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The Art of Conversation...
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Is it us or does it feel like you are pulling teeth at times with people you begin to start messaging? And it's annoying as some couples you think you've hit the jackpot with, but then, they have zero conversation! 🙈
We'd like to think we are good talkers who can talk about anything! But should it be all on us to ask questions and not receive anything back? We said we'd never get to the point where we're 'forcing' a conversation! |
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With some people it is like pulling teeth. If I can't get a decent conversion going over text on here the likelihood of me wanting to meet them is probably slim. I feel like you can get a good idea if you're gonna have chemistry with someone from a conversation, and if it's not there over text I find it's unlikely to be there in person. |
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"Some people find it difficult to communicate in the written word. If you like them you might find conversation flows in person.
"
We get that and understand it can be hard but we all have to make an effort right in that initial 'spark' stage? We'd be less inclined to meet people who didn't appear that interested in us over people where there is free flowing conversation? |
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I find it frustrating sometimes when the recipient is obviously into it but content with couple of words responses doing nothing for me. When you do let it fizzle out they can be like "u there?" Surprised.
Have to spell it out that it wasn't really working, feels weird |
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"Some people find it difficult to communicate in the written word. If you like them you might find conversation flows in person.
We get that and understand it can be hard but we all have to make an effort right in that initial 'spark' stage? We'd be less inclined to meet people who didn't appear that interested in us over people where there is free flowing conversation? "
I get what you're saying.  |
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I find it quite hard to balance as I can be guilty of rambling a bit so that nothing can be lost in translation so I want to hold their attention while not boring them either. But it is frustrating when it's clear that all the effort is going one and the one sentence or one word responses is a massive red flag to just end things there. |
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Timing is pretty key for me...I don't want to be in deep heavy conversations when I've just finished work and trying to get my tea, between phoning my mum and going to bed.. so light, easy, breezy conversation is good for me |
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"With some people it is like pulling teeth. If I can't get a decent conversion going over text on here the likelihood of me wanting to meet them is probably slim. I feel like you can get a good idea if you're gonna have chemistry with someone from a conversation, and if it's not there over text I find it's unlikely to be there in person. "
Totally agree, we never want to find ourselves in a position where there's awkward silence! Fills us with dread! |
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Yes! It’s painful, I’ve all but given up to be honest.
We’ve found we prefer to meet people at a club first and then swap fab details to chat a bit first, that’s worked best for us as it cuts out a lot of the boring bits and you already know if you are interested. |
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"With some people it is like pulling teeth. If I can't get a decent conversion going over text on here the likelihood of me wanting to meet them is probably slim. I feel like you can get a good idea if you're gonna have chemistry with someone from a conversation, and if it's not there over text I find it's unlikely to be there in person.
Totally agree, we never want to find ourselves in a position where there's awkward silence! Fills us with dread!"
I'm quite picky about who I do meet (based off of the quality of the conversations on here) and thankfully I've only had one social where it was like that (which was unexpected as we chatted away over text but he was clearly very socially awkward in real life) I think I've been quite lucky but I do put it down to being selective with who I agree to meet and putting the effort in with conversation prior. |
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By *ripfillMan 4 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
I feel the same too perhaps I am trying too
hard to be jolly, articulate, nice , honest , then …. Nothing - the trail goes cold 🥶.in most cases
I don’t go for four letter words I don’t call ladies by derogatory terms it’s not in my nature
But face it, the competition on here to
Meet is very difficult - thank goodness I have met a couple of ladies I am now in regular contact with who are delightful
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We tend to ask open ended questions because we think it makes it easy for the other person to converse, if we get one word answers with no questions asked in return we assume lack of interest.
If someone messages us with questions and we give closed answers it's a sign that we're not interested. |
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"With some people it is like pulling teeth. If I can't get a decent conversion going over text on here the likelihood of me wanting to meet them is probably slim. I feel like you can get a good idea if you're gonna have chemistry with someone from a conversation, and if it's not there over text I find it's unlikely to be there in person.
Totally agree, we never want to find ourselves in a position where there's awkward silence! Fills us with dread!
I'm quite picky about who I do meet (based off of the quality of the conversations on here) and thankfully I've only had one social where it was like that (which was unexpected as we chatted away over text but he was clearly very socially awkward in real life) I think I've been quite lucky but I do put it down to being selective with who I agree to meet and putting the effort in with conversation prior. "
That's how we do things to be honest. If we're investing time on here, it has to be with people who want to take the time to get to know us. Even if the responses aren't quick, it's the quality of the response is what is key for us and more likely to make us want to meet! |
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I find non-reciprocal chat mildly frustrating and will interpret it as the other person no longer being interested - which is totally fine - but I need to know sooner rather than later so that we don't waste each other's time.
I'm not looking for missives but anything of substance and not something superficial just to keep the heartbeat of a dying conversation...which is almost tantamount to breadcrumbing.
If the conversation becomes open ended or passive then I usually veer towards ending the dialogue altogether. The most frustrating and common situation is when they have instigated the introduction and messaging, and insisted within their profile that they are looking to chat extensively and won't tolerate small talk. The amount of women who give lip service and fall foul of their own caveats fail to recognise the irony.
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"I find non-reciprocal chat mildly frustrating and will interpret it as the other person no longer being interested - which is totally fine - but I need to know sooner rather than later so that we don't waste each other's time.
I'm not looking for missives but anything of substance and not something superficial just to keep the heartbeat of a dying conversation...which is almost tantamount to breadcrumbing.
If the conversation becomes open ended or passive then I usually veer towards ending the dialogue altogether. The most frustrating and common situation is when they have instigated the introduction and messaging, and insisted within their profile that they are looking to chat extensively and won't tolerate small talk. The amount of women who give lip service and fall foul of their own caveats fail to recognise the irony.
"
If anyone can get a word in with you, I'd be pleasantly surprised. |
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"I used to open with random stuff like, Crows. Discuss? Some people found it funny.
Then someone told me to grow up, so I stopped
Ooh I could murder a conversation about crows  "
Underrated comment. |
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"I find non-reciprocal chat mildly frustrating and will interpret it as the other person no longer being interested - which is totally fine - but I need to know sooner rather than later so that we don't waste each other's time.
I'm not looking for missives but anything of substance and not something superficial just to keep the heartbeat of a dying conversation...which is almost tantamount to breadcrumbing.
If the conversation becomes open ended or passive then I usually veer towards ending the dialogue altogether. The most frustrating and common situation is when they have instigated the introduction and messaging, and insisted within their profile that they are looking to chat extensively and won't tolerate small talk. The amount of women who give lip service and fall foul of their own caveats fail to recognise the irony.
·
If anyone can get a word in with you, I'd be pleasantly surprised."
•
 |
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I’m pretty good at distinguishing between lack of interest and maybe just lack of confidence or someone undecided or wanting to go at their own style & pace.
Sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them, sometimes it’s just lack of chemistry. |
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