I've never watched a full episode but I do have a t-shirt of two cows which I'm actually wearing right now. Under one it says "small" and under the other it says "far away".

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By *exyScientistsCouple 2 weeks ago

Castlebar

That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what it's really all about.

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By *ittyKateUKWoman 2 weeks ago

Birmingham

"The cows.

These ones are small..."

Same!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple 2 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Is there anything to be said for saying another mass?

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By *ustAnotherMan 2 weeks ago

Mids

This town

Ahhhh

Is coming like a ghost town

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By *andyandy1979Man 2 weeks ago

Manchester

Mrs Doyle to Father Jack, "And what would you say to a little cup (of tea) Father?"

Father Jack "Feck off cup!!!"

Gets me every time

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman 2 weeks ago

Manchester

Those women were in the nip!!!

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By *ripfillMan 2 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

“FECK …FECK …. and FECK “

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By *8585Man 2 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

When Mrs Doyle says ride me sideways was another one.

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By *eordie.Woman 2 weeks ago

The Sticks

'I've had my fun and that's all that matters'

Father Fintan Stack

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By *utieBootyPatootieWoman 2 weeks ago

Here or There abouts

There's some very hairy babies on the island and I think you pat mustard are the hairy baby maker!!

😅🤣🤣

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By *aybeLadyWoman 2 weeks ago

West Dublin

'That money was just resting in my account'....

Father Ted is sorely missed 😒

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By *ornycougaWoman 2 weeks ago

MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat

Most of my faves are covered above but I'll add

(Alton Crosby) gives good mass. He really knows how to work the alter. Look at that chalice work, effortless.

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By *aybeLadyWoman 2 weeks ago

West Dublin

I think I need to binge watch all of the episodes again.

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By *nterblueMan 2 weeks ago

manchester

Dougal's "They Don't Exist" chart

Loch Ness Monster

Frankenstein

Magnum P.I.

Non-Catholic Gods

Darth Vader

The Phantom

The Beast

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By *l_xxxMan 2 weeks ago

South leeds

You wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, would ya Father?

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By *alted!Man 2 weeks ago

Cork

It's my money father. I just didn't want to fill out the forms

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By *hgoonthen74Man 2 weeks ago

Sheffield

Oasis or Blur??

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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago

Pat mustard

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple 2 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Careful now!

Down with this sort of thing!

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By *ustcallMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow

Dougal and Father Ted the song for Europe, the room is full of smoke they’ve been at it all night just playing the f=+*^n note

Even now I can’t stop laughing

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By *uperchargedMan 2 weeks ago

Manchester

"Chair! Curtains! Floor! GOBSHITE!"

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By *T_111Man 2 weeks ago

Windsor

ARSE BISCUITS!!

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By *ost SockMan 2 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff

“So, Ted…have you still got the old hairy arse?”

A seemingly frivolous line, that, in a few words, delves deeper into the psyche of Catholicism and the priesthood than anything that went before. Or since, probably

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By *dinBiPrvMan 2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

We ran the gas off the electricity, and the electricity off the gas, and we saved £200 a year…..

What’s your favourite humming noise?

Bishop: So father, do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested?

Dougal: Well, you know the way God made us all, right, and he’s looking down on us from heaven and everything, and then his son came down and saved everyone and all that…. And when we die, we’re all going to go to heaven…..

Bishop: Yes…. What about it?

Dougal: Well…. That’s the bit I have trouble with.

Eamonn

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By *glyfath84Man 2 weeks ago

Caernarfon

Small, far away 🤣

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman 2 weeks ago

Midlothian

Mrs Doyle, 'would you like a bit of cake, father? There's cocaine in it! Oh wait, I didn't mean cocaine...raisins!' (Paraphrasing)

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By *ustAnotherMan 2 weeks ago

Mids

I love my brick

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By *imiTheSweetMan 2 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Just play the fecking Note"

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By *erdyGuy4UMan 2 weeks ago

Would you like your pizza cut in 4 slices or 8

4 I couldn’t eat 8

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By *eceivers-of-edenCouple 2 weeks ago

W Yorks

TED: Television. It's a big waste. Chewing gum for the eyes.

DOUGAL: No, thanks, Ted. I've got these crisps here.

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By *ries AngelWoman 2 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Pat Mustard and the hairy babies

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By *ora the explorerWoman 2 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Chess or Buckaroo? - Actually, I wouldn't mind chess today. - Really? No, only joking, Ted. Buckaroo!

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By *zeroMan 2 weeks ago

Glasgow

"What would you say to a lovely cup of tea Father?"

"FECK OFF CUP!"

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By *lue morphoCouple 2 weeks ago

North West

Drink !

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By *underlandfellaMan 2 weeks ago

sunderland

"I hear you're a racist now, father! "

Should we all be racist now father, what's the official line of the church 😆

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By *cLovin2Man 2 weeks ago

Reading

Feck where do I begin?

I recently rewatched the series it's available on the 4 player.

Pat Mustard to Mrs Doyle: Can I put my massive tool in your box?

TV personality: I could have you killed!

Graham Norton: let's see who can shout the loudest aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Mrs Doyle: I blame the Greeks, because they invented gayness

Upon seeing Richard Wilson (Victori Meldrew) - I bet he'd really like it if someone went up to him and yelled his catchphrase in his ear. Results in him getting slapped up.

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By *he Silver FuxMan 2 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Nuns!! Reverse, reverse, reverse

Very, very, very, very dark blue

There’s cocaine in it

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By *ark.aitkenMan 2 weeks ago

Newcastle

""I mean, look at that. A perfectly square piece of dirt on the window!" As arms are waved around in an Elon musk fashion.

This one. The square had been there all the time. Hardly anyone noticed it but its just so funny

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By *irwanksalot69Man 2 weeks ago

Birmingham

Those women were in the nib!

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By *eading beddingMan 2 weeks ago

Berks

"Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom? ...of course, they ALL have lovely bottoms!"

"Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!"

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By *ensualbicockMan 2 weeks ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Don't call me Len ya little prick

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By *teveinYorkMan 2 weeks ago

Pocklington

Father Jack: "Nuns, nuns, reverse, reverse"

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By *tumpyminkey65Man 2 weeks ago

Dudley

What’s that that Jack calls the needy Ted?

A shower of bastards Dougal

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By *adbod2godbodMan 2 weeks ago

Manchester

Fed up with brrriiiiicccckkkkkkk

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By *ools and the brainCouple 2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Ahhhh will ye have a cup of tea, gowannn gowannn ......

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By *anchesterTaurusMan 2 weeks ago

Prestwich

Sooo you're a racist now father?

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By *ools and the brainCouple 2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Kick Bishops Brennan in the ball's

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By *ack1971Man 2 weeks ago

Cork

Just play the fucking note!

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By *ools and the brainCouple 2 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

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By *heCelticGentMan 2 weeks ago

Kempston

Some of us like the misery.

Near… Far away.

Ted, did Len find the rabbits?

And many many more!

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By *issmeltingpotWoman 2 weeks ago

Darlington

"'I've had my fun and that's all that matters'

Father Fintan Stack"

“ if you ever say that to me again I’ll put your head through the wall “

Also Father Fintan Stack 😂😂

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By *erseykevMan 2 weeks ago

St Helier

No Dougal! Those aren't small cows! They're just far away! And that money was only resting in my account!

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By *antam AvershiresMan 2 weeks ago

Falme

YOU LET DOUGAL DO A FUNERAL?!

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By *arakiss12TV/TS 2 weeks ago

Bedford

That tea machine episode classic, another tea farther. Hilarious.

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By *issmeltingpotWoman 2 weeks ago

Darlington

“ I have no willy”

Eoin Mclove

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By *ixfoothobbitMan 2 weeks ago

North East Coast

"The cows.

These ones are small..."

But the ones out there are FAR AWAY... Small... far away...

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By *layfull pairingCouple 2 weeks ago

Bristol

I hear your a racist now father....

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By *ornysouthwalesMan 2 weeks ago

Merthyr Tydfil

DRINK!!!

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By *uriousVoyeurMan 2 weeks ago

Northside

"“I’ve got to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!”

Dammit, was gonna say this one 😂

This and the fake arms during the OAP football match 🤣"

"Go on.....

.....my son"

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By *orkieBar1000Man 2 weeks ago

York

Down with this sort of thing.

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By *allGuy1000Man 2 weeks ago

Reading

There’s a spider baby Ted !!

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By *cLovin2Man 2 weeks ago

Reading

"“ I have no willy”

Eoin Mclove "

That's his name, when he tried to intimidate, he said "I can have you killed"

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By *aptain Caveman41Man 2 weeks ago

Home

" hairy Japanese bastards "

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By *77incuncutMan 2 weeks ago

Doncaster

All farther ted is amazing well written and missed

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By *elvet RopeMan 2 weeks ago

by the big field

I'm sooooo, sooooo, sorrrrrry!

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By *liceDarkTV/TS 2 weeks ago

Worksop

I hear you're a racist now, Father?

Should we all be racist now?

What's the Church's position?

I'm so busy down on the farm I won't have much time for the old racism.

Also...

The Chinese. A great bunch of lads.

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