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Body shaming

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By *ea monkey OP   Man 1 week ago

Manchester (he/him)

Is it ever ok?

Discuss

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 1 week ago

Carlisle usually

Uh.

If someone has a humiliation kink and specifically requests it?

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By *eroLondonMan 1 week ago

Mayfair

If I'm looking in the mirror 🪞 mocking myself, then yes. Otherwise nø.

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By *ongAndThick123Man 1 week ago

Leeds

Actual true body shaming is never ok, of course. It’s not a good thing to put others down.

BUT I’ll counter this by saying that not everything that’s classed as “body shaming” is actually shaming at all, and we should all be able to accept honest and caring criticism and feedback from those we love and care about.

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By *ora the explorerWoman 1 week ago

Paradise, Herts

Depends on context and how it’s said.

I’m really not attracted to fat ladies - not body shaming

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

A lot of body shaming and kink shaming accusations I see on here I don’t believe are shaming.

In my opinion of course

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By *riar BelisseWoman 1 week ago

Delightful Bliss


"Uh.

If someone has a humiliation kink and specifically requests it?"

This

Otherwise no. Who has the right to degrade anyone, about anything...

I wish more people would just think it, whilst keeping their gobs shut.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man 1 week ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Depends on context and how it’s said.

I’m really not attracted to fat ladies - not body shaming

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

A lot of body shaming and kink shaming accusations I see on here I don’t believe are shaming.

In my opinion of course "

I tend to agree (I hope you’re sitting down, Nora)

It’s often about the language used and the context in which it’s said. Adding value judgement and moral value to statements exacerbates that.

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By *sWyldWoman 1 week ago

Edinburgh

No. Never. Words can be incredibly damaging.

We all can have an opinion but we don't need to share it

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By *BWLOVER1965Man 1 week ago

Ipswich

What’s to discuss

Not acceptable

Ever

End

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan 1 week ago

belfast

Not acceptable at all. Ruins people's lives.

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By *ackformore100Man 1 week ago

Tin town


"Is it ever ok?

Discuss"

No

But I'm not convinced that everyone shares the same definition of body shaming. I've learned commenting on someones body is not always well received even if you think it's a compliment. Some people seem very body aware and sensitive about it.

But deliberately trying to cause someone else upset is pretty awful.

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By *929Man 1 week ago

bedlington

It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

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By *carlet SeductionWoman 1 week ago

Maidstone

I thought it was acceptable on the forum?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS 1 week ago

Central

It's atrocious and shouldn't be done, as well as people trying to cut as close as they can to the boundaries of lack of respect. We should comport ourselves, including our speech, with the highest regards to others' sensitivities.

If in doubt, say nothing.

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan 1 week ago

belfast


"It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

"

So you don't mind body shaming?

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By *929Man 1 week ago

bedlington


"It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

So you don't mind body shaming?"

I never actually said that did I

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

"

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

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By *eoBloomsMan 1 week ago

Springfield


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

"

Is that the Schrodinger's Fat Paradox ?

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By *ushym8Man 1 week ago

Bedfordshire

Nope never a need, if not for you politely say no thank and move on. (If they don’t take the hint block button rocks)

It takes a lot for people to show themselves and we all really tend to have a fragile ego. So be nice doesn’t take a lot

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 1 week ago

Carlisle usually


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

"

I'm not attracted to you Doris because I just don't find you attractive.

If someone asks why you don't find them attractive it's fair enough to give a reason I reckon. But leading with it unnecessarily can be hurtful and rude 💜

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By *ohnny3333Man 1 week ago

fleetwood

Very strange but i like being humiliated for some reason

I used to hide away due to my job but not anymore

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan 1 week ago

belfast


"It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

So you don't mind body shaming?

I never actually said that did I "

In a roundabout way you did though.

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan 1 week ago

belfast


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

"

That's body shaming and the guy being a wanker if he says that.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Is that the Schrodinger's Fat Paradox ?"

I don’t know, but I believe George Berkeley once possed the question-:

“ If Doris falls over in a forest and nobody is there to hear it, do they still feel the tremor in the next village?”

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

That's body shaming and the guy being a wanker if he says that. "

So when she asks it’s better to lie to her For me , personally, that would be far more insulting.

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By *929Man 1 week ago

bedlington


"It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

So you don't mind body shaming?

I never actually said that did I

In a roundabout way you did though. "

The start of the second paragraph of my post said there is no need for it but if you choose to interpret that as not minding it then please yourself

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 1 week ago

Carlisle usually


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

That's body shaming and the guy being a wanker if he says that. "

Giving an honest reason when pressed for it is being a wanker?

There's a big difference between an unsolicited Ew no fat chicks and an honest statement that you don't find someone's body type personally attractive when they ask to know why you don't want to fuck them.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

I'm not attracted to you Doris because I just don't find you attractive.

If someone asks why you don't find them attractive it's fair enough to give a reason I reckon. But leading with it unnecessarily can be hurtful and rude 💜"

Exactly, context is everything, simply the use of the descriptive word ‘fat’ is not the problem, it’s how you use it

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By *obilebottomMan 1 week ago

All over

Will never comment to anyone. Of course people may have preferences but can avoid those they don't find compatible whether fat, thin, tall, short or whatever else, in a manner that does not hurt anyone. If I was very close to someone and there was a health reason I would support them if they needed my support to address whatever the issue was but again in a way that did not made them feel uncomfortable.

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By *emorefridaCouple 1 week ago

La la land

Shaming anyone because of their apearance is never right. And when we think of body shaming we typically think of people who are overweight. But people are made to feel embarrassed about a whole number of reasons about their bodies.

I am overweight my GP telling I am is not body shaming. It's simple facts. Is it uncomfortable when they do yes, and so it should be. It's no different if the GP said I have skin changes because I'd been in the sun too long and need to avoid the sun else I'll risk having cancer. We can't run away from these things because they embarrass us.

It's a funny one on here, if you get a thread saying do you like larger women. And there's a whole thread of not for me, and a few insults in the mix. I can see how it can feel like it is shaming that body type even though it may not be.

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By *ailor75Man 1 week ago

Brigg, near scunthorpe

Never ok , but have to admit if someone says there slender or athletic and then turn out to obese then I will unfortunately say , I'm fine if they mention late on in the chat , but if I meet them it's just not right !! But I wouldn't say it to them in an insulting way , people are people at the end of the day , but I wouldn't go through with the meet

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By *itsandTonguesCouple 1 week ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Simple rule of thumb from a plus size/bbw/self confessed big girl:

Stating a preference for gym fit/petite/thinner ladies/ladies under a size... on your profile absolutely fine.

Stating not fat (insert derogatory term for the ample body) not ok.

Expressing that you're not interested in someone as they're not your type/a polite no thanks absolutely fine.

if they ask for further explanation a polite I'm not attracted to bigger women/men/bodies is perfectly acceptable.

Telling someone you'd never touch a fatty like them/you're not desperate etc not ok.

Every plus size person will have a preference for how you describe a larger body but ultimately it's about respect. Having been subjected to someone declaring loudly 'ugh it shouldn't be allowed look at the state of that who would want to f*** that' in a club ultimately I don't want or need your approval.

I fully appreciate I'm not for everyone. I'm rather glad about that to be honest as I'm not sure I could do a bonnie blue everytime I went to a club anyway lol.

All I ask is you keep your opinion to yourself and not comment on my body as I wouldn't on yours.

It takes a lot of bravery to walk into a club knowing there are people willing to be blatantly rude and abusive towards you for simply existing. Attraction is more than just physical for most people even in swinging!

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By *bitofaslutTV/TS 1 week ago

Cannock

I know what I look like. If it isn't something I can fix in ten seconds, keep it to yourself.

I haven't ever body shamed anyone, couldn't even do it when they asked me to. Hard limit!

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By *ora the explorerWoman 1 week ago

Paradise, Herts


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

"

Sorry I was kind of assuming we were talking on the forum in public. I don’t think it’s ok for someone to say nora you’re too fat for me in public as that’s personal, whereas stating it in general isn’t. I’ve never given reasons though. I just couldn’t say it’s because you’re this that or the other. I’ve always thought no is enough.

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By *riar BelisseWoman 1 week ago

Delightful Bliss


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

"

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings

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By *eordieJeansCouple 1 week ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I like a bit of body shaming. It stops me getting too fat.

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By *ora the explorerWoman 1 week ago

Paradise, Herts


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings "

Definitely this

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By *bitofaslutTV/TS 1 week ago

Cannock


"declaring loudly 'ugh it shouldn't be allowed look at the state of that who would want to f*** that' in a club ultimately I don't want or need your approval."

I haven't had that yet, but I know there's a lot of people thinking it and probably saying it behind my back.


"

I fully appreciate I'm not for everyone. I'm rather glad about that to be honest as I'm not sure I could do a bonnie blue everytime I went to a club anyway lol.

All I ask is you keep your opinion to yourself and not comment on my body as I wouldn't on yours.

It takes a lot of bravery to walk into a club knowing there are people willing to be blatantly rude and abusive towards you for simply existing. Attraction is more than just physical for most people even in swinging! "

Exactly that, profoundly. I'm not your thing, that's fine, I get it, but for god's sake leave me alone to enjoy my night and the company of people who do want a bit of me.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings "

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

I’m shorter than average, if I wasn’t getting anywhere with an attempted chat up and I asked them what it was about me they found unattractive and they replied “ Because you are short”, I wouldn’t for one moment consider that body shaming.

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By *bitofaslutTV/TS 1 week ago

Cannock


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

I’m shorter than average, if I wasn’t getting anywhere with an attempted chat up and I asked them what it was about me they found unattractive and they replied “ Because you are short”, I wouldn’t for one moment consider that body shaming. "

It's blunt Vs diplomatic.

What's so bad about "sorry you're just not for me/not my type"

Doris knows what size she is. Doris gets constant reminders. Doris doesn't need everyone who turns her down giving her another unnecessary reminder.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

I’m shorter than average, if I wasn’t getting anywhere with an attempted chat up and I asked them what it was about me they found unattractive and they replied “ Because you are short”, I wouldn’t for one moment consider that body shaming.

It's blunt Vs diplomatic.

What's so bad about "sorry you're just not for me/not my type"

Doris knows what size she is. Doris gets constant reminders. Doris doesn't need everyone who turns her down giving her another unnecessary reminder."

But Doris has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, fobbing her off or making a false excuse is in itself insulting in my opinion.

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By *ove2LurveCouple 1 week ago

Dartford

No, body shaming is never OK IMO. You don't find fat/large people, thin people, muscular people, long, short or tall people attractive? Well, just move on and seek whatever/whoever you do find attractive; there's more than enough s**tty behaviour in the world already without adding to it.

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By *punk n gushCouple 1 week ago

deal

No one should body shame anyone we are all different and we should make people feel good not put them down

However If you body shame yourself that's a different thing I guess as most of us have parts we don't like

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 1 week ago

Carlisle usually


"Doris knows what size she is. Doris gets constant reminders. Doris doesn't need everyone who turns her down giving her another unnecessary reminder.

But Doris has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, fobbing her off or making a false excuse is in itself insulting in my opinion. "

The asking is the definer here.

Someone calls me fat or an ugly titless wonder unsolicited, they're a twat.

If I ask for direct feedback on my attractiveness to someone, I'd hope for softer language, but I wouldn't call it body shaming to just answer a question honestly 💜

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By *ad NannaWoman 1 week ago

East London


"Doris knows what size she is. Doris gets constant reminders. Doris doesn't need everyone who turns her down giving her another unnecessary reminder.

But Doris has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, fobbing her off or making a false excuse is in itself insulting in my opinion.

The asking is the definer here.

Someone calls me fat or an ugly titless wonder unsolicited, they're a twat.

If I ask for direct feedback on my attractiveness to someone, I'd hope for softer language, but I wouldn't call it body shaming to just answer a question honestly 💜"

I could tell a man I prefer a little meat on a man, or, I prefer slim to average men, and not say sorry, your muscles and skin showing veins sticking out repulse me. Tact is the way to go.

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By *uchessdoeWoman 1 week ago

Northampton


"Simple rule of thumb from a plus size/bbw/self confessed big girl:

Stating a preference for gym fit/petite/thinner ladies/ladies under a size... on your profile absolutely fine.

Stating not fat (insert derogatory term for the ample body) not ok.

Expressing that you're not interested in someone as they're not your type/a polite no thanks absolutely fine.

if they ask for further explanation a polite I'm not attracted to bigger women/men/bodies is perfectly acceptable.

Telling someone you'd never touch a fatty like them/you're not desperate etc not ok.

Every plus size person will have a preference for how you describe a larger body but ultimately it's about respect. Having been subjected to someone declaring loudly 'ugh it shouldn't be allowed look at the state of that who would want to f*** that' in a club ultimately I don't want or need your approval.

I fully appreciate I'm not for everyone. I'm rather glad about that to be honest as I'm not sure I could do a bonnie blue everytime I went to a club anyway lol.

All I ask is you keep your opinion to yourself and not comment on my body as I wouldn't on yours.

It takes a lot of bravery to walk into a club knowing there are people willing to be blatantly rude and abusive towards you for simply existing. Attraction is more than just physical for most people even in swinging! "

All this! And very well said.

Personally if I ask someone why they don't want to fuck me and they reply "I'm not attracted to you", I don’t push any further. It doesn't matter whether it's because of my size or the fact my nose is a bit crooked - that's their business, not mine.

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By *ackformore100Man 1 week ago

Tin town


"It’s always ok as long as it’s against thin, muscular ect people especially on here

In all seriousness there is no need for it but a lot of what is classed as body shaming actually isnt, I once witnessed someone get accused of fat shaming on here for simply stating he had a preference for slim woman. Several years ago a nhs advert that stated the second biggest cause of cancer behind smoking was obesity, that was pulled due to complaints of fat shaming when it clearly wasn’t.

I might have a pretty blunt view of it but if I disliked my body enough to the point that words of others hurt me I’d do something about it

So you don't mind body shaming?"

Where have you read that?

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By *rHotNottsMan 1 week ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"

I’m really not attracted to you Doris because you’re fat - body shaming.

But what if Doris is fat, and that’s the reason that you are not attracted to her ?

What if Doris asks you if you are attracted to her, and when you reply “No”, she asks why you are not attracted to her. 🤷

Then say, 'because I'm not'.

Its easier to shut down the conversation, than deliberately go out to hurt someones feelings

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

I’m shorter than average, if I wasn’t getting anywhere with an attempted chat up and I asked them what it was about me they found unattractive and they replied “ Because you are short”, I wouldn’t for one moment consider that body shaming.

It's blunt Vs diplomatic.

What's so bad about "sorry you're just not for me/not my type"

Doris knows what size she is. Doris gets constant reminders. Doris doesn't need everyone who turns her down giving her another unnecessary reminder.

But Doris has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, fobbing her off or making a false excuse is in itself insulting in my opinion. "

you don’t owe anybody an explanation for not being sexually attracted to them or them not being your type. No is enough, and you shouldn’t feel the need to use the word . Sorry when saying no. That is not fobbing them off or making a false excuse.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman 1 week ago

Maidstone


"

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

you don’t owe anybody an explanation for not being sexually attracted to them or them not being your type. No is enough, and you shouldn’t feel the need to use the word . Sorry when saying no. That is not fobbing them off or making a false excuse."

I have to say I completely agree with this. I would also question anybody who asks why! Why on earth do you need to know? Just know they don't find you attractive and that's the end. Doris needs to give her head a wobble!!

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By *vaRose43Woman 1 week ago

Forest of Dean


"Simple rule of thumb from a plus size/bbw/self confessed big girl:

Stating a preference for gym fit/petite/thinner ladies/ladies under a size... on your profile absolutely fine.

Stating not fat (insert derogatory term for the ample body) not ok.

Expressing that you're not interested in someone as they're not your type/a polite no thanks absolutely fine.

if they ask for further explanation a polite I'm not attracted to bigger women/men/bodies is perfectly acceptable.

Telling someone you'd never touch a fatty like them/you're not desperate etc not ok.

Every plus size person will have a preference for how you describe a larger body but ultimately it's about respect. Having been subjected to someone declaring loudly 'ugh it shouldn't be allowed look at the state of that who would want to f*** that' in a club ultimately I don't want or need your approval.

I fully appreciate I'm not for everyone. I'm rather glad about that to be honest as I'm not sure I could do a bonnie blue everytime I went to a club anyway lol.

All I ask is you keep your opinion to yourself and not comment on my body as I wouldn't on yours.

It takes a lot of bravery to walk into a club knowing there are people willing to be blatantly rude and abusive towards you for simply existing. Attraction is more than just physical for most people even in swinging! "

This.

I’m ok with the word fat, but the context matters. I also appreciate that every person has their own preferences for language used.

Fat is one of those contentious words. My personal view is that fat doesn’t mean lesser value, being fat doesn’t mean I am not sexy too - that’s society that’s made people think that way over a word. Queer used to be an insult, yet I have many queer friends who love that word and have reclaimed it for good.

Stating you don’t find fat women attractive - fine

Stating fat women shouldn’t be out in public, “who wants to ever fuck a fat bitch like you” - Not fine

I exist, I’m allowed to exist and I’m allowed to feel good about myself. Approval of the masses is not necessary.

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By *urplevanmanMan 1 week ago

Salford


"

But she has specifically asked why you are not attracted to her, in this context there is no action of deliberately going out to hurt their feelings, you are answering a genuine question with a truthful answer. You haven’t added any derogatory adjectives to the word ‘fat’.

you don’t owe anybody an explanation for not being sexually attracted to them or them not being your type. No is enough, and you shouldn’t feel the need to use the word . Sorry when saying no. That is not fobbing them off or making a false excuse.

I have to say I completely agree with this. I would also question anybody who asks why! Why on earth do you need to know? Just know they don't find you attractive and that's the end. Doris needs to give her head a wobble!!"

Very good pro and con points raised in this one

For me .. the one word ‘fat’ is body shaming use better language

Also is this a blind date or does Doris look nothing like her profile pics ? In the former you can still have a nice meal or whatever as long as you both know where you stand

In the latter I would nit get to the point of the question being asked as I would just walk away

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By *atentHeelsCouple 1 week ago

Salford

Why would it be?

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By *asha86Couple 1 week ago

walsall

Definitely not. Weve had it in the past where certain users have messaged us and we've been polite and said "no thanks happy fabbing" and received some horrible slurs.

Its not wanted or needed and won't help anyone who does it in any way shape or form all it can do is push people backwards. For someone who's putting themselves out there to try and gain some confidence and self love it can be very hurtful and cause alot of anxiety / self doubt for future adventures. If you've nothing nice to say just don't say it at all.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 1 week ago

Reading

Shaming in any context is a vile thing to do. Why would you go out of your way to make someone feel bad? It's cruel. Fat people do know that they are fat they don't need a **** to let them in on that secret.

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By *usie pTV/TS 1 week ago

taunton

Doris does not need to worry I am here to cuddle her and love her I don't mind what she looks like as long as she uses the shower or bath daily.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan 1 week ago

Ends

Ew. Ew. Ew.

No.

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By *ools and the brainCouple 1 week ago

couple, us we him her.

Yet there's a whole other thread about Bonnie Blues vag and everyone seems happy to shame away.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man 1 week ago

BRIDPORT


"Yet there's a whole other thread about Bonnie Blues vag and everyone seems happy to shame away.

"

Ssshhushhh, you’re not supposed to notice things like that.

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By *midnight-Woman 1 week ago

...

I hope I never do it to anyone ...my mum does it all the time, even to my teenage nieces. I've called her out on it, but it doesn't even register in her head

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By *ea monkey OP   Man 1 week ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Yet there's a whole other thread about Bonnie Blues vag and everyone seems happy to shame away.

"

*Applause*

And so I ask the question again, is it ever ok?

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By *eri24Woman 1 week ago

Bridgend

I had a message addressing me as 'hey chunk'

And several unpleasant responses when I've answered no thanks

Seems to be the level that some people resort to when they don't get what they want

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By *ildTimes.Man 1 week ago

Colchester/London

Yes it's fine...next question.

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By *icecouple561Couple 1 week ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Sometimes people try to shame me for how much if my body I'm showing.

My mum was excellent at that

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan 1 week ago

Ends


"Sometimes people try to shame me for how much if my body I'm showing.

My mum was excellent at that "

I like how much you show.

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By *obdukesMan 1 week ago

small village

Sorry where do I find this Bonnie blue vag

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By *eoBloomsMan 1 week ago

Springfield


"Sorry where do I find this Bonnie blue vag "

Join the queue

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By *tanley FunseekerMan 1 week ago

stanley

I think it’s ok to have preferences, everyone’s likes and dislikes are unique. But to dedicate time and energy to criticise or degrade someone just because they don’t happen to align with your preferences is spiteful and makes you a pretty shitty person.

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman 1 week ago

Edinburgh

Absolutely not these threads that post about bbws or petite there is always someone shaming petite or saying they prefer Chubby or fat

We are all beautiful no matter our sizes

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By *icecouple561Couple 1 week ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I think we have reached a stage where it's very difficult to show concern about a person without being accused of 'shaming'.

I think if a person's weight at either end of the scale, has reached a stage where it's impacting on their health and quality of life it should be possible to address that with them

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman 1 week ago

Edinburgh


"I think we have reached a stage where it's very difficult to show concern about a person without being accused of 'shaming'.

I think if a person's weight at either end of the scale, has reached a stage where it's impacting on their health and quality of life it should be possible to address that with them "

I agree but it's no one's business to call someone fat if they are fat and underweight if they are underweight we know what we look like and it's up to ourselves to make ourselves healthy

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By *icecouple561Couple 1 week ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I think we have reached a stage where it's very difficult to show concern about a person without being accused of 'shaming'.

I think if a person's weight at either end of the scale, has reached a stage where it's impacting on their health and quality of life it should be possible to address that with them

I agree but it's no one's business to call someone fat if they are fat and underweight if they are underweight we know what we look like and it's up to ourselves to make ourselves healthy"

If either of our kids weight changed drastically I would express concern. My dad has recently lost a bit of weight and I've asked him to eat better if he can. We both privately expressed concern at Ariana Grande's appearance recently I wouldn't go up to a stranger and say anything though

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By *uchessdoeWoman 1 week ago

Northampton


"Yet there's a whole other thread about Bonnie Blues vag and everyone seems happy to shame away.

*Applause*

And so I ask the question again, is it ever ok? "

No, it's not, ever.

You can express a preference, or a concern if you really feel the need to with someone you love, without shaming them. Everyone should focus on being emotionally mature and intelligent enough to use appropriate language.

Can I just add, there's been a lot of assumption that body shaming always involves fat people - even though I am a very proud member of that community, it's important to remember that all kinds of bodies get shamed, including those who are slim, gym-fit, or disabled.

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By *icecouple561Couple 1 week ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Yet there's a whole other thread about Bonnie Blues vag and everyone seems happy to shame away.

*Applause*

And so I ask the question again, is it ever ok?

No, it's not, ever.

You can express a preference, or a concern if you really feel the need to with someone you love, without shaming them. Everyone should focus on being emotionally mature and intelligent enough to use appropriate language.

Can I just add, there's been a lot of assumption that body shaming always involves fat people - even though I am a very proud member of that community, it's important to remember that all kinds of bodies get shamed, including those who are slim, gym-fit, or disabled. "

I agree. I see far more public shaming of slim and gym fit people using phrases that if similar we're used against bigger people would cause outrage.

Privately I am given to understand it's a different matter

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By *bitofaslutTV/TS 1 week ago

Cannock


"

Can I just add, there's been a lot of assumption that body shaming always involves fat people - even though I am a very proud member of that community, it's important to remember that all kinds of bodies get shamed, including those who are slim, gym-fit, or disabled. "

Or fit neatly into the binary.

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By *endydick.CumbersnatchMan 1 week ago

.

Ah fuck I'm going to say it and let it out, but with the preface that I hold this back, always.

This goes a bit past the superficial body shaming by what's considered curb side attraction where body shaming is always wrong.

I have a background in science, health, nutrition and sports. This is not a comment specifically body shaming with Fab people, but in general society and interactions daily. From years of working with various groups, my own experiences, encounters, training, education....the whole lot, there's tons of things I see that are indicators of ill-health (both ends of the weight scale). Some are very subtle, but if you've spent time on the text books, reading report and being away, you see signs everywhere. Demographics and disease incidence makes certain symptoms more common, but if you know the signs you see them. And can't unsee them, and often the person with the symptoms can be oblivious to them. But this is superficial, an external observation and unless we've met, spoken, interacted and I've a judge on personality, support or know them, I don't know their backstory, what they know or what they've already addressed so I stay silent.

If it's on Fab, I have my preferences on attractions but I always hold back any comments related to body shaming, dysmorphia, health etc as they would be unsolicited and I don't hold formal medical qualifications - but some people should see a registered doctor if they're not already, but that's not my business.

I care for people. I like people. I enjoy mixing and getting to know people and I want people to be the people they want to be or can be. Then I have an internal conflict of "should I make a comment because if they are unaware, am I being negligent by not saying? Should I approach something that may be private or sensitive to them?"

If it's someone I don't know, I stay silent. If it's someone I do know (and very much depending on intimacy, closeness, friendship etc) then I might (and only might) suggest the topic if it's appropriate.

I'm going to get slaughtered on Fab for this comment because it's something which (certainly in the groups I work with) goes unsaid.

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By *obdukesMan 1 week ago

small village


"Sorry where do I find this Bonnie blue vag

Join the queue "

Had to be a catch !!!! Where do I line up

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By *wist my nipplesCouple 1 week ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Ah fuck I'm going to say it and let it out, but with the preface that I hold this back, always.

This goes a bit past the superficial body shaming by what's considered curb side attraction where body shaming is always wrong.

I have a background in science, health, nutrition and sports. This is not a comment specifically body shaming with Fab people, but in general society and interactions daily. From years of working with various groups, my own experiences, encounters, training, education....the whole lot, there's tons of things I see that are indicators of ill-health (both ends of the weight scale). Some are very subtle, but if you've spent time on the text books, reading report and being away, you see signs everywhere. Demographics and disease incidence makes certain symptoms more common, but if you know the signs you see them. And can't unsee them, and often the person with the symptoms can be oblivious to them. But this is superficial, an external observation and unless we've met, spoken, interacted and I've a judge on personality, support or know them, I don't know their backstory, what they know or what they've already addressed so I stay silent.

If it's on Fab, I have my preferences on attractions but I always hold back any comments related to body shaming, dysmorphia, health etc as they would be unsolicited and I don't hold formal medical qualifications - but some people should see a registered doctor if they're not already, but that's not my business.

I care for people. I like people. I enjoy mixing and getting to know people and I want people to be the people they want to be or can be. Then I have an internal conflict of "should I make a comment because if they are unaware, am I being negligent by not saying? Should I approach something that may be private or sensitive to them?"

If it's someone I don't know, I stay silent. If it's someone I do know (and very much depending on intimacy, closeness, friendship etc) then I might (and only might) suggest the topic if it's appropriate.

I'm going to get slaughtered on Fab for this comment because it's something which (certainly in the groups I work with) goes unsaid."

Slaughtered? I think this is a very well considered comment x

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By *ackformore100Man 1 week ago

Tin town

Seems there's some confusion over what shaming is... Maybe it's different for different people and their is no single definition... People feel what they feel.. However that is defined and having a conversation about...

What an amazing huge cock as an example... What beautiful pert breast... Does my bum look big in this... It should be possible to converse about body's without labelled as shaming... Equally recognising that some folks don't welcome any comments about their physique at all

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By *pen2UMan 1 week ago

Telford

I work in grocery retailer (not saying which one) and one of the customers we get calls me fatty EVERYTIME he sees me and yet, I can't say anything back to him because I'm on shift... I so hope that there will come a day where a retail purge (a day where we can say anything for the day and not be sacked or reprimanded for it) to come along so I can say what's on my mind...

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By *obdukesMan 1 week ago

small village


"I work in grocery retailer (not saying which one) and one of the customers we get calls me fatty EVERYTIME he sees me and yet, I can't say anything back to him because I'm on shift... I so hope that there will come a day where a retail purge (a day where we can say anything for the day and not be sacked or reprimanded for it) to come along so I can say what's on my mind..."

Please video it !

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By *aramelChocolatecoupleCouple 1 week ago

Surrey


"I thought it was acceptable on the forum?"

Totally opposite, but, you are literally my ideal body type - my husband's too. 😘

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By *ymClassDropoutMan 1 week ago

Berkshire

On this site people shame if it suits them and call it out if it doesn’t.

If you can’t see that ……… 🤷🏽

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By *all68Man 1 week ago

Liverpool

No, it can really cause harm to people. It is cruel and unnecessary. As for those into verbal abuse, or humiliation, well, if you like to receive it I wouldn't judge them, if that is what they feel they need, and I don't want to get into the psychology of why they have that need. For those who get off on being verbally or physically abusive, and humiliating others, I am probably more judgemental as that presents a more sociopathic personality, which personally,I find disturbing, even if within roleplay.

Call me old fashioned (to quote Dame Edna) but I much prefer encounters that are sensuous, respectful, equal and mutually enjoyable, which can still be horny as fuck

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By *parkle1974Woman 1 week ago

Leeds

It's never acceptable but usually done by people who have little to no social skills or confidence in themselves.

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By *avexxMan 1 week ago

cheshire

i honestly dont get it,, its cruel and no need

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By *atnip make me purrWoman 1 week ago

Reading


"I think we have reached a stage where it's very difficult to show concern about a person without being accused of 'shaming'.

I think if a person's weight at either end of the scale, has reached a stage where it's impacting on their health and quality of life it should be possible to address that with them "

If you are a close friend who genuinely wants to help you can Di that in a sensitive non shaming wY. A stranger on the web can keep their opinions to themselves.

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By *ongandharderMan 1 week ago

Rotherham

Depends on the situation and whether for instance the obesity of an individual is causing a direct complication for others

Eg taking up two seats on the bus etc

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By *ollyPocket75Woman 1 week ago

Aberdeen


"Depends on the situation and whether for instance the obesity of an individual is causing a direct complication for others

Eg taking up two seats on the bus etc "

So you'd say something to somebody who was obese and taking up two seats know a bus?

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By *uchessdoeWoman 1 week ago

Northampton


"Depends on the situation and whether for instance the obesity of an individual is causing a direct complication for others

Eg taking up two seats on the bus etc

So you'd say something to somebody who was obese and taking up two seats know a bus? "

I can't think what they could say - that person isn't going to lose weight in the next 2 minutes for you...

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By *exxyyDy11Man 1 week ago

North West

No I don't think it is necessary. If their bodyweight is causing them significant health repercussions, then maybe being a little more harsher to drill into them, the long term implications. But in general, no, I don't like body shaming.

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By *bi HaiveMan 1 week ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Seems there's some confusion over what shaming is... Maybe it's different for different people and their is no single definition... People feel what they feel.. However that is defined and having a conversation about...

What an amazing huge cock as an example... What beautiful pert breast... Does my bum look big in this... It should be possible to converse about body's without labelled as shaming... Equally recognising that some folks don't welcome any comments about their physique at all "

But there's a fundamental difference between your first two statements which are compliments, the third which is a question requesting feedback.....and any form of shaming which is uninvited comments from a third party.

Everyone can have an opinion. But when it's about someone else, usually a complete stranger, then maybe it's best left in your head, rather than put in the public domain?

Of course discussions and debates about bodies can be held. It's when they include individuals and personal comments that haven't been requested by someone that it becomes shaming of a sort.

If all someone is doing is making a disrespectful and disparaging comment about someone else then it's not discussion. Just shaming.

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By *ertcoupleCouple 1 week ago

Hatfield

Nope. What I like you may hate and vice versa.

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By *londebiguyMan 1 week ago

Southport

I don't agree with body shaming though I do see people in here who cannot seem to accept the reality of their bodies.

Not everyone is going to be attractive to clothes and we have to accept their preference.

It's very easy now to cry shaming when it's just reality.

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By *ansoffateMan 1 week ago

Sagittarius A

No it's very harmful.

And it's one of the most prominent forms of bullying that occurs. The rise in it over the last 20 years has been directly linked to the dramatic increase in rates of eating disorders, self-harm and depression in young people.

I find it a bit sick, if I am honest.

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By *ortney CocksWoman 1 week ago

.

[Removed by poster at 31/01/25 16:34:43]

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