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Understanding women ….#1
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take? |
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If it’s my partner? Or a lover? Or daughter?
I’m getting a hot water bottle, their fave drink and some chocolate.
If it’s anyone else? I’m saying ‘ok’ and I’m leaving the room or carrying on whatever I was doing. |
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"If it’s my partner? Or a lover? Or daughter?
I’m getting a hot water bottle, their fave drink and some chocolate.
If it’s anyone else? I’m saying ‘ok’ and I’m leaving the room or carrying on whatever I was doing. "
👍 |
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"Get her favourite snack, throw it at her. Then run and hide.
My husband has done this, running off yelling “the demon has been fed”"
Agreed with Bella and Eva, with an addendum:
Once the demon has been fed (usually multiple times) and eventually emerges into your non-demon zone, simply say "I'm sorry my darling, it was all my fault, and I promise never to do it again."
No one in the universe has any idea what you're apologising for (the possible exception of your mere existence aside), so the promise is always fully adhered to. And you took the punch, right? Which allows the demon to feel fully exonerated from any culpability.
You're welcome x |
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"Get her favourite snack, throw it at her. Then run and hide.
My husband has done this, running off yelling “the demon has been fed”
Agreed with Bella and Eva, with an addendum:
Once the demon has been fed (usually multiple times) and eventually emerges into your non-demon zone, simply say "I'm sorry my darling, it was all my fault, and I promise never to do it again."
No one in the universe has any idea what you're apologising for (the possible exception of your mere existence aside), so the promise is always fully adhered to. And you took the punch, right? Which allows the demon to feel fully exonerated from any culpability.
You're welcome x"
Always apologise 🤷♀️ |
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"Point out that human existence is a conundrum whereby each of us exists, for as long as we live, within an overall condition of nothingness."
They love that one ✅️.
Makes them all soft and fluffy and cuddly 💓. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Get her favourite snack, throw it at her. Then run and hide."
I like it, two points.
I imagined a hand grenade disguised as chocolate and then hiding behind the sofa while she blew up , I’m sure that’s not what you meant…. |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Self Education.
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If it’s my partner? Or a lover? Or daughter?
I’m getting a hot water bottle, their fave drink and some chocolate.
"
Oh, that’s very nice. Kind of like pretending there is something wrong and doing the same… 2 points |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Thrust your cock in her mouth to shut her up. She'll thank you for it. "
Just when you thought you had learnt to understand women hey, you come along.
3 points for that , obviously if a man had said this, he would be stoned & outcast  |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Point out that human existence is a conundrum whereby each of us exists, for as long as we live, within an overall condition of nothingness."
I’m sure there’s an alternate reality somewhere where this works, possibly. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?
Self Education.
"
That sounds even harder than reading profiles, come on granny read the room, some things might work in theory … 0.5 points |
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She said she’s fine. NFA
If she’s fine then then that’s that.
If she’s not fine and tries to drink your blood later on because she said she was fine, but wasn’t fine, and you didnt pick up that the ‘im fine’ offered was in fact a trap, then theres no escaping it. Best of luck OP. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"Waiting for the Understanding Men thread....🤔. "
We all know that all you need to know is we're either hungry or horny so if you bring us a sandwich and it doesn't work then it's the other one... |
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By *ony MannMan 3 weeks ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura / Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover |
Check your dairy and make sure its not her birthday, your anniversary ( week, month or year), try to remember if it's been 5 years to the hour that you had your first:kiss, shag, walk along the beach, you shared her or she shared you.
What ever it was book a table, preferably where it happened. With luck you will not have to remember the anniversary of your first breakup. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"She said she’s fine. NFA
If she’s fine then then that’s that.
If she’s not fine and tries to drink your blood later on because she said she was fine, but wasn’t fine, and you didnt pick up that the ‘im fine’ offered was in fact a trap, then theres no escaping it. Best of luck OP. "
Yeah this makes so much sense, but if she wants to drink my blood, she should just ask, it would be a big fat yes  |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Butts don't bleed right? |
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By *ags73Man 3 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Oooft. Like there is a right answer 😆 |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Run a bath, chocolate bar and wine beside it… then pray you didn’t forget to put a washing on or leave you shoes in the wrong place |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?
Butts don't bleed right? "
Wrong. Men have period too you know, don’t believe everything that nasty Harry Potter lady says…. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"A patronising hug followed by the words “you do so much”  "
This is good. I like this one in fact, there could be a little app for your phone full of little phrases like ‘you do too much’ and ‘youre coping so well’ so that we don’t have to think of them ourselves. 2 points |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?
Run a bath, chocolate bar and wine beside it… then pray you didn’t forget to put a washing on or leave you shoes in the wrong place "
Fuck is this what drives the married men to FAB? How can there be a wrong place for shoes? Surely the correct place is where ever they come off your feet? |
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By *a LunaWoman 3 weeks ago
South Wales |
Tell she’s being moody and ask if she’s on the blob.
Then put your trainers on and see if you can give Usain Bolt a run for his money, whilst passing back a Snickers bar like a baton in the relay. |
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The elephant in the room (stay with me now) is that due to hormonal imbalances the lady is hungry, so what you do is as follows….
Suggest food, suggest somewhere super casual, whatever she is wearing plus coat shoes etc, a brave man could ask guess where we are going for food and then take her to wherever she said but this involves asking a hormonal female a question and unless you own a riot shield it’s not a gamble I’d take
The simple answer is maccies, buy her a box of twenty nuggets and don’t raise your eyebrow when she devours the whole box, just be quiet, leave it be, listen to what she has to say and if it’s nothing, then that’s fine
Do not tell her about your day, she doesn’t care, do not get your phone out and appear rude, just drink your drink and acknowledge where the exits are |
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Sing that epic banger of a song
Heavy flow, down below, metallic river of blood
Anger rising in the skies above, only hate, no love
Heavy flow, down below, metallic river of blood
Anger rising in the skies above, only hate, no love
Uterus contracting, giver of life, now produces pain
Someone barricade the gates of hell, before we go, before we go insane |
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A long appreciative hug, make a little nest for her on the sofa -drinks, snacks, chocolate and tissues... film on the tv.
Then go and QUIETLY do all the household jobs -cleaning, tidying, take the bins out, dishes washed and put away, washing in...make a delicious tea , feed the cat/kids. Everything.
Then tell her how much you love her, run her a bath and put hot water bottle in the bed 🥰😍 |
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The correct answer is:
Nothing, everything, supply chocolate, kittens and puppies.
Hug's or stay well clear.
Put dirty dancing on or so e sort of rom com or a violent revenge film where the leading lady Hunt's down and gets rid of a gang of MEN in the most gruesome possible way.
Offer foot rubs,do the housework but for the love of god make sure you do it how she wants it not how you think it should be done.
Wine if available
Failing that rum.
Don't go to the pub without her for god's sake don't ,it will be taken down and used as evidence against you at a later stage.
Remove all sharp knives from the immediate vicinity.
Be confident when approaching but avoid eye contact and make no sudden moves. |
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"Personally I always liked having the pain fucked out of me, but some men are a bit squeamish about that kind of thing.
 "
Yep! My ex used to wrestle with me so I could get out all my frustration. Normally ended in rough raw sex. That seemed to work wonders! |
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"The correct answer is:
Nothing, everything, supply chocolate, kittens and puppies.
Hug's or stay well clear.
Put dirty dancing on or so e sort of rom com or a violent revenge film where the leading lady Hunt's down and gets rid of a gang of MEN in the most gruesome possible way.
Offer foot rubs,do the housework but for the love of god make sure you do it how she wants it not how you think it should be done.
Wine if available
Failing that rum.
Don't go to the pub without her for god's sake don't ,it will be taken down and used as evidence against you at a later stage.
Remove all sharp knives from the immediate vicinity.
Be confident when approaching but avoid eye contact and make no sudden moves."
Oh and a hot water bottle |
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"Point out that human existence is a conundrum whereby each of us exists, for as long as we live, within an overall condition of nothingness.
They love that one ✅️.
Makes them all soft and fluffy and cuddly 💓. "
I thought that was Bold 3in1? |
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By *ixie888Woman 3 weeks ago
Newcastle under Lyme |
"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
First we need to get things straight, not just periods that contribute to mood swings. Menopause mood swings suck. It's an ongoing battle.
Secondly, do you mean she responds and says "nothing" or she just doesn't respond?
Actions? Well the old adage says they speak louder than words so I'd leave her well alone with the caveat of "talk to me when you're ready but I'll bring you a cuppa anyway."
But DON'T leave the used teabag in the sink/leave milk out of the fridge/break her favourite mug/ etc...
Tea is a great healer. Alongside time xx |
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Get then there slippers and house coat,so they can keep warm whilst standing at the sink doing the washing up after cooking dinner,and all the washibg,drying and ironing. Then let them sit down and watch you changing channels constantly on the tv,and telling them to get you a beer from the fridge.
Only joking xxx |
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"Get then there slippers and house coat,
House coat?!😳 If they are that old I’d just put them out to rest at the bottom of the garden "
My sons 24 yr old girlfriend has a house coat,think we used to call then bathrobes |
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This is like a "starter for 10" question on University Challenge. The real test comes when the periods start fucking up, menopause is the big quiz with no right answers, buckle up guys it's gonna be a bumpy ride haha, Mrs x |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Get then there slippers and house coat,
House coat?!😳 If they are that old I’d just put them out to rest at the bottom of the garden
My sons 24 yr old girlfriend has a house coat,think we used to call then bathrobes"
Are you sure she’s not really 124 ? Hairdressers can do wonders these days with a bit of filler |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 3 weeks ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"This is like a "starter for 10" question on University Challenge. The real test comes when the periods start fucking up, menopause is the big quiz with no right answers, buckle up guys it's gonna be a bumpy ride haha, Mrs x"
Cockalate fixes all these if the a new wonder drug containing Cock, Chocolate & Latte. |
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"This is like a "starter for 10" question on University Challenge. The real test comes when the periods start fucking up, menopause is the big quiz with no right answers, buckle up guys it's gonna be a bumpy ride haha, Mrs x"
Went through menopause 3 times with the wife,during various treatments,it really is a minefield crash helmets and body Armour are a must lol |
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"Get her favourite snack, throw it at her. Then run and hide.
My husband has done this, running off yelling “the demon has been fed”
Agreed with Bella and Eva, with an addendum:
Once the demon has been fed (usually multiple times) and eventually emerges into your non-demon zone, simply say "I'm sorry my darling, it was all my fault, and I promise never to do it again."
No one in the universe has any idea what you're apologising for (the possible exception of your mere existence aside), so the promise is always fully adhered to. And you took the punch, right? Which allows the demon to feel fully exonerated from any culpability.
You're welcome x
Always apologise 🤷♀️"
*Does not work on all women.
Apologising to me when you don't understand what's wrong or how or why to avoid it happening again then a hollow apology may result in it being bitten off 💜 |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Walk away, keep a safe distance and throw chocolate bars if she looks ready to emotional outburst. |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?
Butts don't bleed right? "
Depends on the size of the strap-on I'm using and whether I've forgotten the lube  |
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"Cook a nice meal, run a nice bath (candles and all the rest of it)
Then have the meal and think to yourself, "who was that random woman crying earlier?""
You know you've been added to the hive-mind hitlist now right?
Respect 👊. |
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"A little Monday quiz, there’s a super duper prize for the highest score, correct or funny answers
A woman just randomly bursts out crying whilst on her period , you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing. What actions should you take?"
Carry on mission accomplished  |
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