FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I’ve always wondered about that
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect " (For me) | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me)" (And me) 💜 | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. " I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) (And me) 💜" You ❤️ | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves " spreadsheets and rotas and might have to fill out a daily diary to tally up times | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. " My wife just came out with it one night. We talked it over for a short while and it just happened after that. Sadly, it’s now retracted. | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x" Yeah,I get there's probably loads of different answers. Met a couple once who were in there 30s and prior to attending clubs,had been each others only partners. Wondered how that chat started | |||
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"How, taking it even further than the last century/start of this one has done, what it means (across all permutations) not just for raising children in the scenario of "one main relationship, other relationships incorporated" to "what happens if I, as a bewombed human, have 4 different children with 4 different bepenised humans whom I fully adore?" And what happens if I, as the bepenised version of the human, have 4 different children with 4 bewombed humans whom I fully adore?" In other words, are we ready for a more communal parenting concept as this century matures? I'm not making any more kids, but I can fully recognise now that, in my 20s and 30s, why wouldn't I want to make babies with Mathide, Fatima, Liu, and Emily? They're amazing women. And co-parent all our children, somehow. So, how do/can our practical economics and culture change to accommodate ENM and parenting in the mainstream? " Personally, I'm not breeding. I'm happy to live separately from my partners and let them have their family units over there and I have my happy childless home over here. I know a few people who just got bigger houses and moved multiple parents into the same house. Which financially makes sense and means the siblings are raised together, but can come with a lot of its own issues as relationships evolve and change, and it can be difficult to see the relationship your loved one has with someone else when your own relationship with them is going through a rough patch. I've seen it work, and I've seen it explode spectacularly, same as it can with monogamous relationships 💜 | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves " I think time is overrated in terms of feeling valued. You both give what you have capacity for or you meet in the middle. Communication is what makes poly work imo. Communicating needs. Not expecting your partner to do exactly what you want just because you want it but talking about things and getting reassurance. If you need more time than your partner can give, sometimes things don’t work out. But that’s the same with all relationships. It also helps if you’re poly too. So you are perhaps more understanding of the fact your partner needs time with others and that doesn’t change anything about your relationship with them. They are separate things. Focusing on the fact that your partner loves you and values you and their relationships with others doesn’t change or impact that is a liberating thing. The best thing I read- don’t confuse someone’s free time with their availability. | |||
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"I can’t type or spell today " It's Sunday morning you is exxcuuzzed... | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves I think time is overrated in terms of feeling valued. You both give what you have capacity for or you meet in the middle. Communication is what makes poly work imo. Communicating needs. Not expecting your partner to do exactly what you want just because you want it but talking about things and getting reassurance. If you need more time than your partner can give, sometimes things don’t work out. But that’s the same with all relationships. It also helps if you’re poly too. So you are perhaps more understanding of the fact your partner needs time with others and that doesn’t change anything about your relationship with them. They are separate things. Focusing on the fact that your partner loves you and values you and their relationships with others doesn’t change or impact that is a liberating thing. The best thing I read- don’t confuse someone’s free time with their availability. " This is beautifully put. ❤️ | |||
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"This is beautifully put. ❤️" It's hard missing them though. | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves " It's like any area of life. I make time for what's important to me. Who is important to me. Communicate openly and honestly about how I'm feeling, what I need. And listen, truly hear what the other person is saying. Discuss things. Actual time together? For me, and I'm not sure if I'm weird, it's not the only way I feel like the relationship, I, have value. It's about intent, about giving people energy and effort. Receiving that back in equal measure. Say I've got two partners. One I nest with, one I don't. I don't see the other as often due to our busy lives but equally - it doesn't mean our relationship is lesser. We hold space for each other (hypothetically) and that's really important. If someone is feeling a bit meh? Communicate. A good poly relationship has that at its core. I'm not great at carving out downtime for myself, even before I realised I was poly. There are always things to do. People to see. Life. Work. I'm getting better at spending time just for me. On my own. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it" I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. | |||
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"This is beautifully put. ❤️ It's hard missing them though. " It is. I can’t even. I think I miss people far too much and worry it’s too intense. But I am who I am so it is what it is | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused." Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused." There's so many different flavours of poly. What you're talking about there is a throuple. And they're rare because it's hard to find three way attraction let alone three way love. It will often come with a whole load of couple privilege for the existing couple and take a shit ton of hard work and communication. | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me)" What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves " I only have one partner that has a primary nesting relationship, the rest are more fluid. I haven't seen that one in person since before Halloween, a combination of family, illness, work, and everything else has conspired to make it not so. But he makes sure to communicate and let me know I matter to him, and while it sucks that I miss him physically, I don't feel ignored or less than. Sometimes it just is what it is. And when life calms down some we'll be back to normal 💜 | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused." The nice guy below me has just explained it beautifully | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it" It's an ethnically non-monogamous relationship which can take so many forms. If it's not ENM? It's not poly. Sometimes Person A and B and C are all dating each other. Sometimes person A and B are dating, and person B is also dating person C. The common trope is the first one mentioned but that's quite rare - the triad set up. It's about the ability/potential to love more than one person. It's also an excuse to tell people frequently you're poly. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that" I can get that one person can love multiple people. Does that extend to all of that group feeling love for one other? That’s the bit I don’t get as that seems super hard. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that I can get that one person can love multiple people. Does that extend to all of that group feeling love for one other? That’s the bit I don’t get as that seems super hard." No. Relationships don’t have to be in a group. I have two partners. They don’t even know each other. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that" Oh right thank you,that's one of my beliefs,you can definitely fall in love with more then one person | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves I only have one partner that has a primary nesting relationship, the rest are more fluid. I haven't seen that one in person since before Halloween, a combination of family, illness, work, and everything else has conspired to make it not so. But he makes sure to communicate and let me know I matter to him, and while it sucks that I miss him physically, I don't feel ignored or less than. Sometimes it just is what it is. And when life calms down some we'll be back to normal 💜" my biggest worry about lack of time is that it changes feeling. I once met someone that said if she doesn’t see a partner for 8 weeks, they have a date to check that their relationship is still the same as it was or if it needs de escalation or anything like that. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that I can get that one person can love multiple people. Does that extend to all of that group feeling love for one other? That’s the bit I don’t get as that seems super hard." Not necessarily. I have my nesting partner (Beef) and my other partner. They're separate relationships although they're good friends and B actually helped my other partner move house recently ❤️🫠 My partner also has his own other partners. So time becomes the difficulty rather than love. | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused." Open relationships fall under ethical non monogamy, but I don't tend to think of it as poly unless people actually give a shit about the person rather than just their genitalia. My partners don't fuck my other partners. If that sort of connection did start to develop it would likely take me a lot of work to process that. But there's only one that's actually bi, the others are either straight or very heavily favouring of femmes so its not something I see being a likelihood. As it is they are mostly just aware of each other as important people to me. There are throuples and larger polycules where everyone is involved with everyone out there though 💜 | |||
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"How, taking it even further than the last century/start of this one has done, what it means (across all permutations) not just for raising children in the scenario of "one main relationship, other relationships incorporated" to "what happens if I, as a bewombed human, have 4 different children with 4 different bepenised humans whom I fully adore?" And what happens if I, as the bepenised version of the human, have 4 different children with 4 bewombed humans whom I fully adore?" In other words, are we ready for a more communal parenting concept as this century matures? I'm not making any more kids, but I can fully recognise now that, in my 20s and 30s, why wouldn't I want to make babies with Mathide, Fatima, Liu, and Emily? They're amazing women. And co-parent all our children, somehow. So, how do/can our practical economics and culture change to accommodate ENM and parenting in the mainstream? Personally, I'm not breeding. I'm happy to live separately from my partners and let them have their family units over there and I have my happy childless home over here. I know a few people who just got bigger houses and moved multiple parents into the same house. Which financially makes sense and means the siblings are raised together, but can come with a lot of its own issues as relationships evolve and change, and it can be difficult to see the relationship your loved one has with someone else when your own relationship with them is going through a rough patch. I've seen it work, and I've seen it explode spectacularly, same as it can with monogamous relationships 💜" Yup. I'd rather see the fundamental economics of home ownership/living change so that people didn't have to live under the same roof - we thrive in our own spaces, with people invited in rather than economics forcing the situation (and forcing the visibility of multiple lovers into everyone's daily gaze). It would also require a far broader communal parenting concept as well, outside of just the individual homes of the biological parents. That can give the children greater access to far more adult "guides" than just biological parenting can offer, as well as giving the adults time to be their own human rather than mostly defined as a parent. It would be a seismic shift, having consequential effects across pretty much everything. | |||
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"That you have to have a degree, or be an expert, to know how to be a 'brat'. Who knew " Do you? Isn’t it like many things here, everyone has their own take or does it differently? | |||
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"my biggest worry about lack of time is that it changes feeling. I once met someone that said if she doesn’t see a partner for 8 weeks, they have a date to check that their relationship is still the same as it was or if it needs de escalation or anything like that. " It might worry me with someone else to be honest. This one we've parted ways for literal years at a time and it's always always been that same electricity when we finally reconnect in person. I know that that one doesn't fade with time. I probably would worry if it happened with anyone else 💜 | |||
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"How, taking it even further than the last century/start of this one has done, what it means (across all permutations) not just for raising children in the scenario of "one main relationship, other relationships incorporated" to "what happens if I, as a bewombed human, have 4 different children with 4 different bepenised humans whom I fully adore?" And what happens if I, as the bepenised version of the human, have 4 different children with 4 bewombed humans whom I fully adore?" In other words, are we ready for a more communal parenting concept as this century matures? I'm not making any more kids, but I can fully recognise now that, in my 20s and 30s, why wouldn't I want to make babies with Mathide, Fatima, Liu, and Emily? They're amazing women. And co-parent all our children, somehow. So, how do/can our practical economics and culture change to accommodate ENM and parenting in the mainstream? Personally, I'm not breeding. I'm happy to live separately from my partners and let them have their family units over there and I have my happy childless home over here. I know a few people who just got bigger houses and moved multiple parents into the same house. Which financially makes sense and means the siblings are raised together, but can come with a lot of its own issues as relationships evolve and change, and it can be difficult to see the relationship your loved one has with someone else when your own relationship with them is going through a rough patch. I've seen it work, and I've seen it explode spectacularly, same as it can with monogamous relationships 💜 Yup. I'd rather see the fundamental economics of home ownership/living change so that people didn't have to live under the same roof - we thrive in our own spaces, with people invited in rather than economics forcing the situation (and forcing the visibility of multiple lovers into everyone's daily gaze). It would also require a far broader communal parenting concept as well, outside of just the individual homes of the biological parents. That can give the children greater access to far more adult "guides" than just biological parenting can offer, as well as giving the adults time to be their own human rather than mostly defined as a parent. It would be a seismic shift, having consequential effects across pretty much everything. " Ah Nicky. Best get on changing the world, I’m here for it ❤️ | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? " I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. | |||
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"my biggest worry about lack of time is that it changes feeling. I once met someone that said if she doesn’t see a partner for 8 weeks, they have a date to check that their relationship is still the same as it was or if it needs de escalation or anything like that. It might worry me with someone else to be honest. This one we've parted ways for literal years at a time and it's always always been that same electricity when we finally reconnect in person. I know that that one doesn't fade with time. I probably would worry if it happened with anyone else 💜" 😍❤️ | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves I only have one partner that has a primary nesting relationship, the rest are more fluid. I haven't seen that one in person since before Halloween, a combination of family, illness, work, and everything else has conspired to make it not so. But he makes sure to communicate and let me know I matter to him, and while it sucks that I miss him physically, I don't feel ignored or less than. Sometimes it just is what it is. And when life calms down some we'll be back to normal 💜" But do you view this person as a partner, or it this more of a FWB feeling? I don't really go for labels, but just trying to walk in your shoes and understand how I would feel in this scenario... maybe I'm applying too much meaning to poly | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. " How do you make sure you don't become polysaturated? You might think you have an infinite bandwidth for love but when coupled with daily life, headspace etc... how do you ensure that you're giving people what they deserve? And, as an aside, do you find being polyam and a self titled lover boy can put people off you? | |||
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"I guess my biggest exposure to it, is through the TV programme Sister Wives. As the guy added new 'wives' the existing ones accepted the additions, but you could see the pain it caused them in terms of relationship hierarchy changes, disgruntlement over emotional investment and quality time, missing significant events, challenges with supporting extended family requirements " Sounds like polygamy. But in poly, dynamics change when partners meet new partners that may be more convenient or they may end up nesting with or starting family with or just NRE. Best medicine is always communication. That’s the nature of the relationship style. If we all believe in it, it’s easier. Not easy. Easier. | |||
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"Yup. I'd rather see the fundamental economics of home ownership/living change so that people didn't have to live under the same roof - we thrive in our own spaces, with people invited in rather than economics forcing the situation (and forcing the visibility of multiple lovers into everyone's daily gaze). It would also require a far broader communal parenting concept as well, outside of just the individual homes of the biological parents. That can give the children greater access to far more adult "guides" than just biological parenting can offer, as well as giving the adults time to be their own human rather than mostly defined as a parent. It would be a seismic shift, having consequential effects across pretty much everything. " The thing is, it's never going to become the standard to have that setup. Yes, many people are monogamous by default because it's the way they were raised and long held beliefs etc. But many people simply are actually monogamous by nature. They want to have 'their person' to themselves. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as their person has the same sort of mindset. There are so many constellations of different relationship types and structures out there. There won't ever be a uniform system for it, because people have very different needs 💜 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘" For one we agree 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ god help me....it's poontang on standby...sorry I meant love 😂..🥪 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘" No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? | |||
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"But do you view this person as a partner, or it this more of a FWB feeling? I don't really go for labels, but just trying to walk in your shoes and understand how I would feel in this scenario... maybe I'm applying too much meaning to poly" I think of him as a partner. I care an awful lot for this person, and while our physical relationship may look more like an occasional fuck buddy thing at this particular point, it's everything else around it that makes it more than that 💜 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? " I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪 | |||
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"Ah Nicky. Best get on changing the world, I’m here for it ❤️" Should, for example, your country do its thing in the next 10/15, with NI doing its thing in consequence (potentially before...you both keep swapping the lead ), that will change England's "world" more than anything since the 1650s parliamentary wars and revolutions....it'll be nicely softened up for Nickyism . What could possibly go wrong Twisty? 😘💖 xxxx | |||
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"But do you view this person as a partner, or it this more of a FWB feeling? I don't really go for labels, but just trying to walk in your shoes and understand how I would feel in this scenario... maybe I'm applying too much meaning to poly I think of him as a partner. I care an awful lot for this person, and while our physical relationship may look more like an occasional fuck buddy thing at this particular point, it's everything else around it that makes it more than that 💜" Thank you ❤️ | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. How do you make sure you don't become polysaturated? You might think you have an infinite bandwidth for love but when coupled with daily life, headspace etc... how do you ensure that you're giving people what they deserve? And, as an aside, do you find being polyam and a self titled lover boy can put people off you?" I don’t have an infinite bandwidth for relationships. And that’s how I stop poly saturation. I, as an individual, need to engage in or seek relationships I have capacity for. Sometimes it catches you off guard but talking and being honest about what you have space for it’s important. It’s just life. Sometimes we don’t have the space for the type of relationships we want. You choose to let it go or to explore a different dynamic maybe. Maybe something more casual in terms of time. Maybe more of a comet situation. I dunno. But staying away from dating apps etc when you’re at capacity helps avoiding saturation. Also it probably does put people off. But what can I do? Not be myself? Nah. Charge it to the game and try and appreciate those that love me for it. | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. How do you make sure you don't become polysaturated? You might think you have an infinite bandwidth for love but when coupled with daily life, headspace etc... how do you ensure that you're giving people what they deserve? And, as an aside, do you find being polyam and a self titled lover boy can put people off you? I don’t have an infinite bandwidth for relationships. And that’s how I stop poly saturation. I, as an individual, need to engage in or seek relationships I have capacity for. Sometimes it catches you off guard but talking and being honest about what you have space for it’s important. It’s just life. Sometimes we don’t have the space for the type of relationships we want. You choose to let it go or to explore a different dynamic maybe. Maybe something more casual in terms of time. Maybe more of a comet situation. I dunno. But staying away from dating apps etc when you’re at capacity helps avoiding saturation. Also it probably does put people off. But what can I do? Not be myself? Nah. Charge it to the game and try and appreciate those that love me for it. " Have you tried Poly Unsaturated?...I heard it's healthier 🥪 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪" if you have the capacity to love more than one of them at the same time and are ok with them loving others at the same time, sure, maybe you are | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. How do you make sure you don't become polysaturated? You might think you have an infinite bandwidth for love but when coupled with daily life, headspace etc... how do you ensure that you're giving people what they deserve? And, as an aside, do you find being polyam and a self titled lover boy can put people off you? I don’t have an infinite bandwidth for relationships. And that’s how I stop poly saturation. I, as an individual, need to engage in or seek relationships I have capacity for. Sometimes it catches you off guard but talking and being honest about what you have space for it’s important. It’s just life. Sometimes we don’t have the space for the type of relationships we want. You choose to let it go or to explore a different dynamic maybe. Maybe something more casual in terms of time. Maybe more of a comet situation. I dunno. But staying away from dating apps etc when you’re at capacity helps avoiding saturation. Also it probably does put people off. But what can I do? Not be myself? Nah. Charge it to the game and try and appreciate those that love me for it. Have you tried Poly Unsaturated?...I heard it's healthier 🥪" nah. It’s a myth sold to you by capitalism. Like the idea that monogamy is best for you | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪" I really like how much you're trying in this thread. Good job. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪 if you have the capacity to love more than one of them at the same time and are ok with them loving others at the same time, sure, maybe you are" I think it will cause jealously...you'll always love one more than the other ...a bit with let's or your kids 🤷🏻♂️ 🥪 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? " Id say "love" is thrown around a little too easily as well. I'm sure some people are genuinely "poly", I think a lot just jump on the band wagon so to speak. And on here it seems the in thing to do is clutch on to someone that you get on with/have good sex with and make it into something more than just a good FB. But maybe that's just my cynical view of the world 🤷🏻♀️ | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 For one we agree 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ god help me....it's poontang on standby...sorry I meant love 😂..🥪" Your penis is safe for now. | |||
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"One thing I’ve always wondered about poly is why it’s so fucking perfect (For me) What is it about a poly set up that makes it perfect for you? I’m a certified lover boy. I have the capacity to love many at a time. And I think if I have many great loves out there, I want to meet and love and enjoy them. No love deserves to be ‘missed’. I think humans should be free to love as much as they can all the time. I think it allows me to be my entire self, rather than compromising parts of me for another person. How do you make sure you don't become polysaturated? You might think you have an infinite bandwidth for love but when coupled with daily life, headspace etc... how do you ensure that you're giving people what they deserve? And, as an aside, do you find being polyam and a self titled lover boy can put people off you? I don’t have an infinite bandwidth for relationships. And that’s how I stop poly saturation. I, as an individual, need to engage in or seek relationships I have capacity for. Sometimes it catches you off guard but talking and being honest about what you have space for it’s important. It’s just life. Sometimes we don’t have the space for the type of relationships we want. You choose to let it go or to explore a different dynamic maybe. Maybe something more casual in terms of time. Maybe more of a comet situation. I dunno. But staying away from dating apps etc when you’re at capacity helps avoiding saturation. Also it probably does put people off. But what can I do? Not be myself? Nah. Charge it to the game and try and appreciate those that love me for it. " ❤️ | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘" Of all the people on here, I’m most sure that you couldn’t never do poly. 🫶🏾 Just because, you know, you might have to love people | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪 if you have the capacity to love more than one of them at the same time and are ok with them loving others at the same time, sure, maybe you are I think it will cause jealously...you'll always love one more than the other ...a bit with let's or your kids 🤷🏻♂️ 🥪" Your poor kids. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘" Judging by some of the answers on here and conversations I’ve had over the years, I think it’s clear that it means more than that to many people. I guess like anything, people will use the term in different ways. I’ve not experienced it being used to establish superiority, personally. My poly friends have described it more as discovering who they are and what relationship style works for them. No winky face here | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪 I really like how much you're trying in this thread. Good job." It's just so interesting....I've just realised I'm Poly...I'll let my conquests know ...might take a while..🥪 | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘" Absolutely! 😇🤩 Nah, I have FWBs outside my partner relationships and there's no romantic love involved. Hot sex, laughs, messages and memes. But the feeling is different. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 Of all the people on here, I’m most sure that you couldn’t never do poly. 🫶🏾 Just because, you know, you might have to love people" Kinda proving my point on the whole better than everyone else bit there pickles | |||
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"Ah Nicky. Best get on changing the world, I’m here for it ❤️ Should, for example, your country do its thing in the next 10/15, with NI doing its thing in consequence (potentially before...you both keep swapping the lead ), that will change England's "world" more than anything since the 1650s parliamentary wars and revolutions....it'll be nicely softened up for Nickyism . What could possibly go wrong Twisty? 😘💖 xxxx" In the next 10/15 years? You’re dreaming, Nicky. I think next year’s Holyrood elections will be a shake up. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? Id say "love" is thrown around a little too easily as well. I'm sure some people are genuinely "poly", I think a lot just jump on the band wagon so to speak. And on here it seems the in thing to do is clutch on to someone that you get on with/have good sex with and make it into something more than just a good FB. But maybe that's just my cynical view of the world 🤷🏻♀️ " Perhaps it is. I don't quite believe you're as cynical any more. I find that people are more likely to say they love someone etc when quite often it's limerence/infatuation but in my decade on here, I've never really seen/read a strong correlation between those people who declare love frequently and those who say they're poly. Do I think every person who says they're poly actually is? No. Not a chance. Equally, I think that there are people who are poly on here and it means far more to them than a bid to appear superior. They're not saying they're better than others, that they're oh so different from everyone else. Just that they've found/are discovering what works for them. I think it's lovely when people can own who they are. Discuss it openly. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 Of all the people on here, I’m most sure that you couldn’t never do poly. 🫶🏾 Just because, you know, you might have to love people Kinda proving my point on the whole better than everyone else bit there pickles" My name is PickleTheWonderSchlong. Of course I think I’m better than everyone else. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 Judging by some of the answers on here and conversations I’ve had over the years, I think it’s clear that it means more than that to many people. I guess like anything, people will use the term in different ways. I’ve not experienced it being used to establish superiority, personally. My poly friends have described it more as discovering who they are and what relationship style works for them. No winky face here " Ah that's such a good reply NipNips! Perfectly put. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 No. Because there's love involved. Relationships. As a poly person you can have friends with benefits and also date. Mind-blowing I know. There's a difference between dating someone and being fwbs, isn't there? I love to put my dick in multiple women ...I'm Poly and I never knew it!!! 🥪 if you have the capacity to love more than one of them at the same time and are ok with them loving others at the same time, sure, maybe you are I think it will cause jealously...you'll always love one more than the other ...a bit with let's or your kids 🤷🏻♂️ 🥪 Your poor kids. " They don't mind...I just refer to them as number 1 or 2...saves remembering their names. 🥪 | |||
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"Ok new question: Why do people existing, being happy on fab, make you mad? Like irrationally upset about their happiness? " Start your own thread WonderSchlong But I think the answer is that’s not just a fab thing, that’s a seeing people have something you wish you had human nature thing. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out?" I think this question was fairly thoroughly answered higher up the convo, before it was sent slightly off piste. The short answer from all concerned can be summed up as - communication. | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 Absolutely! 😇🤩 Nah, I have FWBs outside my partner relationships and there's no romantic love involved. Hot sex, laughs, messages and memes. But the feeling is different. " But if it's just sex and occasional "banter" hate that word, isnt that just a FB? And fwb is more about doing the non sexual stuff as well right? Actually liking someone, caring about them? When does that turn into a poly relationship? I know people will say love but it's a fine line isn't it? Love is often confused for infatuation. And I do believe real love is pretty rare and not easily found. Infatuation and lust however, pretty easy. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? I think this question was fairly thoroughly answered higher up the convo, before it was sent slightly off piste. The short answer from all concerned can be summed up as - communication. " Yeah but it's a bit of a snooze fest, I need short sharp answers, im a busy man. Ive got 4 on WhatsApp, 3 on telegram , 1 on snap, a load more on here ..I feel it's unmanageable at times just looking for advice I feel 10 might be too high, I'm only one man ..so just looking for advice ..🥪 | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out?" Hopefully they have other partners themselves. | |||
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"That you have to have a degree, or be an expert, to know how to be a 'brat'. Who knew Do you? Isn’t it like many things here, everyone has their own take or does it differently? " Well yes, this is what I would have thought too, but apparently you have to be an expert and deep understanding | |||
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"Ok new question: Why do people existing, being happy on fab, make you mad? Like irrationally upset about their happiness? " I dunno but I think it's linked to why some people like pissing on others' chips. | |||
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"Ah Nicky. Best get on changing the world, I’m here for it ❤️ Should, for example, your country do its thing in the next 10/15, with NI doing its thing in consequence (potentially before...you both keep swapping the lead ), that will change England's "world" more than anything since the 1650s parliamentary wars and revolutions....it'll be nicely softened up for Nickyism . What could possibly go wrong Twisty? 😘💖 xxxx In the next 10/15 years? You’re dreaming, Nicky. I think next year’s Holyrood elections will be a shake up." There'll be an awful lot more shaking than that...it started in the Financial Crash, your 2014 referendum surprised everyone (I didn't think there'd be 45% pro-Indy - maybe 35%), 2016 EU shook everything more (again, look how much Scots and NI were anti-exit), then we had 400 UK PMs in a couple of years (or whatever the number was 😉) - unprecedented, and Starmer is not exactly in a strong position. The US has gone in the last decade from hiding its madness beneath the surface to putting it front and centre... Everything will continue to shake and veer wildly for a long time to come - in multiple directions...and that...eventually...breaks the old firm ground. Ground that people consider firm and set, but it never has been if you dig it in the ribs. I'll even buy you a pizza if either Scotland/NI/both haven't left the UK by 2040. And how we perform our senses of autonomy, society, wealth, and relationships etc are all embedded in historical conditions. Massive change, changes everything. Including ENM, poly, parenting xxxx | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? I think this question was fairly thoroughly answered higher up the convo, before it was sent slightly off piste. The short answer from all concerned can be summed up as - communication. " I think this goes to the heart of any sort of non-monogamous relationship. I also think the answer is going to be different for different people. How do you manage your friendships, your family relationships? Returning to poly - I often see this question asked by people wondering how they would manage themselves in that situation. Which is going to look different from how other people do it. Critically, I think you have to know yourself very well before being able to manage any kind of ENM relationship. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Hopefully they have other partners themselves. " A lot of them are married..so If I understand this right, I just message as and tell them I love them, or love putting my dick in them...they come round I ruin the ...they go home and then I repeat with the next one and call it Poly? 🥪 | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out?" Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Hopefully they have other partners themselves. " Interesting point. What happens if they don't? I don't really understand it all and don't think I'd ever fit in any sort of poly dynamic. Or want to 🤷♀️ If I'm honwst, it sounds like another head fuck with a fancy title maybe. But to each their own and to those that make it work, fair play | |||
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"Isn't poly just having a few fwbs, but you just stick a title on it to make you sound cool and a little better than everyone else? 😘 Absolutely! 😇🤩 Nah, I have FWBs outside my partner relationships and there's no romantic love involved. Hot sex, laughs, messages and memes. But the feeling is different. But if it's just sex and occasional "banter" hate that word, isnt that just a FB? And fwb is more about doing the non sexual stuff as well right? Actually liking someone, caring about them? When does that turn into a poly relationship? I know people will say love but it's a fine line isn't it? Love is often confused for infatuation. And I do believe real love is pretty rare and not easily found. Infatuation and lust however, pretty easy. " In my head it’s not a binary thing, more a gradual evolution like with any relationship. When does any situation of people spending time together sexually/romantically/whatever become a relationship? When the people involved in the situation decide it does, I guess | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. " Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪 | |||
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"But if it's just sex and occasional "banter" hate that word, isnt that just a FB? And fwb is more about doing the non sexual stuff as well right? Actually liking someone, caring about them? When does that turn into a poly relationship? I know people will say love but it's a fine line isn't it? Love is often confused for infatuation. And I do believe real love is pretty rare and not easily found. Infatuation and lust however, pretty easy." I've had a fuck buddy for the past few years who is just a fuck buddy. He disappears for periods when he tries to do the relationship thing elsewhere and resurfaces when that doesn't work out. We've chatted and hung out and fucked a lot over the years. He's attractive, fun to talk to, excellent in bed, but there's never been that spark that makes it more than that. My partners are an entirely different kind of connection 💜 | |||
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"May have been answered above, but my question is how do you find time for yourself? I struggle with sorting kids, other half and friends to carve time out for me. How do you prevent yourselves from getting overwhelmed? Do you have a magical ability or what are your methods, I think I need some time management lessons. " Sometimes I put a date in the calendar. And I have a date with myself. | |||
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"May have been answered above, but my question is how do you find time for yourself? I struggle with sorting kids, other half and friends to carve time out for me. How do you prevent yourselves from getting overwhelmed? Do you have a magical ability or what are your methods, I think I need some time management lessons. Sometimes I put a date in the calendar. And I have a date with myself. " You are one of your partners. Make time for you. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Hopefully they have other partners themselves. Interesting point. What happens if they don't? I don't really understand it all and don't think I'd ever fit in any sort of poly dynamic. Or want to 🤷♀️ If I'm honwst, it sounds like another head fuck with a fancy title maybe. But to each their own and to those that make it work, fair play " I think poly people don’t need to have partners. But I think that them having other partners makes some things easier | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪" No, because he has his own fwbs and is an in demand hothusband 😂 You really have been reading the book on on how to win friends and influence people 😍 | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Hopefully they have other partners themselves. Interesting point. What happens if they don't? I don't really understand it all and don't think I'd ever fit in any sort of poly dynamic. Or want to 🤷♀️ If I'm honwst, it sounds like another head fuck with a fancy title maybe. But to each their own and to those that make it work, fair play " One of my partners doesn't see anyone else through his choice. I usually prefer it when they do. But he seems to be happy with how things are and never expressed any resentment towards me seeing other people. He likes his own space a lot, and seems to be well settled with the idea that what I do when we're not physically together in no way detracts from the relationship we have with each other 💜 | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪" It’s funny how people always have their own take on things. Some might think a flippant answer to somebody taking the time to answer a purported serious question is hilarious, others might think it’s a dick move. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. " That's quite a simple way of explaining it that I'd not thought of before! Yes, monogamous people make time for other people in their lives without too much thought. It'd be a bit odd if you only ever spent time with your partner and saw no one else. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪 No, because he has his own fwbs and is an in demand hothusband 😂 You really have been reading the book on on how to win friends and influence people 😍" Not biting on that one eh? I need to try harder ..😂 | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️" I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? | |||
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"But if it's just sex and occasional "banter" hate that word, isnt that just a FB? And fwb is more about doing the non sexual stuff as well right? Actually liking someone, caring about them? When does that turn into a poly relationship? I know people will say love but it's a fine line isn't it? Love is often confused for infatuation. And I do believe real love is pretty rare and not easily found. Infatuation and lust however, pretty easy. I've had a fuck buddy for the past few years who is just a fuck buddy. He disappears for periods when he tries to do the relationship thing elsewhere and resurfaces when that doesn't work out. We've chatted and hung out and fucked a lot over the years. He's attractive, fun to talk to, excellent in bed, but there's never been that spark that makes it more than that. My partners are an entirely different kind of connection 💜" Ok, genuine question, you only have fbs and partners? There is no fwbs for you then? Or do you class them as a partner? | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Hopefully they have other partners themselves. Interesting point. What happens if they don't? I don't really understand it all and don't think I'd ever fit in any sort of poly dynamic. Or want to 🤷♀️ If I'm honwst, it sounds like another head fuck with a fancy title maybe. But to each their own and to those that make it work, fair play " You don't need to understand it. Or want to be part of it. You can try to, if you want to. Learn more, if you want to. There's never any *need* to. I quite like the openness of being poly. It means talking honestly about seeing other people, all of that, amongst other things. I can understand why it's not for everyone though. Some people are romantically monogamous. I can respect that. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪 It’s funny how people always have their own take on things. Some might think a flippant answer to somebody taking the time to answer a purported serious question is hilarious, others might think it’s a dick move." Are you calling me a dick? That's never happened before!!! Outrageous! I think my poor attempts at humour which I use to hide my own insecurities and inadequacies sometimes come across as dickish behaviour, but it's really just because I'm in awe of the superior intellectual and perspicacious respondents that litter these forums... I'll just take my low IQ and Greek God like body elsewhere I guess 🤷🏻♂️. 🥪 | |||
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"May have been answered above, but my question is how do you find time for yourself? I struggle with sorting kids, other half and friends to carve time out for me. How do you prevent yourselves from getting overwhelmed? Do you have a magical ability or what are your methods, I think I need some time management lessons. Sometimes I put a date in the calendar. And I have a date with myself. You are one of your partners. Make time for you. " I like this thought a lot, thanks | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? " Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪 It’s funny how people always have their own take on things. Some might think a flippant answer to somebody taking the time to answer a purported serious question is hilarious, others might think it’s a dick move. Are you calling me a dick? That's never happened before!!! Outrageous! I think my poor attempts at humour which I use to hide my own insecurities and inadequacies sometimes come across as dickish behaviour, but it's really just because I'm in awe of the superior intellectual and perspicacious respondents that litter these forums... I'll just take my low IQ and Greek God like body elsewhere I guess 🤷🏻♂️. 🥪" Don't worry, you have all the ones on WhatsApp and Snap 😘 | |||
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"Serious question...how do you manage all the people in your poly relationship without some feeling left out? Serious answer. You have to talk about it. And for me, it's two people. One I live with and one I don't. If you can make time to see your friends outside your relationship you can make time to see a partner. I'm pretty saturated with two partners, I don't have the time or head space for a third. Doesn't that just mean the guy you live with is a cuck? And the other guy is a legend? Player!!!! 🥪 It’s funny how people always have their own take on things. Some might think a flippant answer to somebody taking the time to answer a purported serious question is hilarious, others might think it’s a dick move. Are you calling me a dick? That's never happened before!!! Outrageous! I think my poor attempts at humour which I use to hide my own insecurities and inadequacies sometimes come across as dickish behaviour, but it's really just because I'm in awe of the superior intellectual and perspicacious respondents that litter these forums... I'll just take my low IQ and Greek God like body elsewhere I guess 🤷🏻♂️. 🥪 Don't worry, you have all the ones on WhatsApp and Snap 😘" Back to the dick pics for me then ..🥪 | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. " I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! | |||
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"I've often wondered exactly what a poly relationship is Cba to Google it I have wondered this as well. I can’t work out if it is basically just an open relationship or whether there is genuine attraction between several people. If it is the latter then I don’t see how that works - especially as all couples complain on here about how hard 3 way attraction is. Genuinely confused. Poly is just essentially the belief that you can love multiple people at once. And so you can engage in multiple relationships and fall in love with multiple people. Every poly relationship looks slightly different. But they all have that fundamental belief and have the capacity for that" Totally agree with this. But if the communication isn't honest and when the boundaries change that's when it falls apart. | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves " It’s hard especially if you have children & a career , finding quality time with one partner it’s hard enough! Everybody makes their own choices I guess but me, my children and my friends come before sex | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! " Oh shit are you upset? | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! " Honestly, as the OP said, it’s a discussion thread. I think lots of different perspectives have been offered. That was the intention in any case. | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! Oh shit are you upset? " I'm not poly pickles, I don't do "feelings" 😘 | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it." Sorry I'm now Poly and she just doesn't get it!! 🥪 | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! " I don't agree. I think those of us who consider ourselves poly have tried to answer questions with humour and honesty. Even when some people (not you) have been downright rude. | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it." Why would that spite everyone? Giving just a little (no, far) too much importance there. | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it. Sorry I'm now Poly and she just doesn't get it!! 🥪" I think I might be gay actually. | |||
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"As with all relationship types- the answer is usually communication. And I don’t mean this in a rude way, but if you can’t get your head around someone else’s relationship type, always remember, you don’t need to. ❤️ I thought that was the whole point of the thread though? Of course but it’s a reminder that if it’s something you don’t get, you don’t actually have to get it. I don't need reminding, believe me there's lots I don't get and am happy not getting. But it's clearly a thread for those that are more "in". Have a great day! Oh shit are you upset? I'm not poly pickles, I don't do "feelings" 😘" Oh thank goodness I was worried. See you in another thread old friend | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it. Why would that spite everyone? Giving just a little (no, far) too much importance there. " Because we're the new Clique!! 💪 | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it. Sorry I'm now Poly and she just doesn't get it!! 🥪 I think I might be gay actually. " Gay for guys | |||
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"I think Raven and Wild Times might shag each other now just to spite everyone. And probably enjoy it. Why would that spite everyone? Giving just a little (no, far) too much importance there. Because we're the new Clique!! 💪" If you have a telegram group then I believe you | |||
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"Ok, genuine question, you only have fbs and partners? There is no fwbs for you then? Or do you class them as a partner?" I have friends that I have previously been sexual with. I've found it tends to get messy when we're close and they don't see things the same way as me. The fuck buddy I mentioned I still hang out with as a mate occasionally, so perhaps they'd class as a friend with benefits to most people rather than just a booty call situation 💜 | |||
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"Their are definitely dynamics i don't understand but i do like learning about them even if it's something I'm definitely not into. Some people probably can't understand our dynamics and that's totally fine I'm not asking anyone to. Im definitely emotionally and romantically monogamous and I'm definitely way to selfish to be poly. I'm the type that if my husband went on 1 date with someone else he would have to take me on 5 my poor husband would probably be mentally and physically drained after a week . One of the best things we love about this lifestyle is we have made friends with people who have totally different dynamics to us and even tho we dont understand alot of them (we dont have to) as it's not our business or relationship. " I find other people's dynamics fascinating! I love that you don't have to understand them to learn about them. I think there's a huge misconception that poly people don't get jealous. I've learned so much about myself by sitting with that feeling and working through why. I also totally agree that some people are emotionally and romantically monogamous. | |||
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"I think there's a huge misconception that poly people don't get jealous. I've learned so much about myself by sitting with that feeling and working through why. I also totally agree that some people are emotionally and romantically monogamous. " It’s the jealousy thing that I was also wondering about on my question to Pickles earlier. That must be difficult to deal with. | |||
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"Their are definitely dynamics i don't understand but i do like learning about them even if it's something I'm definitely not into. Some people probably can't understand our dynamics and that's totally fine I'm not asking anyone to. Im definitely emotionally and romantically monogamous and I'm definitely way to selfish to be poly. I'm the type that if my husband went on 1 date with someone else he would have to take me on 5 my poor husband would probably be mentally and physically drained after a week . One of the best things we love about this lifestyle is we have made friends with people who have totally different dynamics to us and even tho we dont understand alot of them (we dont have to) as it's not our business or relationship. I find other people's dynamics fascinating! I love that you don't have to understand them to learn about them. I think there's a huge misconception that poly people don't get jealous. I've learned so much about myself by sitting with that feeling and working through why. I also totally agree that some people are emotionally and romantically monogamous. " It is definitely enlightening to read and learn about the different approaches 😎😎 | |||
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"This has been quite interesting to read. I’ll be honest and say my opinion on Poly (which is based purely from what I’ve read on Fab over the years about Poly) is pretty much how Raven summed it up. That is probably due to the fact that I’m extremely old fashioned in my views on dating and relationships and I’m very much a monogamous kind of gal when in a romantic relationship. I just know myself and know I couldn’t “share”. Having trust issues from past relationship circumstances doesn’t help either. It’s been interesting reading the other side of it. I think being able to love multiple people is both a gift and a curse, and probably causes many a headache as well as joy. Thanks for explaining it 😊 " This is such a lovely post Luna - knowing yourself well enough to know why you view things in a particular way, reading more to learn. I love learning more about different dynamics, what's important to people. Being poly can be a headache. A ballache. Ache. I suppose it's no different from monogamous relationships in that regard. But you're right, there can be a lot of joy in being poly. When it works it's truly beautiful and I feel very lucky to have the people in my life that I do. | |||
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"I've always wondered how poly relationships divide time so that all parties feel they are valued. I also wonder how the primary poly person carves out enough downtime for themselves I only have one partner that has a primary nesting relationship, the rest are more fluid. I haven't seen that one in person since before Halloween, a combination of family, illness, work, and everything else has conspired to make it not so. But he makes sure to communicate and let me know I matter to him, and while it sucks that I miss him physically, I don't feel ignored or less than. Sometimes it just is what it is. And when life calms down some we'll be back to normal 💜 But do you view this person as a partner, or it this more of a FWB feeling? I don't really go for labels, but just trying to walk in your shoes and understand how I would feel in this scenario... maybe I'm applying too much meaning to poly" This is what I struggle with - when are they just an open ‘primary’ relationship with (good) Friends With Benefits.. An emotional attachment threshold has to be exceeded I guess.. | |||
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" Its a complicated one and everyone does it their own way and finds what works for them. There is no wrong or right way." So true, for all fab, swing and kink interactions! | |||
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"I think there's a huge misconception that poly people don't get jealous. I've learned so much about myself by sitting with that feeling and working through why. I also totally agree that some people are emotionally and romantically monogamous. It’s the jealousy thing that I was also wondering about on my question to Pickles earlier. That must be difficult to deal with." I’m the same - intrigued as to how they manage the emotional states of each partner. For example- feeling the pressures or mundanity of say family/ work / household and then deciding it’s a bit much and depart for the comforts of another partner… well fuck you very much. Go have some fun and leave me here to hold things together.. 🤨 | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. " I'm always interested in that because for us it never happened, we met on the swinging scene. | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy " To you.gif | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x Yeah,I get there's probably loads of different answers. Met a couple once who were in there 30s and prior to attending clubs,had been each others only partners. Wondered how that chat started" This could have been us. We attended our first club at 36 and had been together exclusively since 17. We had always used role play to enhance our sex life and the more we talked about it the more it evolved to the point we decided to take the plunge | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x Yeah,I get there's probably loads of different answers. Met a couple once who were in there 30s and prior to attending clubs,had been each others only partners. Wondered how that chat started This could have been us. We attended our first club at 36 and had been together exclusively since 17. We had always used role play to enhance our sex life and the more we talked about it the more it evolved to the point we decided to take the plunge " Very similar to us, TMNs | |||
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"I think there's a huge misconception that poly people don't get jealous. I've learned so much about myself by sitting with that feeling and working through why. I also totally agree that some people are emotionally and romantically monogamous. It’s the jealousy thing that I was also wondering about on my question to Pickles earlier. That must be difficult to deal with. I’m the same - intrigued as to how they manage the emotional states of each partner. For example- feeling the pressures or mundanity of say family/ work / household and then deciding it’s a bit much and depart for the comforts of another partner… well fuck you very much. Go have some fun and leave me here to hold things together.. 🤨 " And if that happened then we wouldn't be doing it. And sometimes I've had a completely shitty day, worked 11 hours and have to do the cook dinner, feed the kids, laundry things. Because both my partners have plans with other people. That's life and why should I shit in their shoes? I'm a capable human being who can be content with their own company. (Those are good days to have an awesome film friend though 🥰) | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy " Do you think that might be a cognitive bias on your part? I've read many happy posts celebrating poly life, excitedly talking about plans with a partner, about the happiness it can bring. I've never seen you on those threads. The positive ones. Commenting on the positive posts about it. Perhaps you might miss them. It happens. I don't think it requires any more work than a monogamous relationship. Certainly not constant. Having been in monogamous relationships and poly, I'm aware of the level of 'work' for both. I might be a beautiful exception but... I somehow doubt that. I've found that right now a fair few of my poly friends are happy. Very happy and fulfilled. And not looking for others. Post things to say that in this thread, for example. I do understand that we can read certain things and miss others though. | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x Yeah,I get there's probably loads of different answers. Met a couple once who were in there 30s and prior to attending clubs,had been each others only partners. Wondered how that chat started This could have been us. We attended our first club at 36 and had been together exclusively since 17. We had always used role play to enhance our sex life and the more we talked about it the more it evolved to the point we decided to take the plunge Very similar to us, TMNs " Ah the second comment wasn’t us x | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy Do you think that might be a cognitive bias on your part? I've read many happy posts celebrating poly life, excitedly talking about plans with a partner, about the happiness it can bring. I've never seen you on those threads. The positive ones. Commenting on the positive posts about it. Perhaps you might miss them. It happens. I don't think it requires any more work than a monogamous relationship. Certainly not constant. Having been in monogamous relationships and poly, I'm aware of the level of 'work' for both. I might be a beautiful exception but... I somehow doubt that. I've found that right now a fair few of my poly friends are happy. Very happy and fulfilled. And not looking for others. Post things to say that in this thread, for example. I do understand that we can read certain things and miss others though." Leaving aside the fact I think you've just alluded to me being a negative Nellie Yeah there's probably a cognitive bias, I don’t venture into the happy clappy threads. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice | |||
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"I have always wondered how the initial conversation starts between a couple, but hen they decide to explore having sex with others. I think there will probably be hundreds of different answers to this! I have seen it asked often by people who want to suggest it to their partner. Speaking personally, I honestly don’t remember. I think we were fairly experimental in our sex life and it just went from there. Mrs TMN x Yeah,I get there's probably loads of different answers. Met a couple once who were in there 30s and prior to attending clubs,had been each others only partners. Wondered how that chat started This could have been us. We attended our first club at 36 and had been together exclusively since 17. We had always used role play to enhance our sex life and the more we talked about it the more it evolved to the point we decided to take the plunge Very similar to us, TMNs Ah the second comment wasn’t us x" Oops Similar for us and whoever made that comment! | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy Do you think that might be a cognitive bias on your part? I've read many happy posts celebrating poly life, excitedly talking about plans with a partner, about the happiness it can bring. I've never seen you on those threads. The positive ones. Commenting on the positive posts about it. Perhaps you might miss them. It happens. I don't think it requires any more work than a monogamous relationship. Certainly not constant. Having been in monogamous relationships and poly, I'm aware of the level of 'work' for both. I might be a beautiful exception but... I somehow doubt that. I've found that right now a fair few of my poly friends are happy. Very happy and fulfilled. And not looking for others. Post things to say that in this thread, for example. I do understand that we can read certain things and miss others though. Leaving aside the fact I think you've just alluded to me being a negative Nellie Yeah there's probably a cognitive bias, I don’t venture into the happy clappy threads. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " 100% agree with this. That’s been my experience for eight years on here and quite a few relationships. | |||
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" The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice 100% agree with this. That’s been my experience for eight years on here and quite a few relationships." It’s an interesting one. I think all relationships require emotional work but I’ve found the work in an ENM (not poly) relationship to be more overt. I wonder if that’s because I recognise it for what it is, rather than being implicit? So if I was to venture into poly it would be something that was upfront in the relationship, and therefore discussed openly in ways which i don’t think is as common within traditional relationships. | |||
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"How do those in poly relationships respect the boundaries of their partners, if they change? Let's say one partner decides they're not comfortable with you seeing anyone else for a period, do you prioritise one partner over another. Or, do you prioritise what's best for you?" Ooh excellent question. Nobody has mentioned boundaries thus far | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy Do you think that might be a cognitive bias on your part? I've read many happy posts celebrating poly life, excitedly talking about plans with a partner, about the happiness it can bring. I've never seen you on those threads. The positive ones. Commenting on the positive posts about it. Perhaps you might miss them. It happens. I don't think it requires any more work than a monogamous relationship. Certainly not constant. Having been in monogamous relationships and poly, I'm aware of the level of 'work' for both. I might be a beautiful exception but... I somehow doubt that. I've found that right now a fair few of my poly friends are happy. Very happy and fulfilled. And not looking for others. Post things to say that in this thread, for example. I do understand that we can read certain things and miss others though. Leaving aside the fact I think you've just alluded to me being a negative Nellie Yeah there's probably a cognitive bias, I don’t venture into the happy clappy threads. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " Ha, I made you use an emote! Super* proud of that. If you don't venture in to the happy clappy threads, poly threads, weekend plans threads, love etc ... it makes sense that that's your viewpoint. I'd probably have similar. We do tend to remember the negative more easily. Speaking personally, I've only ever experienced one bad "poly" (it wasn't ENM) relationship. And yes there was angst. I didn't really like the woman I was during it. As things are right now? I'm very happy. Six months, zero angst, arguments, friction. All of that. It's a wonderful feeling and I've posted a lot about how happy I am. The majority of my poly relationships I've been very happy. I do understand I'm one person but I know there are others similar to me on here. Who share their joy. *hyperbole | |||
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"How do those in poly relationships respect the boundaries of their partners, if they change? Let's say one partner decides they're not comfortable with you seeing anyone else for a period, do you prioritise one partner over another. Or, do you prioritise what's best for you? Ooh excellent question. Nobody has mentioned boundaries thus far " Well in this specific example it sounds hierarchical. But also it would only apply to couples that have veto rights over partners. My relationship doesn’t have that. I wouldn’t get with anyone whose relationship did have that. So in my experience if someone wants to take a break, they can but they can’t demand that of their partner. Poly is about freedom to me. It’s about dismantling the ownership aspect of traditional monogamous relationships. Also poly is just about communicating. Have a conversation about your feelings on something and seek reassurance and support from partners rather than expecting them to do something because you aren’t feeling it anymore. | |||
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"How do those in poly relationships respect the boundaries of their partners, if they change? Let's say one partner decides they're not comfortable with you seeing anyone else for a period, do you prioritise one partner over another. Or, do you prioritise what's best for you?" I think you'd have to have an open and frank discussion about *why* their boundries have changed, is it something I have done that has made them feel insecure, is it something external of the relationship etc. I think expecting me to dump another partner I am in a relationship with and have an emotional connection with because *they've* decided they want monogamy is unfair and unreasonable. Try and work towards a compromise and get to the source of the issue. If the partner is still unwilling, whether i would be happy with monogamy would depends entirely on how invested I was in the relationship, and whether I had any other emotional attachments with other people at that time or not. If not then I might be happy to close off the relationship for a period of time, if I did have other partners then I think it's an unreasonable request and I'd have to consider my own needs, feelings and whether we are compatible. The answer really is it depends on numerous factors. | |||
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"How do those in poly relationships respect the boundaries of their partners, if they change? Let's say one partner decides they're not comfortable with you seeing anyone else for a period, do you prioritise one partner over another. Or, do you prioritise what's best for you? Ooh excellent question. Nobody has mentioned boundaries thus far Well in this specific example it sounds hierarchical. But also it would only apply to couples that have veto rights over partners. My relationship doesn’t have that. I wouldn’t get with anyone whose relationship did have that. So in my experience if someone wants to take a break, they can but they can’t demand that of their partner. Poly is about freedom to me. It’s about dismantling the ownership aspect of traditional monogamous relationships. Also poly is just about communicating. Have a conversation about your feelings on something and seek reassurance and support from partners rather than expecting them to do something because you aren’t feeling it anymore. " Agree with all this! | |||
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"Whilst I'm onboard with the idea that all relationships require some kind of 'work' at various points to maintain them, whenever I read anything about poly relationships, it sounds, to me, like they need constant 'work '. That sounds very tiring (to me). It also seems that an awful lot of time is spent seeking others and poly people often don't sound fulfilled or entirely happy Do you think that might be a cognitive bias on your part? I've read many happy posts celebrating poly life, excitedly talking about plans with a partner, about the happiness it can bring. I've never seen you on those threads. The positive ones. Commenting on the positive posts about it. Perhaps you might miss them. It happens. I don't think it requires any more work than a monogamous relationship. Certainly not constant. Having been in monogamous relationships and poly, I'm aware of the level of 'work' for both. I might be a beautiful exception but... I somehow doubt that. I've found that right now a fair few of my poly friends are happy. Very happy and fulfilled. And not looking for others. Post things to say that in this thread, for example. I do understand that we can read certain things and miss others though. Leaving aside the fact I think you've just alluded to me being a negative Nellie Yeah there's probably a cognitive bias, I don’t venture into the happy clappy threads. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " All relationships require constant work. Sorry to break it to you and constant communication. Lots of people have bare to say but they’re single or they’re not in the relationships they’re talking so much about. Also the idea that people experiencing ‘emotional angst’ are so *because of* being poly is interesting. | |||
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"Also interesting thing I learned recently was the Disneyland effect in poly. That’s a worry that people in here have expressed. Look that up. Also it happens in monogamous relationships. People may just use friendships as their Disneyland but it’s the same thing. Solution: communication" I just found a great article because of this post. Thank you. ❤️ | |||
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" I just found a great article because of this post. Thank you. ❤️" Would you mind sharing the name of the site? I just searched and I got one polyam site that gave it a passing mention, and the rest of my results are all cringey vloggers going to actual Disney with the whole polycule | |||
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" I just found a great article because of this post. Thank you. ❤️ Would you mind sharing the name of the site? I just searched and I got one polyam site that gave it a passing mention, and the rest of my results are all cringey vloggers going to actual Disney with the whole polycule " radicalrelating non-escalator relationships | |||
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" I just found a great article because of this post. Thank you. ❤️ Would you mind sharing the name of the site? I just searched and I got one polyam site that gave it a passing mention, and the rest of my results are all cringey vloggers going to actual Disney with the whole polycule radicalrelating non-escalator relationships" Thanks! | |||
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"My belief is the people who appear grumpy and contrary online are sad lonely people. Actually that’s an unfair thing to say " It feels unnecessarily personal. My views are about what I observe of poly relationships in general | |||
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"My belief is the people who appear grumpy and contrary online are sad lonely people. Actually that’s an unfair thing to say It feels unnecessarily personal. My views are about what I observe of poly relationships in general " I felt this comment of yours also seemed unnecessarily personally aimed at someone. "The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " | |||
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"My belief is the people who appear grumpy and contrary online are sad lonely people. Actually that’s an unfair thing to say It feels unnecessarily personal. My views are about what I observe of poly relationships in general I felt this comment of yours also seemed unnecessarily personally aimed at someone. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " It wasn't aimed at an individual | |||
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"I've found a lot of value in this thread, thanks Mrs TMN. It's been skewed toward poly rather than swinging and other ENM stuff but if people don't have the questions about those things... " Yes I was surprised there weren’t more questions about swinging and ENM relationships outside of poly, cos I think they are much more common round here! Thanks for sharing though. I love finding out, people and relationships are endlessly fascinating. | |||
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"My belief is the people who appear grumpy and contrary online are sad lonely people. Actually that’s an unfair thing to say It feels unnecessarily personal. My views are about what I observe of poly relationships in general I felt this comment of yours also seemed unnecessarily personally aimed at someone. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice " I felt the same. | |||
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"My belief is the people who appear grumpy and contrary online are sad lonely people. Actually that’s an unfair thing to say It feels unnecessarily personal. My views are about what I observe of poly relationships in general I felt this comment of yours also seemed unnecessarily personally aimed at someone. The loudest poly voices seem to experience lots of emotional angst...that's what I notice It wasn't aimed at an individual " individual or group of individuals. It was a dig at people | |||
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