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You’re stupid
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By *IXEN200Woman 3 weeks ago
newcastle upon tyne |
"I remember being d*unk when I was younger and slipped down all three flights of stairs on the Tyne bridge but laughed the whole way down them
Lmao I love that
Unhurt apart from your pride ?"
I woke up covered in bruises all down my right side and both hands where I tried catching railings or slapping off the steps. I still laugh about it now when I tell people |
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"I remember being d*unk when I was younger and slipped down all three flights of stairs on the Tyne bridge but laughed the whole way down them
Lmao I love that
Unhurt apart from your pride ?
I woke up covered in bruises all down my right side and both hands where I tried catching railings or slapping off the steps. I still laugh about it now when I tell people"
Luckily the alcohol let you bounce as you were relaxed I bet  |
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By *IXEN200Woman 3 weeks ago
newcastle upon tyne |
"I remember being d*unk when I was younger and slipped down all three flights of stairs on the Tyne bridge but laughed the whole way down them
Lmao I love that
Unhurt apart from your pride ?
I woke up covered in bruises all down my right side and both hands where I tried catching railings or slapping off the steps. I still laugh about it now when I tell people
Luckily the alcohol let you bounce as you were relaxed I bet "
It did |
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"I remember being d*unk when I was younger and slipped down all three flights of stairs on the Tyne bridge but laughed the whole way down them
Lmao I love that
Unhurt apart from your pride ?
I woke up covered in bruises all down my right side and both hands where I tried catching railings or slapping off the steps. I still laugh about it now when I tell people
Luckily the alcohol let you bounce as you were relaxed I bet
It did"
Perfect marketing slogan for drinking should be built around it |
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"Oh crikey....... so many.
.
One of the funniest is.
Whilst reviewing a design I asked my boss "who designed this bag of shit?"
His reply "I did". 
Did you find a new job quickly?  "
After find more of his crap work, yes. |
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Meeting a friend for the weekend, thought I’d take the train rather than drive, booked ticket, London to York, train was standing room only. Come home checked emails, and realised I had booked a seat and was in the wrong carriage!! FML  x |
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I got so d*unk in one night out Reading I decided to walk home to farnborough as it wasn’t all that far (it was 21 miles).
With my vision so blurred, three hours later I found a sign big enough to read the town names (this was before smart phones). Turns out I was halfway to Oxford.
Flagged down a taxi who quoted me £40, I countered with £20, we agreed on £30. Realised I didn’t have any money so asked him to stop at a cash point, which was when the price went back up to £40 🤦♂️😆 |
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Went on a bouncy castle inebriated and very nearly dislocated my skull from my neck, when I landed and stretched it into a very unnatural position, took 6 weeks to heal and I was thoroughly bollocked by the docs  |
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By *ripfillMan 3 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
Tried to cross the Sea of Galilee on an air bed from Tiberius to Erin Gofra
Didn’t make it turned back after several hours - spent time in the local hospital rehydrating in Tiberius
One of many stupid exploits ..
|
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"Got a pencil stuck in my head
I dare not ask.
It's not a pretty story 🤣 but if it wasn't for me wearing my glasses that day, I would have lost my left eye!
Crikey. Glad you're OK though. Xx"
Thank you xx |
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"Got a pencil stuck in my head
I dare not ask.
It's not a pretty story 🤣 but if it wasn't for me wearing my glasses that day, I would have lost my left eye!
Crikey. Glad you're OK though. Xx
Thank you xx"
Hugs xx |
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"Tried to cross the Sea of Galilee on an air bed from Tiberius to Erin Gofra
Didn’t make it turned back after several hours - spent time in the local hospital rehydrating in Tiberius
One of many stupid exploits ..
"
We've all tried crossing the sea of Galilee on an airbed. Haven't you ever tried something totally out there ? Like trying to fill your mouth with as many marshmallows as possible? |
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"I've bought train tickets for the wrong day before and not realised til the ticket inspector asked to check my ticket, that was an expensive trip "
Did this with a hotel. Was in Austria for 2 days, I'd booked the hotel for the 2nd day and the day after it |
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Fell asleep outside taxi office friends left me there
On the Albert dock left me in the pub fell asleep they left me there woke in the Morning by the landlord pissed but sleepy d*unk
Arguing with car when on Motorcycle six months in hospital  |
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By *obdukesMan 3 weeks ago
small village |
"Well not really
BUT what’s the most stupidest thing you’ve ever done
Funny, serious, when d*unk etc, let’s have them"
Definitely not my stupidest but I’ve said some pretty dumb shit in this forum tonight !
I should probably stay clear after a few for sure |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"Well not really
BUT what’s the most stupidest thing you’ve ever done
Funny, serious, when d*unk etc, let’s have them"
I don't drink!!!!
Once had some mushrooms and ended up sat in middle of the road crying cause I throught i was stuck in a box hahahahahah |
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Probably last year when I got mugged in the Philippines. I was out doing photography in some quite ropey urban areas late at night and for some stupid reason I had my wallet in my shorts back pocket with literally everything in it all my cards, ID’s , driving licence , cash everything. Totally screwed for the rest of the trip relying on friends to wire me Money by Western Union. None of the international banks would help me out
|
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I met a girl at a party, had a huge crush on her. We talked for hours that night during which she mentioned several times she was a nymphomanic and is craving sex. I Went out where her and some friends a few times always chatting with her. I even Went on holiday with her and some friends and we were pretry much always together. Several years later shes got married and asked why i never made a move when she was throwing herself at me - i legitimately thought she was just being friendly and and had no interest in me.
Thats probably the stupidst thing i've done - ignore the signs😭 |
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By *opeyXWoman 3 weeks ago
Dun Dee |
Can't think of the stupidest but whilst on a call recently I went good boy and the line went quiet, I was calling my dog a good boy and rewarding his behaviour, think the sales guy thought I was calling him a good boy.  |
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By *obdukesMan 3 weeks ago
small village |
"Well not really
BUT what’s the most stupidest thing you’ve ever done
Funny, serious, when d*unk etc, let’s have them
I don't drink!!!!
Once had some mushrooms and ended up sat in middle of the road crying cause I throught i was stuck in a box hahahahahah"
that ain’t stupid bro ! Pretty funny tho  |
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Sooooo many things … but inebriated one Christmas Eve I came home hungry and attached the turkey my mum had pre cooked, taking a huge chuck out of the breast using my hands. She wasn’t best pleased. |
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NOTE DO NOT DO THIS IT'S STUPID AND MORONIC.
In my late teens 19 I was very d*unk and took a shortcut home crossing a section of railway that was very busy and had the live third rail, basically double jeopardy trains and electricity.
When I woke up the next day and remembered the frightening thing was I didn't even remember I'd done it at the time it wasn't until sober I remembered.
Stupid stupid stupid  |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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Years ago, I fell asleep absolutely hammered in bed, my hands both in my jean pockets. Got up to go to the toilet, tripped over my ex's boots and hit the floor hard. She asks me what the hell am i doing, I'm like i can't move my arms! Starts pissing herself.... take your hands out of your pockets you idiot. |
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Invited an unknown man to mine late at night for sex.
He walked in and was over a foot taller than my 5ft 8, very muscular and fit.
Luckily for me he didn't kill me, we had great sex, and he actually wanted to keep seeing me for years afterwards. |
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Half way up a mountain in the Andes I misclipped a complete rack of climbing gear and watched it fall all the way to the bottom. Was left with two ice axes and a profound sense of my own mortality. |
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"Chopped the end of my finger off with a meat cleaver whilst dicing frozen chicken.
B"
If only someone had warned of the potential for disaster and suggested you defrost it in the microwave! The whole thing could've been avoided. 🤐 |
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One time many years ago I’d been out after work for a few (to many) drinks. Missed my stop on the train as I’d fallen asleep, so got off at the end of the line and went to the cab rank. The following conversation ensued:
Me ‘Hello mate, will you take me to Dagenham?’
Cabbie ‘Yes Mate’
Me ‘How much?’
Cabbie ‘6 quid’
Me ‘ok, will you do it for a tenner?’
🤦♂️🤷♂️😂 |
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Was looking at some paintings in a shop window. Decided to go in for a closer look and walked straight into the glass plate door.
Was in a busy shopping centre and made a very loud noise
Kink (mrs) |
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By *ucka39Man 3 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Putting the key in the lock and dunno why was turning it the wrong way and in my head I assumed someone inside had left the key in
Was only several hours later I tried and dunno why common sense just kicked in 🤣😂 but the door opens and I only figured everything out the following day, luckily I didn't have a sleep in the shed as it's already crammed 🤣 |
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Believed my ex when she told me the bloke who she worked with and went to bingo and stuff with and out drinking, that he was GAY,
I mean he looked Ian’s acted gay but I still think she was getting knobbed of him haha |
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When in my 20's. After a Friday poets session whilst riding my bike home I thought it would be a good idea to bunny hop over some fire brigade hoses spread across the road - didn't go well straight over the bars and I was strapped into my pedals (in an age before clipless) to end up upside down laughing hysterically whilst a cohort of firemen looked on with varying degrees of concern/bemusement |
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