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Does Colour Matters
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"I don’t meet racist. IT’S MA PREFERENCE. " Yes sure I can understand | |||
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"I don’t even like the term coloured, when I was younger a lot of my friends were black and hated to be called coloured" We all have different understanding thou | |||
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"It probably doesn’t matter in a 1-2-1 setting, but it can matter in a social setting as you'd be dealing with family, friends, community, expectation etc. That sounds right as we all have a life outside fabs " | |||
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"Colour doesn’t matter to me but I appreciate people have their preferences . I would much prefer some one to not be into me because they aren’t into mixed race women than those who seek me out specifically for the colour of my skin as some kind of social experiment. I have seen men on here choose their colour preference quite often" It’s not very common for men to chose their colour preference though, but I do understand where you are coming from also. For me we all are here to have fun and to try something new you get me | |||
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"I'm colour 'agnostic'. I don’t do coloured men; I only bonk white women. I don't discriminate to procreate. 😉" You do discriminate because you "only bonk white women" | |||
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"When you go for your sexual health check, they do ask you, albeit indirectly, if you fuck people from Africa or similar territories. It’s a risk factor. But it’s generally impolite to ask someone where they’re from before you fuck them, so the simplest option is to avoid people with dark skin. It’s not racist, it’s just risk management." Very sensible. But also best avoid sex with people who may have had sex with people with "dark skin" and you not know, unless they fill in a questionnaire beforehand. Avoiding sex altogether is the only way to mitigate risk completely. | |||
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"Yes colour matters! I fucking hate Green Wine Gums. " Because of their colour or because of their taste ? | |||
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"I’m very attracted to olive skinned guys, I have no idea why it’s called olive skinned, " The colour of olive oil | |||
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"I'm colour 'agnostic'. I don’t do coloured men; I only bonk white women. I don't discriminate to procreate. 😉 · You do discriminate because you "only bonk white women"" • ...and you also don't know a tongue in cheek remark on a clearly absurd thread. 🙂 | |||
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"Yes colour matters! I fucking hate Green Wine Gums. Because of their colour or because of their taste ?" Both. Green ones look like bogeys | |||
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"Few things: men do have racial preferences. They may not be so clear on here but they do. Of course they do. And of course men are more likely to date outside their race in many cases but that doesn’t mean that men don’t have racial preferences. Also perhaps as a man on fab there’s less need to express it in your profile. You’re not going to receive as many messages. You’ll likely send more. So you can filter easily etc. idk. This is an interesting thing to discuss but it’ll ultimately circle back to very basic level ‘I’m simply not attracted to them’ and ‘you can’t force me to fuck anyone’. BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. " Hear hear, I love this reply ♥️ | |||
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"From my multiamory podcast yesterday encouraging us to ask this to ourselves: ‘Do my preferences exclude a whole group of people and if so, what assumptions or beliefs do I have about them and are they based in reality?’" I was going to say something along these lines but decided it was too early to get deep and meaningful. Sadly as humans we are easily led, and mainly not knowingly. Porn has fetishised race, porn websites will show you more of what it thinks you like, in any way as Facebook or other social media apps would. It can easily turn into an obsession. There is also a long history of stereotyping, which is sadly as prevalent today. Take Musks recent attacks on grooming gangs, there is an eagerness to identify the ethnicity which results in a stereotype. But are all white men serial killers because Bundy and Sutcliffe were white men. Are all middle aged white newsreaders up to no good, is every head teacher? The simple answer is no. So the same must be true of positive preferences drawn from small sample experience or observation. The real danger lies in expectations based on that bias. Example: I go on a night out and meet a lady wearing a nice black dress and heels. Turns out she is rather promiscuous and we go in to have an amazing night of debauched fun. Do I now expect any one wearing a similar outfit in future to be the same? Take it to further and me and M, M is petite gym fit and gorgeous. She has a predilection to be submissive and enjoys BDSM (I had never played like that before). Are all petite gym fit brunettes the same? | |||
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"When you go for your sexual health check, they do ask you, albeit indirectly, if you fuck people from Africa or similar territories. It’s a risk factor. But it’s generally impolite to ask someone where they’re from before you fuck them, so the simplest option is to avoid people with dark skin. It’s not racist, it’s just risk management." Most of the black and mixed race guys I know were born in London. Their heritage may be African but from a risk management perspective I am confident that most won't have been shagging their way round that continent | |||
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"Nowadays you are more likely to see the IOnly want BBC on most women's profiles " Most? | |||
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"Nowadays you are more likely to see the IOnly want BBC on most women's profiles · Most?" • I think he meant "moist". 😉 | |||
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" BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. " I don't think I've agreed with anything more than this paragraph and it's a view I've always held in relation to this topic. People are allowed to get away with saying "it's just a preference" to shut any conversation around any unknown or known biases they have towards a certain race and it comes across as suspiciously defensive. | |||
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"I don’t even like the term coloured, when I was younger a lot of my friends were black and hated to be called coloured" I can't keep up... I watched something contemporary on TV the other day and they used the term "people of colour", then another referred to "black". An Asian friend of mine refers to himself and others as "brown people"... I would prefer it that everyone stop being triggered and if you prefer a different term tell people, as has always been the way with names. My Dad would always correct anyone that used his "Sunday" name and it never triggered anyone. People also regularly ask me what I prefer... Life was so much easier before people took offence over the slightest thing... Now, can anyone give me a hand to get off this soap box. It appears to have gotten a little high. | |||
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"I don’t even like the term coloured, when I was younger a lot of my friends were black and hated to be called coloured I can't keep up... I watched something contemporary on TV the other day and they used the term "people of colour", then another referred to "black". An Asian friend of mine refers to himself and others as "brown people"... I would prefer it that everyone stop being triggered and if you prefer a different term tell people, as has always been the way with names. My Dad would always correct anyone that used his "Sunday" name and it never triggered anyone. People also regularly ask me what I prefer... Life was so much easier before people took offence over the slightest thing... Now, can anyone give me a hand to get off this soap box. It appears to have gotten a little high." People have always taken offence? How do you think civil rights acts and race relations acts became law? 
You just live in a world in which more people are willing to call you out and you don’t like it.  | |||
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"Honestly this idea that being offended is new and exclusive to the modern day is hilarious to me. People have always been offended by things. "It's a convenient way to shut down a discussion though. | |||
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"To be fair, it's all just personal preference, really. It's not racist, if they're not attracted to them. Same as I'm not attracted to men, but that's doesn't make me sexist. Some people don't like overweight, some don't like skinny, short, tall and so on. I don't see it as discrimination, if it's a personal preference. I think there is too much emphasis on "You must like everything equally" and the whole "If you're not with us, you're against us" in recent years. It's okay to not like something, so long as you're not an arsehole about it. I'm more bothered by the phrase "I don't do..." because it sounds disrespectful. "I'm not attracted to people who are..." is more acceptable and sounds more polite. I must also add that skin colour doesn't bother me whatsoever, before I end up being lynched and strung up. 😂 My ex-girlfriend was from the Philippines and I've spoken to various people from different countries and cultures. But yeah, it's okay to say who you don't want to meet. Just be polite in how you say it." I disagree. Discounting *everyone* on the basis of colour alone IS racist. I have a strong preference for tall guys but some of my best encounters have been with guys who don't meet my height preference. Yes there are physical characteristics that we all prefer - and for that reason there are people from certain parts of the world that I am less likely to find physically attractive - but I wouldn't rule out everyone from that part of the world on that basis. I find people attractive for reasons that have nothing to do with the colour of their skin. | |||
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" BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. I don't think I've agreed with anything more than this paragraph and it's a view I've always held in relation to this topic. People are allowed to get away with saying "it's just a preference" to shut any conversation around any unknown or known biases they have towards a certain race and it comes across as suspiciously defensive." So what you are saying is that unless someone can provide evidence to refute any known bias they may have, regarding said preference, then any such preference is 'suspicious'. It gets worse when you say unknown prejudices, how the hell can you argue about them if they are 'unknown', surely that's impossible and a ridiculous requirement to establish the validity of a preference. Also why are you calling out 'positive preferences'. In this case the issue of ethnicity and sex on this site. I'm going to look at the linear preference from white to poc. Surely that's a 'positive preference' given the numbers involved. If you consider Fab to be a representation of society as a whole, then there should be around 18% users who are poc, the rest being white 82%. So when I say 'positive preference' I do so because, in this specific instance', it grants a mathematical advantage to a certain group and is 'positive' to that group because they are achieving their ultimate aim from being on the site, having a great time with someone who wants to have a great time with them. If there was a 'negative' to these preferences, so preferences that state they did not want to meet certain groups then their might be some bias in that but not always, look at preferences for gay and hetero sex to see that. So if a preference benefits certain individuals why the need to try and highlight them as being 'suspicious' and nefarious. I'm not saying that bias doesn't inform our life choices. That's why people who don't know, or have much contact with other groups of people may chose to avoid them when they see them, cross the street etc. And that's a negative, I can see why a group would be upset by this and feel alienated. But I cannot see how this applies in positive situations. This is where charity, compassion and love live, in these cases I don't think they should be criticised or thought of as 'suspicious' and if they are then that's probably the unconsci@us bias of the cynical individual trying to find a way to a way to 'demonise' positivity. Also I've noticed that this issue seems to cause more comments like this when it's white woman expressing a 'preference', cannot comment on woman of other races as I've not seen any such threads. But this is almost wholly ignored when black guys are stating their preferences on threads they start. There was one such thread started yesterday, with the OP of BBC Sluts Who Like to Obey, on the Swinging Thread. About half a dozen guys expressing their preferences for woman looking to meet BBCs, to be slutty and to obey. Can anyone explain why nobody mentioned their 'preference' choices and the bias which may be behind their choices? Is it down to a misogynist attitude, guys can say what they want thing or is it a courage thing, you can challenge woman but are not brave enough to challenge a group of guys? Now I think that's a question that needs answering other than the reasons certain people choose to be positive towards other groups. But none of it matters if you are nice, respectful and just have fun with whoever you want. Mrs x | |||
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"When you go for your sexual health check, they do ask you, albeit indirectly, if you fuck people from Africa or similar territories. It’s a risk factor. But it’s generally impolite to ask someone where they’re from before you fuck them, so the simplest option is to avoid people with dark skin. It’s not racist, it’s just risk management. Very sensible. But also best avoid sex with people who may have had sex with people with "dark skin" and you not know, unless they fill in a questionnaire beforehand. Avoiding sex altogether is the only way to mitigate risk completely." I'm gonna be handing out a questionnaire beforehand from now on. Seems the safest option. Question 1 - are you a tosspot? Question 2 - Mr. Yaxley-Lennon - discuss in no more than 150 words [Insert branching dependent on response to Q2] | |||
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"It matters as far as I won’t fetishise someone based on their skin colour and do not wish to be fetishised in return for the same reason. I don’t like it, and things like race play make my skin crawl. Messages asking if I like bbc get deleted because I’m more interested in the person than the size or colour or their cock. " Only colour I've fabtised about is a certain red tiefling. 
But that's more the personality.  | |||
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" BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. I don't think I've agreed with anything more than this paragraph and it's a view I've always held in relation to this topic. People are allowed to get away with saying "it's just a preference" to shut any conversation around any unknown or known biases they have towards a certain race and it comes across as suspiciously defensive. So what you are saying is … Mrs x" there’s a lot here. And I disagree with nearly all of it. Maybe all of it actually. Something being racist is still racist whether it means I can have sex out of it or not. Preference based on racist myths is still racist. And Joe is right, people are strangely defensive on these topics. They are always afraid to interrogate where preferences come from. That’s all he was really saying. And he’s right. People are extraordinarily defensive about their preferences being in any way attached to something like racism. They’re more afraid of the label than they are of learning. Anyway- I didn’t see the thread from yesterday you’re on about. I think it is pretty obvious that I and anyone else that has complained about fetishisation wouldn’t like that thread, but using threads that come up in a different section of the forum as a measure of some kind of hierarchy on the topic is disingenuous and it’s not really the best. I imagine if that was posted in the lounge it wouldn’t have gone down well at all. But I guess we will never know, because people know better than to post that in here.  | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference " It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. | |||
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"Seems to fall into two camps here You're entitled to your preferences... No everything is racist! 😂😂 Good old Fab...personally I don't care what colour someone is as long as their sandwich making skills are top notch!! 🥪 " Yes. That’s what you should take away from this thread. 🧠 | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. " It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not " Agree | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism?" You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not " Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 " Is this any diferant to saying I don't like fat men, old men? We all like what we like it's not about race or anything apart from what each person wants. Should the person just say your not for me through? But only to receive more messages from that person. | |||
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"I’m looking to meet people not colours " So you would meet guys | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not " I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️ | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. " What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️" There's a few profiles where there keen on tattoos, or the viking look (with a beard) for example | |||
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"It matters as far as I won’t fetishise someone based on their skin colour and do not wish to be fetishised in return for the same reason. I don’t like it, and things like race play make my skin crawl. Messages asking if I like bbc get deleted because I’m more interested in the person than the size or colour or their cock. " This is part of what I was trying to say but badly 😂👍🏽 | |||
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"It matters as far as I won’t fetishise someone based on their skin colour and do not wish to be fetishised in return for the same reason. I don’t like it, and things like race play make my skin crawl. Messages asking if I like bbc get deleted because I’m more interested in the person than the size or colour or their cock. This is part of what I was trying to say but badly 😂👍🏽" See some other profiles state BBC only. It's a preference | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️" I'm 56 dose that mean your profile is agest as you don't want people over 45 what if there 46 but look young for there age. Very agest | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist" No she wouldn’t. Nobody in this thread is telling people to meet anyone they’re not attracted to. Also I will note- I have never ever in my 27 years of life seen a white person say ‘I will not meet another white person because I had a traumatic experience with one’. Again it goes back to- ‘are my assumptions about them (the racial group I don’t find attractive) based in reality?’ I think if someone has trauma that’s informing their decision, that is an entirely different conversation. One that should be had and considered in relation to things like race, but it is a conversation that probably requires a different space to this. | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️" I have seen phrases like no beards or no hairy men. As well as people actively seeking bearded hairy men. | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not " Sorry what now? You are only racist if you are abusive??  | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference " 
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world?  | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist" It almost never happens in reverse though. If a white woman has past trauma with white men, it's extremely unlikely that she will refuse to meet white men, but continue to meet men of other ethnicity. There are plenty of abusive white men, yet I've never once seen "I won't meet white men due to past trauma" I have seen far more than I'd like to have seen it said about black men. Both can be abusive, yet the generalisation tends to be about black men. Why? | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️ I'm 56 dose that mean your profile is agest as you don't want people over 45 what if there 46 but look young for there age. Very agest " I - nvm | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️" To be fair there are plenty that state that. As there are that proudly state no beards. I don't agree beards is the same as skin colour, but the profiles that proudly state it do exist and are plenty. | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world? "When it comes to sex, look for people with similar or preferential sexual traights the same as every other person on her. | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world? "Question. Profiles that state black guys only. Do you consider those racist too? | |||
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"Replying to the above, I'm not really sure what I can say on the first couple of paragraphs because the rambling is unreal and I can't make heads of tails of it of what you're trying to say 🤷♂️ I can't speak for others, but if I did see it the other way, I would absolutely call it out there as well, but I suppose the Swinger's Chat is more "open" to those sorts of fetishes which is why I don't post on there. Also, I reckon that because black men are the ones being fetishised, I feel like I don't have the right to tell them that it's wrong if they feel they can get ahead on Fab through being the object of someone's desires because of their skin colour. I don't agree with it, but I'm not in a position to tell them that they should think higher of themselves than that." As for my rambling in the first two paragraphs. I'll try and simplify it for you. My first paragraph is dealing with your suspicions about the bias behind a preference. A suspicion isn't knowing something, it's not a fact, it's just your thoughts and beliefs. For example if you choose just to meet woman, I could 'suspect' you are homophonic. That wouldn't mean you are, it just means I'm cynical about your preferences in just choosing woman only. Without knowing your reasoning I have no empirical way of ascertaining if you are homophobic or not. So I more than likely will come to an incorrect assessment of your thoughts towards gay men, because I don't know, I just have a suspicion or hunch.Just for clarity I believe you have a freedom to state your preferences on your profile just like anyone else and this should be free from assumption from anyone.You seem to have exercised this right and you are correct to do so. You then mention 'unknown' bias and this compounds that fact that you know even less about why any chooses what they do. You don't know about any bias you just have a suspicion, but in this case you are basing this on an 'unknown' bias, the word 'unknown' means you cannot possibly discuss this, it's 'unknown" I hope this clarifies this situation, regarding my 'rambling'. You know nothing about what underlines anyone's decision making, no facts, evidence or the like, other than having suspicions, or hunches. As for the rest of your post you seem to be saying you would call out such posts by guys but for a couple of reasons. You don't post in the 'Swingers Thread' and think it's a more liberal place and it's more open to these fetishes. So could you clarify something for me, are you saying you don't feel strongly enough about this issue to not say something, just because of its location? So it's OK to post things you don't agree with so long as its not in the Lounge? I'll use your phrase because I cannot make 'head or tails' of why the location of something you dont agree with would make any difference. Something you disagree with doesnt become more agreeable because its posted somewhere you dont read. Maybe it's because as you said you feel you cannot do this... 'Also, I reckon that because black men are the ones being fetishised'. That is what you said but again it's a heads and tails thing. In the instance I gave you, it's Black guys starting a thread, which if I use your logic they are the ones fetishising certain woman, as per the title BBC Sluts looking to Obey'. They are asking for something, stating their preference, so, according to your suspicions, they must be doing so because of some sort of bias. It's not the woman this time it's the guys. So this is a case of it being the other way around and as you said... "but if I did see it the other way, I would absolutely call it out there as well', why haven't you? You even said... [You] would absolutely call it out there as well', there as well seems to indicate you'd do it not just in the Lounge and 'absolutely' doesn't give you much leeway on whether you would or wouldn't do it, with it being absolute and all. So hope I haven't 'rambled' on too much this time. I hope you can make 'heads or tails' of it. I'm sure you'll let me know and look forward to you following up this discourse with the guys in the Swinging Lounge for their failings in stating their preferences. Mrs x | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world?
Question. Profiles that state black guys only. Do you consider those racist too?"I honestly think it is worth them also exploring where their preferences come from and why they are excluding other groups of people yes. If those ideas are rooted in racism, well then yes that would make it racist wouldn’t it? I want you to know, I am encouraging people to acknowledge that our assumptions about entire racial groups that allow us to rule them out of attraction are not assumptions that we are born with. They often come from things. | |||
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"Interesting thought: These posts about racism are Always about profiles that say no black guys, yet never seen one claiming racism about black guys only. Maybe it's more about society prospective?" Come along to more of these. You’ll find that I don’t like fetishisation either x | |||
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"Interesting thought: These posts about racism are Always about profiles that say no black guys, yet never seen one claiming racism about black guys only. Maybe it's more about society prospective?" There are plenty of people in multiple threads over the years that have stated they don't agree with either. Both the exclusion and the fetishisation of an entire ethnic group. | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world?
Question. Profiles that state black guys only. Do you consider those racist too?"imagine how the black bmw m4 comp feels when you drive the white one off the forecourt 🤦 | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world?
Question. Profiles that state black guys only. Do you consider those racist too?imagine how the black bmw m4 comp feels when you drive the white one off the forecourt 🤦"I prefer Yasmarina blue  | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist It almost never happens in reverse though. If a white woman has past trauma with white men, it's extremely unlikely that she will refuse to meet white men, but continue to meet men of other ethnicity. There are plenty of abusive white men, yet I've never once seen "I won't meet white men due to past trauma" I have seen far more than I'd like to have seen it said about black men. Both can be abusive, yet the generalisation tends to be about black men. Why? " How do you know "it almost never happens in reverse" - are you a woman who has had this happen to you? As has been said on this thread more than once, there are many profiles that state "black guys only". How do you know that these aren't women who have suffered abuse from another ethnicity, including white, but are afraid to say it in case they're accused of racism? Shutting them down and refusing to listen to their side is how Rotherham happened. | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist It almost never happens in reverse though. If a white woman has past trauma with white men, it's extremely unlikely that she will refuse to meet white men, but continue to meet men of other ethnicity. There are plenty of abusive white men, yet I've never once seen "I won't meet white men due to past trauma" I have seen far more than I'd like to have seen it said about black men. Both can be abusive, yet the generalisation tends to be about black men. Why? How do you know "it almost never happens in reverse" - are you a woman who has had this happen to you? As has been said on this thread more than once, there are many profiles that state "black guys only". How do you know that these aren't women who have suffered abuse from another ethnicity, including white, but are afraid to say it in case they're accused of racism? Shutting them down and refusing to listen to their side is how Rotherham happened." colour is a description just like age weight height body type ect, a personel preference and if people take offence to what somebody prefers then they need to give their head a shake and get a grip its pathetic | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist It almost never happens in reverse though. If a white woman has past trauma with white men, it's extremely unlikely that she will refuse to meet white men, but continue to meet men of other ethnicity. There are plenty of abusive white men, yet I've never once seen "I won't meet white men due to past trauma" I have seen far more than I'd like to have seen it said about black men. Both can be abusive, yet the generalisation tends to be about black men. Why? " 🤷♀️ If my past traumas put me off white people, I'd only be engaging with people of colour. 🤦♀️ | |||
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"I do wonder, if a woman has what she believes to be a valid reason not to meet men of a particular ethnicity, would her voice ever be heard amidst the cacophonous accusations of racism? You mean due to a past incident of trauma? She'd probably just be classed as a racist It almost never happens in reverse though. If a white woman has past trauma with white men, it's extremely unlikely that she will refuse to meet white men, but continue to meet men of other ethnicity. There are plenty of abusive white men, yet I've never once seen "I won't meet white men due to past trauma" I have seen far more than I'd like to have seen it said about black men. Both can be abusive, yet the generalisation tends to be about black men. Why? How do you know "it almost never happens in reverse" - are you a woman who has had this happen to you? As has been said on this thread more than once, there are many profiles that state "black guys only". How do you know that these aren't women who have suffered abuse from another ethnicity, including white, but are afraid to say it in case they're accused of racism? Shutting them down and refusing to listen to their side is how Rotherham happened.colour is a description just like age weight height body type ect, a personel preference and if people take offence to what somebody prefers then they need to give their head a shake and get a grip its pathetic " It’s true. Race is just like weight and age they’re the same. | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 " That's completely the wrong way to go about it. I've met coloured men and, to be honest, found them to be more respectful and attentive than a lot of white guys. | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 That's completely the wrong way to go about it. I've met coloured men and, to be honest, found them to be more respectful and attentive than a lot of white guys." Just not the bearded ones eh Bonnie? 🤣 As a bearded man of colour, I take no offence because I have my own preferences that I expect to be respected, so I respect yours. | |||
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"As for my rambling in the first two paragraphs. I'll try and simplify it for you. My first paragraph is dealing with your suspicions about the bias behind a preference. A suspicion isn't knowing something, it's not a fact, it's just your thoughts and beliefs. For example if you choose just to meet woman, I could 'suspect' you are homophonic. That wouldn't mean you are, it just means I'm cynical about your preferences in just choosing woman only. Without knowing your reasoning I have no empirical way of ascertaining if you are homophobic or not. So I more than likely will come to an incorrect assessment of your thoughts towards gay men, because I don't know, I just have a suspicion or hunch.Just for clarity I believe you have a freedom to state your preferences on your profile just like anyone else and this should be free from assumption from anyone.You seem to have exercised this right and you are correct to do so. You then mention 'unknown' bias and this compounds that fact that you know even less about why any chooses what they do. You don't know about any bias you just have a suspicion, but in this case you are basing this on an 'unknown' bias, the word 'unknown' means you cannot possibly discuss this, it's 'unknown" I hope this clarifies this situation, regarding my 'rambling'. You know nothing about what underlines anyone's decision making, no facts, evidence or the like, other than having suspicions, or hunches. As for the rest of your post you seem to be saying you would call out such posts by guys but for a couple of reasons. You don't post in the 'Swingers Thread' and think it's a more liberal place and it's more open to these fetishes. So could you clarify something for me, are you saying you don't feel strongly enough about this issue to not say something, just because of its location? So it's OK to post things you don't agree with so long as its not in the Lounge? I'll use your phrase because I cannot make 'head or tails' of why the location of something you dont agree with would make any difference. Something you disagree with doesnt become more agreeable because its posted somewhere you dont read. Maybe it's because as you said you feel you cannot do this... 'Also, I reckon that because black men are the ones being fetishised'. That is what you said but again it's a heads and tails thing. In the instance I gave you, it's Black guys starting a thread, which if I use your logic they are the ones fetishising certain woman, as per the title BBC Sluts looking to Obey'. They are asking for something, stating their preference, so, according to your suspicions, they must be doing so because of some sort of bias. It's not the woman this time it's the guys. So this is a case of it being the other way around and as you said... "but if I did see it the other way, I would absolutely call it out there as well', why haven't you? You even said... [You] would absolutely call it out there as well', there as well seems to indicate you'd do it not just in the Lounge and 'absolutely' doesn't give you much leeway on whether you would or wouldn't do it, with it being absolute and all. So hope I haven't 'rambled' on too much this time. I hope you can make 'heads or tails' of it. I'm sure you'll let me know and look forward to you following up this discourse with the guys in the Swinging Lounge for their failings in stating their preferences. Mrs x " I wasn't talking about "unknown" biases, I wanted to use another word but the forum doesn't allow it, but it's the opposite of conscious. People have those biases but hide behind the word "preference" as they think they can get away with having those biases towards people of certain colours. I never said it was ok to create those threads, regardless of the topic and the subject of the races. I just stated that I didn't see it to call it out because I don't go in the Swinger's Chat. If I never go in there, why would I do so if no one else is having this discussion on that thread? And for the record, I don't agree with any sort of racial fetishisation whether it comes from white women, or black men. | |||
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" BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. I don't think I've agreed with anything more than this paragraph and it's a view I've always held in relation to this topic. People are allowed to get away with saying "it's just a preference" to shut any conversation around any unknown or known biases they have towards a certain race and it comes across as suspiciously defensive. So what you are saying is … Mrs x there’s a lot here. And I disagree with nearly all of it. Maybe all of it actually. Something being racist is still racist whether it means I can have sex out of it or not. Preference based on racist myths is still racist. And Joe is right, people are strangely defensive on these topics. They are always afraid to interrogate where preferences come from. That’s all he was really saying. And he’s right. People are extraordinarily defensive about their preferences being in any way attached to something like racism. They’re more afraid of the label than they are of learning. Anyway- I didn’t see the thread from yesterday you’re on about. I think it is pretty obvious that I and anyone else that has complained about fetishisation wouldn’t like that thread, but using threads that come up in a different section of the forum as a measure of some kind of hierarchy on the topic is disingenuous and it’s not really the best. I imagine if that was posted in the lounge it wouldn’t have gone down well at all. But I guess we will never know, because people know better than to post that in here. "Never say you are disingenuous, just saying that post was posted, it's still up and like I said not one comment about bias from anyone. So when I post it on here that this happens I'd have thought people would look at it and even if they didn't want to state their indignation on that thread then maybe they could just say that they've seen it and it exists. It's sometimes 'lonely' on here when you state a preference that elicits castigated when you can see the exact opposite go unchallenged. It's as if woman are still second class citizens where sex is regards. Also want to address racism. I know you've not accessed anyone of racism and will tell anyone of that, even though we don't agree all the time, on lots of topics. Doesn't mean you are not a lovely human being. So the main problem I have is being told what my motivations are for any preference I choose. I cannot see how being nice, respectful and doing "positive' things for a certain group. Take sex out of it. If I do anything positive for a different ethnic group other than my own are my chooses here based upon some bias I'm aware, or unaware of. Does this go as far as donating money for starving kids, in different parts of the world? What about volunteering in areas of global catastrophe? Say i was a Doctor would i be making choices that were not ethically based by volunteering to go serve in War torn countries other otherwise of the world? Or is it only a concern when it's about sex? My motivations are mine, in all aspects of my life and just because some sociology or psychological hypothesis states they are based on a particular bias I just don't think that's always true. These subjects DONT KNOW. They deal in percentages, probabilities, not facts, nothing definite no absolutes. So if that's true and they talk about outliers, those who don't conform to their findings, what does that mean if I'm an outlier? Yet people still make assumptions, please stop, not you Pickle , people in general. So rambling on, I think that that's the issue for me. People telling me I'm doing something because of x, y or z, without really knowing me. And again fuck all to do with sex and swinging. If you do something for minorities, anything that's positive then that's the aim of the majority. We are all human beings, most of us are lovely, I can be a bitch I'm fully aware of that but we should just show compassion, respect and yes, love to everyone. Mrs x | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not I'm not saying there aren't any, but I've never seen a profile proudly stating that a beard is a deal breaker or front of the queue. 🤷♀️ To be fair there are plenty that state that. As there are that proudly state no beards. I don't agree beards is the same as skin colour, but the profiles that proudly state it do exist and are plenty. " So I've heard. Every day is a learning day. Maybe not for everyone. | |||
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"As for my rambling in the first two paragraphs. I'll try and simplify it for you. My first paragraph is dealing with your suspicions about the bias behind a preference. A suspicion isn't knowing something, it's not a fact, it's just your thoughts and beliefs. For example if you choose just to meet woman, I could 'suspect' you are homophonic. That wouldn't mean you are, it just means I'm cynical about your preferences in just choosing woman only. Without knowing your reasoning I have no empirical way of ascertaining if you are homophobic or not. So I more than likely will come to an incorrect assessment of your thoughts towards gay men, because I don't know, I just have a suspicion or hunch.Just for clarity I believe you have a freedom to state your preferences on your profile just like anyone else and this should be free from assumption from anyone.You seem to have exercised this right and you are correct to do so. You then mention 'unknown' bias and this compounds that fact that you know even less about why any chooses what they do. You don't know about any bias you just have a suspicion, but in this case you are basing this on an 'unknown' bias, the word 'unknown' means you cannot possibly discuss this, it's 'unknown" I hope this clarifies this situation, regarding my 'rambling'. You know nothing about what underlines anyone's decision making, no facts, evidence or the like, other than having suspicions, or hunches. As for the rest of your post you seem to be saying you would call out such posts by guys but for a couple of reasons. You don't post in the 'Swingers Thread' and think it's a more liberal place and it's more open to these fetishes. So could you clarify something for me, are you saying you don't feel strongly enough about this issue to not say something, just because of its location? So it's OK to post things you don't agree with so long as its not in the Lounge? I'll use your phrase because I cannot make 'head or tails' of why the location of something you dont agree with would make any difference. Something you disagree with doesnt become more agreeable because its posted somewhere you dont read. Maybe it's because as you said you feel you cannot do this... 'Also, I reckon that because black men are the ones being fetishised'. That is what you said but again it's a heads and tails thing. In the instance I gave you, it's Black guys starting a thread, which if I use your logic they are the ones fetishising certain woman, as per the title BBC Sluts looking to Obey'. They are asking for something, stating their preference, so, according to your suspicions, they must be doing so because of some sort of bias. It's not the woman this time it's the guys. So this is a case of it being the other way around and as you said... "but if I did see it the other way, I would absolutely call it out there as well', why haven't you? You even said... [You] would absolutely call it out there as well', there as well seems to indicate you'd do it not just in the Lounge and 'absolutely' doesn't give you much leeway on whether you would or wouldn't do it, with it being absolute and all. So hope I haven't 'rambled' on too much this time. I hope you can make 'heads or tails' of it. I'm sure you'll let me know and look forward to you following up this discourse with the guys in the Swinging Lounge for their failings in stating their preferences. Mrs x I wasn't talking about "unknown" biases, I wanted to use another word but the forum doesn't allow it, but it's the opposite oNot ef conscious. People have those biases but hide behind the word "preference" as they think they can get away with having those biases towards people of certain colours. I never said it was ok to create those threads, regardless of the topic and the subject of the races. I just stated that I didn't see it to call it out because I don't go in the Swinger's Chat. If I never go in there, why would I do so if no one else is having this discussion on that thread? And for the record, I don't agree with any sort of racial fetishisation whether it comes from white women, or black men." But you call it out on here and yet you don't on other threads. I'm not telling you what you should do but you seemed indignant that you would, yet haven't. Can you see how that reads? You could acknowledge that you've seen it to condemn it on here but..... You talk about bias from a sociological and psychological view, like those of Eberhardt, Dovidio etc al. Think the issue is not unconcious bias but unconcious prejudice. If you make a negative choice that you are not aware you are making then that's unconcious prejudice and as such is wrong. However unconcious bias are what we base decisions off in regards to everything and if the are positive choices then they are not wrong. I think that's the distinction. Mrs x | |||
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" BTW- nobody wants the outcome of these conversations to be that you’re forced to have sex with who you are not attracted to. It’s a pathetic way to shut down conversation and avoid engaging in where preferences may come from and why you may hold the feelings you do about groups of people. I don't think I've agreed with anything more than this paragraph and it's a view I've always held in relation to this topic. People are allowed to get away with saying "it's just a preference" to shut any conversation around any unknown or known biases they have towards a certain race and it comes across as suspiciously defensive. So what you are saying is … Mrs x there’s a lot here. And I disagree with nearly all of it. Maybe all of it actually. Something being racist is still racist whether it means I can have sex out of it or not. Preference based on racist myths is still racist. And Joe is right, people are strangely defensive on these topics. They are always afraid to interrogate where preferences come from. That’s all he was really saying. And he’s right. People are extraordinarily defensive about their preferences being in any way attached to something like racism. They’re more afraid of the label than they are of learning. Anyway- I didn’t see the thread from yesterday you’re on about. I think it is pretty obvious that I and anyone else that has complained about fetishisation wouldn’t like that thread, but using threads that come up in a different section of the forum as a measure of some kind of hierarchy on the topic is disingenuous and it’s not really the best. I imagine if that was posted in the lounge it wouldn’t have gone down well at all. But I guess we will never know, because people know better than to post that in here. Never say you are disingenuous, just saying that post was posted, it's still up and like I said not one comment about bias from anyone.
So when I post it on here that this happens I'd have thought people would look at it and even if they didn't want to state their indignation on that thread then maybe they could just say that they've seen it and it exists.
It's sometimes 'lonely' on here when you state a preference that elicits castigated when you can see the exact opposite go unchallenged. It's as if woman are still second class citizens where sex is regards.
Also want to address racism. I know you've not accessed anyone of racism and will tell anyone of that, even though we don't agree all the time, on lots of topics. Doesn't mean you are not a lovely human being.
So the main problem I have is being told what my motivations are for any preference I choose. I cannot see how being nice, respectful and doing "positive' things for a certain group.
Take sex out of it. If I do anything positive for a different ethnic group other than my own are my chooses here based upon some bias I'm aware, or unaware of.
Does this go as far as donating money for starving kids, in different parts of the world? What about volunteering in areas of global catastrophe? Say i was a Doctor would i be making choices that were not ethically based by volunteering to go serve in War torn countries other otherwise of the world?
Or is it only a concern when it's about sex?
My motivations are mine, in all aspects of my life and just because some sociology or psychological hypothesis states they are based on a particular bias I just don't think that's always true. These subjects DONT KNOW. They deal in percentages, probabilities, not facts, nothing definite no absolutes.
So if that's true and they talk about outliers, those who don't conform to their findings, what does that mean if I'm an outlier? Yet people still make assumptions, please stop, not you Pickle , people in general.
So rambling on, I think that that's the issue for me. People telling me I'm doing something because of x, y or z, without really knowing me.
And again fuck all to do with sex and swinging. If you do something for minorities, anything that's positive then that's the aim of the majority. We are all human beings, most of us are lovely, I can be a bitch I'm fully aware of that but we should just show compassion, respect and yes, love to everyone.
Mrs x"When I mention biases and psychology/Sociology I should have said unconcious prejudice not unconcious bias. Unconcious bias is used in all choices, unconcious prejudice is not, hope that helps, Mrs x | |||
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"Colour doesn’t matter to me but I appreciate people have their preferences . I would much prefer some one to not be into me because they aren’t into mixed race women than those who seek me out specifically for the colour of my skin as some kind of social experiment. I have seen men on here choose their colour preference quite often" I think women are the ones to have a colour preference more than men seeing how so many want black guys | |||
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"Colour doesn’t matter to me but I appreciate people have their preferences . I would much prefer some one to not be into me because they aren’t into mixed race women than those who seek me out specifically for the colour of my skin as some kind of social experiment. I have seen men on here choose their colour preference quite often I think women are the ones to have a colour preference more than men seeing how so many want black guys" I agree. These race-baiting threads always go the same way. I've looked at hundreds of male profiles and have never seen a man say "no women of colour". Other posters have said that they've seen them, but never once have they been able to prove it. Highly suspicious. This thread, like most of the others, just goes to show - white woman wants to meet only men of colour - preference. White woman doesn't want to meet men of colour - racist. It's becoming a fab tradition | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 " People deciding whether to, or whether not to meet someone because of their colour, is obviously something that happens. I accept it happens But I cannot see how the colour of a persons skin determines whether that person is going to be nice, adorable, loveable or alternatively not attractive to you! Weird !  | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 " Indifferent with regards colour, I either like you or don't. | |||
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"It’s definitely a touchy subject. My preference is black men, and my husbands preference is black woman. Only a preference, nothing more. We just find black people much more attractive. Only our opinion. We are certainly not racist, and it’s certainly not fetishing them either, it’s just who we prefer socialising and meeting with "Is it because of the contrast? | |||
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"Everything looks like a nail when you have a hammer. Everything looks like racism when you enjoy have race debates on the internet. It doesn't have to be. Not if everyone in a given situation is happy. Two people fucking and enjoying it don't really need to examine the roots of their attraction in the context of their unc*nscious bias leaning this way or that as a result of historical cultural influences. It's fun reading though. Mostly because the people doing the fucking are getting laid and couldn't care less what people debate about online." What colours the Hammer? 😂😂 | |||
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"Everything looks like a nail when you have a hammer. Everything looks like racism when you enjoy have race debates on the internet. It doesn't have to be. Not if everyone in a given situation is happy. Two people fucking and enjoying it don't really need to examine the roots of their attraction in the context of their unc*nscious bias leaning this way or that as a result of historical cultural influences. It's fun reading though. Mostly because the people doing the fucking are getting laid and couldn't care less what people debate about online." Who enjoys debating their existence or experience? Anyway, it’s great when it’s just the people having fun yay. But plenty of us don’t want to receive messages from these people or be in conversation and have to deal with ignorant messages or comments. The point of these conversations is that people recognise that people aren’t a monolith. You cannot be sure everyone will be ok with this shit. Even I have had these messages. So we can’t pretend that these people are living in a bubble where they only happily interact with others that share their world view. | |||
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"Interesting thought: These posts about racism are Always about profiles that say no black guys, yet never seen one claiming racism about black guys only. Maybe it's more about society prospective? Come along to more of these. You’ll find that I don’t like fetishisation either x" And that is your sexual preference, just as a woman's preference to only sleep with black men or not at all. There seems to be a lot of confusion between sexual preference and prejudice. If there's no pre judging, how can it be racism or anything else. | |||
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"Everything looks like a nail when you have a hammer. Everything looks like racism when you enjoy have race debates on the internet. It doesn't have to be. Not if everyone in a given situation is happy. Two people fucking and enjoying it don't really need to examine the roots of their attraction in the context of their unc*nscious bias leaning this way or that as a result of historical cultural influences. It's fun reading though. Mostly because the people doing the fucking are getting laid and couldn't care less what people debate about online. Who enjoys debating their existence or experience? Anyway, it’s great when it’s just the people having fun yay. But plenty of us don’t want to receive messages from these people or be in conversation and have to deal with ignorant messages or comments. The point of these conversations is that people recognise that people aren’t a monolith. You cannot be sure everyone will be ok with this shit. Even I have had these messages. So we can’t pretend that these people are living in a bubble where they only happily interact with others that share their world view. " Your classing a world view as a sexual preference. Someone who has black or Asian or whoever friends still has the right not to have a sexual preference for them. The 2 things are different | |||
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"Colour doesn’t matter to me but I appreciate people have their preferences . I would much prefer some one to not be into me because they aren’t into mixed race women than those who seek me out specifically for the colour of my skin as some kind of social experiment. I have seen men on here choose their colour preference quite often I think women are the ones to have a colour preference more than men seeing how so many want black guys" I agree, women and couples. Though I have seen with my own two eyes. Before I started posting more pics when I first started men would message and they didn’t realise I was mixed race, and when I told them they would disappear so that is why I include it in my profile now so they can scroll on by if I’m not what they want. | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on." Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪 | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on. Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪" That'll be you next with the amount of 🥪's you pack in after a shag! | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on. Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪 That'll be you next with the amount of 🥪's you pack in after a shag! " I'm sure I'd have just as much success if I was fat...works for the ladies...🥪 | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on. Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪 That'll be you next with the amount of 🥪's you pack in after a shag! I'm sure I'd have just as much success if I was fat...works for the ladies...🥪" Could compare tit size i suppose 🤔 | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on. Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪 That'll be you next with the amount of 🥪's you pack in after a shag! I'm sure I'd have just as much success if I was fat...works for the ladies...🥪 Could compare tit size i suppose 🤔" Women love a nice pair of moobs don't they? | |||
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"I don't have a problem with it, as others have said its not racist, its a preference. No different to me having a preference for slim women (I'm talking size 8 or less). However, not wanting coloured in Blackburn is seriously going to restrict their choices. Exactly the same as my preference for slim women is extremely restrictive on a site that women can have their pick of guys on. Are you saying there's loads of Chubbsters on here? 😂😂😂 Outrageous....🥪 That'll be you next with the amount of 🥪's you pack in after a shag! I'm sure I'd have just as much success if I was fat...works for the ladies...🥪 Could compare tit size i suppose 🤔 Women love a nice pair of moobs don't they? " Do they? 🤔 | |||
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"People comparing weight, beards and skin colour 🤣😂🤣😂 " You honestly can't make this shit up right | |||
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"Depends what you're attracted to, no different to being bi or straight, it's a personal sexual preference It is entirely different to sexuality. And also, I’d like to add that racial preferences exist and impact people of all different sexualities. Not finding someone attractive because they’re not white is entirely different to your sexual orientation that you are born as.. It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not Omg you are born without sexuality. It is not made in society. It isn’t impacted by what you consume or anything from society. If you like men you simply like men. But what those men look like IS not something you are born with. It is entirely made in society by your life experiences and exposure. By beauty standards and by various other factors. What someone looks like is what they look like no matter what factor it is, and a person has the right to say sorry but I'm not attracted to that traight whether it's skin colour, beards, glasses, bald heads, whatever. Racism is a discrimination based on someone's race. Your not biased against anymore than someone with a beard, someone who's over 60, someone who has whatever physical feature. If you're abused in any way then yes by all means scream racism. Until then you can't accuse someone of racism because of a personal preference
How is anyone meant to maintain hope in this world?
Question. Profiles that state black guys only. Do you consider those racist too? I honestly think it is worth them also exploring where their preferences come from and why they are excluding other groups of people yes. If those ideas are rooted in racism, well then yes that would make it racist wouldn’t it?
I want you to know, I am encouraging people to acknowledge that our assumptions about entire racial groups that allow us to rule them out of attraction are not assumptions that we are born with. They often come from things. "This is whats confusing me a little. So if a white woman or couple say that they want to meet black guys that's racist, they certainly aren't excluding them as a group that they would meet, surely its an act of inclusivity? So in cases where there is a positive choice to meet particular groups and an absence of any evidence about the exclusion of any groups, who are they racist too? In the absence of this how can you state they are basing their decisions on some level of unconcious racism? How do you come to that conclusion, if a white couple state this as a preference? They are not racist towards black guys if they are asking to meet them. The woman is not racist towards white guys, she has chosen one as a life partner. So in absence of anything to the contrary, who is she being racist to? And in the absence of any mention towards stereotypes, how can you assert that this must be the case? If you suggest its unconcious bias, that all people do things without thinking about it, and that people are inherently racist due to society and the influence that plays on us all, you are minimising the effect the conscious self has on our behaviour. People do do things that they give very little rational thought to, but conversely people take conscious decision's to behave a certain way. And you don't seem to be giving people credit for this here. So how do you know people aren't looking for something on here from a conscious choice, you have no knowledge of but are prepared to say that certain preferences are not preferences because they are determined subconsciously and are racist in nature due to societal beliefs being embedded in one's conscious with no regard for people being able to make conscious decisions to the contrary. I did say I'm a little confused but by asking to meet a particular group, or sex, age, height whatever, cannot be exclusionary, unless there is an explict statement to this. It's just a suspicion until there's proof, evidence or facts of any exclusion. Mrs x | |||
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"Colour matters sometimes. Especially if you're playing connect four." This is very true | |||
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"Still weird to read, sorry I don’t do coloured men. Crazy that coloured men don’t pick and choose. Crazy world lol 😂 " would just avoid those people - my assumption is that we wouldn't have much common ground Of course I have plenty of unc*nscious bias of my own, that I try to address as I realise .....but I would hope that skin tone is not ever a factor in any part of my fab or non-fab life | |||
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"This whole thread makes me feel gross. Mostly because I have come across quite a lot of sexual racism. Men are attracted to me based on my pictures (let's leave my winning personality to the side for now). They express this interest to me. They find out that I am in fact not white. They are now no longer sexually attracted to me. This is not preference. The attraction is there initially but changes only because of the added information about my ethnicity. " Yeah, all of this. I once had a guy actually recoil in disgust when he saw me at the pub we’d agreed to meet. I decided to stay and go on with the farce of a drink just to see him suffer. eventually he made his excuses and left. Male half of a fairly popular couple at the time, about 3 years ago.
Now that I remember it, I feel sick to my stomach. 🤢🤢🤢 | |||
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"When you go for your sexual health check, they do ask you, albeit indirectly, if you fuck people from Africa or similar territories. It’s a risk factor. But it’s generally impolite to ask someone where they’re from before you fuck them, so the simplest option is to avoid people with dark skin. It’s not racist, it’s just risk management." That’s possibly one of the most miseducated and covertly racist posts I’ve ever read here. The continent of Africa has a very large white population, albeit a minority, but do the numbers and it’s still a very large gene pool. | |||
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"Should I be offended by profiles asking for a BBC? Don't be ridiculous. It's a preference. End of. " Unless they get offensive obviously which by the sounds of it some do. Maybe it's tarring everyone with the same brush after a bad experience once having a racist experience? | |||
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"If someone has a preference like that (where they don’t meet black guys) I block them I don’t care about their defence My block list is looooooong" Can I ask a question, you have your age settings set with a maximum of 62. Does that make you ageist? Other than maybe a few extra wrinkles and greyer hair there's no difference, yet people get called racist for not being sexually attracted to Black or Asian but not ageist. (Genuinely interested in your point of view). | |||
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"If someone has a preference like that (where they don’t meet black guys) I block them I don’t care about their defence My block list is looooooong Can I ask a question, you have your age settings set with a maximum of 62. Does that make you ageist? Other than maybe a few extra wrinkles and greyer hair there's no difference, yet people get called racist for not being sexually attracted to Black or Asian but not ageist. (Genuinely interested in your point of view)." Ageist possibly I’m not suggesting they’re ‘racist’ I’m not going to waste my time wanting to know what it is about a particular race that’s not attractive. The age thing is flexible (apart from the lower age limit) depending on attraction. Here’s something I bet you’ve not considered… I bet every black guy has heard that “I don’t go with black guys as I had an experience once with this one Black/Asian guy and…” Now what would you call that? I have never heard anyone say I had a bad experience with a 52 year old that’s why ALL 52 Year old women are off my list. But ONE BAD experience with one black guy and ALL BLACK guy/women are somehow are an automatic no. | |||
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" It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not " At this point I’d suggest that you take the time to understand exactly what racism is and how it can manifest itself in “unc0nsc10us bias”. Not all acts of racism manifests itself in directly abusive action. I have a beard and to further enhance my sex appeal am bald. I cleverly disguise the latter by shaving my head. If either of these features were an issue for a potential meet I could shave my beard, get a hair transplant or whatever. No amount of subbed sessions will turn my skin black though, with a tangy shade of red being the best / worst outcome. I understand why some ladies wish to try a big cock. That part is clear. As to the colour of said cock, I don’t see why that would matter. Perhaps the only reason is fetishisation? I’ve been with ladies of different races and colours. There was an attraction to all of them, because of the person rather than their race. There are a lot of races in humanity, but not enough humanity in the races. | |||
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"If someone has a preference like that (where they don’t meet black guys) I block them I don’t care about their defence My block list is looooooong Can I ask a question, you have your age settings set with a maximum of 62. Does that make you ageist? Other than maybe a few extra wrinkles and greyer hair there's no difference, yet people get called racist for not being sexually attracted to Black or Asian but not ageist. (Genuinely interested in your point of view). Ageist possibly I’m not suggesting they’re ‘racist’ I’m not going to waste my time wanting to know what it is about a particular race that’s not attractive. The age thing is flexible (apart from the lower age limit) depending on attraction. Here’s something I bet you’ve not considered… I bet every black guy has heard that “I don’t go with black guys as I had an experience once with this one Black/Asian guy and…” Now what would you call that? I have never heard anyone say I had a bad experience with a 52 year old that’s why ALL 52 Year old women are off my list. But ONE BAD experience with one black guy and ALL BLACK guy/women are somehow are an automatic no. " Your probably right in what you're saying in that people generalise when it comes to a traumatic event, but it's not just isolated to race, I know a woman who smells a particular aftershave and she panicks and runs. My wife had a bad meet with someone younger therefore she won't meet anyone below 26 which is similar to what you were saying above. Everyone has different reasons for their sexual preferences. | |||
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" It's not different at all. If someone isn't attracted to people who have a beard for example are they beardist because they won't fuck them. It's a sexual preference that everyone is entitled to. If they were being abusive in any way about it then that would be racist. Sorry you feel that way, that you feel it's racist. But it's really not At this point I’d suggest that you take the time to understand exactly what racism is and how it can manifest itself in “unc0nsc10us bias”. Not all acts of racism manifests itself in directly abusive action. I have a beard and to further enhance my sex appeal am bald. I cleverly disguise the latter by shaving my head. If either of these features were an issue for a potential meet I could shave my beard, get a hair transplant or whatever. No amount of subbed sessions will turn my skin black though, with a tangy shade of red being the best / worst outcome. I understand why some ladies wish to try a big cock. That part is clear. As to the colour of said cock, I don’t see why that would matter. Perhaps the only reason is fetishisation? I’ve been with ladies of different races and colours. There was an attraction to all of them, because of the person rather than their race. There are a lot of races in humanity, but not enough humanity in the races." Why does a sexual preference have to be anything other than a sexual preference when it comes to race yet accepted about any other sexual preference for example age. | |||
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"It is not racist to only want to meet people of a certain colour/race but it would suggest fetishisation of that demographic. An all together more troubling reason would be that they see that demographic in a certain way because of stereotypical views held by themselves. I would recommend anyone reading this thread and who wants to enlighten themselves picks up a book called “Everyone versus racism” I always felt that I was quite well informed on subject having grown up in a multicultural area (not Norwich) and having friends of many faiths and race. But I hadn’t realised quite how endemic the problem of stereotyping runs through our establishments. I also hadn’t considered some of the things proposed by the author as problematic until I read them and reconsidered. Even something as simple as naming of colours. Who chose black and white, neither are truly descriptively accurate, as a friend pointed out to me when I used the term coloured (learned from parents) in school when I was about 11. “Coloured!?!?!? You are coloured, blue when it’s cold, brown when you’ve been in sun, red if you’ve been in in even longer or embarrassed, it is you who are coloured. I’m always black”. The author of the book goes a little further and suggests that black and white were chosen by the “white” man, the connotations of black = bad and white = good were already seen deep in literature and every day use…white witch v black witch, blackballing someone, blackm**l, white is seen to be pure etc. And in establishments it starts early…..Black History Month….this is so often criticised in the media, but probably not for the right reasons, our mainly right wing press just believes it is unnecessary.. As the author points out, the month can end up reinforcing stereotypes of inequality, often the only subject covered is the sl*ve trade, as if this is the start and end of black history. What about stories of the great African Emperor Mansa Musa the richest man to have ever lived. When we watch Hollywood films with perhaps the exception of Black Panther how many are stories of overcoming the odds or fighting the oppressive/rich white man. While those stories have importance they allow for a lot of negative language to be portrayed on screen, they also allow for imagery that reinforces stereotypes. So what do I look for in a partner? Physical attraction and mental connection. Does skin tone play a part in that? It certainly didn’t when I was young and id like to think doesn’t now. Earlier someone compared stating preferences based on colour as being no different to saying yes or no chubbies/beards/pubes/skinnies/big cocks/small cocks/big tits/small tits etc. but that’s ridiculous. Those attributes can be held by any person of any demographic. The thing is some of this stuff is not knowingly done by people, there are people who wouldn’t consider themselves racist but subject to testing would probably reveal certain prejudices. And lastly I don’t think it is anyone’s fault that they think in certain ways, societal influences have been steeped in to us for generations, but you can challenge your thoughts and ideas, no matter how liberal you believe you are, there are always rooms for improvement." You are talking about bias, both knowing and unconcious. You are also referencing unconcious prejudice. You touch on conscious thought in your last sentence and that's very important. If you make a choice to want to meet a certain group you are neither racist or prejudice against that group. It cannot be prejudice because your choice is actually a benefit for them. Other choices you make MAY be both racist and prejudicial, if you exclude certain groups, but this is not guaranteed. You may not want to meet someone of a certain group or race but that could be for a variety of reasons but unless they specifically state its because of racial predjudice then you cannot just assume it's because of this. The same society that you have read about, that imbued civilisation with these biases is now imbedding, to those who believe in the hypothesis, the belief that all society has racial bias to some degree. And even if this is true that doesn't mean everyone acts on them. What about those that have, just like you suggest, made improvements and make conscious choice are you still going to judge them and their choices even though they are neither racial or prejudicial? So I believe if you make a conscious choice to meet a certain individual or group then that's not based on any historical racist bias, because even if it was you've chosen to ignore it and made a decision in direct opposition to it. As for fetishes, I'm not sure how much skin colour plays as a fetish. This is especially true when people use the term BBC, due to the fact that part of the title in this acronym relates to a serial organ and fetishes are concerned with things other than the sexual organs. Fetish is defined as... 'a form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs. "a man with a fetish for surgical masks"' So asking for a 'big cock' in this scenario would seem to exclude it from fetish. Meeting someone of a different race, with noteference to sexual organs, could easily fit in as a fetish. But it seems to cause strong emotions here when fetish applies to colour, much more so than race. It's seen by some as outrageous for a white woman to state a preference for meeting black guys. But it's not an issue if the same white woman says she just wants to meet Italian guys or just Irish guys because she loves their accent, craic etc. She is still making a choice for one group, still potentially, but not necessarily, excluding other groups. It satisfies the defi ition of fetish as long as she doesn't say she is looking for genitalia. So what's the difference? I think people see a hierarchy of fetish, and for whatever reason as soon as a difference in colour is involved this raises the issue of racism and prejudice despite the fact by choosing to meet a certain group cannot be prejudice, it's actually a mathematical benefit and could only be, and this is not fir certain either unless explicitly stated, prejudicial to all other groups who do not fulfill the requirements of the said woman, whether that accent, humour or colour. So is asking to see black guys any different to a black guy wanting to see blondes? Both could be seen as fetish both involve an element of colour? The counter argument regarding this is that the woman can choose to change hair colour, an option not available to a black guy. But what about other fetishes, age, height, foot size? These cannot be changed but are often asked for on here, are they further down the fetish hierarchy? I can understand if someone excludes a particular group, and is derogatory when doing so, will upset people, me included. However we're someone is stating a preference for one group, in the absence of anything derogatory, then I am going to believe it's just a personal preference. They've made a conscious choice about what they like, be in feet size, body shape, age, height, nationality, humour, colour whatever. Now there are some who say they are disgusted by those who have a colour fetish. They cannot understand how someone can find ALL guys of a certain colour attractive. Thats a ridiculous voewpoint, i wont shag guys just because they meet one thing im after. I need to find whoever I'm playing with attractive first and foremost. If they then fit in with my other preferences they elevate themselves up my wishlist, if not they fall down a place or two. I suspect this is similar for most people. So excluding groups because of a perceived stereotype, they are ALL thick, smelly, dirty, misogynistic, ugly etc is bad and should be called out. To choose a specific group is inclusive in nature, cannot be prejudicial or racist. It's actually beneficial to that particular group and should be seen for what it is, a positive choice, made consciously in the absence of bias or the overriding of any bias. Give credit to people for making positive choices when selecting who they want to play with, even if you are not one of the chosen few this time. Mrs x | |||
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I mean heights!
The only size that matters is the size of your ego; the only colour that matters is the colour of the shirt you say you are wearing when we meet for the first time! if you are colour blind please wear a pattern!
All that being said, I can see why some people aren't into or have been put off people of certain skin tones.
Being fetishised for your skin tone is not sexy for a lot of people so having that repeatedly happen from certain groups of people can be off putting! and also a lot of POC use their skin colour/tone as their only defining or important attribute which we all know as POC isn't true, speaking for us women at least, we have boobs too sometimes! oh and personalities... yeah that one... I want people with a little more substance than just their skin to enjoy my time with.
The number of single guys I have turned down because their only offering was "I'm black/asian" or "I'm a BWC/BBC" or similar. its a shame as some were bloody beautiful too!
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