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Do the people who get so upset about
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"I often don’t get reply’s, I just take as a sorry but not interest and move on. No on wants a in box full of No’s surely "
According to a lot of threads it seems some do want a box full of no's, surely that's even more soul destroying for them |
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"And that's just the women. The less said about the men the better. 🩶
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Have you had women get upset about it, honestly?"
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Yes. Thankfully it's not a common occurrence. Sometimes I feel like I need to invoke a Service Level Agreement (SLA) if I've failed to respond in a timely fashion. |
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"I often don’t get reply’s, I just take as a sorry but not interest and move on. No on wants a in box full of No’s surely
According to a lot of threads it seems some do want a box full of no's, surely that's even more soul destroying for them"
I would have it would be, some people get a lot of message as well so replying them all is a lot of work! |
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I'm sometimes prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria. (Yeah it's a phenomenon)
The overwhelming majority of the time (exceptions exist within what I regard as trusted relationships) I work it off in private. It's a problem, and it's a me problem |
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"I often don’t get reply’s, I just take as a sorry but not interest and move on. No on wants a in box full of No’s surely
According to a lot of threads it seems some do want a box full of no's, surely that's even more soul destroying for them
I would have it would be, some people get a lot of message as well so replying them all is a lot of work! "
Very true, kind of makes fab a chore instead of fun I imagine |
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"I'm sometimes prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria. (Yeah it's a phenomenon)
The overwhelming majority of the time (exceptions exist within what I regard as trusted relationships) I work it off in private. It's a problem, and it's a me problem"
I think a hell of a lot of people suffer from that on here. It must be horrible to feel that at times |
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"Hi Pablo, I fire and forget, after all it just a mess to "test the water". By sending and deleting, there's no tracking it's progress and stressing over whether it's been opened or read."
Yes me too. That's a good strategy |
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"I'm sometimes prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria. (Yeah it's a phenomenon)
The overwhelming majority of the time (exceptions exist within what I regard as trusted relationships) I work it off in private. It's a problem, and it's a me problem
I think a hell of a lot of people suffer from that on here. It must be horrible to feel that at times "
Yeah.
When I first joined I lived under a rock and had no idea of the gender divide. I told myself I'd give myself a month of hell and then leave. 🙈😅
It still happens occasionally, but... That's just one of the taxes that exist in my life. I won't pretend I don't say angry things or cry or whatever, but I do that shit in private because... me problem. |
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"I don’t send none 😎
Do you get sent many? And do they get upset if you don't reply?"
Yes I get a few ….
Not usually as i always reply to them …. Even if I’m not interested … it doesn’t hurt to send a reply and wish them a good day |
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"I often don’t get reply’s, I just take as a sorry but not interest and move on. No on wants a in box full of No’s surely "
I completely agree with this. But some guys do seem to want it, presumably as they take any interaction with a woman here to mean they have a chance, and will probably keep pushing for it |
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I don't send introductory messages and haven't done in 5 years.
I've had lots of conversations since when others contact me.
Most of them just fizzle out and neither of us gets upset if a message is read and not replied to.
The only time I've had abuse or annoyance over messages is when I've had ridiculously demanding introductions that give me detailed lists of what I must do to have any chance of fucking them or as one message said, to be added to their to-do list.
When I didn't reply or didn't respond positively they expressed their annoyance about how I was wasting their valuable time, I was an idiot and apparently it was my loss. |
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"Not receiving a reply let everything wind them up so much? I don't know how some get through the week without being a blubbery whiney mess.
You could reply and ask them? "
Ha ha I can live without knowing the answer, unless they want to tell me here |
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"Not receiving a reply let everything wind them up so much? I don't know how some get through the week without being a blubbery whiney mess."
I dont let it bother me I am not going to be everyone's cup of tea. No reply and move on |
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"I often don’t get reply’s, I just take as a sorry but not interest and move on. No on wants a in box full of No’s surely "
Exactly this! I never get those threads from men (and I've only ever seen them from men) demanding rejection is spelled out in black and white.
Hit send, delete your sent items and live peacefully.
Or be like me and hardly send any messages at all - true harmony. |
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Might just be me but I find a lot of folks, especially some of the younger folks, don’t know how to handle rejection or be emotionally/mentally mature enough to understand a polite “no, thank you”.
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"Might just be me but I find a lot of folks, especially some of the younger folks, don’t know how to handle rejection or be emotionally/mentally mature enough to understand a polite “no, thank you”.
"
I find it can be a mixture of ages that can't take rejection, not just the younger ones. It is pretty entitled though to expect a reply to a message that the receiver never asked for.
It's like the takeaway phoning up demanding to know why you haven't replied to the advert they sent you. |
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"Might just be me but I find a lot of folks, especially some of the younger folks, don’t know how to handle rejection or be emotionally/mentally mature enough to understand a polite “no, thank you”.
I find it can be a mixture of ages that can't take rejection, not just the younger ones. It is pretty entitled though to expect a reply to a message that the receiver never asked for.
It's like the takeaway phoning up demanding to know why you haven't replied to the advert they sent you."
True, as though you owe them your time! It’s a great way to filter them out though that’s for sure. |
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"Might just be me but I find a lot of folks, especially some of the younger folks, don’t know how to handle rejection or be emotionally/mentally mature enough to understand a polite “no, thank you”.
"
Ah, interesting. I tend to see more older guys complaining, especially if we're talking about not getting a reply. I'd assume younger people were more used to online 'etiquette', but I don't pay huge amounts of attention to those threads to be fair.
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"Might just be me but I find a lot of folks, especially some of the younger folks, don’t know how to handle rejection or be emotionally/mentally mature enough to understand a polite “no, thank you”.
Ah, interesting. I tend to see more older guys complaining, especially if we're talking about not getting a reply. I'd assume younger people were more used to online 'etiquette', but I don't pay huge amounts of attention to those threads to be fair.
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I think it’s quite a mix of age ranges to be honest thinking about it now.
I’ve had “fab straight” guys message me, usually they’re younger and when I say “no thanks”, I get abuse or called “boring”.  |
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"The trick to this site is never to message first 👍🏻
So you never messaged first, like ever ever?
Do you get many messages?"
i’ve had a few over the years yes, but i learned pretty early when i first joined this site that women and couple get overwhelmed with messages, and if they do want a single guy to join them, they’ll find you. |
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By *edSirenWoman 6 days ago
Leighton Buzzard |
Been on here only a few months and already had someone threaten me with they know where I’m from and they’ll find me etc because I didn’t reply after a very long day. Picked up my phone to find he’d blown it up with texts and calls. Then the threat.
I’m not sure what they hoped to achieve. It certainly didn’t intimidate me. In fact I welcome him to try and approach me after that remark. It won’t end well for him. |
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"Been on here only a few months and already had someone threaten me with they know where I’m from and they’ll find me etc because I didn’t reply after a very long day. Picked up my phone to find he’d blown it up with texts and calls. Then the threat.
I’m not sure what they hoped to achieve. It certainly didn’t intimidate me. In fact I welcome him to try and approach me after that remark. It won’t end well for him. "
And that's why ladies don't bother replying.....abuse. There's no need fellas  |
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"Been on here only a few months and already had someone threaten me with they know where I’m from and they’ll find me etc because I didn’t reply after a very long day. Picked up my phone to find he’d blown it up with texts and calls. Then the threat.
I’m not sure what they hoped to achieve. It certainly didn’t intimidate me. In fact I welcome him to try and approach me after that remark. It won’t end well for him.
And that's why ladies don't bother replying.....abuse. There's no need fellas "
#not all fellas!! |
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"Been on here only a few months and already had someone threaten me with they know where I’m from and they’ll find me etc because I didn’t reply after a very long day. Picked up my phone to find he’d blown it up with texts and calls. Then the threat.
I’m not sure what they hoped to achieve. It certainly didn’t intimidate me. In fact I welcome him to try and approach me after that remark. It won’t end well for him. "
Ridiculous |
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I don't get why guys and also woman get so upset because people don't reply straight away. People have lives and they can reply when they wish.
Yesterday, I got a load of abuse from a woman I was chatting too on here because I didn't reply in about 3 hours. I was busy dealing with family matters. It completely put me off. |
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"I don't get why guys and also woman get so upset because people don't reply straight away. People have lives and they can reply when they wish.
Yesterday, I got a load of abuse from a woman I was chatting too on here because I didn't reply in about 3 hours. I was busy dealing with family matters. It completely put me off. "
Jesus.. some people need to get a grip ! |
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I understand people getting frustrated early on in Fab because you'd expect that to be how dialogue works...
However, you soon learn that there are so many different types of user on Fab, those that do not have the time to answer everyone, those that are simply very specific about what they want and finally, those who have no interest in reading messages!
Best practice is to send a message and delete. If you get a response back nowadays, it's a promising sign! |
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"I don't get why guys and also woman get so upset because people don't reply straight away. People have lives and they can reply when they wish.
Yesterday, I got a load of abuse from a woman I was chatting too on here because I didn't reply in about 3 hours. I was busy dealing with family matters. It completely put me off. "
Wow, 3 hours. My standard response time is 3 working days. I make that very clear in the T&C's
😂 |
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This is why I keep my filters high and am on good terms with the block button.
The other day a shadow sent me a message, I deleted it, it says I won't reply to them on my profile. Anyway 5 mins later I got another one from same shadow moaning about me not replying and it being my loss-block.
It really wasn't my loss and if I'd been interested, I'd have replied to the first message. |
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By *edSirenWoman 6 days ago
Leighton Buzzard |
"I don't get why guys and also woman get so upset because people don't reply straight away. People have lives and they can reply when they wish.
Yesterday, I got a load of abuse from a woman I was chatting too on here because I didn't reply in about 3 hours. I was busy dealing with family matters. It completely put me off. "
Some people don’t understand boundaries. It’s not rude nor asshole behaviour to not reply. A person you have neither met nor built any rapport with doesn’t have right to demand consideration you wouldn’t even given to a close family member (ie you wouldn’t have your phone on you 24/7 just in case they messaged you).
I wonder if they put themselves in the same position IRL would they react the same way? Would they chase someone down the street for not smiling at them, saying hi or engaging in conversation? Would they consider name calling because you walked away from them, a stranger, appropriate? Keyboard warriors the lot of them. |
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"I don't get why guys and also woman get so upset because people don't reply straight away. People have lives and they can reply when they wish.
Yesterday, I got a load of abuse from a woman I was chatting too on here because I didn't reply in about 3 hours. I was busy dealing with family matters. It completely put me off.
Some people don’t understand boundaries. It’s not rude nor asshole behaviour to not reply. A person you have neither met nor built any rapport with doesn’t have right to demand consideration you wouldn’t even given to a close family member (ie you wouldn’t have your phone on you 24/7 just in case they messaged you).
I wonder if they put themselves in the same position IRL would they react the same way? Would they chase someone down the street for not smiling at them, saying hi or engaging in conversation? Would they consider name calling because you walked away from them, a stranger, appropriate? Keyboard warriors the lot of them."
Your second sentence is exactly what got me wondering in the first place |
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