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Partner messaging previous meet
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Difficult one where I have absolute trust in my partner but found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago
Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
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If you don't feel comfortable with the communication they are having you should first discuss calmly and neutrally with your partner (no blame or raised voices).
Tell them your feelings and ask them to stop, or this will fester. Other than that just be open to seeing her side of things. You said he messaged first, maybe she was just being polite by replying? The best thing you can do is to communicate with your partner about things. Good luck x |
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"If you don't feel comfortable with the communication they are having you should first discuss calmly and neutrally with your partner (no blame or raised voices).
Tell them your feelings and ask them to stop, or this will fester. Other than that just be open to seeing her side of things. You said he messaged first, maybe she was just being polite by replying? The best thing you can do is to communicate with your partner about things. Good luck x"
Great advice here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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How did you find this out?
Did you look through her phone without her knowledge?
If that's the case, you already don't trust her for some reason before you found out/saw the message? |
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"If you don't feel comfortable with the communication they are having you should first discuss calmly and neutrally with your partner (no blame or raised voices).
Tell them your feelings and ask them to stop, or this will fester. Other than that just be open to seeing her side of things. You said he messaged first, maybe she was just being polite by replying? The best thing you can do is to communicate with your partner about things. Good luck x"
this don't think could add anymore |
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"Difficult one where I have absolute trust in my partner but found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago
Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
"
As I see it, the most salient point in your post is "...but I found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago"
How did you find out? Did you check her phone without her knowledge? |
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"How did you find this out?
Did you look through her phone without her knowledge?
If that's the case, you already don't trust her for some reason before you found out/saw the message? "
My thoughts exactly - but you beat me to it! |
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By *apio51Man 3 weeks ago
Edinburgh ish |
Few things going on here.
Initially I assumed this was a meet you had consented to, but you are on a single profile…does she know about this single profile (I’m making an assumption that you have a couples profile). I think you can extrapolate where I’m going with this…
So that leads to: what are you doing looking at her phone?? Is she allowed to look at yours?
There are other questions I have that these lead onto but it’s really none of my business. I don’t think I can assume any more without knowing the answers to the first two…in particular, what is the dynamic you two have on here? Singles, couples, meet separately? Do you both know what the other is doing? |
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" Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
"
you answered your own question
are you sure swinging works for you because it doesn't sound like it does to me |
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Just to provide a little clarification... my current partner is a long term meet from another site.
The message was shown to me after we mentioned the last time they has spoken
I haven't seen previous messages or known that they were still talking hence the uncomfortableness
It's all a little strange to me and I'm not sure what I should do |
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P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post |
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By *apio51Man 3 weeks ago
Edinburgh ish |
I think then, in light of your last couple messages, you need to take a long hard look at whether this lifestyle is one for you.
It sounds like she has been completely transparent with you and you are on a swingers site questioning how you feel about her talking to an ex-meet.
Sorry to be harsh. |
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She has sent a text message back to someone who messaged her. Apparently nothing more. It's a fairly normal behaviour, presumably where she's not previously claimed to have cut all contact. If you're in a closed relationship, then the 2 of you set the boundaries. This is all regular stuff that you deal with by communicating openly. |
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Is a long term meet someone you've been having sex with for a long time?
If there's no agreement to be exclusive then she (and you) can message and meet up with whoever you want...
I'm confused why you think otherwise |
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People do wish others they know, for all sorts of reasons, a Merry Christmas at Christmas time.
I understand it to be a seasonal thing.
Some people also send cards but that practice is apparently on the decline.
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"People do wish others they know, for all sorts of reasons, a Merry Christmas at Christmas time.
I understand it to be a seasonal thing.
Some people also send cards but that practice is apparently on the decline.
"
I'd agree except this isn't someone she knows.
What struck me most was this was a Merry Christmas to a 'meet' from two years ago.
A shag, two years ago. TWO years ago ......
How many people you've had meet for sex with are messaging you Merry Christmas? Let alone TWO YEARS AGO
Maybe he just messaged everyone in his phone or maybe he was lonely this Christmas and took a chance but .....bloody hell Two Years Ago ......
Did I mention it was two years ago?
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"Difficult one where I have absolute trust in my partner but found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago
Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
You must be to make the post !
Man up as it’s prob innocent 🙄
"
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"P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post "
You have a meet up for tonight on your profile? |
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"P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post
You have a meet up for tonight on your profile?"
 |
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"People do wish others they know, for all sorts of reasons, a Merry Christmas at Christmas time.
I understand it to be a seasonal thing.
Some people also send cards but that practice is apparently on the decline.
I'd agree except this isn't someone she knows.
What struck me most was this was a Merry Christmas to a 'meet' from two years ago.
A shag, two years ago. TWO years ago ......
How many people you've had meet for sex with are messaging you Merry Christmas? Let alone TWO YEARS AGO
Maybe he just messaged everyone in his phone or maybe he was lonely this Christmas and took a chance but .....bloody hell Two Years Ago ......
Did I mention it was two years ago?
"
Yes you did Granny and it could be that he was lonely a lot of men are at this time of year and it could be he was horny a lot of men are or it could be he sent it to the wrong person it could be men are short sighted especially at this time of year . |
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"Difficult one where I have absolute trust in my partner but found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago
Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
"
You have "absolute trust" in her so why are you worried ? |
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By *ornycougaWoman 3 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post
You have a meet up for tonight on your profile?"
This. Does she know that you are "Fab straight"? |
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"Difficult one where I have absolute trust in my partner but found that she is messaging merry Christmas to an old meet from 2 years ago
Stirred something that I can't shake
He messaged first and she just replied with xx
Am I on the jealous side??
"
I'm don't really see the issue? Someone she must have liked, to meet /fuck. They say merry Christmas, she sends three kisses.
You don't own her... This is a nothing issue that you are making into an issue.
Deal with your jealousy it is ugly and is the first wedge. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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All relationships need trust, open communication and honesty. Ans this us heightened, for me, in swinging/open relationships.
Seems like trust and communication are issues you need to work on.
When I was swinging we agreed that we wouldn't engage in activity likely to threaten our relationship. Maybe you have similar agreements, maybe not. But either way you need to be able to discuss how you feel and what you think about things involving others.
A solid foundation relationship is a must, and if inviting others into it, any cracks will only be exposed and magnified. |
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I think it's made you feel a little insecure.
Probably best to chat to her about it.
If she'd replied to a message from an old platonic friend from two years ago would you have felt the same? If not what is it about this interaction that threatens you? |
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By *ornycougaWoman 3 weeks ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"They’ve been banging like bunnies for the last two years
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years. "
I get this all the time. They go through a dry spell, have a scroll through their back catalogue and shoot their shot 🤷 |
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"
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years.
Maybe he is going through a dry patch and wants another shag with her ?"
Possibly, my money is on his strategy getting a result. |
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"They’ve been banging like bunnies for the last two years
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years. "
I had a Christmas card from someone I've had no contact with for about 9 years. It was a woman and we'd never had sex so 🤷♀️ |
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"I think it's made you feel a little insecure.
Probably best to chat to her about it.
If she'd replied to a message from an old platonic friend from two years ago would you have felt the same? If not what is it about this interaction that threatens you? "
Mrs NC, you are just lovely. This is written so sensitively, sensibly and kindly. ❤️ |
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"I think it's made you feel a little insecure.
Probably best to chat to her about it.
If she'd replied to a message from an old platonic friend from two years ago would you have felt the same? If not what is it about this interaction that threatens you?
Mrs NC, you are just lovely. This is written so sensitively, sensibly and kindly. ❤️"
Oh. Thank you |
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"
Mrs NC, you are just lovely. This is written so sensitively, sensibly and kindly. ❤️
Did you send her that Christmas Card ?  "
No that was from a woman friend who 'ghosted' me.
I'm still trying to work out why she sent it. I'm guessing she wrote her cards on autopilot and my name is still in her address book. |
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"They’ve been banging like bunnies for the last two years
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years.
I had a Christmas card from someone I've had no contact with for about 9 years. It was a woman and we'd never had sex so 🤷♀️"
And she’s probably not looking to have sex with you.
The context is in the nature of the original acquaintance. |
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"They’ve been banging like bunnies for the last two years
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years.
I had a Christmas card from someone I've had no contact with for about 9 years. It was a woman and we'd never had sex so 🤷♀️
And she’s probably not looking to have sex with you.
The context is in the nature of the original acquaintance. "
I'm hurt. I thought everyone wanted to have sex with me 😭 |
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"
Did you send her that Christmas Card ?
No that was from a woman friend who 'ghosted' me.
I'm still trying to work out why she sent it. I'm guessing she wrote her cards on autopilot and my name is still in her address book. "
Did you send her one in return ? |
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"They’ve been banging like bunnies for the last two years
Who randomly messages happy Christmas to someone they’ve had no contact with for two years.
I had a Christmas card from someone I've had no contact with for about 9 years. It was a woman and we'd never had sex so 🤷♀️
And she’s probably not looking to have sex with you.
The context is in the nature of the original acquaintance.
I'm hurt. I thought everyone wanted to have sex with me 😭"
Oh shit, have I inadvertently burst a bubble, sorry. |
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"
Did you send her that Christmas Card ?
No that was from a woman friend who 'ghosted' me.
I'm still trying to work out why she sent it. I'm guessing she wrote her cards on autopilot and my name is still in her address book.
Did you send her one in return ?"
No. She's off my list for ever now  |
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"P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post
You have a meet up for tonight on your profile?
This. Does she know that you are "Fab straight"?"
Yes I noticed that too. Can't help but wonder if their partner knows?
XX |
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"Just to provide a little clarification... my current partner is a long term meet from another site.
The message was shown to me after we mentioned the last time they has spoken
I haven't seen previous messages or known that they were still talking hence the uncomfortableness
It's all a little strange to me and I'm not sure what I should do"
If she showed you the message she must feel that she has nothing to hide. What made you ask when they had last spoken ? |
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Your getting Sherlock'd OP.
Presumably if you feel the need to post it here it's because you can't shake it.
Ask her. Be honest about how seeing the message made you feel. It's ok to feel a little insecure and seek reassurance. |
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"P.s.
Profile status has always been single as I haven't been on much since meeting up and haven't updated.
Not that it would matter much as we both have profiles on here
Yes she could see this post
You have a meet up for tonight on your profile?
This. Does she know that you are "Fab straight"?
Yes I noticed that too. Can't help but wonder if their partner knows?
XX "
Couldn’t see any fab straight references, must have edited |
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"People do wish others they know, for all sorts of reasons, a Merry Christmas at Christmas time.
I understand it to be a seasonal thing.
Some people also send cards but that practice is apparently on the decline.
I'd agree except this isn't someone she knows.
What struck me most was this was a Merry Christmas to a 'meet' from two years ago.
A shag, two years ago. TWO years ago ......
How many people you've had meet for sex with are messaging you Merry Christmas? Let alone TWO YEARS AGO
Maybe he just messaged everyone in his phone or maybe he was lonely this Christmas and took a chance but .....bloody hell Two Years Ago ......
Did I mention it was two years ago?
"
Granny I still get Merry Christmas messages from people I bonked nearly two decades ago.
I assume it's a particularly lonely time of year for some and don't bother responding any more 💜 |
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As a single guy I will often message a wife I have met before but that’s part of the relationship we have set up with hubby as well.
If a husband no longer felt comfortable with me messaging her then I would stop as I don’t want to mess their relationship up.
If you don’t feel happy about any more OP then I think it is more than reasonable to ask her (and him) to stop it. I would have no problem backing away if a hubby asked me to. |
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