FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you be in love with an FWB?
Can you be in love with an FWB?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP 5 weeks ago
|
I'm new to this FWB world and whilst I get that as they are "friends" with benefits there is love on some level between you but would you say that you are "in love" with your FWB(s)?
Or is that "in love" feeling and emotional connection reserved for "the one"? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm new to this FWB world and whilst I get that as they are "friends" with benefits there is love on some level between you but would you say that you are "in love" with your FWB(s)?
Or is that "in love" feeling and emotional connection reserved for "the one"?"
I care for my friends, even the ones I've fucked. But it's not on the same level as my partners.
I don't do that the one shit 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I love my fwb, it wasn't meant to happen but it did. He loves me too.
Love, however, is a spectrum and has so many different levels. My love for him doesn't even come close to the love I have for my husband and his love for me isn't anywhere near enough to overcome his need to be single.
When it ends it will hurt like hell but it will be short and then just be happy memories of spending some amazing time with someone I genuinely care for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes I fall a little bit in love with everyone. It doesn't need to be an issue, it can just be a lovely thing. "
That’s what I was going to say. (And this is exactly why we’ve always got along so very well.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andSxxCouple 5 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I love my fwb, it wasn't meant to happen but it did. He loves me too.
Love, however, is a spectrum and has so many different levels. My love for him doesn't even come close to the love I have for my husband and his love for me isn't anywhere near enough to overcome his need to be single.
When it ends it will hurt like hell but it will be short and then just be happy memories of spending some amazing time with someone I genuinely care for. "
You wrote this very nicely.🥰 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *apybarasCouple 5 weeks ago
High Lighthouse! |
"I think falling in love with your FWB sounds like a recipe for disaster."
Possibly, I guess, if the intention was for the relationship to never change.
Also if it only changes for one person.
But if both are open to evolution and keep communicating about where it might be leading, not necessarily a bad thing? Time for opt outs! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
100% yes you can. Happened to me a few years ago before fab. We both loved each other but it wasn’t enough to break my love for my family and wife. Sounds ironic as why would I cheat on my wife if I loved her so much? but it happened due to circumstances. Neither of us expected it. When the relationship ended it made it all the harder. We still speak, there is love there but there’s also a boundary set. She’s now married and I wish her a long happy life xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 5 weeks ago
|
"Yes you can.
If the connection is there it can happen.
Sometimes I fall a little bit in love with everyone.
It doesn't need to be an issue, it can just be a lovely thing. "
I tend to do the same, hence the question... I love the feeling of loving and being in love so I was just wondering if I might have to forego that with an FWB relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP 5 weeks ago
|
"I love my fwb, it wasn't meant to happen but it did. He loves me too.
Love, however, is a spectrum and has so many different levels. My love for him doesn't even come close to the love I have for my husband and his love for me isn't anywhere near enough to overcome his need to be single.
When it ends it will hurt like hell but it will be short and then just be happy memories of spending some amazing time with someone I genuinely care for. "
I agree about the spectrum, and I also accept that my idea of being in love doesn't mean the same as someone else's. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
|
For me, there is a rather large distinction between loving a person and being in love with them.
There are some I absolutely adore, but it's not the same as being in love.
I've found that if you don't keep a level head, your feelings in-check and make sure that you openly talk about how you feel with them, then it can indeed go very sideways.
Communication is paramount and any change in the dynamic needs to be addressed without hesitation. Because in the end, it's supposed to be a friendship above all else. If either person(s) begins to feel differently, then it could cause friction for everybody involved, whether they think it's under control or not.
I've had a lady (not from here, I might add) actively try to destroy my life, because she wouldn't talk about how she felt and became insanely jealous of me socialising with others. I also tried multiple times to talk it through. Thankfully nothing came of it and I think she got bored of me not responding to her nonsense, but it could have been far worse.
Continuous and open communication can save you a lot of trouble in the long-term, especially if you feel a shift.
But yes, you can have feelings. In fact, I find the act of sex a little weird without feeling a little *something* for the other. It's perfectly fine to love someone you're having sex with, considering how intimate it can be.
It also depends on those involved and what they want from the friendship. Some are happy to share as much as they can, others like to keep their distance. The good thing is, generally we are quite malleable when it comes to relationships of varying degrees.
I have people I chat and flirt with, people I care about a lot and support, people I see that could be around for a long time. Everyone is different and adjusting your own self is often key to making these things work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am in a romantic friendship love with them, I care very deeply for them and class them as family, we are best friends first and foremost. But we celebrate our friendship with sexual intimacy as a "benefit". If the sexual intimacy stopped, our feelings and friendship would still continue as they are 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm new to this FWB world and whilst I get that as they are "friends" with benefits there is love on some level between you but would you say that you are "in love" with your FWB(s)?
Or is that "in love" feeling and emotional connection reserved for "the one"?"
Yes , you just call it Poly ,🥪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I love some of my friends (it’s got nothing to do with whether I’m fucking them)but not sure I believe there’s really such a thing as being in love. Just a bunch of exaggerated emotions at the start.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The connection with a FWB is more about enjoying each other's company and the benefits that come with it, without crossing into the "in love" territory. It's a friendship with added intimacy, but the deeper "in love" feeling and emotional connection are something reserved for someone you see as "the one."
...But she could be the one FWB can go on into further progress as a couple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not really sure that it matters how we conceptualise love, when it happens, sometimes it can have a tendency to rewrite our rulebooks and be transformative.
For me that's part of the appeal of love. I don't like the idea of relationships fitting neatly into my preconceived ideas. It feels stifling to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t believe in "the one," so for me, love and connection aren’t limited to one type of relationship. But, yes, sometimes you can fall for an FWB, especially if there’s a strong bond and lots of emotional intimacy. If it’s mutual, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You can stay FWB's and continue living your separate lives while enjoying your time together, or you can decide to explore a more conventional relationship.
It only becomes a problem if you treat it as one, or if the feelings aren’t mutual. Even then, it doesn’t undo the lovely times you’ve had. Ending the arrangement doesn’t erase the connection or the memories you’ve made together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"From what I've observed it's almost inevitable. "
I wouldn't say so. I've had a few FWB arrangements over the years and falling in love has (almost) always never happened. I'm not an unusual case, either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
|
In most cases (not all) the feelings you get isn't actually a connection at all, it's an unhealthy attachment to someone that is giving you some of what you need. Unless you know them on a deeper level, you create an idea of them in your head but in reality you have no idea what they would be like as a partner. Once you remove them from your life you realise you don't actually miss them, you miss what they brought you in that moment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enk15Man 5 weeks ago
Evesham |
I make no distinction between love and “in love”
For me it’s a sliding scale, the more I spend enjoyable time with someone the further up the scale they go.
I love my platonic friends, I don’t see why friends I also have sex with would be any different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago
. |
Of course you can be. Potentially. Love doesn't have a specific meaning, there are so many different kinds of love. I've never fallen in love with a fwb. Only fallen in love a few times come to think of it, the last time was pre-Covid. Gosh.
Anyway, I don't believe in the one. Not for me. Not for quite a few people. I've seen so many people rush in to being in love, had people love me after hardly any time and they didn't love me. Just the idea. I think when I next fall in love it will be with someone who gives me that calm feeling, past the excited infatuation, lustful NRE. They might be a fwb, a partner, a TM. Who knows. ❤️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dc1Man 5 weeks ago
essex and all over the south |
I had a fwb for over a year. It all went wrong when she got to close to me. Wanted to turn it into an exclusive arangment of just us two. It wasnt for me so we split. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
