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Chatting someone up
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"I usually trip them up and then say sorry and start the conversation, 3/5 success rate for those who didn’t fall flat in their face "
Also work's bumping accidently spilling their drink offer to buy a new one then get chatting however odds are 50/50 smack in the face or yes please I'll have a G&T.  |
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Pickle ever tried the pick up line;
"Nice tits love, fancy a shag? Don't look at me like that, if you're nice to me, I'll let your sexy friend join in"
Admittedly been using it for 30 years, still hasn't worked yet, but it's only a matter of time till I hit the jackpot. |
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If you have a wingman play have you met.
The premise is simple.
1. Find someone attractive
2. Tell your wingman
3. Walk over to attractive someone.
4. Wingman taps attractive someone on the shoulder and says “excuse me but have you met Mr Pickle?”
5. Wingman departs hastily
6. Mr Pickle for world domination
 |
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"Pickle ever tried the pick up line;
"Nice tits love, fancy a shag? Don't look at me like that, if you're nice to me, I'll let your sexy friend join in"
Admittedly been using it for 30 years, still hasn't worked yet, but it's only a matter of time till I hit the jackpot. "
Hit the jackpot ? I'm surprised you haven't been hit round the face  |
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"Pickle ever tried the pick up line;
"Nice tits love, fancy a shag? Don't look at me like that, if you're nice to me, I'll let your sexy friend join in"
Admittedly been using it for 30 years, still hasn't worked yet, but it's only a matter of time till I hit the jackpot.
Hit the jackpot ? I'm surprised you haven't been hit round the face "
Well there's always the immortal lines uttered by Pat Mustard on Father Ted;
"Can I put my massive tool in your box?" |
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"My advice is to ask someone who isn't me "
How about I walk up to you and ask
"Fancy a screw?"
When she says "what?"
Repeat"fancy a screw"
Before she has a chance to reply, place a screw on the bar/ table next to her. |
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I would point out that this thread is entirely pointless.
As people don't actually talk to each other face to face anyway,when was the last time you saw a pub or bar busy enough with potential single targets.
I thought youngsters ( under 40) only ever talk online these days and would melt into a puddle of awkward embarrassment if the need arose to talk to a potential mate. |
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"I would point out that this thread is entirely pointless.
As people don't actually talk to each other face to face anyway,when was the last time you saw a pub or bar busy enough with potential single targets.
I thought youngsters ( under 40) only ever talk online these days and would melt into a puddle of awkward embarrassment if the need arose to talk to a potential mate."
This does seem to be quite true now.
Very sad.
Increased anxiety and mental health issues hugely increased too. |
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I’ve winked. I’ve wolf whistled. I’ve said ‘nice tits’. I’ve said ‘can I buy you a drink?’. I have wined and dined a woman. There is no right or wrong, what one woman like another won’t.
If you are asking for tips, ask your mom. |
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I have no idea how to chat someone up. I simply tie myself to train tracks when I know the object of my desire will be walking by, and shout "HELP! HELP!" so they come rushing over, "rescue" me, and immediately fall in love. Always works. |
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"“I say. That’s a smashing blouse you have on”
Never fails.
See I tried that, when I said that it'd look better on my bedroom floor, she slapped me. You can't please them all 🤷🏽♂️"
Have you ever tried
“Nice suit”? |
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"Give me some tips?
Tell me the secrets"
·
I hold masterclasses once a month. The topics are: chatting up, flirting, gauging the way she ruffles her plumage at you, scents and sensory and scentsibilities, woo'ing, beguilement, courtships, trysts, dalliances and clandestine encounters.
You have to sign an NDA beforehand. |
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"Give me some tips?
Tell me the secrets
·
I hold masterclasses once a month. The topics are: chatting up, flirting, gauging the way she ruffles her plumage at you, scents and sensory and scentsibilities, woo'ing, beguilement, courtships, trysts, dalliances and clandestine encounters.
You have to sign an NDA beforehand. "
Are these classes online or Mayfair based? |
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"“I say. That’s a smashing blouse you have on”
Never fails.
See I tried that, when I said that it'd look better on my bedroom floor, she slapped me. You can't please them all 🤷🏽♂️
Have you ever tried
“Nice suit”?"
Where's the fun in that mysty? |
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"“I say. That’s a smashing blouse you have on”
Never fails.
See I tried that, when I said that it'd look better on my bedroom floor, she slapped me. You can't please them all 🤷🏽♂️
RUDE!!😂"
Might have been a bit rude, but I see it would have worked on you  |
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"“I say. That’s a smashing blouse you have on”
Never fails.
See I tried that, when I said that it'd look better on my bedroom floor, she slapped me. You can't please them all 🤷🏽♂️
Have you ever tried
“Nice suit”?
Where's the fun in that mysty?"
“Tit soot for the lads….” |
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"Give me some tips?
Tell me the secrets
·
I hold masterclasses once a month. The topics are: chatting up, flirting, gauging the way she ruffles her plumage at you, scents and sensory and scentsibilities, woo'ing, beguilement, courtships, trysts, dalliances and clandestine encounters.
You have to sign an NDA beforehand.
·
Are these classes online or Mayfair based?"
•
Mayfair based, my pedigree chum. Online simply isn't immersive enough. At a push I'll come as far as Notting Hill or Fitzrovia.🌈 |
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