FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > ADHD and swinging
ADHD and swinging
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"Imho they are more likely to have a messy garden, pampas grass died out or it's totally out of control and taken over " I know I lost my pineapple and killed my pampas grass | |||
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"It’s the chase for dopamine, isn’t it… 🏃🏻♀️ 🧠 " …Always seeking NRE New Relationship Energy, etc. ADHD / dopamine addiction can lead to increased difficulty in managing sexual impulses, we frequently seek out and take part in risky sexual exploits (ie we regard this as having ‘fun’)and we get heightened reward sensations from sexual behaviour. Amongst swingers the hypersexual tendencies are typical - so many people I know who are clearly on a spectrum or two. For me it used to be adrenaline sports when I was young, unafraid and stupid but it’s now mostly sex | |||
"It’s the chase for dopamine, isn’t it… 🏃🏻♀️ 🧠 " I think so! | |||
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"It’s the chase for dopamine, isn’t it… 🏃🏻♀️ 🧠 I think so!" Ummm I think this is true … well being and giving | |||
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"I am not sure it is ADHD alone that's a determining factor. I think there's probably more variation there than could lead to a meaningful assessment. I think there's some correlation between neuro-diversity and lower levels of conformity to social norms, which then subsequently be a factor. This would be dependent on the person's social experiences though." Well no it won’t be, because ADHD is an array of symptoms and effects. But a lot of people with the condition struggle with the mundane, focus and attention are problems. As well as impulsive and thrill seeking behaviour. You have to a knowledge that swinging can be pretty damn thrilling at times. | |||
"I am not sure it is ADHD alone that's a determining factor. I think there's probably more variation there than could lead to a meaningful assessment. I think there's some correlation between neuro-diversity and lower levels of conformity to social norms, which then subsequently be a factor. This would be dependent on the person's social experiences though. Well no it won’t be, because ADHD is an array of symptoms and effects. But a lot of people with the condition struggle with the mundane, focus and attention are problems. As well as impulsive and thrill seeking behaviour. You have to a knowledge that swinging can be pretty damn thrilling at times. " Indeed and from personal experience, something else can just as easily become captivating of my attention. Love, a field of study, a TV show, a game, travel, adulting 🤮. I can't say how ADHD manifests for others, for me it's not that one thing becomes dull or boring. It's simply that something else has grabbed my attention. I am sure from an external perspective that could look like thrill-seeking, or impulsive, for me it's often a deep fascination. The hedonism of my youth, gave way to a more epicurean appreciation, quite some time ago. I like to savour an experience and feel it beyond the physical stimulus. I don't want stuff my face with a variety of candy, I want to lose myself in the experience of a fine piece of chocolate, as it slowly melts on my tongue. Swinging is wonderful fun, exploring and discovering, with a partner, is something quite special to me. I can become so captivated, that other things, which are probably equally important, can fade out of my awareness. | |||
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" I can become so captivated, that other things, which are probably equally important, can fade out of my awareness." What your describing here is object performance, it’s a commonly reported issue for people with ADHD. | |||
"I think there's an iq connection." With swinging or with adhd. Or adhd swingers  | |||
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"A little bit off track... Bet there's no one with serious reglious convictions on here. That why I hate religion. It blinds people. " Yes and no, arguably. Did you see the news about that programme…secret lives of Mormon wives or something? Big group of holier than thou types turned out to all be secretly swinging with each other 🤣 I think, yes, there are people who would CLAIM to have serious religious convictions. But when you put those convictions to the test, ie, does your religion forbid extramarital relationships, you’d find them lacking 🤣🤣 But GENERALLY, you’re spot on yeah. On the ND element - I think there’s a BIG correlation with ND and the lifestyle. There’s a lot of stuff to it, but a big element surely must be the way that so many ND folk break out of/away from the arbitrary social conventions placed on them by society, etc. I bet there’s some really interesting studies on this subject out there 🧐 | |||
"My view is very unscientific but I think the majority of people who practice ENM are probably neurodivergent of one sort or another. Like I said though, just a personal opinion and not based on any real evidence or data" I have wondered about this. | |||
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"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays?" Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist | |||
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"I'm currently writing a blog post on this Exploring the Correlation Between ADHD, Neurodivergence, Autism Spectrum, and Ethical Non-Monogamy The conversation surrounding neurodivergence, which encompasses conditions like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), has evolved considerably over the years. One intriguing intersection gaining more attention is the apparent connection between neurodivergent traits and engagement in alternative relationship structures, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging." please drop a link into this thread once you're done! For my tuppenceworth, much like many of the comments above and no scientific evidence or basis other than my own experiences, I would lean toward 'yes, there's something in it', especially when given the broader ND brush rather than ADHD specifically. Be interesting to see this blog... | |||
"I’m wondering if there is any correlation between ADHD and people who like the variety and excitement of the swinging lifestyle. What are people’s thoughts on this, are people with ADHD more likely to have an upside down pineapple and a pampas’s grass in their front garden. " Absolutely not! I’m perfectly normal and I love swing….. Oh look a squirrel. | |||
"I’m wondering if there is any correlation between ADHD and people who like the variety and excitement of the swinging lifestyle. What are people’s thoughts on this, are people with ADHD more likely to have an upside down pineapple and a pampas’s grass in their front garden. Absolutely not! I’m perfectly normal and I love swing….. Oh look a squirrel." Are you getting things confused with the popular play ground apparatus the swing. Or maybe the type of music | |||
"I think there's an iq connection. With swinging or with adhd. Or adhd swingers "This site but also adhd. 2 of my kids have it and are highly intelligent. Rather small sample I know. | |||
"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist " It took my daughter 18 months to be seen and she already had a formal diagnosis from the US where it took about 2 weeks to see a psychiatrist. | |||
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"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist It took my daughter 18 months to be seen and she already had a formal diagnosis from the US where it took about 2 weeks to see a psychiatrist." How much did the American diagnosis cost. Mental health services in the UK are woefully underfunded, a decade and a half of being run down in preparation for being privatised will do that. But anyhow let’s keep this lighthearted xx | |||
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"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days." How about if you’re sick of hearing about it you don’t click on a thread about it? Or is that too logical for this place. This tends to work for me with most things. | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days." Everyone has it yet it's treated like it's neurodivergent. | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. Everyone has it yet it's treated like it's neurodivergent." I don’t believe everyone has it. A lot think they have it. | |||
"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist " Or you can go private as a last resort which we had to do with our child after getting nowhere with the NHS. 9 years of hell then had a diagnosis and prescribed meds within an hour. And life changed. Depends how desperate you are. I’d have re-mortgaged to do it if I had to. Best thing we ever did. Even though we shouldn’t have had to! | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. Everyone has it yet it's treated like it's neurodivergent. I don’t believe everyone has it. A lot think they have it. " To be fair getting a formal diagnosis can take years to access due to waiting lists. There's probably many people who have ADHD who aren't diagnosed. I think that bottleneck, plus decades of ignorance and stigma around ADHD are why now it's prominent in the public eye now. | |||
"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist Or you can go private as a last resort which we had to do with our child after getting nowhere with the NHS. 9 years of hell then had a diagnosis and prescribed meds within an hour. And life changed. Depends how desperate you are. I’d have re-mortgaged to do it if I had to. Best thing we ever did. Even though we shouldn’t have had to!" How do you get on with prescriptions, often when a diagnosis is done privately NHS doctors can be a bit arsey and make you have to pay for the drugs privately as well. | |||
"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist Or you can go private as a last resort which we had to do with our child after getting nowhere with the NHS. 9 years of hell then had a diagnosis and prescribed meds within an hour. And life changed. Depends how desperate you are. I’d have re-mortgaged to do it if I had to. Best thing we ever did. Even though we shouldn’t have had to! How do you get on with prescriptions, often when a diagnosis is done privately NHS doctors can be a bit arsey and make you have to pay for the drugs privately as well. " Yes! We were lucky. We went for the prescriptions and one was £20 a month and one was £120. One of the meds couldn’t be prescribed for children on the nhs so we had to pay for that one (luckily the cheapest one) until she was 16. The other we managed to get prescribed by the GP as it was an ADHD med. the NHS can get funny if you go private though. | |||
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"Great information 👍 " Thank you pity the formatting got all screwed up 😂 | |||
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"### Exploring the Connection Between ADHD, Neurodivergence, Autism Spectrum, and Ethical Non-Monogamy The conversation surrounding neurodivergence, which encompasses conditions like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), has evolved considerably over the years. Advances in neuroscience, increased awareness through advocacy movements, and the destigmatization of mental health have all contributed to a more nuanced understanding of these conditions and their impact on individuals’ lives. One intriguing intersection gaining more attention is the apparent connection between neurodivergent traits and engagement in alternative relationship structures, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging. While these topics may seem unrelated at first glance, they share underlying themes of communication, boundary-setting, and community, which resonate with many neurodivergent individuals. This article explores why individuals with ADHD or autism may gravitate toward ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging, delving into psychological, social, and neurological factors at play. --- ### **Understanding Neurodivergence: ADHD and Autism Spectrum** **Neurodivergence** refers to variations in brain function and behavior that deviate from what is considered “neurotypical.” People with ADHD often experience challenges with impulse control, focus, and executive function but also tend to possess heightened creativity and spontaneity. Meanwhile, those on the autism spectrum may display traits like a deep focus on specific interests, sensory sensitivity, and a need for clear and direct communication. **Key Traits of Neurodivergence in Relationships:** 1. **Direct Communication Needs:** Many neurodivergent people value clarity and explicit communication, reducing misunderstandings. For example, they may prefer explicitly stating relationship rules rather than relying on unspoken expectations. 2. **Rejection Sensitivity:** Those with ADHD often experience rejection sensitivity, influencing how they seek and maintain connections. This might mean requiring frequent reassurance from a partner or avoiding situations where rejection feels likely. 3. **Sensory Preferences and Boundaries:** Sensory sensitivity can play a role in physical intimacy, dictating preferences and comfort zones. For instance, someone might be uncomfortable with certain types of touch or prefer dim lighting during intimate moments. 4. **Preference for Non-Traditional Norms:** Both ADHD and autism can foster a tendency to question societal norms, making non-traditional relationship structures more appealing. A neurodivergent individual might find monogamy restrictive and instead seek relationship models that better align with their values of autonomy and exploration. --- ### **Understanding Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Swinging** **Ethical non-monogamy (ENM)** refers to consensual relationship models where individuals engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners. Swinging, a subset of ENM, focuses on consensual sexual exploration, often within a community setting. Both emphasize: - **Open Communication:** Honesty about needs, desires, and boundaries. - **Consent:** Clear agreement between all parties involved. - **Community and Connection:** Finding like-minded individuals who share values of openness and exploration. --- ### **Why Neurodivergent Individuals Are Drawn to Ethical Non-Monogamy and Swinging** 1. **A Desire for Structure and Clarity:** Neurodivergent individuals often thrive in environments where expectations are clear and boundaries are respected. ENM frameworks emphasize explicit discussions about rules and agreements, aligning with the need for a structure that many neurodivergent people prefer. 2. **Challenging Social Norms:** People with ADHD or autism are often more likely to question societal conventions, including traditional monogamy. The openness of ENM aligns with a desire to explore what feels authentic rather than adhering to prescribed norms. 3. **Reduced Social Pressure:** Traditional dating can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals due to implicit social cues and expectations. For instance, someone with autism may struggle with reading subtle body language or interpreting ambiguous statements, leading to misunderstandings or discomfort during dates. Similarly, a person with ADHD might find the unspoken rules of dating frustrating, preferring direct communication about intentions and boundaries. ENM’s emphasis on honesty and transparency can alleviate this pressure, fostering a more accommodating social environment. 4. **Community and Belonging:** Many neurodivergent individuals seek community as a means of navigating a world that can feel isolating or judgmental. The ENM and swinging communities often emphasize acceptance, creating safe spaces for those who might feel “othered” in traditional contexts. 5. **Stimulus Seeking in ADHD:** ADHD is often associated with sensation-seeking behaviors, driven by dopamine dysregulation. Swinging or ENM may appeal to this need for novelty and excitement while offering a consensual and structured outlet for exploration. 6. **Focus on Consent and Autonomy:** Many neurodivergent individuals value personal autonomy and mutual respect. The explicit nature of consent within ENM resonates with their need for clear agreements and respect for boundaries. --- ### **Potential Challenges and Considerations** Addressing challenges is essential for neurodivergent individuals to participate successfully in ENM or swinging, as it fosters personal growth and relationship harmony. While ENM and swinging offer numerous benefits, they also present unique challenges for neurodivergent individuals: 1. **Emotional Regulation:** Rejection sensitivity, common in ADHD, can make navigating jealousy and complex emotions more challenging. 2. **Sensory Overload:** Social gatherings and intimate settings in ENM communities can sometimes overwhelm those with sensory sensitivities. 3. **Navigating Social Nuances:** Autism-related difficulties in interpreting social cues may lead to misunderstandings in high-context interactions. 4. **Stigma and Misunderstanding:** Both neurodivergence and non-monogamy face societal stigma, potentially compounding feelings of judgment or isolation. --- ### **Practical Tips for Neurodivergent Individuals Exploring ENM or Swinging** 1. **Start with Education:** Learn about ENM and swinging through books, podcasts, and online communities. 2. **Communicate Needs Clearly:** Be upfront about your preferences, boundaries, and triggers. 3. **Choose Supportive Communities:** Seek spaces that prioritize inclusivity and neurodivergent-friendly practices. 4. **Practice Emotional Self-Care:** Develop tools for managing emotions, such as mindfulness or therapy. 5. **Set Boundaries:** Establish what feels comfortable and communicate those boundaries regularly. --- ### **Conclusion** The intersection of neurodivergence and alternative relationship structures like ENM and swinging is a fascinating and growing area of exploration. To dive deeper, consider exploring community forums, attending educational workshops, or reading books that address the unique challenges and rewards of these intersections. For many neurodivergent individuals, these models offer a sense of belonging, autonomy, and authenticity that traditional relationship paradigms may lack. However, navigating these spaces requires self-awareness, clear communication, and an openness to growth. As society continues to embrace diverse identities and relationships, understanding these connections can foster greater empathy and inclusivity for all. " 🥰 | |||
"Great information 👍 Thank you pity the formatting got all screwed up 😂 " A very interesting and comprehensive read thank you. | |||
"Great information 👍 Thank you pity the formatting got all screwed up 😂 A very interesting and comprehensive read thank you." thanks  | |||
"Who diagnoses adhd? I can't imagine the GP would nowadays? Initially you approach your GP They normally screen you by making you do a survey. If that’s suggests you might have adhd then you are referred on to either your local mental health service which will have an enormous wait time. Or you can asked to be referred to a 3rd party mental health service under something called right to choose. These have a less enormous wait. When you get an appointment you are then seen by a psychiatrist It took my daughter 18 months to be seen and she already had a formal diagnosis from the US where it took about 2 weeks to see a psychiatrist. How much did the American diagnosis cost. Mental health services in the UK are woefully underfunded, a decade and a half of being run down in preparation for being privatised will do that. But anyhow let’s keep this lighthearted xx" We had good insurance so just the copay. | |||
"I don’t know much about ADHD in adults but if anyone has a child with it and is struggling please feel free to message me. I have fought and fought over the years, for the help and to get her into a special school. And I mean fought! There’s not much I don’t know about it as I always made sure I had my facts correct before I went bounding in! 🤣" In adults there's quite often trauma related issues too. Being repeatedly punished and told you are 'just being naughty' or bad or stupid etc by the people who hold power over you and who ought to protect and nurture you, has a tendency to leave a psychological impact. | |||
"I am not sure it is ADHD alone that's a determining factor. I think there's probably more variation there than could lead to a meaningful assessment. I think there's some correlation between neuro-diversity and lower levels of conformity to social norms, which then subsequently be a factor. This would be dependent on the person's social experiences though. Well no it won’t be, because ADHD is an array of symptoms and effects. But a lot of people with the condition struggle with the mundane, focus and attention are problems. As well as impulsive and thrill seeking behaviour. You have to a knowledge that swinging can be pretty damn thrilling at times. " The focus issue though could be a negative though. If someone gets focused on something say at work and totally forgets to message/keep connection with the person on here then they could miss out Be viewed as a waste of space/hard work | |||
"I don’t know much about ADHD in adults but if anyone has a child with it and is struggling please feel free to message me. I have fought and fought over the years, for the help and to get her into a special school. And I mean fought! There’s not much I don’t know about it as I always made sure I had my facts correct before I went bounding in! 🤣 In adults there's quite often trauma related issues too. Being repeatedly punished and told you are 'just being naughty' or bad or stupid etc by the people who hold power over you and who ought to protect and nurture you, has a tendency to leave a psychological impact." Yes I imagine that would cause a psychological impact 😞😞 | |||
"I don’t know much about ADHD in adults but if anyone has a child with it and is struggling please feel free to message me. I have fought and fought over the years, for the help and to get her into a special school. And I mean fought! There’s not much I don’t know about it as I always made sure I had my facts correct before I went bounding in! 🤣 In adults there's quite often trauma related issues too. Being repeatedly punished and told you are 'just being naughty' or bad or stupid etc by the people who hold power over you and who ought to protect and nurture you, has a tendency to leave a psychological impact. Yes I imagine that would cause a psychological impact 😞😞" Your kids are lucky to have a mum that'll fight for them, not everyone has that. 💜 | |||
"I don’t know much about ADHD in adults but if anyone has a child with it and is struggling please feel free to message me. I have fought and fought over the years, for the help and to get her into a special school. And I mean fought! There’s not much I don’t know about it as I always made sure I had my facts correct before I went bounding in! 🤣 In adults there's quite often trauma related issues too. Being repeatedly punished and told you are 'just being naughty' or bad or stupid etc by the people who hold power over you and who ought to protect and nurture you, has a tendency to leave a psychological impact. Yes I imagine that would cause a psychological impact 😞😞 Your kids are lucky to have a mum that'll fight for them, not everyone has that. 💜" Oh I know. I see it a lot. Breaks my heart it really does 😞 | |||
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"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. How about if you’re sick of hearing about it you don’t click on a thread about it? Or is that too logical for this place. This tends to work for me with most things. " How about I do as I like and comment on whatever I like, works for me! | |||
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"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days." Ignorance of the finest hey! It's not exactly a fun thing people have to live with and thankfully, due to advance knowledge, people are able to gain a diagnosis through an arduous process which helps them understand how to navigate life that little bit better... | |||
" How about I do as I like and comment on whatever I like, works for me!" You can absolutely do what you like and comment as you like. But there is an old adage that might fit “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt” Happy fabbing xx | |||
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"I, too, think it's an ND thing." that was why I focussed the blog post on ND rather than just one aspect | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days." The estimate is that around 2 million people have ADHD in the UK, but fewer than a couple of hundred thousand are formally diagnosed. The waiting list for assessment is massive, and clinicians in the NHS would rather not diagnose unless they see it really impacting someone's life. So, not 'everyone' by any stretch of the imagination. Comments like this are either borne out of poor knowledge or complete prejudice. | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. The estimate is that around 2 million people have ADHD in the UK, but fewer than a couple of hundred thousand are formally diagnosed. The waiting list for assessment is massive, and clinicians in the NHS would rather not diagnose unless they see it really impacting someone's life. So, not 'everyone' by any stretch of the imagination. Comments like this are either borne out of poor knowledge or complete prejudice." Ok cupcake | |||
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"I didn’t start this thread to be antagonistic to anyone I was just trying to see if anyone else had noticed the same connection with neurodiversity and swinging as I had " You're not in the wrong. | |||
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"My ENM discoveries and ND discoveries have definitely been interconnected. It’s like looking at myself in a whole new light and has helped me to make sense of many things. Mrs TMN x" Yeah, same. All part of my self acceptance. | |||
"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. The estimate is that around 2 million people have ADHD in the UK, but fewer than a couple of hundred thousand are formally diagnosed. The waiting list for assessment is massive, and clinicians in the NHS would rather not diagnose unless they see it really impacting someone's life. So, not 'everyone' by any stretch of the imagination. Comments like this are either borne out of poor knowledge or complete prejudice. Ok cupcake " So, you make an inflammatory post about something you're clearly clueless about, and then get the arseache when someone calls you out for it? Okeedokee 
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"Sick of hearing about ADHD, seems everyone has it these days. The estimate is that around 2 million people have ADHD in the UK, but fewer than a couple of hundred thousand are formally diagnosed. The waiting list for assessment is massive, and clinicians in the NHS would rather not diagnose unless they see it really impacting someone's life. So, not 'everyone' by any stretch of the imagination. Comments like this are either borne out of poor knowledge or complete prejudice. Ok cupcake So, you make an inflammatory post about something you're clearly clueless about, and then get the arseache when someone calls you out for it? Okeedokee
"Being sick of hearing about something isnt inflammatory, nor does it mean I have no knowledge or that I'm clueless about it. I'm also sick of hearing about a number of things. I'm entitled to my opinion, but you don't seem to think so. People post things because they need or seek others opinions. Just because my opinion differs from yours doesn't make me unknowledgable. | |||
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"### Exploring the Connection Between ADHD, Neurodivergence, Autism Spectrum, and Ethical Non-Monogamy The conversation surrounding neurodivergence, which encompasses conditions like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), has evolved considerably over the years. Advances in neuroscience, increased awareness through advocacy movements, and the destigmatization of mental health have all contributed to a more nuanced understanding of these conditions and their impact on individuals’ lives. One intriguing intersection gaining more attention is the apparent connection between neurodivergent traits and engagement in alternative relationship structures, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging. While these topics may seem unrelated at first glance, they share underlying themes of communication, boundary-setting, and community, which resonate with many neurodivergent individuals. This article explores why individuals with ADHD or autism may gravitate toward ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging, delving into psychological, social, and neurological factors at play. --- ### **Understanding Neurodivergence: ADHD and Autism Spectrum** **Neurodivergence** refers to variations in brain function and behavior that deviate from what is considered “neurotypical.” People with ADHD often experience challenges with impulse control, focus, and executive function but also tend to possess heightened creativity and spontaneity. Meanwhile, those on the autism spectrum may display traits like a deep focus on specific interests, sensory sensitivity, and a need for clear and direct communication. **Key Traits of Neurodivergence in Relationships:** 1. **Direct Communication Needs:** Many neurodivergent people value clarity and explicit communication, reducing misunderstandings. For example, they may prefer explicitly stating relationship rules rather than relying on unspoken expectations. 2. **Rejection Sensitivity:** Those with ADHD often experience rejection sensitivity, influencing how they seek and maintain connections. This might mean requiring frequent reassurance from a partner or avoiding situations where rejection feels likely. 3. **Sensory Preferences and Boundaries:** Sensory sensitivity can play a role in physical intimacy, dictating preferences and comfort zones. For instance, someone might be uncomfortable with certain types of touch or prefer dim lighting during intimate moments. 4. **Preference for Non-Traditional Norms:** Both ADHD and autism can foster a tendency to question societal norms, making non-traditional relationship structures more appealing. A neurodivergent individual might find monogamy restrictive and instead seek relationship models that better align with their values of autonomy and exploration. --- ### **Understanding Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Swinging** **Ethical non-monogamy (ENM)** refers to consensual relationship models where individuals engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners. Swinging, a subset of ENM, focuses on consensual sexual exploration, often within a community setting. Both emphasize: - **Open Communication:** Honesty about needs, desires, and boundaries. - **Consent:** Clear agreement between all parties involved. - **Community and Connection:** Finding like-minded individuals who share values of openness and exploration. --- ### **Why Neurodivergent Individuals Are Drawn to Ethical Non-Monogamy and Swinging** 1. **A Desire for Structure and Clarity:** Neurodivergent individuals often thrive in environments where expectations are clear and boundaries are respected. ENM frameworks emphasize explicit discussions about rules and agreements, aligning with the need for a structure that many neurodivergent people prefer. 2. **Challenging Social Norms:** People with ADHD or autism are often more likely to question societal conventions, including traditional monogamy. The openness of ENM aligns with a desire to explore what feels authentic rather than adhering to prescribed norms. 3. **Reduced Social Pressure:** Traditional dating can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals due to implicit social cues and expectations. For instance, someone with autism may struggle with reading subtle body language or interpreting ambiguous statements, leading to misunderstandings or discomfort during dates. Similarly, a person with ADHD might find the unspoken rules of dating frustrating, preferring direct communication about intentions and boundaries. ENM’s emphasis on honesty and transparency can alleviate this pressure, fostering a more accommodating social environment. 4. **Community and Belonging:** Many neurodivergent individuals seek community as a means of navigating a world that can feel isolating or judgmental. The ENM and swinging communities often emphasize acceptance, creating safe spaces for those who might feel “othered” in traditional contexts. 5. **Stimulus Seeking in ADHD:** ADHD is often associated with sensation-seeking behaviors, driven by dopamine dysregulation. Swinging or ENM may appeal to this need for novelty and excitement while offering a consensual and structured outlet for exploration. 6. **Focus on Consent and Autonomy:** Many neurodivergent individuals value personal autonomy and mutual respect. The explicit nature of consent within ENM resonates with their need for clear agreements and respect for boundaries. --- ### **Potential Challenges and Considerations** Addressing challenges is essential for neurodivergent individuals to participate successfully in ENM or swinging, as it fosters personal growth and relationship harmony. While ENM and swinging offer numerous benefits, they also present unique challenges for neurodivergent individuals: 1. **Emotional Regulation:** Rejection sensitivity, common in ADHD, can make navigating jealousy and complex emotions more challenging. 2. **Sensory Overload:** Social gatherings and intimate settings in ENM communities can sometimes overwhelm those with sensory sensitivities. 3. **Navigating Social Nuances:** Autism-related difficulties in interpreting social cues may lead to misunderstandings in high-context interactions. 4. **Stigma and Misunderstanding:** Both neurodivergence and non-monogamy face societal stigma, potentially compounding feelings of judgment or isolation. --- ### **Practical Tips for Neurodivergent Individuals Exploring ENM or Swinging** 1. **Start with Education:** Learn about ENM and swinging through books, podcasts, and online communities. 2. **Communicate Needs Clearly:** Be upfront about your preferences, boundaries, and triggers. 3. **Choose Supportive Communities:** Seek spaces that prioritize inclusivity and neurodivergent-friendly practices. 4. **Practice Emotional Self-Care:** Develop tools for managing emotions, such as mindfulness or therapy. 5. **Set Boundaries:** Establish what feels comfortable and communicate those boundaries regularly. --- ### **Conclusion** The intersection of neurodivergence and alternative relationship structures like ENM and swinging is a fascinating and growing area of exploration. To dive deeper, consider exploring community forums, attending educational workshops, or reading books that address the unique challenges and rewards of these intersections. For many neurodivergent individuals, these models offer a sense of belonging, autonomy, and authenticity that traditional relationship paradigms may lack. However, navigating these spaces requires self-awareness, clear communication, and an openness to growth. As society continues to embrace diverse identities and relationships, understanding these connections can foster greater empathy and inclusivity for all. " Thank you so much for this! It has given me clarity & explains so much of why I am who I am & my behaviour in all aspects of my life! Only took me 56 years to get there!😊 | |||
"Definitely recognise myself in this. Always chasing the next thing for sure" This ⬆️ is 100% me! | |||
