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Why do things change after the sex?
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Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? |
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"Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
Not from me, but then maybe I'm strange! 🤔
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? "
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Sometimes after a good time I think people are looking for that next first time high.
Sometimes I think they just couldn’t have enjoyed it as much as me.
Sometimes I just think they view it as a different dynamic moving forward. For example usually people interested in something romantic continue the same energy compared to more casual connections. I think people are just bad at casual. Myself included sometimes.
AND SOMETIMES I just think people are so satisfied afterwards that they genuinely aren’t feeling as horny as they were and I don’t know if it’s good or bad. |
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"Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? "
What is it that you are expecting to happen post sex? You sound disappointed. I am keen to know why you ask.
From my own perspective I can very easily walk away from an awesome meet and enjoy happy memories. It's very rare that I repeat meet people. This isn't because I am a cold person, it's because I play within the boundaries of NSA, and the desire for that person diminishes afterwards.
Mrs |
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"What is it that you are expecting to happen post sex? You sound disappointed. I am keen to know why you ask.
From my own perspective I can very easily walk away from an awesome meet and enjoy happy memories. It's very rare that I repeat meet people. This isn't because I am a cold person, it's because I play within the boundaries of NSA, and the desire for that person diminishes afterwards.
Mrs"
The one off or nsa situations are understandable. Even people already in couples (meeting with or without permission) their ability to draw a line and move on afterward totally makes sense.
This isn't specific to me, It was a general query. |
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"Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? "
It's not the norm for me. But then I rarely go into anything with the intention of it being a one time thing. And that sort of behaviour would indicate to me that they weren't interested in repeating the experience, so I'd likely write it off and move on.
For sure the build up in the days before that first time are pretty peak for intensity and keenness of reply, so I expect a drop off to some degree. But not that much 💜 |
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The post chat is just as important as the pre chat to us.
Enjoy all getting off on the things we done and building up to a next time.
We enjoy sex together talking about it from our viewpoints too but want to ensure no one is feeling left out.
If there was no chat or contact afterwards it would feel like we were just sex workers 😬
K |
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I have a policy where I never message or call anyone after a meet. I do tell them this so it's a "get out of jail free" card situation. If they want to do it again then message me. If they don't then fair play, move on, enjoy.
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Oh god, I've thought A LOT about why certain sex encounters just don't go anywhere after it happens.
I think some people (I mean men here) say what I want to hear about looking for regular casual to get to the sex but really just want one and done. Other times I think the mystery has gone, or sometimes reality sets in. Other times I think expectations are not aligned especially in line with communication and it all just falls apart.
Mostly though when it happens I just fear the worst about myself. |
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"Oh god, I've thought A LOT about why certain sex encounters just don't go anywhere after it happens.
I think some people (I mean men here) say what I want to hear about looking for regular casual to get to the sex but really just want one and done. Other times I think the mystery has gone, or sometimes reality sets in. Other times I think expectations are not aligned especially in line with communication and it all just falls apart.
Mostly though when it happens I just fear the worst about myself."
I think you're partially right but I've heard stories about couples and single fems doing the same thing...
I think it's just about how many boxes were ticked during the meet... And if the right connection was there.
If the connection and chemistry is there then I'm sure they would want a second round. |
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There has to be more to it for me to want repeat meets. Everyone is looking for something different. Some want one offs and no repeats (= no feelings) and some want regular meets. It's about finding people or a person that has the same expectations and likes/wants as you. It's trial and error I think 🤔 |
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"What is it that you are expecting to happen post sex? You sound disappointed. I am keen to know why you ask.
From my own perspective I can very easily walk away from an awesome meet and enjoy happy memories. It's very rare that I repeat meet people. This isn't because I am a cold person, it's because I play within the boundaries of NSA, and the desire for that person diminishes afterwards.
Mrs
The one off or nsa situations are understandable. Even people already in couples (meeting with or without permission) their ability to draw a line and move on afterward totally makes sense.
This isn't specific to me, It was a general query. "
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Yeah those are the ones who only want to be in my life for a moment, no matter how much I want them to stay. I learned how to let go and move on and enjoy the memories.
However, if they do show up again, I don't let them back into my life  |
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It's been practically that for me since I started online fucking.
In the beginning they badly want the new and exciting pussy, and can't message enough.
Soon as they have it the balls are no longer aching for me, and I'm only thought of when they can't be arsed to wank
I'm being dramatic, but I'm not exaggerating that much.
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"It's called No strings attached fun.
Which is fine if that's what they've asked for, and you agreed to.
I think that’s the main thing here. You’re spot on BN "
It's being told they are looking for regular sex etc and constantly messaging and eager to meet. Then, once the sex is done, they barely respond to a message, or message late at night when they are horny, thinking I'm going to help them wank. |
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"It's called No strings attached fun.
Which is fine if that's what they've asked for, and you agreed to.
I think that’s the main thing here. You’re spot on BN
It's being told they are looking for regular sex etc and constantly messaging and eager to meet. Then, once the sex is done, they barely respond to a message, or message late at night when they are horny, thinking I'm going to help them wank. "
But tbf you are up late because you have nanna naps in the day!! |
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"It's called No strings attached fun.
Which is fine if that's what they've asked for, and you agreed to.
I think that’s the main thing here. You’re spot on BN
It's being told they are looking for regular sex etc and constantly messaging and eager to meet. Then, once the sex is done, they barely respond to a message, or message late at night when they are horny, thinking I'm going to help them wank.
But tbf you are up late because you have nanna naps in the day!!"
Only if I get up before 6am |
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Without trying to we've influenced how people have engaged with us. They hold the responsibility for what they do and say but we are part of the equation. They're also influenced by the culture and their experience.
A lot of people have habituated to a succession of partners and won't just have 2 person in the process of them being wooed. They get a different high from a fresh partner, so will focus their energy on the new ones. It's a different form of post nut clarity, that leaves you to the rearview mirror.
I don't think most people who are like this, will be honest about this, with prospective partners |
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"It's called No strings attached fun.
Which is fine if that's what they've asked for, and you agreed to."
That's exactly it. Majority of the time, its all 'I'll tell you what you want to hear' to get you into bed and then I'm done. They just don't want to tell us that  |
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"It's called No strings attached fun.
Which is fine if that's what they've asked for, and you agreed to.
That's exactly it. Majority of the time, its all 'I'll tell you what you want to hear' to get you into bed and then I'm done. They just don't want to tell us that "
And then people wonder why other people become wary 🤷♀️ |
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"I have a policy where I never message or call anyone after a meet. I do tell them this so it's a "get out of jail free" card situation. If they want to do it again then message me. If they don't then fair play, move on, enjoy.
"
I also have this policy if I'm being honest....my attention span isn't great & more than likely, someone else is now of interest to me. |
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If it's NSA then that's fair enough, but when it's someone who asks to meet again, or is looking for something a bit more regular, then yeah, it can piss me off a bit or make me wonder what happened to make them change Thier mind. |
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By *ony MannMan 15 hours ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura / Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover |
I consider NSA to mean we will get together if we feel like it. I do drop a line after a meet to gage the situation.
I can say I've had those who I've never met again, one who I arranged to meet a second time, but she cancelled late, like when i had already arrived, when she did called back a few months later asking for another meet I turned her down.
I have also had three longterm relationships from meets.
The other part of the question. Yes the first meets is about adventure and the later meets our about knowing the other person, I enjoy both, so I guess I will always swing. |
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"Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? "
Maybe you were really bad?? |
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So I'm going to be all scientific here. With guys, our excitement and drive is driven by testosterone. Once we spill that hormone, we go into shut down mode. A lot of guys actually get guilty after sex and have an unspoken feeling they did something they shouldn't have. So they shut down, until it builds back up
The key thing is often they do not understand these feelings or have the maturity to deal with them, so shut every one and everything out - and rarely does anyone talk about it
Not saying this is every man, some are just dicks on legs, but a lot of the problems that exist in the world are just mismanagement of hormones
Geek out |
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We have met and had one offs aswell as meet up after. For me jade it depends on the connection before and after a meet. Some have become very good friends after. I go into a meet with very little expectations. If the sex and chemistry was fantastic, I find people do tend to meet again. However I would never expect it as it is NSA fun after all. X |
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"Before the sex its all anticipation and promises of endless passion and all the prep to be presentable.
Then the sex happens and its damn good. High scores from both sides. Satisfaction all round.
After the sex theres a 3-5 business day wait for a one word reply, frostiness and full schedules.
Is this the norm? "
Yeah it’s the norm.
You’ve got to play it one of two ways:
1. Keep contact friendly but as limited as possible before a meet. No making promises or getting carried away. That way sex stays just sex, and no strings and no emotions. If something were to build after that then cool.
Or
2. If you really want to get to know someone and want them to text you and be into you, then hold off on sex for a while and try going for a social or maybe even dating. That’ll allow you to know a persons true intentions and build a rapport.
I’m a bit like you OP, I can get carried away and sometimes fall for the sweet talk. I’ve learned it helps to be more restrained and reserved. If someone I barely know is too keen, and we haven’t met, then I’ll take a step back and find someone less intense.
It works and helps find better, more authentic, matches. |
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Some valid points made.
Especially about distinguishing between clear nsa one offs, regular meets and those who say one thing but do another.
Also this wasnt about me personally, more a topic for forum discussion. Xxx |
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"Some valid points made.
Especially about distinguishing between clear nsa one offs, regular meets and those who say one thing but do another.
Also this wasnt about me personally, more a topic for forum discussion. Xxx"
I think the sex was so hot OP he knew it couldn't be bettered. Always get out at the top ! |
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