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By *eacreste OP Man 3 weeks ago
hart village - Hartlepool |
Everything was going fine until a work colleague was asking what I was up to ony hols. and after telling him he looked t me in a shocked way, realising that I had no family and basically alone in the world, asking out loud "so youve not got any family?"
And saying on the last of the line of my family name.
It hadn't crossed my mind really until he hit home with it. Now I'm feeling crap about my life. I know I've just had the life dealt by fate but has
Anyone else been hit with similar realisations in life like that?
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I was ok. Fine really. Getting on with life. But someone felt the need to point out I don’t have kids. That being gay means I’ll never have my own family. No one to share my home with, pick up from school, help them start their own adult lives. All I have is myself.
It’s fucking amazing. |
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By *lan157Man 3 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
My ex wife told me that if I don't settle down with someone (i.e. someone specific to the exclusion of others) I will end up a lonely old man . It haunts me to think that she might be right. |
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By *eacreste OP Man 3 weeks ago
hart village - Hartlepool |
"I was ok. Fine really. Getting on with life. But someone felt the need to point out I don’t have kids. That being gay means I’ll never have my own family. No one to share my home with, pick up from school, help them start their own adult lives. All I have is myself.
It’s fucking amazing. "
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By *eacreste OP Man 3 weeks ago
hart village - Hartlepool |
"My ex wife told me that if I don't settle down with someone (i.e. someone specific to the exclusion of others) I will end up a lonely old man . It haunts me to think that she might be right. "
Life choices like me but you can't change the past.
I have accepted my fate and just try to enjoy life
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"I was ok. Fine really. Getting on with life. But someone felt the need to point out I don’t have kids. That being gay means I’ll never have my own family. No one to share my home with, pick up from school, help them start their own adult lives. All I have is myself.
It’s fucking amazing. "
This. For different reasons but the outcome and and satisfaction is the same. |
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Yeah had that realisation. You may also realise that your actually significant to anyone, no one first or last thought. Your not alone, there are many of us in the same situation. Don't let it get you down bro, see it as freeing if you can. |
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"Everything was going fine until a work colleague was asking what I was up to ony hols. and after telling him he looked t me in a shocked way, realising that I had no family and basically alone in the world, asking out loud "so youve not got any family?"
And saying on the last of the line of my family name.
It hadn't crossed my mind really until he hit home with it. Now I'm feeling crap about my life. I know I've just had the life dealt by fate but has
Anyone else been hit with similar realisations in life like that?
"
You never know what or who are around the corner. Try something you have never done or go somewhere you have always wanted to go. Flippant comments cut quick and deep sometimes. I have been told that I would die alone, I am lonely but I would rather be lonely that in a bad relationship again. |
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By *uzzleMan 3 weeks ago
Hastings |
People can be assholes.
I am one of lifes loners and a social recluse.
I once got asked if I was going anyway sunny on my holiday and I told them I don't have a passport. They looked at me like I was a freak and asked why I don't have a passport, so I told them because I haven't been abroad or on a plane since 1998. They walked off!
I've worked in my current job for 10 years, people know I am single and nobody has ever heard me talk about going on a date etc, because I haven't been on one in double that amount of time.
I'm in a mimimum income job and I reside with my parents.
I am a leper in their and society's eyes. |
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By *inkShyWoman 3 weeks ago
near Windsor |
I often get told to "Hurry up, settle down and have kids!", "Have kids before you can't", "The clock is ticking!!" "You're the only one with no children" (this isn't said to my gay family members fyi), "Your parents are the only ones of their siblings to not have grandchildren."
I literally cannot have children, I'm infertile and every time I'm told one of the above I break inside. I can't help that my body doesn't work, but people should be able to control their opinions.  |
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Some people really need to learn to mind their own business and think before they speak.
My only advice would be to think of the positives - your time is yours, your money is yours, our families can be the people we build around us not the ones we’re lumbered with by an accident of birth. You can do what you like without considering others or feeling guilty about not giving your time and finances to children or a partner. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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For some people family is everything. For others (like myself) it’s a drag. I don’t particularly enjoy their company, they don’t particularly enjoy mine. My real family is the friend group I have, people I chose and who chose me.
Life is what you make it - it’s hard when people make shitty comments sometimes, but you’re better than them. You know yourself better than they know you. |
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By *eacreste OP Man 3 weeks ago
hart village - Hartlepool |
"Some people really need to learn to mind their own business and think before they speak.
My only advice would be to think of the positives - your time is yours, your money is yours, our families can be the people we build around us not the ones we’re lumbered with by an accident of birth. You can do what you like without considering others or feeling guilty about not giving your time and finances to children or a partner. "
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By *eacreste OP Man 3 weeks ago
hart village - Hartlepool |
"I often get told to "Hurry up, settle down and have kids!", "Have kids before you can't", "The clock is ticking!!" "You're the only one with no children" (this isn't said to my gay family members fyi), "Your parents are the only ones of their siblings to not have grandchildren."
I literally cannot have children, I'm infertile and every time I'm told one of the above I break inside. I can't help that my body doesn't work, but people should be able to control their opinions. "
That's awful
I tried to pm you but was blocked.
I hope you can resolve this somehow with your family
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I can definitely relate to those moments where something hits you out of nowhere and makes you look at your life differently. Mine’s a bit more positive, though. For me, it came after several breakdowns that led to an autism diagnosis. I spent years feeling like a useless person because I couldn’t cope witn the typical expectations of life. I could have stayed in that place, feeling worthless, but over time I’ve realised I don’t have to do things the way everyone else does to have value. Understanding my limits, why I have them, and how to manage them has made me so much happier. My life is still valid, even if it looks different from what’s "typical". |
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"Everything was going fine until a work colleague was asking what I was up to ony hols. and after telling him he looked t me in a shocked way, realising that I had no family and basically alone in the world, asking out loud "so youve not got any family?"
And saying on the last of the line of my family name.
It hadn't crossed my mind really until he hit home
with it. Now I'm feeling crap about my life. I know I've just had the life dealt by fate but has
Anyone else been hit with similar realisations in life like that?
"
Realisation that I’m not going to see my parents again. Even with a family, I suffer moments of Emptiness, despair, loss, lack of purpose. |
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As soon as you stop blaming someone else for how you feel and start looking to yourself for answers and improvements things get better.....
It's not their words that hurt it's your own reactions.
It's not as if we don't know we are single and without kids before someone asks a simple polite everyday question.
That's not to the O.P. It's too all.
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"My ex wife told me that if I don't settle down with someone (i.e. someone specific to the exclusion of others) I will end up a lonely old man . It haunts me to think that she might be right. "
You’ll be as lonely as you allow yourself to be.
If you look around at all the people in couples don’t assume that either or both is not lonely |
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By *lex46TV/TS 2 weeks ago
Near Wells |
You can still get Married, have kids, get divorced and still be lonely.
Living on your own is not a failure. People are jealous of me because I can go where I please, do what I please. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone or tell lies.
I never had children, it’s just the way my life worked out. Admittedly this time of the year when it’s dark, cold and wet you can feel lonely but there are always things to do. |
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My dad's lonely.
He's nearly 98 and has been widowed for three years after 67 years of marriage. He's never lived on his own before.
That's nobody's fault, it's how his life has worked out.
Things other people say make no difference to his situation |
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