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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some things dogs just don't seem to realise...........
1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.
2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.
3. It shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.
4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.
5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid
6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk
7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.
8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.
9. No, it's my food....Oh alright then, just a small piece.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and thats the reason we have a cat, they do there own thing which is sleep for 23 hours of the day and just wake up to use the toilet and eat, then sleep again...  |
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"Awwww yes remember all that, I miss having a dog  "
Went 10 years without one- came up with a hunderd and one excuses as to why we couldn't have one and in a moment of weekness I caved about 3 years ago. Was the best thing I've ever done, can't imagin life without her and am missing her curled up beside me now. She's goofy and unruly at times but is totally accepting of us, makes us laugh and offers untold comfort - would never be without one (maybe 2) again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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...but cats do try and communicate with us.... ie:
1) It's not MY fault that your new sofa is perfect for my claws, but thanks anyway.
2) If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times - I prefer Whiskas Royal Jelly, not that cheap shit you keep buying!
3) I'll do you a deal, ok - you keep your kid under control and I won't twat it one with my newly sharpened claws.
4) Look, it's not fucking funny when I'm in season and you let every Tom, Dick & Harry in the bloody garden!
5) I thought you liked me to hang out with my mates at night for a good old sing song - that IS why you chuck me out at night isn't it?
6) Have you realised how gravel can stick in between one's pads - if you don't want me to shit in it don't leave it buy the back door - that's just fucking teasing me!
7) oops - sorry, was that your leg? Nice tights btw. 
8) I think it's probably not a good idea to pick me up for a cuddle when you've just put on a nice black dress to go out. You know I'm moulting so don't rant at me about it.
9) Where have I been for three days? I refer you to point 2) above - the lady next door buys it so what do you expect me to do?
10) I do have taste you know - it's not a question of you get another cat and I'll let it shag me just coz you want kittens. Fuck that malarky, I'll pick me own fuckbuddies, ok! |
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