s hypothetical like if somebody needs a ride home, they will have a driver or get an Uber, I would simply ask her where is your Driver? Do you need me to call him….."
Yes, you should beable to trust each other, yes, some couples have this rule too |
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"Sounds more like controlling behaviour. I wouldn't dream of telling a partner who they could talk to or how, even if I was monogamous, which I was for 10+ years. "
I agree. I’ve never been in a relationship where anyone controls who the other speaks to! Nor would I ever be. |
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It's ok to talk to others if you're married/attached, as long as you're not doing anything behind their back or anything that would hurt them, if its on a site like this.
I'm half a couple, my partner doesn't really use fab that much now, but I'll always tell him if I've been chatting to someone if it's developing into anything. |
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By *ony MannMan 2 weeks ago
Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Andover |
It depends what your relationship is. My current partner and I talk about everything and talk to others about our sex. We tell each other about other partners, sometimes as we have sex.
My last, we went to clubs and had fun. I knew she was fucking others without me, but she denied it. I never pushed the point because I was happy she was having fun.
A long-term partner , we both knew we were playing away, but it was a silent agreement.
Don't break a trust you have with your partner, agree your boundaries. |
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"If you're in a healthy marriage, it doesn't matter who they talk to and what they talk about, they know where their home is."
Exactly this. Been with my wife for 28 years (and yes we have a couples account).
She thinks something is wrong if im not flirting with other women.
Theres no secrets and we are quite secure and happy in our relationship.
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To the one or 2 female friends I have known for ages..I'll try to speak to them with their husband at the same time.
Make it a group call. That's the best way to communicate in that situation I find. |
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I wouldn't be okay with the flirting.
And I actually don't think flirting would be fair on the person being flirted with.
Are they automatically to know the flirting is without intent?
That way lies mixed messages |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"The important thing to remember when you marry is that you are both individuals. Why would you expect your partner to be different because you're married?
"
Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, both are individuals, yes, they problably would be the same when married too |
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There's always a balance between sharing a partner's intimate information and being able to talk about your own experiences in relationships.
It is going to vary as some people are more private than others, which can be as much a compatibility issue as anything else.
Flirting etc, same principle applies really different people have different feelings and boundaries. |
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"Having outside perspectives is healthy and normal.
You should talk to your friends about your relationships. It's too easy to fall into patterns and tolerate less than what you should have from a relationship without that.
I flirt with everything. Doesn't mean there's intent or that I'm going to cheat on my partners.
Isolating your partners isn't cool or healthy 💜"
Absolutely this, though I rarely flirt.
A healthy relationship allows both parties to have friends and conversations with others.
My husband often goes out with ladies from work for a curry. To the point where their regular restaurant won't believe one of them isn't his partner |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I wouldn't be okay with the flirting.
And I actually don't think flirting would be fair on the person being flirted with.
Are they automatically to know the flirting is without intent?
That way lies mixed messages "
Hi wellinever, yes, same here. I also think that flirting isnt fair on that person being flirted with too |
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"To the one or 2 female friends I have known for ages..I'll try to speak to them with their husband at the same time.
Make it a group call. That's the best way to communicate in that situation I find."
Assuming these are platonic friends, why on earth would you need to only speak to them with their husbands at the same time?
I can kinda understand it if they are female swinging friends with whom you are having sex. Then their dynamic might be to have communication only happen with both parties involved. |
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To be fair I guess most of those asked would also say it's wrong for married people to have sex with other people.
However as much as i love watching Mr fuck another lady.. if he was having flirty dirty chats with another lady I'd not be happy
.. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It's ok to talk to others if you're married/attached, as long as you're not doing anything behind their back or anything that would hurt them, if its on a site like this.
I'm half a couple, my partner doesn't really use fab that much now, but I'll always tell him if I've been chatting to someone if it's developing into anything. "
Hi _issmorgan, yes, you are right there, as long as one doesnt do anything behind their back, that is also good you tell your partner who you have been chatting to as well |
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"It's ok to talk to others if you're married/attached, as long as you're not doing anything behind their back or anything that would hurt them, if its on a site like this.
I'm half a couple, my partner doesn't really use fab that much now, but I'll always tell him if I've been chatting to someone if it's developing into anything. Hi _issmorgan, yes, you are right there, as long as one doesnt do anything behind their back, that is also good you tell your partner who you have been chatting to as well "
we are totally honest with each other.. but neither has flirty conversations with others. X |
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"To the one or 2 female friends I have known for ages..I'll try to speak to them with their husband at the same time.
Make it a group call. That's the best way to communicate in that situation I find.
Assuming these are platonic friends, why on earth would you need to only speak to them with their husbands at the same time?
I can kinda understand it if they are female swinging friends with whom you are having sex. Then their dynamic might be to have communication only happen with both parties involved. "
Can create insecurity on their husbands part (in my experience) |
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"I read an interesting article about if it is ok for a married person to speak with others and it mentioned interesting things like how it depends what they are talking about.
The things that are ok to talk about is general conversations like work, weather or something along those lines, general topics like, you know if it is a conversation that they would have in front of their partner.
It concluded by saying what wasnt ok to chat about and do, that was more to do with flirting, that was a big no and one should stay clear of that to all costs, because flirting can be considered cheating.
What is your view about it, is it ok to talk to others, are you married and how do you deal with it if your partner talks with others, do you get jealous easily?
I agree with the points and I wold also like to add that this seems to be more of a traditional thing that a partner shouldnt speak to others, nowadays i think it is more acceptably to speak with others too "
This sounds mental and suffocating. I'm not monogamous, but even still I would encourage any partner to speak to others outside the relationship and have other friends. I also don't class flirting as cheating. |
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By *zChiefWoman 2 weeks ago
middle of somewhere |
I have no issues .
Our relationship is long standing
Based on trust .
I am not going to control who he can speak to.
We are open..communication is key
If he wants to flirt crack on
If he wants more crack on
As long as no cloak n dagger secrecy is involved .
Life is short . |
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From my experience, I was previously in a controlling relationship, to the extent that any conversation with a male was flirtatious.
Scroll forward. Mr. FC and I have communication. We discuss. Neither one of us is jealous, because we have talked about our expectations and wants. And we adhere to that. We continue to talk and discuss and adapt, if necessary.
My thoughts on this are that every couple is different, and what is acceptable to them is for them to decide, mutually.
If it's not mutual.......
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By *arl17Man 2 weeks ago
Central Portugal |
"Every relationship is different.
For me, this is craziness. We both encourage each other to have independent lives / friends and lovers. It all hinges on communication and knowing the other person.
I would never try to stop someone doing anything that they might enjoy, but that's just me!"
|
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"To the one or 2 female friends I have known for ages..I'll try to speak to them with their husband at the same time.
Make it a group call. That's the best way to communicate in that situation I find.
Assuming these are platonic friends, why on earth would you need to only speak to them with their husbands at the same time?
I can kinda understand it if they are female swinging friends with whom you are having sex. Then their dynamic might be to have communication only happen with both parties involved.
Can create insecurity on their husbands part (in my experience)"
Again, are we referring to platonic friends here? If so, any husband who becomes insecure if his wife speaks to a platonic male friend is a ginormous red flag. The size of a clipper ship sail.
I thank my lucky stars that I'm not married to an insecure patriarch  |
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"To the one or 2 female friends I have known for ages..I'll try to speak to them with their husband at the same time.
Make it a group call. That's the best way to communicate in that situation I find.
Assuming these are platonic friends, why on earth would you need to only speak to them with their husbands at the same time?
I can kinda understand it if they are female swinging friends with whom you are having sex. Then their dynamic might be to have communication only happen with both parties involved.
Can create insecurity on their husbands part (in my experience)
Again, are we referring to platonic friends here? If so, any husband who becomes insecure if his wife speaks to a platonic male friend is a ginormous red flag. The size of a clipper ship sail.
I thank my lucky stars that I'm not married to an insecure patriarch "
Yes platonic.
& Yes I agree..you should be free.
(Perhaps it's me..) |
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"If you're in a healthy marriage, it doesn't matter who they talk to and what they talk about, they know where their home is."
We have a very good and healthy relationship but I would not be happy if Mr was having filthy flirty chats with other ladies etc. X or talking about stuff that is intimate. |
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"I have no issues .
Our relationship is long standing
Based on trust .
I am not going to control who he can speak to.
We are open..communication is key
If he wants to flirt crack on
If he wants more crack on
As long as no cloak n dagger secrecy is involved .
Life is short . "
 |
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Like other's have said it would totally depend on the kind of conversations. Friendly every day stuff is totally fine.
If it was secret chats flirty and more intimate i would have to start asking myself why my husband can't have those conversations with me. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 2 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It's ok to talk to others if you're married/attached, as long as you're not doing anything behind their back or anything that would hurt them, if its on a site like this.
I'm half a couple, my partner doesn't really use fab that much now, but I'll always tell him if I've been chatting to someone if it's developing into anything. Hi _issmorgan, yes, you are right there, as long as one doesnt do anything behind their back, that is also good you tell your partner who you have been chatting to as well we are totally honest with each other.. but neither has flirty conversations with others. X"
That is good you are totally honest with each other and dont have flirty conversations with others x |
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No two relationships are the same.
What works for some people doesn't work for others.
As long as all parties are clear where the lines are and agree then it's fine.
I am friends with a couple that enjoy swinging and happily swap and watch each other play, but they are on the rocks over some tasty work flirting messages one had engaged in behind the others back, it's all about trust and being honest with each other. |
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